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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #5741
    wwwww Spartacus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Oops, looks like I beat you to it then. Sorry about that.

    On Godly Divine Core... it'd be EX ranked if he was summoned as a true Divine Spirit but since he's taking a mortal vessel it has been lowered (if only barely). Gungnir Jewel could maybe use to be a bit more powerful but since he has a super cheat-like EX-ranked NP already I didn't really feel the need to stuff too much into it. And thanks for the feedback!
    Oh alright, I forgot about IshtaRin on the Divine Core part.

    He proly doesn't need his other NPs that much. He have Second Magic, he can spam Gungnir Jewel like no tomorrow. :lol:

  2. #5742
    夜魔 Nightmare sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Servant Caster:

    True Name: Herbert George Wells

    Alignment: True Neutral

    Strength- D
    Agility- C
    Endurance- B
    Mana- B+
    Luck- B
    NP- B

    Appearance:

    Ripped from Danbooru, links for Danbooru, Pivix and Imgur

    Personality: A mundane man, one used to his own normal, polite life but his more inventive thoughts make themselves manifest in the smallest of ways, a slight flourish of the hands upon finishing a task for example. He is more of a lover than a fighter, but has a resentment of those who repress others in order to maintain their own power. Caster is perfectly willing to participate in the Holy Grail War but is more interested in the survival of himself and those he cares for. His personality has been warped to match those of his most famous protagonists from The Time Machine and The War of the Worlds. Thankfully each of these protagonists have a similar personality to Caster himself, and his personality does not become overly eclectic

    Likes: Peaceful work between nations, the search for knowledge, the spirit of man
    Dislikes: Eugenics, Social Darwinism etc.
    Talents: Optimism, Orthodox Creativity
    Natural Enemy: Howard Phillips Lovecraft

    Class Abilities:

    Territory Construction (C): Caster does not possess a workshop but a study, from which he can use his abilities more efficiently

    Item Construction (N/A): Caster's Item Construction is replaced by one of his Noble Phantasms

    Personal Skills:

    Battle Continuation (D): A strange skill for a Caster to possess, Caster is infused with the insane resolve of a survivor leading to him being capable of pressing through conditions he would not normally be capable of achieving. This skill manifests when Caster faces inhuman foes whose power far outmatches his own, a mere fraction of humanities rage against an unbeatable, unstoppable foe.

    Weak Constitution (C): Caster was bedridden in his early years and was a known diabetic, this skill leads to a random chance for his stats to drop, being disadvantageous in combat situations.

    Expert of Many Specilizations (C): Caster was not limited to just fictional writing, for which he is famous for, but also wrote on many socio-political topics. At a C rank he gains a large amount of accurate knowledge on many subjects, allowing him to contend with modern day experts on many matters.

    Noble Phantasms


    The Time Machine- The Journey of Three Hours (C, Support): Caster's item construction ability allows him to commence the creation of his time machine, this will take a sufficient amount of resources such as steel, but little actual magical energy, to construct. Caster's attention however is instrumental to the creation of this device and it will take far longer than three days if he is to be distracted with the events of the Grail War.

    The Noble Phantasm appears as a small pocket watch with three point on it, -1, 0 and 1. By activating this Noble Phantasm Caster can reverse any effects that have happened to him in the past three hours. Returning himself to his state of being before any attacks were suffered, in a situation where Caster is barely able to survive a damaging attack from an opponent such as Excalibur, he can return to his previous self before that instant.

    The NP does not require activation mana to come from Caster, instead it leeches its mana from those witnessing the event. Because of this however, it cannot be activated without an audience of at least one human, be they Master, Servant or Bystander. Though the mana taken is not a lot noticing the theft of their own mana can allow an intelligent Master to work around the trick of this Noble Phantasm. When the Noble Phantasm is activated, white, alien flowers bloom at Caster's feet before consuming his entire body, revealing the "self" of three hours previously, with the mind of the "self" of now.

    The Invisible Man- The Refractive Index of Air (D, Anti-Unit): Caster's weakest Noble Phantasm and one he is reluctant to use, Caster gains a simple C rank in presence concealment by use of this. The NP is weak, Caster himself describing it as "Nothing like the invisibility of the Novel" as while it allows a Servant whose aim is to survive the Grail War the capability to escape, he must be immobile to use it, this also drains Caster's mana and is more of a stalling ability than anything else.

    The War of the Worlds- Slain, after all man's devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, has put upon this earth (A, Anti-Unit): Caster's third Survival Noble Phantasm, when in his most dire situation Caster is most likely to release the Noble Phantasm which puts into play a device with which to eliminate otherworldly foes.

    This NP is far more modest in comparison to Caster's other tricks, and is heralded by nothing but an otherworldly scream that is let loose across the land. The victim of this NP will be afflicted with a manner of bacteria that takes complete advantage of any weakness of their body. This NP rips apart those that rely on technology or far away powers to fight their battles, even those who would try to defy the laws of rationality will find a weakening, rotting essence pervade their body until they die of any manner of bodily shutdowns. This ability drains all Caster's energy to use, and can only be activated when he is in a broken, weakened state that is fully accepting of his death at the hands of a foe that defies human reason. Caster himself doesn't understand or know of the existence of this NP, but it still comes to him in his most desperate hour.



    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Not necessarily an original Servant sheet, but I wanted to contribute more and thought that the "Father of Science Fiction" deserved a Servant. It is likely that someone will have already conceived these ideas far better than I, which I discovered with my pale attempt at an Agatha Christie themed Servant. Hopefully there is still much I can do to improve upon this Servant, and clearly he fits the role of an overpowered protagonist better than others (what could be expected of an "Author" Caster class Servant).

    Image Used:
    http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2331380

    http://imgur.com/tInr2RQ

    https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust....st_id=56368799
    Last edited by sherlock1110; April 28th, 2017 at 04:07 PM. Reason: Fixed image and image links

  3. #5743
    Deadass Baka Ail Don's Avatar
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    While HG Wells is a neato Servant idea, if you want the picture to show up you have to post it to Imgur first or something.
    Also giving the original pixiv credit might be a better idea than the danbooru. Good job!

  4. #5744
    夜魔 Nightmare sherlock1110's Avatar
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    I'm sorry I will make those changes ASAP. Sorry I didn't realise that's how it worked, sorry. Also it's a fairly unoriginal idea, there's a lot of far-better Servants and Wells comes into the Caster Author type which is pretty common

  5. #5745
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    That Wells sheet is pretty cool. Having an NP for each of his most famous novels works quite well, and the NPs themselves are creatively fleshed out without being too overpowered. The first one is particularly good. Outright time-travel fits poorly into Nasuverse lore so you did a good job limiting it into a defensive ability of being able to 'rewind' his own injuries.

    I second Ail that the FC you linked doesn't work, though.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, since Wells is big on the "spirit of mankind" and what-not, I'm curious as to how he'd get along with my own James Watt Servant. A dialogue between the two should be interesting, at least.

  6. #5746
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Weird... his FC showed up for me a few moments ago but when I refreshed the page it went blank again. You sure you uploaded it from Imgur properly?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also just in case anybody cares, I've changed the name of Odin's Bond CE from "Macabre Valhalla" to "Ever-Distant Valhalla". This way I feel better fits his endless journey in search of a meaningful struggle...

  7. #5747
    夜魔 Nightmare sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Weird... his FC showed up for me a few moments ago but when I refreshed the page it went blank again. You sure you uploaded it from Imgur properly?
    Well since I am too much of an idiot to know what an Imgur is... I am looking into it. Sorry, but thank you for notifying me.

  8. #5748
    Deadass Baka Ail Don's Avatar
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    "Master? No, I don't think we'll be having that kind of relationship, Kumuhana."
    Source: http://genzoman.deviantart.com/art/Pele-196894047
    Class: Berserker
    Alternate Class: Lancer, Rider
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Origin: Folklore
    Region: Hawaii
    Epithet: She Who Devours The Earth

    Parameters
    Strength: A
    Endurance: A
    Agility: D
    Mana: EX
    Luck: C
    NP: A+


    Height/Weight: N/A
    Gender: Female
    Likes: Her sisters, holua, fighting
    Dislikes: Everything really
    Talents: Rage
    Natural enemy: Na-maka-o-ka-hai

    Class Skills:

    Mad Enhancement: (EX)
    Mad Enhancement is the Class Skill that characterizes a Berserker, raising basic parameters in exchange of hindering mental capacities. In some cases, it also affects and/or seals away some techniques, Personal Skills and Noble Phantasms.

    Parameters are Ranked-Up, but nothing seems to be inherently changed about Berserker’s disposition or mental state. Because she is one who embodies an extremely violent and unpredictable force of nature, Berserker is simply the Class that suits her the most naturally. However, that’s not to say that retaining insight means her personality is any more pleasant.

    Personal Skills:

    Kupua Form: (A)
    Kupua are a race of semi-divine superhumans appearing in Hawaiian mythology. While usually equated to the likes of demigods and actual gods--especially by the Western visitors to Polynesia who rationalized the kupua belief system to fit within their own mythos--kupua are more closely related to the Tuatha De Dannan of Ireland; Ancient superhumans who more or less function as gods would. Hawaiian myths and legends abound with such characters. They are traditionally described as monsters having the power of appearing in different kinds of bodies. They usually have cruel and vindictive characters and are ready to destroy and devour any persons they can catch. There are, however, many kupuas of kindly spirit who give watchful care to the members of their own families.

    While inherently transformative in nature, Kupua Form establishes that one is a perfected quasi-divine being since birth. A composite Skill that comprises Divinity (which is always treated as Rank E), prevents the body from growth, and prevents the figure from (unintentional) change no matter how many calories are consumed.

    Although human in appearance, kupua share many metaphysical and physical attributes with the element or aspects they preside over. In Berserker’s case, her body has taken on some of the attributes of molten lava. Her fists are hard when the lava cools. Wherever she walks, the ground splits and lava flows. The sea and water are a deadly allergy to her, yet it’s only the combination of these two elements that realize Berserker’s full potential.

    Demonic Mistress of the State: (A+)

    A variant Skill of Demonic Defender of the State, privy only to those heroes and spirits with authority over the creation of the land itself. A Skill that could be considered one step “to the side” of the Caster Class Skill Territory Creation, it allows for the terraforming of land that contains leylines in order to reinforce one’s capabilities as a territory spirit.

    Thus, as the Heroic Spirit in charge of expanding the islands of Hawaii through her ever-spewing lava, the land upon which she walks with this Skill active will eventually turn into a familiar volcanic wasteland. Because of her conceptual authority, the growth of the lava fields is inexhaustible unless stopped by an outside force. Incidentally, this technique destroys the leylines already in place--forcing them to change into lava veins--but it doesn’t seem to have any adverse effect on Berserker. However, if it were to rain enough on the newly changed land, it’s quite possible that the leylines will return, more potent and even more numerous than before. This might cause some unintended consequences in Berserker’s personality, however...

    Shapeshift: (C)
    Shapeshift is a Skill that refers to both borrowing bodies and appearance change. It is a method used by the millenary spirits of foxes and badgers of China that are put on par with Tamamo-no-Mae. It is also one of the powers of a kupua.

    While it’s implied that Berserker possesses the full range of shapeshifting abilities belonging to the kupua, she’s made little--or rather simplistic--use of it throughout her life. An obvious choice for a Skill to be nerfed by Mad Enhancement, Berserker is nonetheless capable of turning into all manner of people, as well as certain species of plants and animals.

    Battle Continuation: (A+)

    Battle Continuation is a Skill that allows for the continuation of combat after sustaining mortal wounds. It will also reduce mortality rate from injury. This Skill represents the ability to survive and/or the mentality of one who doesn't know when to give up, consisting of one's strength of vitality in predicaments. It is also one of the powers of a vampire. The best result is achieved when a resilient body is combined with this Skill.

    Even after being torn into pieces by her sister--her severed ribs becoming a famous Hawaiian landmark, for example--Berserker was still able to return to battle after she had been thought dead. Expounding on the Skill’s concept of a resilient body, it was Berserker’s lava-like form that kept her from dying. Can continue fighting even with wounds that place them on the verge of death. An ability representing the strong will to stay alive on the battlefield. It is probable that she will not completely die so long as one ember still burns within her.

    Noble Phantasm
    Kilauea
    Spread Far, Star of the Pacific

    (Anti-Army, A+)
    The summits of the five volcanoes of Hawaii are revered as sacred mountains, with Kilauea perhaps beings the most famous. Hawaiians associated elements of their natural environment with particular deities. In Hawaiian mythology, the sky father Wākea marries the earth mother Papa, giving birth to the Hawaiian Islands. Kīlauea itself means "spewing" or "much spreading" in Hawaiian, referencing its high state of activity, and in Hawaiian mythology Kīlauea is the body of the Berserker. It is here that the conflict between Berserker and the rain god Kamapuaʻa was centered; Halemaʻumaʻu, "House of the ʻamaʻumaʻu fern", derives its name from the struggle between the two beings. Kamapuaʻa, hard-pressed by Berserker's ability to make lava spout from the ground at will, covered the feature, a favorite residence of the goddess, with fern fronds. Choked by trapped smoke, Berserker emerged. Realizing that each could threaten the other with destruction, the others gods called a draw and divided the island between them, splitting the Big Island between them.

    A shield volcano that hasn’t once gone dormant in recent history, Kilauea is still believed to be home to Berserker to this day. A Noble Phantasm that may only be employed inside the land Berserker previously claimed through Demonic Mistress, it expands on the legend of Berserker visiting Hawaii from a foreign land and replacing the previous volcano deity, Ai Laau. As a mark of her authority over volcanos and Kilauea in general, Berserker is thus able to recreate the caldera of the famous volcano that she calls home.
    But what’s a volcano without an eruption? Upon activation, Kilauea does exactly that. Sending thousands of “fiery spears” high into the atmosphere that crash down upon anything that stands before them with zero mercy, exemplifying the cold passion of the volcano.

    While Kilauea is blisteringly destructive, its usage will drain all of the nearby lava veins eventually, leaving Berserker to recreate the caldera--or simply dig deeper into the earth--if she wishes to use it again. She is also forced to remain inside the caldera during the eruption, as it would be lacking power bordering on complete uselessness without her presence.

    Hoino-Ana-O-Ka-Pohaku
    Leave No Trace

    (Anti-Unit, D)
    A constantly active type Noble Phantasm that once again is only available within land marked by Demonic Mistress. Hoino-Ana-O-Ka-Pohaku is the belief that anything natively Hawaiian, such as sand, rock, or pumice, will effect bad luck on whoever takes it away from Hawaii.

    One version about the legend's genesis is this: a disgruntled park ranger, angry at the number of rocks that were being taken from the islands by visitors, said that Berserker would curse them with bad luck should they take anything. Another version often told is that bus drivers, tired of the dirt and grime brought on their buses by the tourists' collection of rocks, started the story at the beginning of each tour to discourage the rock collecting.

    The myth has caught on, told as if it were an original Hawaiian taboo, and every year countless tourists send these back in order to escape the awful luck that Berserker has caused them.

    Thus if the soil terraformed by Demonic Mistress is disturbed or brought outside of the Skill’s range, the victim’s luck will quickly begin to slide to E. It’s present even on “drained” land that Berserker had previously used Kilauea on, leaving a nice surprise even after she’s forced to relocate. It can be negated by replacing the rock within the claimed territory.


    Lore

    Pele is the kupua of volcanoes, fire, lightning, passion, rage, and plenty of other very destructive aspects of nature. Otherwise known as ka wahine ai honua, the woman who devours the land, Pele’s home is believed to be Halemaumau crater at the summit of Kilauea, one of the world’s most active volcanoes. However, all of Hawaii lays the setting for her stories, so that to this day, any volcanic eruption in Hawaii is attributed to Pele’s longing to be with her true love.
    Pele is renowned for her passionate and fiery temperament and many people who visit the islands will hear stories of her power and destruction. One of six daughters and seven sons born to Haumea (an ancient Earth goddess) and Kane Milohai (the creator of the sky, earth and upper heavens), Pele’s siblings include Kane Milohai, Kamohoalii, Namaka as well as 13 sisters with the same name – Hiiaka.

    There are as many versions of how Madame Pele came to Hawaii as there are lava rocks on Hawaii Island. One common legend says that Pele – who was born in Honua-Mea in Tahiti — was sent away by her father because of her difficult temper and for seducing her sister, Namakaokahai’s, husband. She found her way to the Hawaiian Islands where legend after legend bubbled up around her countless lovers, infidelities and feuds and heated outbursts.
    Another well-known story spins a web that Pele’s older brother Kamohoalii (the king of sharks) provided Pele with a large canoe which she and her brothers took and sailed away with – eventually coming to Hawaii. When she made landfall in the islands it was on Kauai, where she was attacked by her sister Namakaokahai and left for dead. According to legend she was able to recover and escaped to Oahu where she dug fire pits, including the crater today called Diamond Head. She traveled through the island chain to Molokai and on to Maui where she is said to have made Haleakala volcano.

    Upon discovering Pele had survived, Namakaokahai traveled to Maui and the two engaged in an epic battle near Hana, where Pele was torn apart by her sister and became a god, finding a home on Mauna Kea on Hawaii Island. There she dug her final fire pit, the Halemaumau Crater at the summit of Kilauea, where many believe she resides to this day.
    And yet another tale tells that Pele was married for a short — and violent — time to Kamapuaa, the god of water. This story says that Pele rerouted Kamapuaa from their home in Helemaumau and angrily chased him, with rivers of lava, into the Pacific Ocean. This story is meant to symbolize the violent and explosive experience of a hydrovolcanic eruption, though Hawaiian eruptions are much more peaceful. Pele’s loyal followers believe that the frequent eruptions of lava on Kilauea is a reminder that Pele is alive and still at home here.

  9. #5749
    夜魔 Nightmare sherlock1110's Avatar
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    That's awesome! You've done really good formatting alongside a heroic spirit befitting of the mythological character! Also that NP is far more of an expressive interpretation of how a berserker type deity would work, thereby combining both the instantaneous, active wrath of force but also the slower more grudge style hatred.

  10. #5750
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skull View Post
    Lucius Tiberius
    You can still play with what you have to go by. There's enough. If I were doing it, I'd make him Geoffrey of Monmouth in disguise.

  11. #5751
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    =Berserker=



    Artist:http://decolanlan.tumblr.com/

    Name: Helgi Hundingsbane Volsunga “The Hero-Hearted”
    Title: Slayer of Hounds
    Other classes: Saber, Rider
    Height/Weight: 197 cm / 98 kg
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Chaotic Good
    Place of Origin: Iceland (Saga of the Völsungs)

    Theme: At the Beginning

    Parameters:

    Strength: A
    Endurance: B+
    Agility: D
    Mana: B
    Luck: C

    Class Skill(s):

    - Riding (A):
    one can ride all animals and any vehicles with exceptional expertise, save for beasts of phantasmal, divine, and dragon origin.

    Vigblær is the name of his horse.

    - Magic Resistance (B):
    Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for a Servant to be affected.

    Personal Skill(s):

    - Divinity (C+):
    the strength of one’s god-like nature. The more god blood flowing in the veins, the higher the rank.

    Saber was a descendant of a god and when he died was personally granted a seat in the afterlife.

    - Charisma (B-):
    the innate ability to lead an army.

    The majority of Saber’s armies were gifted to him by others, and fought out of payment or fear of becoming a part of his body-count.

    - Ultra-Violence (A):
    the longer this Servant participates in combat, the greater their fervor for violence grows.

    All attacks by Saber consume more and more of his opponent’s mana while replenishing and increasing his own.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    - Again-Walker (C, Anti-Personnel):
    when Saber is struck down, he will rise again for a total of three times. Though, with each death, his body grows weaker and his personality crumbles until, on the final life, he is just a shadow of his former self.

    The representation of his various reincarnations, all stats are lowered by one subsequently. Furthermore, the way in which to kill him must be different every time, otherwise he cannot die again.
    Last edited by Historia; April 19th, 2018 at 03:37 PM.

  12. #5752
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    @Pele. That's a fine sheet.
    I'm a little jealous I didn't think to make a Hawaiian Servant myself, then I could finally use my knowledge of the Hawaiian language rather than it just collecting dust in my brain. ;P

    Quote Originally Posted by Ymir View Post
    You can still play with what you have to go by. There's enough. If I were doing it, I'd make him Geoffrey of Monmouth in disguise.
    True. I was perhaps going to base it on the theory that he was meant to represent the Emperor "Glycerius", whose name was commonly misspelt as "Lucerius" and Geoffrey possibly continued the trend by making it "Lucius".

    But whatever I plan to do. I'm definitely fired up to give a crack at it.

  13. #5753
    Deadass Baka Ail Don's Avatar
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    Are you from the island or is there a place that actually teaches the language? I don't think I've ever heard of Hawaiian language classes, but that sounds cool.

    Is Geoffrey the most OP literary Caster possible.

  14. #5754
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ail Don View Post
    Are you from the island or is there a place that actually teaches the language? I don't think I've ever heard of Hawaiian language classes, but that sounds cool.
    Haha, sadly no. I am not from Hawaii, although I would love to go there one day. It was just one of those things where I just happened to learn it over a Summer.

    As for Geoffrey, I probably wouldn't use that angle in my sheet personally since I already kinda did that in my Rothbart sheet with the heavy implications that he was the dethroned Ludwig II in disguise.

  15. #5755
    夜魔 Nightmare sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Servant Rider:

    Servant Identity

    True Name: Tam O Shanter

    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral



    Strength- C (A)
    Agility- B (A)
    Endurance- B (A)
    Mana- C (A)
    Luck- B (A)
    NP- B+

    Appearance:

    Really should be missing a tail though

    Servant Identity

    Personality: Rider, haunted by his past experiences, is cursed by the foolhardiness and lust that lead to him bringing down the famous close shave that marked him mentally and his horse more physically. Rider wishes to end the Holy Grail War as soon as possible, preferably with himself winning but his dedication towards the Grail is almost certainly outmatched by other Servants. Rider's relationship to his notably mute, attractive companion is silent, cold and businesslike, he wants as rid of her as quickly as possible despite his licentious nature as she has proven to be more of a nightmare than his dear wife. His weapon of choice is a large sturdy club, but this will change under the effects of his Noble Phantasm.

    He is the kind of man to swiftly move from one extreme to another, in other words very immature. Because of this he is attempting to suppress his normal extroverted nature as he believes this will aid in returning to his usual life. So while he acts cold "mature" (In his own eyes), aloof and grave, it is clear that his usual personality is a boisterous and immoral man, hedonistic in the more mundane way when compared to others but still dangerously self-obsessed in his actions.

    Likes: Sex (A simple man), Beer, Short Skirts and his own idea of a good time
    Dislikes: Serious moral discussion, guilt, auld Nick
    Talents: No good
    Natural Enemies: Good looking women, His Wife, himself



    Class Skills:

    Riding (B+) - At this rank almost any vehicles can be ridden with proficiency and almost natural expertise, though high-ranking celestial beings are out of reach Rider is especially suited to riding his horse (And shows particular skill at running away in these circumstances)

    Magic Resistance (D) - Rider was not particularly famed for his endurance to magic, but he did escape the forces of hell and as such has particular resistance to magic from such sources, and a cancellation of low-level magecraft

    Personal Skills
    :

    Beauty of Trouble with Women (A) - Rider partially suppresses this though it becomes more apparent through use of his Noble Phantasms, Rider can become easily distracted by good-looking women or really any at all.

    Noble Phantasms


    Inspiring bold John Barleycorn! - Wi' usquabae, we'll face the devil! (C, Support): Rider's life and general personality could be described as little more than out of control. Fueled by alcohol, lust and a general lack of awareness he interrupted the forces of hell in life, this aspect of his character is materialized through this constantly active Noble Phantasm.

    Rider's presence exerts a reckless influence on those around him, having an alcoholic stimulating effect that becomes more potent the more people are affected by it, if Rider was in a city amongst a large crowd of people anarchy would break loose. This Noble Phantasm affects him as well, showing more of his naturally chaotic personality that he is attempting to hide and suppress. It turns almost any situation into a bar-fight and as such Rider avoids others during the Grail War, Rider's companion is not affected and does not affect this Noble Phantasm.

    Weel done, Cutty-Sark! - And in an instant all was dark (B, Support): While his first NP is a clear link to himself in the poem, Rider's second NP is more supportive but is due to an association of himself and dark forces. Rider can siphon energy from his companion (who should be rightfully deduced by now to be Cutty-Sark) giving himself access to unholy power. This raises his stats (Up to an A rank once all his companion's power is drained), reveals more of his actual personality, and transfigures him and his horse eventually into one being, Auld Nick. In this state he becomes an agent of True Chaos, the only rationale in his actions being victory in the Holy Grail War, fighting with his fists and hooves.

    Kirk-Alloway was drawing nigh - Where ghaists and houlets nightly cry (B, Anti-Army): While this NP can only be activated in Rider's "transfigured" state it is his most powerful NP and requires far more mana than he normally has access to, as well as being limited to a period of one night. Calling upon his demonic tale, Rider erects from out of the darkness of night Kirk Alloway of the poem, a run-down, broken Church. From within seeps a bright, red light and out of it flies many minor demonic creatures. While it begins with mere imps and suchlike appearing from the Church, at the end of a full night the spirits of Warlocks and Witches will appear to support Rider in the Grail War. Rider himself gains a parameter boost while within the grounds of "his fortress", becoming an almost unstoppable foe with Berserker levels of raw strength. However, due to nightly activation timing it is unlikely Rider would even use this Noble Phantasm in a fight.



    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Thank you for persevering with yet another one of my awful creations, this time I had to resist going for all the edge and instead only managed to include about 50% edge in the final product. Rider is once again a Servant many have probably done better than me, and I was really restricted by the fact that I couldn't find an appropriate image to use. About three quarters of these sheets are feedback though, so anything would help . Sorry to be a bother.

    Pivix Link:
    https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust....st_id=60662809

  16. #5756
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Tam O' Shanter: If you're concerned about your sheets, here's several things I would suggest to improve this sheet:

    First, maybe change the header of either one of the two 'Servant Identities' section, since two sections having the same name can be pretty confusing.

    Second, Maybe add a little Background for him, since some people might not know the lore/origins of the Servant.

    Third, Faceclaims aren't the most important thing in the making of a Servant sheet, so it doesn't have to fit every criteria for the Servant.

    This one is a more personal nitpick, but maybe add at least one more personal Skill for Shanter, so it'll be more fleshed out.
    ---

    Really, the NP you make are pretty creative, so the sheets you made aren't "awful creations." So don't fret and take all the time you need in making the sheets!

  17. #5757
    夜魔 Nightmare sherlock1110's Avatar
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    Thank you... I'm really bad with writing so it takes quite a bit of time but thank you for your support. Thanks for pointing out that people might not know about the story... I kind of grew up on it so I made a stupid assumption sorry

  18. #5758
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    "Oh my children, my children! Please, please come back to me! Please forgive me!"

    Berserker
    La Llorona




    Alignment: Neutral Insane
    STR: C
    END: C
    AGI: B
    MAG: B
    LUCK: E-
    NP: C

    Class Skills

    Mad Enhancement (EX): The Class Skill that characterizes a Berserker, raising basic parameters in exchange of hindering mental capacities. In some cases, it also affects and/or seals away some techniques, Personal Skills and Noble Phantasms. All parameters are Ranked-Up, but she is deprived of most reason. Even when under Mad Enhancement, she can hold a conversation, but she will pay no attention to words addressed to her, and will just cry out for her children. Communication is theoretically possible but practically improbable.

    Personal Skills

    Dreams of the Beyond (A): The mindset of one who possesses an impossible dream, which they will never stop pursuing. The thoughts of that which once was but will never be again drives La Llorona and so long as these images are with her, her parameters will be ranked up. Falling into despair or abandoning her dream will strip away her buffs, even those gifted by Mad Enhancement. In this respect, attacks that target the psyche are especially devastating against her.

    Curse of Misfortune (C): The aura possessed by one who is rumoured to bring bad luck to others. It is whispered in her legends that glimpsing La Llorona is a harbinger of terrible misfortune or even death. Thus, all Luck parameters in her vicinity are reduced to absolute minimum, even her own. A double-edged sword of a skill.

    Imaginary Numbers (D-): The magical affinity of Sakura Matou, Berserker’s host body. A power highly effective against spiritual beings, but not so potent against those whose body is not made from Ether. When the Matou clan restraining spells are used along with this, it is possible to imprison and skewer the target into a separate dimension composed entirely of shadows. Though useful in a conflict of Servants, La Llorona has no skill in wielding this ability, almost using it out of instinct. Her unfamiliarity and unwillingness to learn about it have weakened this ability considerably.

    Noble Phantasm

    La Llorona
    Tears of the Weeping Woman


    Anti-Unit, C: The prayers and lamentations of La Llorona combined with the curse that was placed on her unite to form this Noble Phantasm. Taking the form of water, the almost-sentient curse, directed by La Llorona’s will, seeks out children to ensnare and drown, forever re-enacting her crime. Normally taking the form of a shower of rain, when directed to attack, the water will shape itself into a river in flood, sweeping away obstructions, or a sphere to entrap and drown people. La Llorona can use pools of water as gates to swiftly travel between locations, and can walk on the water’s surface. A cruel ability who’s only purpose is to drown.


    Lore
    Likes: Her children
    Dislikes: Her children
    Talents: Unknown
    Natural Enemy: Parvati

    The main figure of an eponymous Mexican ghost story, La Llorona is a beautiful woman who drowned her children in a river in a fit of rage and jealousy when her husband abandoned her. Instantly consumed with remorse, she ran down the riverbank calling out for her children to come back. From that day on she would wander the riverbank, crying for her children, cursed to never rest until she had found them. She is something of a boogeyman, and mothers will warn their children not to go out after dark lest they get taken by La Llorona.

    As a weak Heroic Spirit, she is an existence closer to a phantom. As such she has been summoned as a Pseudo-Servant, possessing Sakura Matou, to compensate for her weakness, however she has completely suppressed Sakura's ego. She has no interest in fighting, but all those who interfere with her search are brutally killed by her. Her complete loss of self and sanity coupled with her disinterest in everything means she has no real relationships with others. Left to her own devices, she will abduct and drown children, in an attempt to bring back her own. Her host's influence means she may shift her murderous intentions to Sakura's loved ones instead.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  19. #5759
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    Didn't use Aoi. 0/10, try again.

  20. #5760
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daneel Rush View Post
    Didn't use Aoi. 0/10, try again.
    I'm still waiting for Pseudo-Servant Genderbent Kariya.

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