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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #9321
    夜魔 Nightmare EVA-Saiyajin's Avatar
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    Yet another very nicely done Daneel Servant profile.

  2. #9322
    I'm really digging this one, Daneel. Especially how it fits together with Chi You's.

  3. #9323
    夜魔 Nightmare EVA-Saiyajin's Avatar
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    You know, I think maybe some manner of Skill that revolves around the idea of "Conquest" would really fit. Kind of like a cross between Territory Creation and Demonic Defender of the State. There are many, many, many people who could qualify as Heroic Spirits who were well known not for (or at least, largely not for) their personal accomplishments, but for their accomplishments with their armies. A Skill revolving around "conquest" would make perfect sense (Iskander, for one, would be one of those who definitely qualifies for it), and it would probably lead to greater strategy in Grail Wars.

    Maybe it could be something like, fulfill certain conditions (like Vlad!Apocrophya planting his lances into Leylines in an area) and an area becomes "conquered", providing certain benefits. Of course, territory that is conquered can also be "ligerated" or conquered in turn, so maybe some sort of statue or icon or building has to be "conquered" or destroyed in order to remove the conquered land from the Servant who has conquered it, making it a useful Skill depending on the level, but like in all wars, not permament or invincible (excepting synergy with certain other Skills or potential Noble Phantasms of course)
    Last edited by EVA-Saiyajin; August 16th, 2014 at 06:12 PM.

  4. #9324
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    Background
    What does a Heroic Spirit make?

    Most people would agree that the Throne of Heroes welcomes those who have achieved great things. Those whose lives and deeds have made a definite difference in the course of humanity’s—or the planet’s—history. Those who achieved that which by any means should have been beyond the capabilities of a single individual. Truly, the worth of any living being rests on his legacy: that which he leaves behind on his passing. Whether it is a great work of art, a marvelous invention, a critical scientific discovery, a reputation in the battlefield; that which shows to be so amazing, so awesome it can only be described as supernatural. That is the kind of brand that earns one a place in the Throne.

    How about we stop, then, and take a look at how those awesome feats were achieved? Let us do so through this simple example: the story of perhaps the most fortunate man in the world, who achieved incomparable greatness by almost no merit of his own. But perhaps that is an unfair thing to say about Sargon of Akkad. After all, it does take more than memorizing and properly reciting the script to create a truly legendary theatrical performance. For it can be said that Sargon of Akkad’s life, from beginning to end, was a masterful performance as per the script of the gods who showered him with their favor.

    The gods needed a new envoy; a new script for humankind was necessary after the failure that was Uruk. They were fortunate that those who came after Gilgamesh could in no way match his immensity and thus could not protect the city-state from its many, properly god-fearing rivals. Uruk was already a hopeless vestige of its golden self by the time the last of Gilgamesh’s dynasty, the homunculus Lugal-Kitun, was slain in battle against the rapacious Meshanepada of Ur, who was clad in the myriad blessings of the spiteful gods. Rulership was transferred to Ur. This was a short-lived success for the gods, though; the example set by the Golden King was simply too powerful, too dazzling, too easily misunderstood. Each and every single ruler that followed him interpreted Gilgamesh’s idea of kingship into making the king into a visible object of worship himself, in contrast to the distant, unfathomable gods. Thus, a number of dynasties came and went as the gods gave and took their favor from ruler to ruler and from city to city. At the time of the birth of the one who would be immortalized as “Sargon”, the kingship was back in Uruk, in the hands of Lugal-Zage-Si. This Lugal-Zage-Si was the ruler of a vast extension of land from the Mediterranean to the Persian Gulf, but Sargon has stolen that claim and to this day is often credited with the first true empire in history.

    The divine beings decided that their mistake was making Gilgamesh too powerful: even without their favor, his base stats were already far beyond the common rabble—he had too much to begin with, so he put himself first. This time, they would do better: their envoy would be the plainest, most ordinary of human beings, who would only be able to do the impossible with whatever powers and blessings they chose to bestow on him. And most importantly, it would be a man who wholeheartedly agreed to do nothing above and beyond what was expected of him; a man whose every single thought and action went according to their tune. They arranged for such a man to exist, by making a certain La’ibum abandon his baby boy in a reed basket floating downriver. They led a certain gardener with recorded name Akki to find the baby and raise him in humility as his own. While the young Sargon lived a simple life, they whispered in his ears and appeared in his dreams, pushing him to crave for another life, to thirst for prestige and power. They told him what to do and what to say to climb the social ladder until he became the cup-bearer of the king of Kish, Ur-Zababa. They put fear of Sargon in the king’s heart, and they protected Sargon from Ur-Zababa’s attempts at killing him. They told Sargon to betray his lord to the superior Lugal-Zage-Si and held Sargon’s unsteady hand as he sunk his blade in the gut of his former liege. They told him when the time was ripe to announce himself to the world as the chosen and beloved of the gods—for they loved him, truly, in the same way a loyal, obedient dog is loved—and gave strength to his legs and his voice as he led the army of the people through the gates of Uruk. When the armies of the many provinces of Lugal-Zage-Si gathered before their lord and surrounded the occupied Uruk, they granted Sargon command over many Noble Phantasms and the magical might to wield them and decimate the allied forces. They crowned him “anointed priest of An” and “great ensi of Enlil”, and Inanna herself granted him the honor of finding succor on her lap.

    An Elegy
    Sargon the Great! You plundered the Edubba and claimed the divine treasures of Zababa for yourself! You, who subjugated the Fertile Crescent and secured safe trade routes from the Taurus Mountains to heavenly Dilmun! The Cedar Forests Gilgamesh once explored, you claimed for yourself! You defended the empire from the pretentious kings of Susiana, Kazalla and Purushanda! Your ships explored both the eastern Mediterranean and the Indian Sea! You brought the people together under a single language! You sent the superior people of Akkad to rule over your many provinces and vassals! You destroyed every record of former rulers that crossed your mighty gaze! You are the first and the only, the true chosen of the gods! The one truly deserving of kingship! It was you, great Sargon, who reminded the world that kingship was for the gods to give; that humanity’s power was not its own!

    Sargon, oh truly great Sargon! You indeed put the world in its rightful place!

    How can we not lament, then, that your empire was swallowed by rebellion and strife the moment you breathed your last? That your heir, mighty Manishtushu, would die a fool’s death, stabbed in the back by his own brother and successor, the fool Rimush? That even your fair and mighty daughter, incomparable Enheduanna, could not stop corruption and blasphemy to plague the lands?

    Oh, but it was you, Sargon, who welcomed that daughter of yours back into the walls of Akkad when she returned from being defiled and expelled from the giparu by the rebellious Lugal-Ane! It was you, Sargon, who let that one who called herself the manifestation of Inanna into the walls of your city! Sargon, you pitiful fool, there was nothing remotely holy in your daughter’s heart! Oh, great Sargon, that woman, that unholy Inanna, was the original Trojan horse!

    Woe, great woe, oh mighty Sargon! It was you! You brought doom to your empire!

    …oh well, even if you died a peaceful death, from the very beginning it was obvious there was no way for that story to have a happy ending.

    Stats
    SARGON OF AKKAD
    Servant: Saber

    Gender: Male
    Height: 174 cm
    Weight: 69 kg

    Alignment: Lawful Good

    Strength C
    Endurance B
    Agility C
    Magic A*
    Luck EX*
    Noble Phantasm A
    * Modified by a Personal Skill (see below)

    Class Skills:
    * Magic Resistance: Grants protections against magical effects.
    B – Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for him to be affected. Should he by whatever reason lose access to his Protection of the Pantheon Skill, the rank of this Skill drops to D.
    * Riding: Expertise to ride animals and vehicles.
    A+ – Creatures on the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast can be used as mounts, but only those belonging to the ancient Mesopotamian tradition. In spite of the limitation, Sargon should be able to claim the Rider container as well. However, should he by whatever reason lose access to his Protection of the Pantheon Skill, the rank of this Skill drops to A.

    Personal Skills:
    * Divine Kingship: The right of kingship over humankind invested upon the chosen ruler by the gods. There are countless gods with just as countless idiosyncrasies, so no two bearers of this Skill will enjoy the same benefit from it.
    A++ – Grants the right to wield any and all Noble Phantasms connected to ancient Mesopotamian religion and provides a boost to the Servant’s Magic Parameter. For the purpose of resolving supernatural effects, Sargon is treated as if possessing Divinity Rank B, but only if this would be convenient to him. Should he by whatever reason lose access to his Protection of the Pantheon Skill, he loses the benefits of this Skill as well (his Magic Parameter would drop to C-rank).
    * Eye of the Mind (True): A heightened capacity for observation, refined through experience.
    D – A strong grasp of threatening scenarios and how to overcome them without harm to himself. The sixth sense of one who “miraculously” escaped many attempts against his life. Among his Skills, the single one not bound to divine benediction.
    * Protection of the Pantheon: A blessing from Divine Spirits. Identical in effect to Protection of the Fairies, it provides a bonus to one’s Luck parameter in dangerous situations. An ultra-rare Skill—the disconnection between gods and mankind which ended the Age of Gods should have by all means rendered such covenants completely powerless.
    EX – The overwhelming aegis of the former Divine Spirits who favored him since the moment he was born and guided his actions towards success. As long as an effect allows a Luck-check to defend against it, Sargon is entitled to make the check and he automatically succeeds at that check. Bonus effect of enhancing Magic Resistance (see above).

    Noble Phantasms
    Patar Mīšarim
    The Privilege of One
    (Blade of Justice)
    Type
    : Anti-Unit
    Rank: D
    Range: 0
    Maximum number of targets: 1 object

    The foremost embodiment of Sargon’s divine investiture and his true Noble Phantasm. Sargon’s legend is engraved in the memory of the world as that of one much loved and favored by the gods, and it was their favor which anointed him as the one chosen to become emperor of all four directions. The highest affection and the highest privilege; it comes the obvious conclusion that such blessings could not possibly be shared with anybody else. Rather than a weapon, this Noble Phantasm is a self-enforcing rule. It might not even be appropriate to call it a Noble Phantasm: Sargon is merely a conduit; the recipient of an ancient covenant the gods no longer care about. Its invocation merely imbues a “law” into whatever weapon Sargon wishes to use as the symbol of his right of kingship. A successful strike with this medium enforces the application of the ancient rule which invested Sargon with the exclusive right of divine favor.

    All boons, gifts and blessings from Nature Spirits (including Divine Spirits no matter their origin) affecting the target of the attack are nullified. In its effect it is merciless and unstoppable; there is no defense or saving throw against the imposition of Sargon’s law other that avoiding being struck by the law’s medium in the first place. While this is capable of temporarily ceasing the effects of spells and Skills, it has no effect on Noble Phantasms. The effect of Patar Mīšarim persists until the next sunrise following Sargon’s destruction.

    Šarur
    Divine Hand of Castigation

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: C
    Range: 1
    Maximum number of targets: 1 person

    One of the “Seven Well-Crafted Weapons of Zababa”, divine constructs associated with the War God of Kish and the traditional Noble Phantasms of that city’s kings. Not to be confused with its homonymous and absolutely superior predecessor, the heroic mace of the divine champion, Ninurta. According to tradition, these Seven Weapons were to remain in the Edubba, one of Zababa’s temples, and could only be taken out with the god’s permission. The gods who favored Sargon had already betrayed Kish, and thus its king could not use these mighty weapons against the former cup-bearer.

    “Smasher of Thousands” It is an ostentatiously beautiful mace of gold, copper and iron, crown with a ring of aquamarine stones near its top end. The mace was the traditional symbol of martial might, and this most gaudy of maces naturally represented the supreme might of the war god. In combat it is engulfed by a torrent of magically-contained spiraling winds; a miniature tornado which may stretch as long as a meter beyond the length of the mace, effectively becoming a “sword” of wind.

    However, its fate as a weapon—plundered by Sargon, later returned to Kish by a weak and unworthy dynasty, and finally forgotten—has diminished its radiance together with its rank. Sargon’s divine privilege, in the form of the Divine Kingship Skill, allows him to release a greater expression of this divine Noble Phantasm’s power.

    Imhul Šarura
    My Judgment from Here to the Sun-kissed Horizon
    (Destructive Wind of Sharur)
    Type
    : Anti-Army
    Rank: A
    Range: 1-50
    Maximum number of targets: 600 people

    The released form of Sharur which Sargon may unleash as his most powerful Noble Phantasm. Raising the mace over his head and pointing to the sky, a storm brews and begins to ascend from the space around him. The small blade of swirling winds becomes a column of cyclonic rage that stretches high towards the clouds—a colossal sword of which the divine mace is but the handle. When Sargon then lowers the mace, the cylinder of furious winds moves as if it were a single, solid object; from a vertical column of ascending air to a horizontal cyclone of advancing razor winds.

    While its origin and appearance are clearly magical, the damaging effect itself is a purely physical phenomenon: those caught in the cyclone are buffeted by powerful winds and cut into pieces by microscopic particles in the air moving at tremendous speed. It is a simple and blunt technique in its lethality, but then again most Noble Phantasms of that era were very much like that.

    Keywords
    Divine Kingship – Sargon’s privilege as a sovereign to wield the divine treasures of ancient Mesopotamia. The knowledge of wielding such divine tools comes itself from the greater records of the world and its gods, and it is thus separate from Sargon’s own cognition. In other words, “he doesn’t know how to use them, but he uses them nonetheless.” An awfully convenient power, although it means Master hoping Sargon to act as a source of ancient, divine mystical knowledge will be sorely disappointed. Note that the Skill grants only the capability, not ownership or even access to such artifacts.

    It needs not be said that
    Ea
    Sword of Rupture
    is not within the purview of this Skill. Despite its name it predates all gods and pantheons. It allowed the purest, most pristine of souls to do only so much as holding it, and there is only one being in this world who could possibly wield it.

    On a side note, based on his stats it should in no way be possible for Sargon to be summoned in the Saber Class. This result might be the consequence of his exaggerated fame, the unique nature of Šarur plus the effect of this greatly-ambiguous Skill. Well, he did develop a bit of an ego in life.

    Protection of the Pantheon
    – The blessing of the Sumerian pantheon which persists even to the present time despite the definite separation between such primordial gods and humankind. Rather than an active protection, it is currently a contingent algorithm that executes auspicious interruptions of the World’s natural systems. The Mesopotamian gods could not care less about Heroic Spirit Sargon, but it is precisely because “they do not care” that they have not bothered taking back the many gifts they lavished him with.

    Seven Well-Crafted Weapons of ZababaIgalimma, Šulšagana, Šarur, Šargaz, Miṭṭu, Lúḫuša and Ētanē Itęšu. Their names were immortalized by an unknown scribe apprentice from the temple of Nabű ša ḫarę at Babylon, and it is thanks to him or her that their legend was not consigned to oblivion. These Divine Constructs were gifts from the war god Zababa to Kish, the city he was patron of. Apparently they were more often used for religious ceremonies than for actual combat.

    Note that at least four of those names are connected with the Sumerian deity, Ninurta. This is to be expected: the syncretization of the local Sumerian, Semitic, Ugaritic and Hurrian pantheons that took place in Mesopotamia from as early as First Dynasty of Uruk eventually turned both Zababa and Ningirsu into “aspects” or “manifestations” of the principal male war god of the region, Ninurta. It is likely that the Elamite pantheon was also part of the mishmash, but Ashurbanipal of Assyria made sure nobody will ever know.

    A Brief Note on the Spelling of Ancient Mesopotamian Words
    After much pondering on this matter I have decided to use phonetic-transcription for all Sumerian and Akkadian words and sentences from now on. This obeys solely aesthetic reasons—I prefer writing Igalimma instead of Ig-Alim and Šulšagana instead of Šul-šŕ-a-ga (if anything, this just taught you the canon material does not follow any particular convention). Simple transliteration of the original names bothers me for a number of reasons: 1) I feel awkward every time I write words and skip the determinatives (like I did two sentences above); 2) I think it looks ugly what with all the dashes in between symbols; and 3) it often happens that the transliteration does not give enough hints as to how the words (we believe) would be pronounced (see “Šul-šŕ-a-ga” above). The methods and rules of transliteration are very useful for studying and researching the languages, but they don’t look so good when christening the super special awesome gear of Nasuverse Servants.

    Of course, using phonetic transcription has its own problems. For example, to this date (as far as I know) the experts don’t agree in a pronunciation for the last of Zababa’s Seven Weapons, de-ta-ni-ús-sa.du-šú. “Ētanēitęšu” is just one of a number of possibilities. Anyway, I plan to go back to my Mesopotamian Servant sheets at some point in the near future to fix this and improve whatever I can. I think I can put all of them into the same narrative; a millenary story from Enmebaragesi to Peshtur to Lugal-Kitun to Sargon to Enheduanna to a-whole-bunch-of-other-people-before-and-after-and-in-between to Ashurbanipal.

    “The Decline and Fall of Ancient Mesopotamia.” Sounds like fun.

  5. #9325
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Thedoctor's Avatar
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    So basically this guy destroys F/SN Lancer

  6. #9326
    Time to burn some dread Daneel Rush's Avatar
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    Well, if that's what you care about, then yes, Protection of the Pantheon renders him immune to the effect of B-rank Gaé Bolg. And it's not like the Hound of Ulster can, you know, spear him over and over until he drops or anything.

    So yeah, I guess Sargon destroys F/SN Lancer. [/sarcasm]

  7. #9327
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One
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    DANEEEEEEL

    RUUUUUUSH


  8. #9328
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    I saw Sharur and rejoiced.
    Mainly because Sharur is kind of the "original legendary weapon" and I don't see it brought up much, if at all.
    The wind association definitely evokes a similarity to Ea, though the last part in the description likely was meant to do that anyway.
    Last edited by Lycodrake; August 30th, 2014 at 03:39 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  9. #9329
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors black1blade's Avatar
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    I think saladin would make a good heroic spirit. He could probably been any of the knight/warrior classes (saber,lancer,archer,rider). His noble phantasm could be similar to F/Z rider.

  10. #9330
    Preformance Pertension SeiKeo's Avatar
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    I'm very excited about this new desert reality marble np.
    Quote Originally Posted by asterism42 View Post
    That time they checked out that hot guy they were just admiring his watch, yeah?


  11. #9331
    地獄待ち Spinach's Avatar
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    Not even reskinned Ionioi Hetairoi. Just add beards and rags to their heads. DONE.

    He already has those actually

    IT'S JUST IONIOI HETAIROI

  12. #9332
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Arha's Avatar
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    My memories of the crusades are kinda fuzzy but I think he might work better as someone more like Vlad and focus on maintaining a territory for bonuses and possibly NP deployment. Though I suppose without an army the A rank charisma he deserves would probably go to waste.

  13. #9333
    Bitchin' Arashi_Leonhart's Avatar
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    He also had a lot of internal strife within his own people to bring together a RM of nakama. I mean, so did Alexander, but Uro shoehorned it in because of the way he wrote Xander's big personality.

  14. #9334
    鬼 Ogre-like You's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arha View Post
    My memories of the crusades are kinda fuzzy but I think he might work better as someone more like Vlad and focus on maintaining a territory for bonuses and possibly NP deployment. Though I suppose without an army the A rank charisma he deserves would probably go to waste.
    Cough Saber Cough.

  15. #9335
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    Going by her backstory, Saber's Charisma is literally the most untrue Personal Skill anyone has ever had.

  16. #9336
    Totally not a Saber clone Knick's Avatar
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    Except she was a fine leader, but everything worked against her.

    Lancelot and the Queen falling in love, Mordred having issues, Morgan being an angry bitch.

    If she never had B-rank when she became King it all would have instantly started going to shit. It look a while to fall apart.
    Last edited by Knick; August 31st, 2014 at 01:56 AM.


    Quote Originally Posted by Arashi_Leonhart View Post
    Are you swearing by the root or are you just happy to see me?

  17. #9337
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One Siriel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knick View Post
    Except she was a fine leader
    A leader that gets their own country to turn against them isn't a 'fine leader'.

    (Well, that doesn't change that Artoria does have the charisma to unite a country for a while.)
    Last edited by Siriel; August 31st, 2014 at 02:07 AM.
    Ragnarok, come day of wrath
    That fallen souls might bear our plea.
    To hasten the Divine's return.
    O piteous Wanderer.

  18. #9338
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six Arha's Avatar
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    Charisma is an odd thing to call the skill when it should probably be something more like Leadership. She has all the charm of a dead fish.

  19. #9339
    Bitchin' Arashi_Leonhart's Avatar
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    But the Leadership feat would just make things muddied when it comes to figuring out cohorts and companions. And you know Takeuchi, "Her CHA score can't be anything less than 16!"

  20. #9340
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One Siriel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arha View Post
    Charisma is an odd thing to call the skill when it should probably be something more like Leadership. She has all the charm of a dead fish.
    No, charisma is the right term.

    She has the charisma to gather people. It's only afterward that they start to notice her personality.
    Ragnarok, come day of wrath
    That fallen souls might bear our plea.
    To hasten the Divine's return.
    O piteous Wanderer.

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