Does anybody have any feedback on Empedocles? I'd appreciate it.
Does anybody have any feedback on Empedocles? I'd appreciate it.
I have two questions: the limitations of the gauntlet NP (surely it can't oneshot Servants or break NPs with a touch) and the power of the rebirth's shield (if it's strong enough to withstand an NP, we have on our hands a potentially even more annoying Herk).
Originally Posted by ほうれん草
Thanks for the feedback! Regarding the gauntlet NP... I didn't think much as to its limitations, to be honest. But I imagine objects (or people) would be able to resist its effects depending on their degree of innate Mystery. He definitely wouldn't be able to shatter high-level NPs with a touch. I'll consider adding a note of that to the description.
Molten Rebirth's fire shield is strong enough to withstand most attacks but it's only active while he's in the middle of reincarnating, not afterwards. It's to keep him from being interrupted in mid-resurrection. Think Gill's Resurrection super from Street Fighter, basically. Also it isn't nearly as powerful as Herc's. Not only does have not nearly as many lives, he's also far weaker (only has rank A parameters at his very last life) and lacks immunity to things that have killed him in the past or the conceptual denial of attacks below a certain rank (which is what made Herc so OP).
Yes, but Herc can be killed multiple times with a powerful enough attack, while this guy seems like he'd be able to take Caliburn with 3 lives remaining, lose one and keep going, business as usual. This would make him quite the pain in the ass, as it's likely that any given enemy who isn't Karna tier will have to NP more than once just to get rid of the guy, which is not exactly easy. For example, it would take two Excaliburs from Saber in the best-case scenario where she can sword him to death 3 times, which probably does put him above Herk in the "won't freaking go away" category.
Last edited by Desuclocker; July 17th, 2016 at 04:38 PM.
Well, it's much weaker then God Hand in most aspects so I figure it makes sense for it to be stronger in one.
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Added a section to Philotes Kai Neikos explaining more clearly what it can and can't affect.
About Empedocles, it is nice to see Servants you never heard of here, but it is hard to comment on them. I read a bit of him in Wikipedia and I could see most of his legend and life in this sheet. The Skills are ok (even I am not agreeing much with Divinity E in initial state, but I guess it is aceptable). Both Noble Phantasm are interesting. About the gauntlet ones, in what level can they "divide" and "gather"? Like, can him rearrange atoms to make new stuff? And about the second one, I would suggest something bad on it to balance it more. Idk, maybe each time he reborns, he lose all his memmory from the time he is summoned til his last death? This way it would be a "new life" and he would have to learn everything from his enemies and master again...
When I posted my Ganelon, I mentioned how I got a small reference to make Godefroy's sword the same sword of Ganelon (a medieval epic about a knight who got a sword also called Murgleis, and the knight was Godefroy's Grandfather). And then I said I was making a Godefroy sheet, and here is it.
Saber
Identity: Godefroy de Bouillon
Title: “Advocate of the Holy Sepulcher”, “King of the Crusaders”
Alternative Classes: Rider
Gender: Male
Alignment: Lawful Good
Background: Godefroy de Bouillon, alongside with the King Arthur and Charlemagne, is one of the three worthies of Christendom, being a symbol of justice, prudence, courage and bravery for the Christians of medieval Europe. His legend was made during the first Crusades, where he became a leader to all Crusaders, finally recovering the lands of Jerusalem. His loyalty to his faith was proven when he rejected the title of “King of Jerusalem” after the reconquer, preferring the title of “Advocate of the Holy Sepulcher”, since for him Jerusalem had only one king, Jesus Christ.
Strength – B
Endurance – A
Agility – C
Mana – B
Luck – A
Noble Phantasm – A+
Weaponry: Saber is equipped with his sword, Espee de Godefroy.
Armor: Saber wears a heavy army and uses a large shield.
Skills
NP
I named Ganelon Sword "The Demon Sword of Treason", while Godefroy uses the original name, "The Holy Sword of Authority". Both swords got opposite effects. Ganelon's Murgleis is focused on destroying bonds between allies, while Godefroy's Espee de Godefroy is a sword that increases damage while having allies.
The devs can set in-game values to whatever they want. That has nothing to do with the ranks of parameters and skills.
Hamadryas: One of my favourite things about this thread is hearing and finding things about historical people and mythological figures that you normally wouldn't. Unfortunately it makes it hard to comment on her. With her focus on plants and animals, she seems like a combination of a Druid and Ranger from D&D. I like how most of the combat is done by her Familiar so that seems very caster~y.
Sun Wukong: I like that you stated the existence of the other Wukong that appeared in Koha Ace for like, a page. I know you wanted to make him OP, but he's stronger than frickin Heracles with higher stats and as you said, 6 NP's and a Reality Marble. You said he was based on the tales rather than the real deal so what I would have done personally would have been to make a Noble Phantasm than was the sublimination of his tales kinda like God Hand or just put them all into one and have him call on one at a time.
Pier Gerlofs Donia: I like him but I agree with Spoony with his second NP as it doesn't seem to fit. Everything else including his 1st NP though I like.
Empedocles: Again, never heard of him. Nothing I can say on him that hasn't already been said.
Jeanne de Clisson: I'm always a fan of any alter servant especially with how they're written which is lovely to see. Voices of the Departed (False) is a skill that adds a lot of flavour. I agree with essentially everything Royd said but I really appreciate how the mud of the grail affects them which is what you have written so props to you.
Nun'yunu'wi: Very interesting, especially that weakness, when I was it as a dislike I thought it was just that but it was very interesting to read more of. He's a pretty colourful servant, I like. Especially the Stoneskin and Medicine Man skill.
Godefroy de Bouillon: I like this guy and I can't really fault him at all. Only 'issue' is that he doesn't tend to stand out so much aside from his NP. I'd suggest coming up with an original skill perhaps?
Quest of Fate
Apocrypha Universe Fate Quest Project
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Beast's Lair Discord Server For Fate Quests
Hermes Servant Collection Master Post
Class: Berserker
True Name: Mordred
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Attribute: Royalty, Dragon, Earth.
Parameters
STR: B+
END: A+
AGI: A
MAG: B+
LCK: D+
Class Skills
Mad Enhancement: EX
Increases parameters at the cost of sanity. All parameters are increased by one rank. While it may seem that Berserker is nothing more than a mad beast, one can actually reach an understanding with her. Berserker's madness comes from her desire to be better than her 'father', perhaps from the dream-like memories of 'past' summonings has given her an understanding of why her 'father' did not acknowledge her as 'his' son and has a slightly less difficult personality, though she's rather hard to handle and has been made half mad through pain. She still desires 'his' acknowledgement and what better way to do that than to be better than 'him' in every way?
Personal Skills
Instinct: B
The ability to detect positive developments during battle.
Prana Burst(Lightning): C-(A+)
Increases ones ability by imbuing limbs and weapons with magical energy. The low rank comes from the inefficiency of the input-output and the backlash of pain when using this skill that forced her into a more beast-like posture. When her first Noble Phantasm is deactivated, this skill massively jumps in power and decreases the backlash considerably turning her into a font of blood red lightning.
Battle Continuation: B
The ability to survive lethal wounds. Increases the chance of reaching allied territory.
Magic Resistance: C
Cancel spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.
Noble Phantasms
Secret of Pedigree: Armour of the Traitor Knight(Anti-Self, Anti-Army, B+)
Once the enchanted helm of Berserker, made by her mother to hide her identity. Now it has melded with her armour and body, turning it to her second skin. Its design has been changed into something that has both the characteristic of beings purposefully forged and naturally grown, like a certain Swiss artist's works. It has also been strengthened, causing it to 'hide' almost everything about her. Not only are her skills and identity hidden but also her class and even her intention, preventing skill such as Instinct, Human Observation, and Eye of The Mind to be effective, in other words this Noble Phantasm prevents information to be obtained by those who look at her except in the most general of things even her words cannot be understood no matter what. The armour also contains the effect of her Prana Burst, making it much more inefficient and even reflect some of it back, directly damaging Berserker in the process.
When Berserker activates her second Noble Phantasm this one is permanently destroyed, releasing a powerful explosion of mana in the process and leaving it nothing more than a wrecked(but functional) set of armour
Clarent: Bloody Lightning Clad Steps to the Wind King's Radiant Throne(Anti-Unit, Anti-Self, A++)
The holy silver sword that Berserker stole, normally a sword symbolising 'the kingship of King Arthur' it has now become a sword that 'allows one to surpass King Arthur'. This Noble Phantasm can only be activated if Secret of Pedigree is destroyed. In effect it is similar to the skills Self-Delusion and Imperial Privilege, a desire borne of the self that leads to its change but instead of being based on 'I am better' it's 'I need to be better'. Furthermore, the changes that this Noble Phantasm makes are much more fundamental in nature and can even lead to the downgrade, or even loss, of her skills. For instance, she can discard her Dragon attribute but that will make her Prana Burst and Magic Resistance non functional, she could add the Demon trait to have them be functional again or it might just give her new skills. Such drastic changes has its own downsides of course, if used too much it can lead to her very spirit destabilizing and simply disappearing from the world.
Just like the skills it resembles, Berserker cannot make this changes unless she think that it will lead to 'being better than King Arthur' or using a Command Seal(which has its own problems). Turning into a Man Heroic Spirit is a much easier leap of logic than being a Beast Heroic Spirit. Furthermore, by invoking its name Berserker can transform this sword's blade into a shaft of silver light surrounded by currents of electricity, like a lightning rod striking itself with lightning. A manifestation of Berserker's understanding andhatelove
But are those in-game values visible to the players? I mean, would a player know that even if d'Eon's STR were C (hypothetically), their damage would be comparable to Rank B?
Statistics like Strength, Agility, etc. are meaningless in actual gameplay.
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Skills, however, actually do things.
Godfrey: He's good but Hermes is right that he could use a little something extra. He could easily have a Skill based on the Crusades or some variant of Territory Creation (Territory Acquisition, maybe?) based on how he captured Jerusalem and built fortifications around it. In fact, there seems to be strangely little mention of the Crusades at all in his lore.
Espee De Godefroy is a creative take on the usual 'sword-beam' idea. What with getting power from his allies, it seems like the perfect ability for a Shonen protagonist. "With my friends at my side... there's no way I can lose!" and all that good stuff.
When I was thinking of doing a Godfrey sheet a while ago I came up with a certain NP for him which I ultimately never used (since I ended up going for the Nameless Crusader instead and it wouldn't fit her). Now that you've done a Godfrey sheet I wonder if it could work for yours. My idea was that he'd have a Reality Marble called 'Advocatus Sancti Sepulchri' which would manifest either the Church Of The Holy Sepulcher or Jerusalem itself around Godfrey and the target(s). Within this area any foes calling themselves 'kings' would suffer a rank-down to all parameters along with the sealing of all 'kingly' abilities, based on how Godfrey himself forswore the title of king within Jerusalem in honor of Jesus Christ.
Not my most creative idea, but you're free to add it to the sheet if you want. After all, it's not like I'm ever going to be using it.
The character sheet stats are visible when you look at the Servant information flavortext. The in-game attack and defense values are visible when you upgrade the character and select party makeup. There is no connection between the two. Low rarity, low attack, and low defense Arash has mid-to-upper level STR, AGI, END and the like. Super rare, mid attack, high defense EMIYA still has his shitty stats.
Localizationing stuff
Full-retard, thy name is AvengerEmiya.
Class Skills \
---GRAND SABER---
- Galactica Saber -
Alignment: Lawful Good
====================
Strength: A++
Endurance: A+++
Agility: EX
Mana: EX
Luck: EX
Noble Phantasm: EX
====================
Character details
~ Magic Resistance: [EX]
A Servant's ability to resist thaumaturgical effects.Grand Saber's entire person is coated in Mystery, and there is likely no magic even from the Age of the Gods capable of penetrating it.
Even Great Rituals and High Thaumaturgy cannot affect Grand Saber.
~ Riding: [---]
A Servant's capacity for riding various mounts and vehicles. Grand Saber does not possess a rank in this skill since she has never manned any type of transportation before. Also, she can fly at lightspeeds. Even in the distant future, a superior form of mobility does not exist.
Personal Skills \
~ Ether Burst: [A+++]
A special form of Mana Burst which utilizes Ether or "Space Dust", an element unique to the Land of Steel. While she was born a disabled Ether Liner (a human born in the Land of Steel with Grain inside them) after becoming a true Knight, she was capable of mimicking the technique used by a certain King of Knights centuries ago. It strengthens her blows to explosive proportions as well as bolstering her already high defense to a nigh-impregnable degree.
The Skill is also where Grand Saber's capacity for flight comes from.
While she can instantly jettisons Ether through her body to enhance her combat abilities, she can also perform a more subtle method of the technique. By constantly radiating Ether from every pore of her body, she forms a soft aura that allows her to levitate, and when concentrated, fly at unperceivable speeds. She can instantaneously amass enough energy to fly at the speed of light.
~ Habringer of Fantasia: [EX]
In the dead world of the Land of Steel, traces of Mystery have completely vanished as Humanity has abandoned or forgotten such ideals, just as they have forgotten the days they were truly human. The only link that remains of such times is Grand Saber. She serves as a beacon by which the foregone phenomena of the world gather, literally enveloping her in Mystery.
The longer Grand Saber stays in certain location the more Mystery will amass in that place. Desolate landscapes will be visited by Elementals such as fairies, and places devoid of life or nature suddenly become home to Phantasmal Species lost to world. Granted, these phenomena disappear within a few days of her absence. There is rumored to be a place on the Western Continent that Grand Saber visits often to sleep. Her continued domesticity at that place has caused a garden similar to the one detailed in the Abrahamic myths to be created. It would likely survive for decades even after she left.
~ Charisma: [EX]
Saber's Charisma goes beyond standard conventions. In the Land of Steel, she is one of the few capable of vanquishing the Types, and out of the active twenty-eight Knights, she is considered the de facto leader, known as the "Fairy-King of Knights." The last hopes of the world rest on her wings, and Liners and A-rays both look to her as their Savior. The only reason she does not qualify as a Savior Servant is because she denounces the title whenever it is laid upon her.
"I only exist to fight the Types, and fulfill my duty as a knight."
Defending the Earth is her only purpose, and is that purpose that has made Grand Saber the last beacon of salvation. Any sentient lifeform that comes from Earth will rally around her whenever she is present.
Noble Phantasm
Lore
Last edited by AvengerEmiya; July 18th, 2016 at 02:33 PM.
Fate/Grand Order Doujins That Don't Suck [Updated: 3/2]
Not enough EX ranks. Change everything to EX and we're talking.
EX is a little weaksauce. It ought to be EX++, really.
still weaksauce
needs to be S rank.
Though abandoned, forgotten, and scorned as out-of-date dolls, they continue to carry out their mission, unchanged from the time they were designed.
Machines do not lose their worth when a newer model appears.
Their worth (life) ends when humans can no longer bear that purity.
After what Hermes said I was thinking on a 'Crusader' skill that would rank up parameters when in a hostile territory or something like that. I thought on a Holy Sepulchre NP for an eventual Rider class version of him, but maybe I add it to the Saber class as well. The anti-king idea is good, I may use it if I can't come with any other idea. Thank you for that!Godfrey: He's good but Hermes is right that he could use a little something extra. He could easily have a Skill based on the Crusades or some variant of Territory Creation (Territory Acquisition, maybe?) based on how he captured Jerusalem and built fortifications around it. In fact, there seems to be strangely little mention of the Crusades at all in his lore.
Espee De Godefroy is a creative take on the usual 'sword-beam' idea. What with getting power from his allies, it seems like the perfect ability for a Shonen protagonist. "With my friends at my side... there's no way I can lose!" and all that good stuff.
When I was thinking of doing a Godfrey sheet a while ago I came up with a certain NP for him which I ultimately never used (since I ended up going for the Nameless Crusader instead and it wouldn't fit her). Now that you've done a Godfrey sheet I wonder if it could work for yours. My idea was that he'd have a Reality Marble called 'Advocatus Sancti Sepulchri' which would manifest either the Church Of The Holy Sepulcher or Jerusalem itself around Godfrey and the target(s). Within this area any foes calling themselves 'kings' would suffer a rank-down to all parameters along with the sealing of all 'kingly' abilities, based on how Godfrey himself forswore the title of king within Jerusalem in honor of Jesus Christ.
Not my most creative idea, but you're free to add it to the sheet if you want. After all, it's not like I'm ever going to be using it.
Oh, I see. Thanks!
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