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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #9561
    A False Shadow Morg van Destro's Avatar
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    Stein, so you're saying we could use you to create a more complete index for the first CaS thread?
    Do you like jazz short stories? Do you want something to distract from making Servants? Do you wish the idea of Shirou Kotomine didn't immediately bring edgelords to mind? Well, I can't promise it's good, but some would disagree with me.
    Fate/Without Justice

  2. #9562
    夜属 Nightkin ThreadNomad's Avatar
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    I applaud your phenomenal memory and determination, and also mock your lack of hobbies.

  3. #9563
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    How DrStein is henceforth remembered:



    I have to respect that too. I have seen you lurking from time to time. Thank you for liking my Jane. You are more than welcome to use your reworks of canon servants in my Bimonthly revision contest.
    no, I demand it.
    We have to watch out. Stein watched and learned from us all. No amount of apples can keep him at bay now.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  4. #9564
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    What the fuck. Everything?

    Stein, how did you feel as you advanced through the threads and your task got more and more daunting as sheets got longer and longer.
    Last edited by pinetree; August 30th, 2022 at 04:40 PM.

  5. #9565
    後継者 Successor DrStein's Avatar
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    Could I do it? Yes, certainly. But it'd legit be more effort than my actual job, so...

    -----------------------

    I felt weird commenting before I got caught up. There were a ton of banger sheets I felt bad not giving feedback on.

    I'll throw something into the next content tomorrow once the prompt is out. Just have to figure out how the formatting works.

    I'm confident in the actual quality of my writing. I'm just also lazy as hell. Hopefully being active here will help with that. I've been trying to make myself write daily for a while.

    -------------------------------

    I'm currently working on a Zhuge Liang sheet loosely inspired by Ya Boy Kongming (currently stuck trying to keep it from being a rip-off) and I'm theory crafting an Artemis sheet, with the premise that the version we see is a custom terminal modelled after Orion's taste in women.

    I also really want to do Robert Huntingdon/Robin of Loxley, but I'm stuck on giving his NPs some sort of twist to make them more dynamic.

    He WILL be wanked, because the entire history of the Robin Hood literary motif is super interesting.

    Be prepared for obnoxiously long lore sections that you should absolutely skip.

  6. #9566
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    Stein, how did you feel as you advanced through the threads and your task got more and more daunting as sheets got longer and longer.


    Oof, now I feel bad for being someone who tends to write like 2-2.5K words in my sheet.
    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

    (Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)

  7. #9567
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle MuramasaMachII's Avatar
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    Faceclaim:


    Class: Caster
    Other Classes: Rider, Saber, Watcher
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Place of Origin: Germany, Historical Facts
    Attribute: Human

    Parameters:

    STR: C(B+)
    END: B(B+)
    AGI: C(C+)
    MGI: A
    LCK: B-
    NP: A+

    Height: 186cm
    Weight: 79kg
    Likes: Opera, music, Norse Mythology
    Dislikes: Being in exile, being poor, people with no taste in music
    Talent:
    Natural Enemy: Kremhild, Siegfried, Sigurd
    Attribute: Man
    Traits: Human, Male, Weak to Enuma Elish
    Armament: Conductor’s stick, Valkyrie familiars
    Catalyst: A sheet of the original Der Ring des Nibelungen

    Class Skills:
    Territory Creation A+:
    Caster can create a workshop, where he composes his music. Even more is that he can create an “opera house” which is superior to a “workshop” for his second Noble Phantasm.

    Item Construction C+:
    In life, Caster was never known for manufacturing items, so his rank in this skill should normally be quite low. But, since Caster was associated highly with music and his opera, he may manufacture musical instruments or lower-quality items from the Nibelungen, such as the Tarnhelm(a helmet which grants a form of the Faker class skill Camouflage at rank C), or other Scandinavian/Norse mythical weapons (like Ridill or Hrotti)

    Personal Skills:
    Familiar(Walküren) A:
    Caster is able to create four small humanoid familiars that he calls his “wonderful mini-orchestra.” They are born from the fused facts of the opera being Caster’s specialty, and his opera Der Ring des Nibelungen. Thus, they look like mechanical automata Valkyries, wielding various brass musical instruments.


    Pioneer of the Stars B:
    Caster is known as one of the most famous 19th century composers, and one of the most important composers as is. His revolutionary style transformed Western music, specifically opera forever, and for the better.


    Gesamtkunstwerk EX:
    A “total work of art” or “ideal art form”. A word not made by Caster, but used by him so much that it has been permanently associated with him. This skill allows Caster to observe music related skills, magecraft, and some low-ranked Noble Phantasms and add their abilities to his own.


    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Ride Of The Valkyries
    Trumpeting Charge of The Shield-Maidens


    Type: Anti-Team
    Rank: B
    Range: 10 metres
    Max Targets: 22 targets

    The sublimation of one of Caster’s most famous compositions, Walkürenritt, also known as ‘The Ride of the Valkyries’. Passively, this Noble Phantasm manifests as Caster’s Valkyrie familiars. On the release of its True Name, ear-piercingly loud drums and horns play, the namesake of Caster’s Noble Phantasm triumphantly playing, weakening the targets’ mental resistance and putting them off balance. Then, as the music reaches its crescendo, Caster’s familiars transform into Odin’s Shield-Maidens, the Valkyries, riding mechanical horses and charge at the targets.



    Bayreuther Festspielhaus
    Stadium of My Greatest Works


    Type: Barrier/Support
    Rank: B+
    Range: 50 metres
    Max Targets: 200 targets

    The embodiment of the opera house of the same name, where Caster’s works are played at the Bayreuth festival and celebrated. It is a Bounded Field-type Noble Phantasm, and similarly to Avicebron’s Golem Keter Malkuth, this Noble Phantasm requires raw materials to create. Thus, in a Holy Grail War, Caster would dedicate his time to building this Noble Phantasm. Once the construction is complete, on release of the True Name, the whole building becomes a Bounded Field that both boosts Caster’s MGI and NP parameters, and grants him C rated music-based magecraft. The true purpose of this Noble Phantasm, though, is to activate Caster’s third Noble Phantasm, which is his trump card.


    Der Ring des Nibelungen
    Saga Of the Dragon-Slayer


    Type: Anti-Army/Reality Marble
    Rank: A
    Range: 50 metres
    Max Targets: 200 targets

    The trump card Noble Phantasm, and Caster’s zenith of abilities. Passively, it takes the form of a simple gold ring that Caster wears upon his index finger. When Caster is first summoned, this ring only has the use of locating golden objects, truly being able to be active once Bayreuther Festspielhaus is completed. On release of this Noble Phantasm’s True Name, Caster lifts up his index finger to the sky, causing his ring to rapidly expand and shine brightly like a star. The ring expands to its maximum size like a halo above Caster, and shines its brightest. Once fully materialised, Caster stands in the Rhine river, where the Ring was first found, and the main focus of the opera. Surrounding the Rhine river are important locations in the Nibelungen, such as Vosges and Worms. The true purpose of this Noble Phantasm though, is to create Demi-Servants inside the Reality Marble. Caster does this by assigning traits of his characters to his allies: A female Berserker would gain the traits of Kremhild, a male Ruler would gain the traits of King Gunther, etc. Furthermore, Caster’s transformation that he bestows upon himself is the greatest: He gives himself a modified copy of Siegfried’s Balmung, which he calls Götterdämmerung: Twilit Greatsword-Razing of the Gods. This weapon is a ranked down version of Balmung with the Anti-Divine trait attached. There is a severe downside to this Noble Phantasm though: Since Caster is not the original wielder of Balmung, or a Saber, each use of this Noble Phantasm severely injures his Saint Graph.

    Lore/Personality:

    Caster’s True Name is Richard Wagner(1813-1883), a 19th century German composer, theatre director, polemicist and conductor, creator of the Der Ring des Nibelungen, one of the most important opera works in history.

    Prideful, yet not arrogant. A man with only two great loves: creating musical works and Norse mythology. That is who Wagner is. He carries himself like a medieval hero, showing a love of adventure and laughing loudly as he charges into battle. At least, that’s what he wants to be… In reality, Caster is nowhere as fervent as he wants to be. He is but an (extremely) prideful and sincere composer who is not-so secretly a severe fanboy of the Scandinavian mythos.

    Wagner also clearly has a love for his own musical works, and loves to play them at any time possible, whether for dramatic entrances or battles, to the point where it’s almost annoying.



    Relationships:

    Siegfried: “Ah, yes, the main character of my work! Great to be working beside you, Dragon-Slayer!”

    Sigurd: “Wow! I’ve always wanted to meet you! You were a great inspiration for my works! You’re even cooler in real life!~”

    Kremhild: “I would say I’m sorry for how I made your story, but I’m not. All in the name of a great plot I guess! Wait, why are you jumping at—-!”


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Notes:
    Well, this is my first try at a Servant sheet. Feel free to criticize this all you want.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  8. #9568
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrStein View Post
    I'm confident in the actual quality of my writing. I'm just also lazy as hell. Hopefully being active here will help with that. I've been trying to make myself write daily for a while.
    Based

    Quote Originally Posted by DrStein View Post
    Be prepared for obnoxiously long lore sections that you should absolutely skip.
    Dude's practically a contest winner already.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Skull View Post

    Oof, now I feel bad for being someone who tends to write like 2-2.5K words in my sheet.
    You're not the only one lol. I have a CYOA disguised as a sheet here.

  9. #9569
    後継者 Successor DrStein's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinetree View Post
    What the fuck. Everything?

    Stein, how did you feel as you advanced through the threads and your task got more and more daunting as sheets got longer and longer.
    It was super interesting to see the evolution and trends over time. There's a bit of a weird balance for me between whether a sheet is too sparce or too dense, and it's interesting to see the evolutions of different creators over the years.

    Fun fact: the forty-page Enlil sheet was one of the lesser issues in terms of being too long. I thought most of its length was justified. Somehow.

    Can't say I didn't have moments where I was trying to hit a milestone and found a twenty-page text blocking my path. Especially when it was the godforsaken Servantverse.

    (Respect the creativity of those sheets, but damn. Sometimes you just want *normal* Ranmaru, you know?)

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Skull View Post

    Oof, now I feel bad for being someone who tends to write like 2-2.5K words in my sheet.

    Some of your sheets can drag a bit in the lore sections, but I've written longer summaries for sheets I don't even plan on posting, so I certainly can't judge.

    -----------------

    Speaking of which, I'll take the chance to praise your Crowley and Dandara sheets, Pinetree. I always struggled with how to make sheets for them that were actualyk interesting, and you nailed it.
    Last edited by DrStein; August 30th, 2022 at 04:54 PM.

  10. #9570
    夜属 Nightkin ThreadNomad's Avatar
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    Senpai, I have a question. What is your favourite sheet?

  11. #9571
    Not a day over sixty and with the eyes of a cornered ferret. WhiteFrenzy's Avatar
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    You are an absolute legend and I could never. #respect
    ——————
    WHITEFRENZY'S
    servants | masters
    —————

  12. #9572
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle Legendary Hero of the Chain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrStein View Post
    Fun fact: the forty-page Enlil sheet was one of the lesser issues in terms of being too long. I thought most of its length was justified. Somehow.
    ...this line terrifies me. I honestly can't believe such a thing exists.

    Otherwise, all the respect for doing this. Seriously, I cannot believe anyone had enough patience to do it, but well... ya proved me wrong.
    Gaze upon the Throne of Heroes!(Servant Compendium)

  13. #9573
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    Enlil from TheTruthWhale is an experience. For better or worse. Great sheet creator. It is sad he was drained soon after.
    It was basically a whole epic not even disguised as a sheet with several power escalations Freezer-style. Absolute legend.

    Richard Wagner: Welcome newcomer, reveal your buttocks for your initiatory spanking. Jokes aside, here are several issues on the technical side, not concept side.
    How do we interpret his parameters? The brackets are confusing.
    Item Construction seems busted for him, considering you do not describe him as a magus. A musician that can forge mythical swords, one of them from a dwarven smith? This warrants explanation and a higher rank.
    Pioneer of the Stars is basically a Title that can only have rank EX. If you wish to depict him as a revolutionary, then a personal skill is needed.
    Gesamtkunstwerk is a neat and the familiar skill is a cute idea. I can see them work in FGO animations.
    I think you could have merged the first two NP into Territory Creation and Familiar. The Valkyries should stay mechanical, articial facsimiles because I doubt he could summon real ones and I imagine it like the four valks transform into one like in a Mecha anime. Just say in his TC skill he not just creates an opera hourse, but THE opera house. It is not unusual for Casters needing their own territory for Nps. That way you dont have 3NP, which is too many for a relatively recent musician. Remember, Mozart is weak and only has one NP.
    The 3rd NP is cool but you are not clear. You say Demi-Servants are created but as examples you use Servants. Are humans imprinted with the roles or not?
    Overall: Idea really fun, execution bit wonky but this comes with experience. A fun idea is more important anyways. And who doesnt wanna see 4 mechanical valk dolls scream at you while your enemy makes regular people into temporary Servants?
    Last edited by DelRey; August 30th, 2022 at 06:09 PM.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  14. #9574
    夜属 Nightkin ThreadNomad's Avatar
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    That was an amazing read. Talent such as him I've seen only in you, senpai. Pleasedontleave.
    Last edited by ThreadNomad; August 30th, 2022 at 06:07 PM.

  15. #9575
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrStein View Post
    Speaking of which, I'll take the chance to praise your Crowley and Dandara sheets, Pinetree. I always struggled with how to make sheets for them that were actualyk interesting, and you nailed it.
    I appreciate the Dandara praise, I'm fond of it.
    Crowley's not mine though

  16. #9576
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    That was most likely NMR-3's Crowley, who started the "choose your adventure" sheet style with his Gatekeeper+ idea
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  17. #9577
    邪魔 Spanner Random's Avatar
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    Holy crap, Stein better be on the fuckin Throne of Heroes themselves after all this.

    Fate\last call
    night, dawn, and the birth of stars

                                                                                      ╘══════════════════╕
    Characters
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    Recent: Ch. ■
    next arc: Spring 2024

  18. #9578
    後継者 Successor DrStein's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Legendary Hero of the Chain;3218334Otherwise, all the respect for doing this. Seriously, I cannot believe anyone had enough patience to do it, but well... ya proved me wrong.[/QUOTE]

    *Puts down carved wooden beaver* My college had zero social life, and all my friends lived at least an hour away. A man will do anything for crumbs of social interaction when he’s desperate enough.

    ----------------------------------

    Ah, you're right. I was thinking of NMR's. Yours was the Bat Outer God one, right? Also a banger, I must say.

  19. #9579
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    he is the throne now
    he recorded all the heroes

    we shall use you to declare the best sheets of which creator.
    have you read the Secret Santa too?
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  20. #9580
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle MuramasaMachII's Avatar
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    Thank you for your feedback on my first sheet. The reason why I added the brackets is because I thought that the opera house could temporarily enhance some of them, so the ones in brackets are when they are enhanced. Otherwise, I get it. I'll probably try to revise the sheet once I have some time.

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