Create-A-Servant 2

[RoydGolden]

It is an interpretation, but maybe to Mozart, she was so much of a stranger, to the point where he even forgot who she truly was.

Who just forgets about their own sister entirely, though? Especially since they seemed to be close when they were kids, even if they never saw each later on.

[SleepMode]

...True, but the guy was pretty much working his butt off on his music for a majority of his life, and just by reading his colorful life, it's easy for him to forget something from a memory as distant as childhood.

But hey, this was just an interpretation; so my words are as concrete as wet paper.

[Bird of Hermes]

Point's addressed with the index, here's an updated version.

https://pastebin.com/CEDcvp0i

Once again, thanks NMR for doing 99% of the legwork.

[Spartacus]

Can you reunite the Olga who still at her hometown with her fellow Olga friends at the church, pretty please?

[sherlock1110]

Also, I found this piece of art looking up Lord Of The Flies on TV Tropes and it pretty much perfectly epitomizes Sherlock's take on the character (even includes the spear!). I'd suggest he use it as an FC but I'm not quite sure if it's intended for public viewing or not (obviously, linking to the original source goes without saying). So, just putting it out there.

I'm also a little surprised that, other then the name of his second NP, there wasn't any references to the literal

talking pig head

lord of the flies

from the book, since that's by far the part that's most endured in popular memory. Maybe give him a Skill called "Affections Of The Beast (False)", that lets him communicate with a supposed true demon that is in fact an embodiment of mankind's collective violent nature.

...Or something. I've never taken Lord Of The Flies in school, so I probably have no right to even be giving suggestions, but these are just the ideas that came to mind when I read your sheet and looked through the book's summary onTV Tropes. In general though, it feels like his second NP could stand to be a bit more grotesque, maybe having him take on the appearance of a rotting corpse with giant, dessicated fly's wings and insects buzzing all around him. Especially since it's by far his highest ranked NP and you can justifiably hype it up as embodying a concept (man's inherent brutality) far greater and more universal then he is, you could definitely have wanked it a bit more.

- - - Updated - - -

Suggested improvements aside, it was a well-made sheet and fun to read. You've definitely become the resident king of literary Servants around here, Sherlock!

Thank you but really these are undeserved praises. I'm mainly doing literary ones because that's the only stuff I know, after all I've spent about a year thinking many of these up before realising other people would want to share ideas as well. The reason I didn't want to do a talking pigs head thing is because, well I guess it's time for my awful interpretation of Lord of the Flies and it's themes

Awful Interpretation of Book

Lord of the Flies focuses around a group of boys as they fall into savagery, in an allegorical manner the important characters who represent certain Aspects of humanity are:

Ralph - Human Goodness (Goodness that is common within humans)
Jack - Human Evil (Evil that is common within humans)
Piggy - Human Intelligence
The Twins Sam and Eric - Human Weakness (They basically go along with whoever)
Simon - Goodness Beyond Humanity (Simon is shown to have an almost spiritual connection to the world)
The Lord of the Flies/Roger/The Beast - Evil Beyond Humanity (I include Roger here because of my own interpretation of the books themes, similar to Simon the chapters from his perspective are very abstract among other reasons)

Ultimately I opted out of including the Pig in Lancer's sheet because his link with it is a bit more stretched than other characters (he does put it in place but he is more distinct from it in terms of symbolism) also other characters, such as Ralph and Simon, directly interact with it (Simon talks to it and Ralph just rage modes on it).

Thank you for the image, I kind of forgot that TV tropes existed so this would really work for Lancer as a character. Thank you for the suggestions as well, I wanted to get the framework down before brushing up on the descriptions, also I know there is a "Beast" class (That's Grand Order stuff so I don't know much about it) and maybe The Lord of the Flies would work for that. Okay sorry to have taken up your time but thank you

[sherlock1110]

Jack Merridew: Ah, it's nice to see a good classic written as a Servant, so good job! Honestly, the previous post wasn't really ripped apart for the edge but mainly for the lack of historical relevance and absurd Parameters and NPs - just to name a few.
But yours is far from being edgy due to the character you based it off of, so don't worry!

The 3 NPs are all very creative representatives of Merridew's character, with the 1st on his influence over the kids, and the 2nd technically symbolizes his growing egotism.

Although, I would reword "effectively removing him from the Grail War" to "rendering him so weak that he'll be defeated without effort," as having stupidly low Parameters doesn't automatically kick you out of the Grail War. And personally, the 1st NP could be converted to a Skill, too.

And a question regarding the 3rd NP: does it work only with specifically that pair of glasses or it can be any random schmuck's broken specs?

---

(It seems to me that you really like making Literary Servants...)

I kind of just make them because that's all I know. It's a pretty nice way to relax as well sorry. Your right about the rewording and I'd imagine that it's a specific pair of Glasses he is carrying around, I didn't want to make the 1st NP into a skill though because Lancer uses a very specific kind of indoctrination, most of my sheets appear to be a ripoff of a Mao Zedong sheet from a while ago which is... worrying me, I didn't realise it so am I the Shiro Emiya of Servant sheets? Anyway the Mao sheet had a similar conversion NP but I wanted Jack's NP to be a conversion focused one that represents the barbarity and torture he used to control people, if it's a skill it seems more like a wider range of Servants can use it. Also I wanted to use that style of name, I know those are horrible reasons though sorry

[RoydGolden]

While it's nice to see you used the image I suggested for Jack, it's still failed to show up properly. I don't know how it is you have so much trouble posting up images, but just copy the image's URL (not the URL of the page itself, obviously), go to Imgur and paste it into the "New Posts" section. Then highlight the top right corner of the image for Share Links, click BBcode, post that into the forum and viola! One freshly uploaded image.

Sorry if you feel I'm being condescending by laying all this out, but since you've had so much trouble I feel it might be good to have a rigorous guide to the process (since I myself had trouble finding Share Links not so long ago). In fact, I even uploaded the image myself just to show there wasn't anything wrong with it.



You can use this one if you want, but eventually you'll have to learn how to make it work yourself. Also, it'd probably be nice to have a link back to the original page (since it wasn't drawn by "TV Tropes").

[sherlock1110]

Sorry... I really don't understand why it works when I paste the BBCode from Imgur vs when I paste the link then image tag it myself put I'll go with what works in the future. Sorry to have bothered you like this please forgive me sorry

[RoydGolden]

Sorry... I really don't understand why it works when I paste the BBCode from Imgur vs when I paste the link then image tag it myself put I'll go with what works in the future. Sorry to have bothered you like this please forgive me sorry

There's no need to apologize so much. Just as long as it's been worked out.

[sherlock1110]

The following Servant sheet contains spoilers for Arthur Miller's Play "The Crucible"

Show Sheet

Servant Class: Berserker

True Name: John Proctor

Servant Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Strength - D+
Agility - D
Endurance - B
Mana - E
Luck - E
Noble Phantasm - B+

Appearance:

It's a Kiritsugu face not a psuedoservant sorry

Personality: A man with a stern but troubled demeanor, though he occasionally tries to put on a show of strictness he will often begin to break down into a state of silent woe or grief. In this incarnation his conscience is troubled, aptly described as "a sinner, not only against the moral fashion of the time, but against his own vision of decent conduct". His faith in others or humanity is abysmal, seeing everyone else as merely lying in order to survive in this world. Rather than being a well-rounded person when summoned as a Berserker he is lost and merely wishes for the world to disappear as if it was an illusion all along. Despite this he is still a very religious man and in following his moral code attempts to help others when possible, even if he sees no hope of heaven for himself who he casts down on a nigh-constant basis. His wish for the grail is likely a future of truth where all live with God's righteousness.

Likes: Tending to his land, his family, God's icy wind
Dislikes: Delusion, Mobs, Humanity
Talent: Tenacity
Natural Enemies: Abigail Williams, Liars

Class Skills:

Madness Enhancement (C)- When activated Berserker will be robbed of most of his abilities to reason but in exchange gains a rank up to C and C+ in Strength and Mana respectively, in addition his alignment descends towards Lawful Evil. Berserker does not attempt to engage in conversation with those he meets, but those who try to talk to him will only receive his various pessimistic interpretations of the world in return. Either he will discuss his own lack of faith for his wife (although he does not discuss specifics) or make a series of angry comments about how the authorities of the world have turned away from god and that "The children are jangling the keys to the kingdom".

Personal Skills:

Innocent Monster (D+)- This skill is merely what remains of the rumors that surrounded Berserker when he was tried. Due to the accusations making him out to be an agent of hell he is granted this skill, but it is far weaker as almost none of these rumors are believed in the modern day, though if he was (somehow) summoned during the Witch Trials he would have an A+ rank in this skill. As such it makes those who look at him get the impression he is not entirely there, while also giving the distinct impression that he is an ambassador of dark powers rather than a Servant, though it is not entirely difficult to resist this suggestion.

Human Observation (C+) - Berserker has a skilled understanding of certain aspects of human behaviour, as such even while under the effects of Madness Enhancement he is capable of predicting certain people's actions at the time. His understanding of them is limited however by his own personal experiences and as such it is less useful against those who lived in the modern age or in a society very different from his own. He seems to be especially good at seeing through lies and the actions of those who lie to manipulate others.

Protection of the Faith (D) - This ability, though a form of Divine Protection, is not a blessing from a higher existence but instead an absoluteness of one's body and soul. Berserker possesses it at a low rank due to him turning away from God, but his moral code is so intertwined with his beliefs that he still gains some of the benefits of this skill.

Noble Phantasms:

Them That Quail to Bring Men Out of Ignorance- When you know in all your black hearts that this be fraud (D, Anti-Mind): As Berserker was one who lived during the Salem witch trials while rejecting the lies and rumor based legality of the time. His attempt to reveal the fraud the trials were based on was turned against him. Berserker eventually decided that it was impossible to fight against the trials as deep down the participants knew they were lying to themselves and others. Much like All the World's Evils that are manifested as a black mud by the grail, Berserker produces a substance referred to as The Waters of Salem. This naturally seeps from his body into the surrounding environment and is practically impossible for anyone except those with the closest ties to the planet to realise the abnormality that is occurring. It will naturally be attracted to water and travels either in the form of a gas or a liquid. The effect that it evokes on human beings is to change their personality and perceptions of the world, they become more and more convinced that they are truly right and just in their actions, beginning to imagine existential threats (generally of the demonic variety) that become confirmed through their now warped perceptions. Though this is less effective against Servants constant exposure will produce similar effects to those normally exhibited on humans.

I say God is Dead- You are pulling heaven down and raising up a whore! (B+, Anti-Army): As the Waters of Salem has a limited effect on Servants but a stronger one on normal humans it becomes a Noble Phantasm capable of wiping away all Mages in the surrounding area. Mages who encounter the Waters of Salem will have the power of it infuse and empower them. Mages will reach greater and greater levels of power, their Mana supplies will become almost inexhaustible and they will find the use of more complex Thaumaturgy second nature. They will eventually seem to be all powerful demons to the ordinary humans, although this will not actually make them all powerful they will become power houses and, considering the mental dispositions of Mages affected by the Waters of Salem this will lead to chaos in the surrounding area. However this power is finite and comes at a severe cost, after a few days or even a matter of hours of intense usage the Mage will suffer a most awful death. Their body is lit aflame in an unavoidable conflagration, others will be harmed and the Mage cannot avoid death at this point, their own Magecraft is turned against them (much like the fighting style of another with similar appearance to Proctor...) and they will remain as nothing more than a dried up corpse, mysteriously hung by unknown energies.

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Hopefully this is a good enough contribution for the Berserker class . This is obviously more based on the literary Proctor than the historical Proctor (who is still pretty interesting). Although the second Noble Phantasm suffers from being similar to practically any and all transformation NPs (including my awful Tam O Shanter sheet) I thought it would work well with a Berserker interpretation of Proctor. Sorry to have wasted the time of anyone who read this but any feedback would be appreciated thank you for your time and effort.

pivix link: https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust....st_id=27216151

[RoydGolden]

Proctor: Was actually half-considering an Abigail Williams sheet last night (since she's very likely to show up in Grand Order's Agarthe) so this is certainly interesting to see. The first NP is rather creative and the second one is a fairly typical "turn into a demon" sort of thing ala Jack from Strange Fake, but having the conversion take over a week at least makes it somewhat different.

He sounds like the sort of character that'd start out weak and then end up the final boss after going full demon, wanting to use the Grail to destroy humanity since he views it as impossible for them to be saved.

[sherlock1110]

Proctor: Was actually half-considering an Abigail Williams sheet last night (since she's very likely to show up in Grand Order's Agarthe) so this is certainly interesting to see. The first NP is rather creative and the second one is a fairly typical "turn into a demon" sort of thing ala Jack from Strange Fake, but having the conversion take over a week at least makes it somewhat different.

He sounds like the sort of character that'd start out weak and then end up the final boss after going full demon, wanting to use the Grail to destroy humanity since he views it as impossible for them to be saved.

Yeah sorry, I realised Proctor's second Noble Phantasm was very generic to say the least, and I was originally planning to outright just develop the first one (A Servant with only one Noble Phantasm, Iskandar would be pleased) and remove the second one. So this is a good opportunity to make touch-ups to Proctor and Merridew

Sorry to have been a bother again like this, I think I'll reign in on posting all the time, I didn't realise nobody else is posting that much so I'm seeming a bit obnoxious posting my awful sheets all the time

Also I haven't been keeping up to date with Strange Fake but by god it seems I should have. Someone done an Abigail Williams Servant and I saw it but I can't seem to find it again, sorry.

[RoydGolden]

Yeah sorry, I realised Proctor's second Noble Phantasm was very generic to say the least, and I was originally planning to outright just develop the first one (A Servant with only one Noble Phantasm, Iskandar would be pleased) and remove the second one. So this is a good opportunity to make touch-ups to Proctor and Merridew

Sorry to have been a bother again like this, I think I'll reign in on posting all the time, I didn't realise nobody else is posting that much so I'm seeming a bit obnoxious posting my awful sheets all the time

Also I haven't been keeping up to date with Strange Fake but by god it seems I should have. Someone done an Abigail Williams Servant and I saw it but I can't seem to find it again, sorry.

Nah, generic doesn't necessarily mean bad. Given the lore you provided, you'd want some sort of ability to represent his supposed demonic connections after all (since Innocent Monster starts out at an uber-low rank). Actually it has occurred to me that if you want something more then a generic transformation NP you could go with something more based on the "recruiter of witches" idea.

Maybe an ability to convert eligible women into "witches", granting ordinary humans a limited form of Magecraft at the expense of corrupting their minds and making them obsessively loyal towards him. Though in that case, you might want to give him some kind of Charisma or Incitement Skill to gather eligible followers (either that or his NP itself would double as an Incitement-like ability). Perhaps buff Innocent Monster as well, since you'd no longer have an NP to 'power him up' in that aspect.

And don't beat yourself up over posting so many sheets. The few you've posted up so far have been all pretty good and well thought-out, so as long as you keep up this level of quality I wouldn't worry. Besides, when I first got an account here I posted up like one or two Servant sheets a day for the first few weeks... (Granted, that's an unusual example since I'd written them up and had them lying around on my computer for quite a while before signing up)

- - - Updated - - -

Thinking about it, that would be kind of similar to the first NP you gave Merridew so maybe not quite as original as I'd thought... Oh well. Just a suggestion, feel free to peruse or disregard it at your leisure.

[sherlock1110]

I'm sorry to be as rude as this considering you are giving me useful and valid advice but anyone Berserker gathered would really have to be indirect. I couldn't picture him as a corrupting influence, rather one who has been stained as such but has no interest in it. The "witches" would also probably not be loyal towards him (considering the confessions of the witch trials). As such if I accepted his capability to create magic users they would have to be disloyal towards him and confess, but if they were loyal it wouldn't meet the requirements of the myths. Sorry to be a bother like this I'm really sorry to have wasted your time please have a nice day

[RoydGolden]

I'm sorry to be as rude as this considering you are giving me useful and valid advice but anyone Berserker gathered would really have to be indirect. I couldn't picture him as a corrupting influence, rather one who has been stained as such but has no interest in it. The "witches" would also probably not be loyal towards him (considering the confessions of the witch trials). As such if I accepted his capability to create magic users they would have to be disloyal towards him and confess, but if they were loyal it wouldn't meet the requirements of the myths. Sorry to be a bother like this I'm really sorry to have wasted your time please have a nice day

Fair enough. Just about all I know about the guy's legend is based on your sheet, so I'll obviously be taking your word above mine on what does and doesn't fit. I was just throwing off the idea. In any case, I see you've scrapped the second NP anyways. I don't think you necessarily had to nix it outright, but now that his first NP has been buffed up I admit it stands fairly well on its own.

Also, you really don't need to sound so apologetic all the time, seriously. I know it's not your intention, but at this point the constant self-deprecation almost comes off as insincere... (And no, you don't have to apologize for this as well)

[RoydGolden]

Point's addressed with the index, here's an updated version.

https://pastebin.com/CEDcvp0i

Once again, thanks NMR for doing 99% of the legwork.

Just found the time to look through this, but why are Loki and Sifr under the "Germanic" section while Odin is "Scandinavian"? Since they come from the exact same mythology, I'd recommend picking a section and sticking with it... (and IMO, Scandinavian would be the more fitting category). Also, I can't find my Caligula Lily sheet listed anywhere in the Classical Myth section, though maybe I'm just not looking closely enough.

Other then that, nice job on compiling everything!

[Zork Knight]

(Something something Third Ascension) source

True Name: Erik, The Phantom of the Opera
Class: Caster
Gender: Male
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Attribute: Earth

Strength: C
Endurance: D
Agility: C
Mana: C
Luck: D
Noble Phantasm: A

Class Skills:
Item Construction: C+
In addition to being able to craft all sorts of music, illusionism and opera-related equipment, Caster can also build automatons that look almost perfectly human, although they are not very fit for combat.

Territory Creation: A+
A skilled architect, Caster is capable of creating all sorts of different territories, including a Demonic Palace (superior to a Temple), an Opera House (a music-oriented Temple) and an Underground Lair (superior to a Workshop).

Personal Skills:
Angel of Music: EX
A unique skill, combining some effects from Alluring Nightingale and Protection of the Music God (False). Caster possesses an almost supernatural skill in playing musical instruments, and is not only an unrivaled singer, but also a master ventriloquist and vocal mimic and impersonator. He can use his voice and any instrument at his disposition to generate a wide range of mental interference effects, including charm, confusion, fascination, fear and pressure, without expending any Magical Energy.

I addition, he is able to extend the benefits of this skill to one other person (usually his Master), albeit at a reduced rank.

Innocent Monster: E
Due to the influence of the novel The Phantom of the Opera, Caster's face has been transformed into a ghastly and skeletal visage, truly worthy of the title Le Mort Vivant.


Noble Phantasm

Don Juan Triumphant

From Hell Shall My Love Song Free Me

- Anti-Unit (Self), Anti-Army, Rank A

Erik's masterpiece, an opera to which he dedicated over two decades of his life. Althouh it is based on Mozart and Lorenzo Da Ponte's Don Giovanni, it feels like a completely different work. Whereas the original blends comedy and melodrama, the Phantom's rendition is an infernal work fueled by his own tragedy, that propagates the misery of his life as a hellfire that consumes its audience.

Don Juan Triumphant can be performed by Caster using either his own voice or a musical instrument. During every turn of the performance, the targets must succeed at a Luck Check to avoid being fascinated by the music and left actionless. At the start of every turn, all fascinated targets are affected by a demonic flame that burns their life and Magical Energy. Whenever a target perishes to this demonic flame, Erik receives a permanent boost to his Mana and Luck parameters, as the "Wings of Love" lift him higher and higher, closer to a true Angel of Music.

Lore

The protagonist of Gaston Leroux's Le Fantôme de l'Opéra. A man born with a hideous, death-like face, rejected by both his parents. After running away from home, he lived a nomadic live, wandering across the Old World. Erik worked as freak show act, a magician, an architect, an inventor and even a political assassin, before returning to his homeland of France, where he wanted to settle down and work as a contractor.

However, when he was given the job of constructing the Paris Opera, the artist within him once again awakened. He decide to construct a "world" for himself to live inbeneath the theatre, away from the rest of mankind that had rejected him, where he could work on his art alone.

After decades living isolated, he became obsessed with Christine Daaé, a young opera singer. And from that obsession, a great tragedy was born, and Erik almost became a monster befitting of his face. Ultimately, however, his love for her saved him, and he died a real human.

While the Assassin summoned by Chaldea embodies the muderous side of the "Phantom of the Opera", Caster embodies the "genius" side of the Phantom, a man so skilled he was mistaken for the Angel of Music by Christine Daaé. He is a true gentleman, different from Assassin, who merely plays the role of a gentleman. They are definitely the same person though, but it is unclear who is closer to the "real" Phantom who haunted the Paris Opera near the end of the 19th Century.

Although he is no longer a muderous maniac, he has no qualms about killing Servants and Masters participating in a Holy Grail War. His wish for the Grail is to have another chance at life, this time as a normal human with a normal face.

[sherlock1110]

Yes, this is far better than the GO Phantom, thank you.

[RoydGolden]

Yes, this is far better than the GO Phantom, thank you.

I was kind of thinking the same thing too, as a matter of fact. Helps that his NP is actually based off something from his legend rather then made up altogether...

[Skull]

I was kind of thinking the same thing too, as a matter of fact. Helps that his NP is actually based off something from his legend rather then made up altogether...

For what it's worth, the GO version of Erik seems to be based on the '89 film adaptation which really ramped up the horror/gore with Erik collecting the skin of his murder victims which I believe is what the GO NP is meant to be referencing.

I wonder if Nasu (or whoever created him) ever actually read Leroux's original novel?