The reason why Yaldabaoth is an Alter Ego is explained in his Omni Creator skill. Alter ego fundamentally comprised of serveral components. Passionlip for example is made from Parvati, Durga and Brynhild. And tamamo cat is presumably a combination of the tamamo nine as an alter ego. Yaldabaoth has the ability to basically choose his component by making everyone believe he is the "real version". Effectively impostering as them.
Strength- C
Agility- C+
Endurance- C
Mana- D
Luck- B-
NP- B
Personality
Stoical and aloof. His experiences with betrayal have left Saber naturally distrustful of others, leading him to hesitate to truly open his heart up to anyone. He follows a rather merciless code of justice, believing in paying good unto good and evil unto evil. Those who betray their comrades are even lower than beasts in Saber's eyes, and if someone breaks his trust then he won't hesitate to cut them down on the spot. His seven years as a wolf have taught Saber compassion for the plight of animals, abhorring anyone who'd treat them cruelly or exploit them for human benefit.
He also shows some beastly characteristics himself. He purrs when happy, lets out a low growl when angered, sometimes howls at the moon and is far more comfortable sleeping outdoors under the starry sky than in a bed. Though Saber has long since outgrown his past as a beast, it seems that some old habits are hard to break. Saber is ashamed of his animal vestiges, seeing them as a painful reminder of the indignity he endured, and will become greatly flustered if they are ever pointed out.
That said, towards a Master who has earned his trust Saber may begin to show his animal traits more openly, perhaps even letting them pat his head at higher levels of affection. Like any puppy dog, he is hostile to strangers but those who have earned his trust could not possibly ask for a more loyal or affectionate companion.
Likes: faithfulness, dogs, head pats (won't admit it)
Dislikes: betrayal, animal cruelty
Talent: lycanthropy
Natural Enemy: his wife
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance- C
A power to neutralize the effects of Magecraft used against oneself. At this rank, spells with a chant below two verse are cancelled, proving difficult to cope with the likes of High Thaumaturgy or Greater Rituals. Showing no particular resistance to sorcery in his legend, and possibly having fallen victim to a curse by his treacherous wife, Saber sports only a moderate rank in this Skill unbecoming of his Class.
Riding- C (N/A)
Ability to ride animals. At this rank, most mundane mounts can be utilized at an average level of skill, but not Phantasmal or Divine Beasts. A suitable level of competency for an experienced knight such as Saber, he possesses Riding at this rank despite lacking any anecdotes of handling mounts in his legend.
Since a wolf has no business riding anything, this Skill is sealed after the invocation of his second Noble Phantasm.
Personal Skills:
Animal Dialogue- B+
The ability to communicate with animals that do not share a "language of words". His lycanthropy as well as having spent seven years in the wild has given Saber a natural kinship with animals, allowing him to exchange even complex ideas with ease. Especially effective regarding canines.
Monstrous Strength- C
An inherent ability of monsters and beasts; denoting the power to raise one's Strength for a given duration. At this rank, Saber can grant himself a rank-up in Strength lasting for roughly a quarter of battle. When his second Noble Phantasm is deployed, the effective rank of this Skill rises to A, granting a rank-up to Strength that persists for the entirety of combat.
Instinct- B
A form of sixth sense that allows one to identify the best possible course of action during battle. Because this Skill allows for the prediction of trajectory, it is possible to avoid attacks from firearms. At a B-rank, Saber's honed sixth sense nearly reaches the level of predicting the future, halving all penalties caused by visual interference. Saber's lupine instincts, supplemented with his combat experience as a knight, have garnered him a high rank in this Skill.
Information Erasure- D-
A Skill that erases records of a Servant's existence and actions following the conclusion of an engagement. Almost nothing is recorded of Saber other then his very existence as a "Werewolf-Knight". It is unknown whether his lycanthropy was originally a blessing, a curse or some other factor altogether.
At only a low rank, this Skill merely somewhat muddles Saber's image in the minds of those who observed him, leading them to forget all details of him other than those of a "knight" and "werewolf". Paradoxically, because his hidden lycanthropy is the only trait for which Saber was remembered, those recalling Saber will be left with the vague impression of him as a werewolf even if they never actually witnessed him transform. Since the number of Arthurian knights who were werewolves could easily be counted on one hand, this Skill is actually a hindrance to concealing his true identity.
Noble Phantasms
Bisclavret
Sword Of The Wolf-Knight
Rank: D+
Type: Anti-Unit~Team
The sword of Sir Marrok. As its true name has been lost to history, Saber invokes it by a Breton word for "Werewolf", which is also the name of the most famous telling of his legend. Like many holy and cursed swords, Bisclavret has the power to amplify its wielder's Mana and release it as a blast of destructive power. Alluding to Saber's nature and title as the "Wolf-Knight", magical energy discharged through this blade will take on the semblance of monstrous wolves.
Being essentially constructs of Saber's Mana these wolves have a limited degree of autonomy equal to low-grade familiars, capable of hunting Saber's foes over a short distance. Upon colliding with any solid surface the "wolf" will detonate in a spherical burst of magical fire. This Noble Phantasm is extraordinary Mana-efficient and Saber is easily able to create a "pack" of up to several dozen wolves at once, having them converge on his opponent for an explosion tantamount to an A-rank physical attack.
Seven Years A Werewolf
Heartbroken Knight's Curse
Rank: B
Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
A transformation-type Noble Phantasm that is only usable when Saber is at night, under the light of the moon and discards any clothing he possesses. Once these conditions are fulfilled Saber can invoke this ability to assume the form of a Werewolf- a powerful Phantasmal Beast with silvery fur and gleaming amber eyes.
While in wolf form all of Saber's parameters other then Luck and Mana are ranked up by two and his Monstrous Strength is made permanently active. He can also emit a sonic barking attack able to shatter glass and instill fear in lesser beasts. Because Saber in this form is unrecognizable as his human self, the activation of this Noble Phantasm also serves to obscure all details of Saber's stat sheet. To observers, he appears to be nothing more than an exceptionally powerful and dangerous wolf.
Saber's human reason and personality persist in his lupine state, but he will have difficulty expressing them without the ability to speak or write. He can only return to human form while in proximity of the clothes he wore before transforming, so if they are stolen or destroyed he could potentially end up trapped as a wolf forever. Due to misgivings from his past life Saber will refuse to utilize this Noble Phantasm unless he trusts his Master, and can be sure his clothing is secured for him to revert back.
This goes without saying but, as he is unable to wield a sword while in wolf form, Saber's Bisclavret Noble Phantasm is sealed while this one is active.
It is unknown what the reason is behind Saber's lycanthropy, for no origin or explanation was outlined in his legend. It could be a blessing from the gods, a curse from his unfaithful wife who dabbled in sorcery or simply an inherent trait of Saber's bloodline tracing back to ancient monsters or divinities...
Last edited by RoydGolden; November 14th, 2018 at 12:13 AM.
That's a High Servant, which Melt and Lip are. FGO made it a Skill. Don't confuse High Servant with Alter Ego.
Then what is Alter-Ego exactly? It's not Moon Cell exclusive because the Tamamo Nine qualify, so presumably it's something to do with being the offshoot of a deity?
Also I figured "Top Servant" was just referring to tier-levels rather then anything more specific. Wasn't Karna called one as well?
Alter Egos are just fragments of a greater whole: the Sakura Five were born of BB, Kiara from Beast III/R. The Tamamo Nine need no explanation.
And yes, Karna, Artoria, Altera and Iskander have all been called top Servants. I don't see what that's got to do with anything.
So by that logic Yaldaboath would definitely qualify, seeing as he's a fragment of the wisdom goddess Sophia. Weirdly though, from the way you've described it, it almost sounds like any Servant could fit that definition, due to being by definition incomplete fragments of a greater Heroic Spirit.
And regarding "top" versus "high" Servants; wasn't there some confusion at one point where one of those terms was translated as the other?
- - - Updated - - -
Originally Posted by Kotonoha
Alter Ego is just like
an alternate personality that's become a separate entity
It's occurred to me that a great analogy for this would be Altair from Re:Creators.
Sir Marrok: Looking at the way you've structured him Royd, he doesn't feel overly inclined to be a Saber (indeed the Bisclavret NP seems to be the reason behind that in the first place) and in my opinion could be easily fitted to be a Berserker with more focus on the lycanthorpy. It may be a bit presumptuous to ask but was it QoF that inspired the sheet by chance?
Sir Marrok: Looking at the way you've structured him Royd, he doesn't feel overly inclined to be a Saber (indeed the Bisclavret NP seems to be the reason behind that in the first place) and in my opinion could be easily fitted to be a Berserker with more focus on the lycanthorpy. It may be a bit presumptuous to ask but was it QoF that inspired the sheet by chance?
I thought of making him a Berserker but it wouldn't really fit since he never lost his reason even in beast form. He's Saber because he's a knight and had no anecdotes to justify slotting him into any other Class.
So I stumbled across an old sheet for Edmond Dantès that I gave up halfway when Avenger Dantes came out.
But upon looking at it, it made me think how cool it would be to see a Dantès-Lily from before his escape from Château d'If...somehow, because I've no idea how that would even work as a sheet. Perhaps that could be a challenge for the future, since I've already got about six other sheets that need finishing.
"Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"
(Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)
So I stumbled across an old sheet for Edmond Dantès that I gave up halfway when Avenger Dantes came out.
But upon looking at it, it made me think how cool it would be to see a Dantès-Lily from before his escape from Château d'If...somehow, because I've no idea how that would even work as a sheet. Perhaps that could be a challenge for the future, since I've already got about six other sheets that need finishing.
Hey, I did a Cain Lily based entirely on his life as a farmer before becoming the First Murderer. Next to that, I'm sure someone could find (read; make up) enough material for a Dantes Lily Servant. Also, before he was caught or before he escaped? Because if the latter, I can't see "trapped in a hellish prison on false charges after getting the love of your life torn away from you" as the kind of happy and fluffy material Lily Servants are made of...
Class : Caster
Identity : Timun Mas
Origin : Indonesian Folktales
Alignment : Neutral Good
Legend of Timun Mas
Once upon a time in Java, there was a poor widow named Mbok Srini that lived alone in her humble house on the edge of the jungle. She felt so lonely and prayed to the gods to bless her with a child. One night in her dream, she envisioned something wrapped under a tree of the jungle. She took this dream as an omen, an answer for her prayer. She later went to the jungle to search for something wrapped inside a cloth under a tree, she expected to find a baby to take care. Finally she discovered the object wrapped inside a cloth under the tree exactly as her vision in her dream. When she unwrapped it, there was no baby inside the wrapped cloth but only a seed of cucumber. Suddenly she heard a monstrous laughter; a green-skinned giant named Butho Ijo (Javanese: "Green Giant") appeared behind her. The green giant told her to plant the cucumber seed and she will have a child. She must nurture the child, however when the child had grown up, Mbok Srini must give the child back to Butho Ijo. The giant wished to eat the child. Eager to have a child, Mbok Srini agreed with Butho Ijo's deal.
Mbok Srini returned to her home and planted the cucumber seed in an orchard behind her house. Later, a magical golden cucumber grew from its seed, and when Mbok Srini took the cucumber and opened it, a beautiful baby girl appeared inside it. Thus, she named the baby girl Timun Mas which means "golden cucumber". Year after year, Timun Mas grew to become a beautiful girl. She is a loving, kind and diligent child always willing to help and take care of an aging Mbok Srini. Just a week before Timun Mas' 17th birthday, Butho Ijo appeared in front of Mbok Srini's house and reminded her about her promise, and announce that within one week he will return to collect Timun Mas. Mbok Srini is so sad and fearful of the horrible fate that awaits her beloved child. Mbok Srini heard that there is a powerful rishi that resides in a mountain nearby. She hastily went to the mountain to seek help from a wise old hermit residing on said mountain. After hearing her story, the old hermit gave her four small bags of cloth with something inside it. The four objects inside the bags are cucumber seeds, needles, salts, and terasi (shrimp paste). The hermit told Mbok Srini to give these objects to Timun Mas and tell her to throw them when she is being chased by the giant. Mbok Srini returned home and told Timun Mas what to do if the green giant chased her.
Finally on Timun Mas' 17th birthday, Butho Ijo appeared at Mbok Srini's house to take Timun Mas as promised: he will eat the girl. Mbok Srini ordered Timun Mas to run for her life. Timun Mas was really scared and terrified and ran as fast as she can to try to escape the giant. The giant was furious and destroyed Mbok Srini's house while chasing Timun Mas. Finally, Butho Ijo caught up to the fleeing Timun Mas. In distress, Timun Mas opened one of her four cloth bags spreading cucumber seeds behind her. Suddenly a large cucumber vine appeared and strangled the giant's body, trapping him so that he can’t move. This gave Timun Mas time to escape further. However the powerful giant finally managed to break free and continued his chase. Timun Mas opened her second bag and spread needles behind her. Suddenly the needles transformed into a bamboo forest with sharp tips that wounded the giant badly. The giant was badly wounded stuck with sharp bamboos, however he managed to get through the sharp bamboo forest and caught up to the running Timun Mas again. She opened her third bag and spread salts behind her back. Suddenly a sea appeared behind her drowning the evil giant. However the giant managed to swim through the sea and continued to chase her. Timun Mas, once again, almost got caught and opened her last bag. She threw the terasi behind her and continued to run desperately. Suddenly the terasi shrimp paste transformed into sea of boiling volcanic mud. Butho Ijo was stuck inside the boiling hot mud, drowned and died. Timun Mas finally survived and return to her mother Mbok Srini, and they lived happily ever after.
Personality
Caster is a kind, confident and somewhat tomboy girl, she is the kind of girl that anyone would love to accompany and she herself enjoys the company of others. This is partly because in her life she never got many friends because she lived on the edge of a jungle to accompany her aging mother. She also is really loyal and faithful towards her Master and likes to do chores for them even when she’s not asked to, considering herself to be a literal servant or maid for them, though, in reality, this is only because she wished to win the grail in order to fulfill her own wish to live a normal life, not bound by anyone's desire or a fixed purpose.
Likes : Cucumber, doing chores, sewing.
Dislikes : Giants, dangerous situation.
Talents : Being a maid, cooking, gardening.
Natural Enemy : Butho Ijo.
Summoning Catalyst : Fossilized golden cucumber fruit.
PARAMETERS
STR : E
END : E
AGI : E+
MGI : B
LCK : A
NP : B+
CLASS SKILLS Territory Creation : C
A Caster-class Skill. It is the Skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus, such as for the purpose of collecting mana. Caster does not have the knowledge to build a “Workshop”, but she can create something close to it as a result of the usage of her Noble Phantasm.
Item Creation : C-
A Caster-class Skill. It is the Skill to manufacture magical items, from implements of war to items for mundane use. Also, this Skill requires time to gather components and manufacture items. Though being potentially able to, Caster does not have the knowledge to manufacture an item by magical means. She can, however, produce various items by putting her Noble Phantasm into practical use, like producing magical cucumbers with healing properties. Aside from that, she also can create various items for daily uses.
PERSONAL SKILLS Ephemeral Dream : A+
A Skill that represents one's life born from illusions/from a person's desire. Caster was an existence born from a wish of a certain lonely widow and a certain deal she bargained with a demon called Butho Ijo. This means that Caster is the result of 2 different desires: the widow, who only wished a child to accompany her lonely life, and the demon, who desired her for... something else. She had killed the demon Butho Ijo who wished to consume her, and when the old widow whom she considered as her mother died, her purpose and reason to exist also ended. She is able to answer the summoning of the grail because she had an unfulfilled wish, that is, to live and see the world as a normal person, not bound by anyone's desire or a fixed purpose.
Protection of the Rishi : A
A skill denoting the protection and blessings given by a Rishi, Seer of Vedas. For Caster, this skill makes it possible to use her Bags of Miracles Noble Phantasm, also provides rank up to Agility in a situation where Caster is escaping or running away from danger, this bonus may increase depending on the level of danger that threatens her.
NOBLE PHANTASM Empat Kantung Ajaib Four Bags of Miracles
Rank : B+
Type : Anti-Unit, Anti-Army
The four cloth bags that Caster received from a Rishi of Mount Gundul, each of them contains cucumber seeds, needles, salt and shrimp pastes (terasi). While each of the bag is enough to be qualified as a single Noble Phantasm, when combined in a single attack, its powers are equal to A ranked Noble Phantasm. The usage of each attacks are also similar, that is, simply by trowing the content of the bags into a certain area. Caster can resupply the contents of each bags simply by putting in the same item into the bag, but each use of the contents requires a rather large amounts of magical energy.
Biji Timun Cucumber Vines - Snare
Type : Anti-Unit
The bag that that contains the cucumber seeds. When the seeds are thrown into the ground, the seeds will instantly grows into a large cucumber field, each cucumber plants in the field have large and thick vines that Caster can control to ensnare or bind targets with the sheer number of the vines. However, enemies with sufficient strength or can easily break free from these vines, and these plants are vulnerable to fire attacks and can also be easily cut by most weapons. These cucumber plants also can produce large amounts of sweet and delicious cucumbers that have low healing properties. At best, these vines can be used to temporarily slow down enemies, and at worst, the enemy can even heal themselves by eating the cucumber fruits.
Jarum Bamboo Needles - Skewer
Type : Anti-Unit
The bag that contains the needles, which Caster has arranged carefully to avoid piercing herself when attempting to grab them from the bag. When the needles are thrown into the ground, they would be transformed into dozens of sharp and thorny bamboo trees which will impale or at least, pierce the enemy with dozens of bamboo spears. Similar to the cucumber vines, this attack heavily relies on the element of surprise. Caster can also build a makeshift house using these bamboos.
Garam Sea Waters – Soak
Type : Anti-Army
The bag that contains huge amounts of... salts. The salts are sprinkled into the ground, and after 4 minutes, the ground that the salt touched will be transformed into deep sea waters that negate any magical abilities of anyone that touches the water and also has a low chance to inflict paralysis. The enemies that are trapped in the ‘sea’ can escape the waters simply by swimming to the edge of the water, but Caster can expand the size of the ‘sea’ by simply sprinkling more salts into the waters. With the help of the blessings she received from a certain Rishi, Caster can avoid being soaked by her own waters and is immune to its effects. The sea will vanish after several hours and the ground will return to normal as if it was just an illusion. This power can also be used to make a makeshift pool of some sort.
Terasi Volcanic Mud - Sink
Type : Anti-Army
A bag that contains fermented shrimp pastes, also known as terasi. Unlike the others, this power can only be activated after activating the previous, Sea Water power. When the terasi is thrown into the sea water, the water will instantly be changed into a large swamp of boiling mud. These mud are highly adhesive and will suck in anything that touched it. It also disables the magical circuit of whoever that directly touches it, and has moderate chances to cause paralysis. Just like the sea, these mud will also vanish after several hours.
Timun Mas Beautiful Golden Cucumber
Rank : D
Type : Anti-Unit (Self)
A Noble Phantasm in the form of a golden cucumber seed. It is the seed that Caster’s adoptive mother, Mbok Srini received from Butho Ijo, and after a certain bargain made between her and Butho Ijo, Mbok Srini agreed to plant the seed behind her house. After some days, the seed quickly grows into a cucumber plant which bore fruit a giant golden cucumber, and from inside the cucumber, Mbok Srini discovered a beautiful baby girl, thus she named the baby, “Timun Mas” which means Golden Cucumber. In other words, this Noble Phantasm is Caster’s body itself, that was born from the golden cucumber seed.
Upon activation, Caster’s human body will undergo a transformation into a body composed of plant cells and organs, specifically the golden cucumber plant. This body works similarly to a human body, but it has several differences and special abilities. Her skin is composed of the cells and organs similar to the organ that composed the leaves of a plant, which enables her to generate energy, both magical or physical, via photosynthesis. This form allows Caster to transform her limbs into vines that can lengthen to a limited extend. Caster also can produce cucumber fruits that can grow from her palm.
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I really need to update the index...
Last edited by 34; September 2nd, 2017 at 06:37 PM.
It's pretty cool. The NPs are all creative and her personality is cute. Out of curiosity, where did you find the FC, since it actually seems to be drawn for the character in question?
I do think you under ranked her Agility and over ranked her Magic though. From what you presented she spent the entire active part of her legend simply running away from a actual flesh eating bugaboo and what magical feats she did perform to escape she did so using stuff given to her by someone else rather than through her own mystical abilities.
I feel a C Rank Agility and C Rank Magic (cuz she's basically a phantasmal plant and that counts for something) is more representative here. Just a suggestion though.
Also I think none of Empat Kantung Ajaib's effects are quite at A Rank NP level. Even the final lava mud trap is B rank at best. So you can probably down rank that whole NP to B.
Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; September 2nd, 2017 at 01:50 PM.
I do think you under ranked her Agility and over ranked her Magic though. From what you presented she spent the entire active part of her legend simply running away from a actual flesh eating bugaboo and what magical feats she did perform to escape she did so using stuff given to her by someone else rather than through her own mystical abilities.
I feel a C Rank Agility and C Rank Magic (cuz she's basically a phantasmal plant and that counts for something) is more representative here. Just a suggestion though.
Also I think none of Empat Kantung Ajaib's effects are quite at A Rank NP level. Even the final lava mud trap is B rank at best. So you can probably down rank that whole NP to B.
Thanks for the feedback!
Actually, I gave her an agility boost via Protectio of the Rishi skill, and also her NPs are mainly used to slow down enemies, so that should compensate her low agility stat.
Also, her magic stat is boosted by her Ephemereal Dream skill and like you said, she's basically a phantasmal plant, though maybe I should rank it down to B or C just like what you said.
Yeah, but I specifically said that if they're combined in a single attack, the overall damage would equal to A ranked NP, but yeah, I shoul tone it down to B++ or something.
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Originally Posted by RoydGolden
It's pretty cool. The NPs are all creative and her personality is cute. Out of curiosity, where did you find the FC, since it actually seems to be drawn for the character in question?
Glad you liked her!
As for the FC, Legend of Timun Mas is quite popular in Indonesia or even Malaysia, so there's many artworks or drawings that can be found by a simple google search of "Timun Mas".
somewhere on some continent, in some random city of some merit.
Gender
Posts
847
Cain 2.0
true name: Cain.
Class: grand assassin.
Alternate classes: beast, avenger.
Likes: conversation, fresh air, and large cities.
Dislikes: solitude, bible, his history.
Natural enemies: lucifer morning star, Alaya, Michael and other ark angel.
parameters:
STG:B-
END: D
AGI: B+
MAG: D
LUCK: E
background: Cain is the immortal walker and first murderer of the bible, his life was peaceful until one day God chose able in a fit of jeloues rage Cain killed his brother able with the first blade ever crafted for his transgressions God cursed him with Immortality and solitude, after that he joined In some wars and even hired himself out to kingdoms and empires thou no matter what the other sides would never even talk to him, sure they would pay but then they would forget about him soon after words, it was not torture that was physical but rather mental he could walk among men, talk to them, even have sex with them yet it's not that they don't know he's there only they will not notice him, reamber him, or even react to him in any meaningful way, it would be better if they did not react but they did but more in a way of title disinterest that was his life he could rape, kill, or even torture someone and they would simply not care, notice, or even remember him.
Personality: do to living a life truly alone do to the mark of Cain his pyckie has taken quite the beating and the HGW itself he sees as the ultimate blessing for he can now talk to peaple and do things to peaple and they will notice. his wish for the grail is to always to be seen to no longer be cursed with entrant solitude. he an outspoken highly emotional person but at the same time he's cold and rational or to put it bluntly Cain at most times is cold and rational, however at the moments he does show emotion it is at an extreme.
Appearance:
Hight: 6"1
wight: 180 pounds.
Eye color: red.
Aparel: black trench coat covering a formal shirt with loose fitting black leather pants and and closed toed shoes.
Hair: blond and neatly cut.
facial features: symbols written in ancient Hebrew over his right eye that glows with a mysteries red aura.
class skills:
presence concealment N/A.
personel skills:
blood magecraft
a skill which allows one to utilize magecraft without using ones own mana, but instead utilizing blood spaceifully the blood of magus to activate trap based spells and curses, cain experimented and dabbled in magecraft simply as method to keep his sanity, altho normally he would not be able to dos much complex spells such as the traps he does with his blood magecraft do to his low rank in mana, he compensated by finding a way to use blood and a extremely small amount of his mana to activate it, thou with magus blood he does not need even need to use his own mana giving him incentive to chase down other masters so he can activate for more power and complex and traps. This class is a skill he posses in the avenger class but not beast.
Mastery of skills,A
a skill given to those who have mastered multiple skills and technques, rank is based on skills known those of A rank have learned every skill known to man with the exception of skills classified as NPs, those of EX have had more then one skill reach beyond the level of perfection althou it would require an NP to reach EX. Do to his immortality assassin has learned
All of mans techniques and mastered them, however he has never perfected or mastered a technique to legendary levels, in this way he equals those legendary techniques by posses a enough techniques and skills to equal that of legendary techniques altho assassin does admins this won't let him win a battle of attrition.
Vampirism.
A skill that allows one to drink blood in order to fill mana and give one a minor boost in stats. Do to modern misconceptions of him haveing something to do with vampires, he has taken on the traits and ability of vampirism.
Mystic Eyes of murder.
As cain is the first murderer and the first man to kill another man he has this skill as representation of that deed, it shows him the best and most efficient to commit a murder, this skill is not able to be used against those who are not human(gods, monsters, etc) with exemption of Demi gods and vampires.
Item crafting, EX.
Do to being the first man to ever craft a blade he posses the skill item crafting althou he can craft swords, knives, and other blades, he can craft blades that are NPs of D rank becoming cursed blades with no special abilities, this skill is also necceary for one of his NPs.
NP:
mark of Cain:
eternal solitude, C.
One of the version of his mark of Cain, it is always active, it does make him invisible or make others forget about him it only makes other not notice him, one could say that it is presence concealment at the phantasmic level, and his presence is not known to servants until damage is done, making it so only master is aware of his presence throu the master servant pact, and is why he is grand assassin.
immortality, A++.
when activated whenever damage is done to him time reversed in his body to a point were damage was never in exchange for this immortality he looses a rank to his parameters.
wraith of God, the wraith of God 7th fold. A+++
His most useful and most powerful version of the curse, when're a servant or anyways does damage to any part of his body the one who inflicted the damage gets the damage done to the part they attacked 7 times.
first blade, EX.
This is the first blade created by man and by Cain, it's power is simple yet it's it spicy that makes it so powerful, it'sposses the ability to deny any and all defenses regardless of how powerful or strong that defense may be amd also wounds inflicted by the blade are extremely difficult to heal from, it requires 3 days to craft, the blood of Mage or magic creature, and a drop of cains own blood.
As someone who cared enough about Cain to write like five different versions of the guy, I feel obligated to comment on that Cain sheet.
It's obviously way better then your first, though there's still quite a few issues in need of working out. As usual, my own commentary is written out in blue.
Originally Posted by venomking
Cain 2.0
true name: Cain.
Class: grand assassin.
Alternate classes: beast, avenger.
Likes: conversation, fresh air, and large cities.
Dislikes: solitude, bible, his history.
Natural enemies: lucifer morning star, Alaya, Michael and other ark angel.
parameters:
STG:B-
END: D
AGI: B+
MAG: D
LUCK: E
background: Cain is the immortal walker and first murderer of the bible, his life was peaceful until one day God chose able in a fit of jeloues rage Cain killed his brother able with the first blade ever crafted for his transgressions God cursed him with Immortality and solitude, after that he joined In some wars and even hired himself out to kingdoms and empires thou no matter what the other sides would never even talk to him, sure they would pay but then they would forget about him soon after words, it was not torture that was physical but rather mental he could walk among men, talk to them, even have sex with them yet it's not that they don't know he's there only they will not notice him, reamber him, or even react to him in any meaningful way, it would be better if they did not react but they did but more in a way of title disinterest that was his life he could rape, kill, or even torture someone and they would simply not care, notice, or even remember him.
Personality: do to living a life truly alone do to the mark of Cain his pyckie (did you mean 'psyche'?) has taken quite the beating and the HGW itself he sees as the ultimate blessing for he can now talk to peaple and do things to peaple and they will notice. his wish for the grail is to always to be seen to no longer be cursed with entrant solitude. he an outspoken highly emotional person but at the same time he's cold and rational or to put it bluntly Cain at most times is cold and rational, however at the moments he does show emotion it is at an extreme.
Appearance:
Hight: 6"1
wight: 180 pounds.
Eye color: red.
Aparel: black trench coat covering a formal shirt with loose fitting black leather pants and and closed toed shoes.
Hair: blond and neatly cut.
facial features: symbols written in ancient Hebrew over his right eye that glows with a mysteries red aura.
class skills:
presence concealment N/A.
personel skills:
Why do none of his Skills except the second and last one have any ranks? Seems like something you forgot to fill in.
blood magecraft
a skill which allows one to utilize magecraft without using ones own mana, but instead utilizing blood spaceifully the blood of magus to activate trap based spells and curses, cain experimented and dabbled in magecraft simply as method to keep his sanity, altho normally he would not be able to dos much complex spells such as the traps he does with his blood magecraft do to his low rank in mana, he compensated by finding a way to use blood and a extremely small amount of his mana to activate it, thou with magus blood he does not need even need to use his own mana giving him incentive to chase down other masters so he can activate for more power and complex and traps. This class is a skill he posses in the avenger class but not beast.
Mastery of skills,A
a skill given to those who have mastered multiple skills and technques, rank is based on skills known those of A rank have learned every skill known to man with the exception of skills classified as NPs, those of EX have had more then one skill reach beyond the level of perfection althou it would require an NP to reach EX. Do to his immortality assassin has learned
All of mans techniques and mastered them, however he has never perfected or mastered a technique to legendary levels, in this way he equals those legendary techniques by posses a enough techniques and skills to equal that of legendary techniques altho assassin does admins this won't let him win a battle of attrition.
Expert Of Many Specializations is the canonical name for this Skill, so you should use that rather then making up your own. I doubt whether he should have this Skill honestly, since while immortality is a part of Cain's legend (albeit not really in the original Bible) it's quite a stretch from that to say he's some kind of ultimate polymath who mastered absolutely every technique ever.
Also, we already have a canon example of an A+ rank in this Skill from Hundred-Faced Hassan, who is quite far from having mastered "every technique known to man". Either give him a higher rank (which I wouldn't advise) or lower the actual effects to something more reasonable.
Vampirism.
A skill that allows one to drink blood in order to fill mana and give one a minor boost in stats. Do to modern misconceptions of him haveing something to do with vampires, he has taken on the traits and ability of vampirism.
Mystic Eyes of murder.
As cain is the first murderer and the first man to kill another man he has this skill as representation of that deed, it shows him the best and most efficient to commit a murder, this skill is not able to be used against those who are not human(gods, monsters, etc) with exemption of Demi gods and vampires.
Given how much you've wanked him, I'm surprised you haven't given him the Mystic Eyes Of Death Perception honestly.
Item crafting, EX.
Do to being the first man to ever craft a blade he posses the skill item crafting althou he can craft swords, knives, and other blades, he can craft blades that are NPs of D rank becoming cursed blades with no special abilities, this skill is also necceary for one of his NPs.
This is totally unnecessary, unfitting given his Class, plus he shouldn't need a specialized Personal Skill just to let him use his NP. I'd scrap this one altogether.
NP:
mark of Cain:
Why does this NP have no description? If it's meant to be part of his Eternal Solitude NP then you should include it under the same line, not two spaces higher.
eternal solitude, C.
One of the version of his mark of Cain, it is always active, it does make him invisible or make others forget about him it only makes other not notice him, one could say that it is presence concealment at the phantasmic level, and his presence is not known to servants until damage is done, making it so only master is aware of his presence throu the master servant pact, and is why he is grand assassin.
This is actually an interesting take on the Mark that I haven't seen before, though it sounds more like Information Erasure then Presence Concealment IMO.
immortality, A++.
when activated whenever damage is done to him time reversed in his body to a point were damage was never in exchange for this immortality he looses a rank to his parameters.
I appreciate you tried to give him a weakness here, but the execution is rather awkward. Assuming he gets a rank-down from every injury he regenerates and seemingly any damage will invoke its effects, then it means you could reduce all his parameters to E-rank for the rest of the War just by scratching him a bunch of times. Seems silly.
I'd either give it a different weakness entirely (like making it only partial damage-reduction a la Karna's armor NP) or make its effects only invoke against severe/lethal injuries to make the rank-down penalty more reasonable.
wraith of God, the wraith of God 7th fold. A+++
His most useful and most powerful version of the curse, when're a servant or anyways does damage to any part of his body the one who inflicted the damage gets the damage done to the part they attacked 7 times.
You've already encapsulated his immortality with the Mark NP, and giving him two A-ranked defensive abilities is far too overpowered. I'd suggest either scrapping this one entirely or making the curse only activate after Cain dies.
first blade, EX.
This is the first blade created by man and by Cain, it's power is simple yet it's it spicy (I think you meant 'precisely'?) that makes it so powerful, it'sposses the ability to deny any and all defenses regardless of how powerful or strong that defense may be amd also wounds inflicted by the blade are extremely difficult to heal from, it requires 3 days to craft, the blood of Mage or magic creature, and a drop of cains own blood.
Also, you don't have to make him a bro-con or anything (like I did), but given his murder of his brother is by far the defining element of Cain's legend it's weird to have only one reference to Abel in the entire sheet. At the very least I'd like to know his feelings about Abel, why he killed him, does he regret it, etc etc. Leaving that stuff out makes it hard to get an accurate gauge on his personality.
Last edited by RoydGolden; September 2nd, 2017 at 08:04 PM.
Originally Posted by Aridwolverine
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