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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #14861
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Class: Caster
    True Name: Ada Lovelace
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Place of Origin: England

    Strength- D
    Endurance- D
    Agility- C
    Mana- B+
    Luck- C
    NP- B

    Height/Weight: 169cm/62kg
    Likes: Technology, Solitude
    Dislikes: Socialising
    Talents: Hacking
    Natural Enemy: "Sempai"

    Class Skills:
    • Item Construction (C) - Although she had no experience in magecraft, Lovelace can create various machines and automatons. At this rank, she can more or less create any technology comprehendible by modern man.
    • Territory Creation (B) - Creation of a 'Workshop' becomes possible but due to Lovelace's personal tastes, it looks like an ultra modern computer lab.


    Personal Skills:
    • High Speed Incantation (C) - The capacity to recite spells at high speeds. In Lovelace's case rather than expedience in spell recitation, she accomplishes this by condensing her incantations in mathematical formulas.
    • Mathematics (A) - Measurement of knowledge and understanding in the field of mathematics.
    • Natural Born Genius (C) - A skill for those prodigies who were born with an unnaturally high intellect. Regarded highly among the other geniuses of her time, Lovelace is capable of retaining any new information she has acquired.


    Noble Phantasm

    Singularity The Digital Dimension (Anti-Technology) (B) - Lovelace wrote the first computer algorithm. All technology with a computing system derived from it. As the ancestor of modern technology, Lovelaces's Noble Phantasm allows her to interact and "communicate" with any and all technological devices. Alongside creating technological familiars, she can control them at will. She can instantly hack into any computer, bypass any firewall or automated defence, when technology is used against her, it will fail and turn on its user.


    Lore

    "The more I study, the more insatiable do I feel my genius to be for it."

    A British mathematician and writer, Augusta Ada King, Countess of Lovelace was the only legitimate child of George Lord Byron. Her mother promoted Ada's interest in mathematics and out of spite against her father, who believed she was insane for wanting to study and increase her knowledge. Often ill, she spent most of her childhood sick and studying from bed. Ada married William Lord King who was made Earl of Lovelace in 1838, and she became Lady Lovelace. Her educational and social exploits thanks to the influence of her husband brought her into contact with the likes of the author Charles Dickens, in which she used to further her education. Ada described her approach as "poetical science".

    As a teenager, she met and formed a close friendship with Charles Babbage whom she held the highest respect for, as he held for her. They supported and assisted each other's work, although she didn't gain the same recognition as him, she was simply happy to assist with the progression of humanity. She became chiefly known for her work on Charles Babbage's early mechanical general-purpose computer, the Analytical Engine. Her notes on the engine include what is recognised as the first algorithm intended to be carried out by a machine. Because of this, she is regarded as the first computer programmer.

    Due to constant illness weakening her as a child she is very insecure about her body. When not working with machines, she is working on her body, constantly trying to build more muscle. She is somewhat introverted by nature, preferring to work with computers and machinery. She doesn't mind talking with intelligent people she shares her interests or people she can gain knowledge from. One of her favourite companions was Babbage. They will both act very excited about their shared interests and bring out a better side of each other. Should she be summoned in the same war as Tesla, she will seek to study under him if possible but not if her master is compromised at all. She doesn't recognise Thomas Edison who's "only real accomplishment in the field of science was innovating the art of stealing credit from others."

    She has no true "Wish" of her own, desiring only to learn.


    ------------------------

    Caster is one of the classes I haven't made many sheets off so that's something to amend. I've had the idea for her since Babbage was released in Grand Order but I never felt the inspiration to finish her off till now. Yes she is one of those casters who never used magic but I couldn't think of a better class for her. Anyways, feedback is always nice.
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; June 25th, 2016 at 12:31 PM.

  2. #14862
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle
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    Will comment on Beethoven, Galileo, and Lovelace tomorrow. For now, I want to get this off of my chest so I can stop thinking about it and go to sleep.

    This probably won't be the best of my profiles, as I am somewhat sleep deprived. I have also recently discovered Overwatch, so...

    I know I should be posting new Servants, but I was really itching to revamp Kalki because I felt really unsatisfied with how he turned out... I also wanted an excuse to make a mostly robotic (ninja) Heroic Spirit, as unlikely and lore-breaking that would probably be.

    I'm not sure whether I should say that this is the same Kalki as my previous one, but later in life, or if this should overwrite my original Kalki altogether.

    For reference, the old Kalki is here

    So ladies and gentlemen... Kalki v2!


    Kalki

    faceclaim

    I'll handwave the Japanese by saying he was rebuilt by a Japanese group...

    Class: Rider
    • Alternate Classes: Saber, Ruler, Saver

    Name: Kalki
    • Other Names:

    Place of Origin: India (probably...?)
    Alignment: Neutral Good

    Parameters:
    Strength: A
    Endurance: - (equivalent to C) (due to Mechanized Body)
    Agility: A
    Magic: E-
    Luck: C
    Noble Phantasm: EX

    Skills
    Class Skills:
    • Magic Resistance A
      Cancel spells of A-Rank or below. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a "Magus Killer".
    • Riding A+
      Creatures on the level of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast scan be used as mounts. However, that does not apply to members of the Dragon Kind.


    Personal Skills:
    • Divinity A
      As an Avatar of Vishnu, Kalki has divinity of a very high standard, comparable to his fellow avatar Rama.
    • Pioneer of the Stars EX
      Kalki is the one who will usher in the next Satya Yuga, where the good in man will reign supreme for the next 1728000 years (or so the Puranas claim). A major turning point for humanity, to say the very least.
    • Mechanized Body A+
      A skill for those who have had body parts replaced with mechanical or robotic equipment. At high ranks, it causes the Endurance parameter to be nulled and makes it difficult for the Master to heal the Servant. In exchange, if the Servant has a power source such as a battery, generator, or reactor, prana consumption of the Servant is drastically reduced unless the Servant's power supply runs out. Kalki's body has been mechanized to the highest degree, with only his central nervous and respiratory systems remaining fully intact. The rest of his body has been either combined or entirely replaced with mechanical and electrical parts.

      In this state, he feels no pain from physical attacks and will not grow tired. As well, damage done to his Material Body will not affect his Spiritual Core unless his lungs, spinal cord, or brain are damaged. However, damage to his body must be repaired via Material Transmutation Magecraft in addition to regular healing, and his magical energy capacity is utterly absymal. As well, he is limited not by prana consumption, but by a removable energy source.

      In terms of how it handles damage, Kalki's "shell" can be considered a rough equivalent to Endurance C, but with a lot of caveats given the differences in properties between organic and inorganic material. It would be helpful to think of his entire body as armour.


    Equipment:
    • Submachine Gun: a submachine gun from Kalki's time. He uses this as his primary weapon whenever he wants to fight at range or conceal his identity. Like the guns of Oda Nobunaga, Francis Drake, and Billy the Kid, this weapon can damage Spiritual bodies.
    • Shuriken: the group that rebuilt Kalki's body got carried away... Kalki thinks they are silly, but uses them anyway.
    • Energy Source x10: Kalki starts with an energy reactor that reduces the prana burden on his Master, along with nine spares. Each Energy Source can be considered an equivalent to Independent Action A; at rest, they can supply him almost indefinitely, but strenuous activity will quickly deplete them. Kalki himself is not certain how it works, but theorizes it to be a Multi-Isotope Radio-Decay Cell.


    Noble Phantasm:
    Spoiler:
    Devadatta II: Legacy of my Loyal Companion (Anti-Army, C)
    At some point during his life, the white stallion Devadatta that Kalki trusted above all else, save for Brahman, died. The horse's remains were incorporated into the construction of a Mystic Code in the form of a racing motorcycle. Save for the ability to fly, this motorcycle has inherited a weakened version of the powers that the horse was blessed with, possessing Rank B strength and endurance and being able to go up to 310 km/h. As a Noble Phantasm, it does not require refueling or maintenance checks to function; however, having the motorcycle properly fuelled and maintained will reduce its prana upkeep to zero.

    Parabrahman: Evil Slayer (Anti-Evil, A+)
    The sword Kalki wields, named after the ultimate form of divinity, possesses an innate advantage over evil. A tulwar with a radiant white blade. Anything of adharma that it touches will receive massive damage, with the sword being able to bypass even the strongest of both physical and conceptual defenses. If the sword manages to strike a killing blow, the target will be instantly converted into prana and absorbed by Kalki while their souls are stored, giving him more energy; when Kalki dies, these souls will be released and brought into the presence of the Supreme Being rather than having their Origins recycled (or so Kalki claims; there's no way to prove it). However, it loses all its power against beings who act in line with the Dharma, becoming nothing more than a sword backed by A rank strength.

    Vishnu Revealed: Return to Vaikuntha (Suicide Attack, EX)
    The full glory of the Divine Spirit Vishnu will shine forth when this Noble Phantasm activates. In this four-armed form, with an appearance as bright as a thousand suns, he has access to the full extent of Vishnu's power. He will receive an immense power boost and transform into a being that is no longer a Servant, strong enough to dwarf others in power.

    However, his prana consumption will be absolutely enormous in this form; even the best of Masters would only be able to support him for five minutes at the most. And once the Noble Phantasm ends, so will Kalki's life, as he will "return to Vaikuntha"; for all intents and purposes, he will have died.


    Lore:
    Spoiler:
    Sometimes, prophecies don't go the way people expect them to.

    The tenth avatar of the Hindu deity Vishnu, Kalki is foretold as the harbinger of the end, the man who will close this age, the Kali Yuga, and usher in a new golden age, the Satya Yuga, allowing the cycle of the universe to restart. It is foretold that when humanity has completely forgotten the gods, Kalki will appear to rid the world of all wicked kings, false prophets, and evil people and to usher in a new golden age.

    What probably nobody expected was that at the time of his final victory, he could barely be considered human at all, with large portions of his body being replaced by robotics. During his campaign against the demon Kali, he was unexpectedly blindsided and was almost killed by the demon king in a manner not prophecied in the Puranas. Only after a robotic shell had been built around his body was he able to return to his original mission and complete the turning of the age.


    Personality:
    Spoiler:
    This version of Kalki is taken from the weeks immediately after his cyberization. As such, he is less sure of himself than if he had been summoned in his human form. He will constantly ponder his own mortality and consider the philosophical ramifications of losing the vast majority of his human body. Over time, however, he will regain his confidence and return to his old self. Once his confidence in himself and his purpose is restored, his serenity and beliefs in destiny will return, but he will also grow somewhat uncooperative, with a belief that: "All things will happen when the time is right. I will usher in the Satya Yuga when the whole world has fallen into depravity. Until then, I stay my hand."

    He has no wish for the Grail, believing himself to merely be the herald of the new age, which will certainly come in time. If presented with the opportunity to accelerate the coming of the Satya Yuga, he will decline, not wishing to upset the balance of the cycle of the Ages. However, due to his troubled state of mind in this form, it will be easier than normal to convince him to become more proactive.


    Miscellaneous:
    Likes: the good in the hearts of mankind, divinity
    Dislikes: the evil in the hearts of mankind, those who deny or defy divinity, "tacticool" and "mall ninja" equipment, Rama (or at least the GO version of Rama)
    Talents: sword fighting, caring for horses
    Natural Enemy: Gilgamesh, Rin Tohsaka
    Catalyst: a copy of the Kalki Purana in Sanskrit
    Notes: Do NOT enter into a cosmological or religious debate with him. Even with updated information concerning the nature of magic and reality from the Holy Grail, his still holds fast to his Hindu viewpoint. If you get him started, you will never hear the end of it.
    Last edited by Constructman; May 30th, 2016 at 02:35 PM. Reason: Feedback, clarification

  3. #14863
    夜属 Nightkin
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    This got a bit outlandish. Like the idea though.

    So how does Kalki handle damage done to him if he has a N/A endurance stat? What determines his HP (and how much) I guess is what I'm asking.

    What about powers or abilities that directly target or reference Endurance. Actually are there canon examples of something like that? There are some that reference Luck or Magic.

  4. #14864
    虚無の境:意識 Lily Emilio's Avatar
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    He will have effectively ceased being a Heroic Spirit and will have returned to his original state as a god. As such, his power will dwarf that of all of the other Servants in the Grail War.
    I like the idea of a self-perish attack, but you should word it like this "He gains an immense power boost and transform into a being that no longer a servant, strong enough to dwarf others in power", aka something similar to Vlad's Dracula NP because he pretty much went through kinda similar transformation yet he didn't become the real vampires (the DA) but a no name monstrousity. Servants are mere data copies of the real heroic spirit in the throne and their NPs should always act as a replication of said hero's power, not something super real.

  5. #14865
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Keep this and your old Kalki, it's very different so id say it warrants a V2 instead of an outright overwriting. This one is quite outlandish and different, but in a good way. With Endurance nullified, how does he take a hit? Is he fine because of the armour or is one solid hit all it takes?

    Since I forgot to comment on Galileo, I have to say the Noble Phantasm is rather inventive with the force manipulation that would cause havoc. All I can critique is maybe lower Natural Born Genius to B since despite her innovation certainly being a turning point, she doesn't have the same level as Tesla I think. Also if you wanted, you could add 'Innovation' as a skill like Nobunaga has to have a greater effect on those with mystery, especially those based in Christianity.
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; May 30th, 2016 at 06:31 AM. Reason: Galileo

  6. #14866
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theoneandonlyz View Post
    This got a bit outlandish. Like the idea though.

    So how does Kalki handle damage done to him if he has a N/A endurance stat? What determines his HP (and how much) I guess is what I'm asking.

    What about powers or abilities that directly target or reference Endurance. Actually are there canon examples of something like that? There are some that reference Luck or Magic.
    The way I thought of it was that Kalki doesn't have HP - only AP (armor points). Tough, but can't really regenerate unless you jump through a whole lotta hoops. Against normal damage, the robot body would probably be somewhat equivalent to Endurance C or B, but I felt that the many differences between a robotic and human body needed to be fitted in. In the case of something directly targeting Endurance, I'd say that it would have no effect on him...?

  7. #14867
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle
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    Beethoven: when using her normal spells, is she just making music from thin air? Or does she have an instrument playing? Deafness weak Constitution is a nice touch, though that could potentially bite her in the back.

    Galileo: so your interpretation of IC (False) is that it allows for construction of mundane items? Hm. And an NP based on telekinesis around a single focal point? Seems good, but a little plain... Maybe add another NP based on... Tower of Pisa?

    Lovelace: why is Babbage her natural enemy? As for Singularity, would she have trouble adjusting to digital tech, or would she be able to seamlessly adjust?

  8. #14868
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    The Galileo sheet is really good. I'm a little jealous since I'd wanted to do a genderbent Galileo for quite a while but never could think of fitting NPs. Oh well, good to see someone else got to it. I wouldn't say she needs another NP (Heliocentrism Theory is pretty powerful) but if you could work in something based off the Tower Of Piza that'd be nice.

    Lovelace's FC is amazing, as is usual for you (Hermes). Her personality is fun and it seems like she could play off Babbage in an interesting way. Singularity NP is a bit on the simple side, but pretty powerful when you think about it. Hope any Master facing her doesn't have an artificial heart or anything like that because otherwise- explodey!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    Beethoven: The Weak Constitution variant is nice as is having Mozart as the natural enemy. I like Regis Ductu for the potential one can use with it. The second one however seems a bit too similar to Shakespeare's in my own opinion.
    Huh. Funny. I didn't base it off of Beethoven's at all. It was actually based off of Rojuro's Bankai from the Bleach manga...

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Constructman View Post
    Beethoven: when using her normal spells, is she just making music from thin air? Or does she have an instrument playing? Deafness weak Constitution is a nice touch, though that could potentially bite her in the back.
    She just waves her baton around in the air and music spontaneously appears, RPG style. That's how I imagined it, anyway.

  9. #14869
    死徒(下級)Lesser Dead Apostle
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    One further question about Lovelace.

    What counts as "technological"?

    Technically, technology is "machinery and equipment developed from the application of scientific knowledge." With that definition, she would be able to control anything that evolved from simple machines! I don't see Lovelace being the type to be able to control things like blast furnaces, catapults, cannons, sewing machines, electric toothbrushes, stoves, missile launch systems... Unless that was what you were going for? Would restricting it to controlling computer-aided tech be more appropriate?

  10. #14870
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    The Singularity NP allows her to control pretty much all modern with a sort of computing system tech. So if someone had a pacemaker they'd be screwed. Same with online banking really.

    Babbage is her Natural Enemy cause he knows her best and could probably take her down with words.

  11. #14871
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Caster
    Homer



    Alignment: True Neutral
    Place of birth: Unknown
    STR: E
    END: E
    AGI: E
    MAG: A
    LUCK: B
    NP: A+

    Class Skills

    Territory Creation (B-): T
    he skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus. Creation of a "Workshop" becomes possible. Due to his reputation of a wandering bard, Caster's territory will rapidly degrade in strength if he is not present within it, however creating a new workshop is fairly easy for him.

    Item Construction (D): The skill to manufacture magical items. Caster only possesses the ability to write 'spell books', one-use scrolls containing an aria he has composed, the reading of which will allow for a specific effect. This is due to his talent as a poet.

    Personal Skills


    Protection of the Muses (True) (A+):
    A Skill that denotes the divine protection of the Muses, the goddesses of the arts. Makes possible to distinguish all kinds of sounds and play a masterful music performance. Furthermore, plus modifiers are applied to the exercise of music-based magecraft. As one of the greatest, if not the greatest of the epic poets, Caster enjoys the blessings of Calliope, the leader of the Muses and the one who governs over epic poetry. He uses his ability to discern and manipulate sound as a way of naturally compensating for his blindness.

    Weak Constitution (Blindness) (n/a): A weakness born of ill health, in this case blindness. Caster lost his eyesight due to a recurrent eye infection, however it is this, stripping him of his ability to work, that allowed him the time to begin composing his poetry, thus he refuses to view it as a debilitating condition, and instead sees it as a divine gift that allowed him to carve his name into history.

    Chronicler (EX): The skill denoting one who made a living by recording the lives of others. As the lives, and possibly even the names, of a vast number of heroes are only known to us because of the existence of Homer’s epics, it is this skill more than anything else that defines Caster. Should Caster come into contact with any heroic spirit he wove a tale about, even if they had only a brief mention in his writing, he will instantly have full access to all possible information about them. For a man who made his life’s work the recording of the tales of heroes, no fact about any hero is hidden from him.

    Divinity (E+): The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit, and the level declines when the Heroic Spirit's own rank as a Monster raises. It can also decrease due one's dislike for the gods. It also has an effect which reduces special defensive values called "purge defense" in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig. In some accounts, Caster was the son of a minor river spirit and a nymph, and was apotheosized after his death into a spirit of poetry.

    Noble Phantasm

    Ἐπικός Κύκλος
    Tales of Gods and Heroes


    (Anti-Army, A+): The greatest part of the body of Homer’s work, the grand epics of the Trojan Cycle, chronicling the Trojan War and the circumstances surrounding it. It is the foundation of Homer’s system of magecraft, and he quotes from it in place of his magical incantations. From its pages, Homer calls forth shadows of the miracles, heroes, gods and events enshrined in its verses. Though only a fraction as powerful as the real deals, even a shadow of, for example, a great hero of the world such as Achilles is an existence to be feared. For the poet Homer, these texts are his pride, and he will not hesistate to call on their power, reciting the tales as his magic calls them to unfold in front of him. Heralding as it does from the Age of the Gods, this magic is a fantasy that modern magecraft cannot think of reproducing.

    Lore
    Likes: The dark, heroes
    Dislikes: Uncultured people
    Talents: Storytelling
    Natural Enemy: Hesiod

    Caster is Homer (also known as Homeros), the mythical Greek poet most famous for composing the great epics of the Illiad and the Odyssey. Though he lived thousands of years ago, the fame he earned for writing these pieces of literature has caused his name to be remembered even to this day as one of the greatest epic poets of all time.

    Despite his fame, Homer is a friendly, frivolous man, who enjoys drinking, partying and composing amusing verses on the fly. Though he is blind, he doesn’t think that should stop him from having a good time, and he often overindulges. Though a silly man in many respects, he is deadly serious about poetry, but believes that shouldn’t stop him from enjoying it. He sincerely loves his art, and will doubtless appreciate anyone who shares his love.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  12. #14872
    Running away from Falconetti AsGryffynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    Because then people would confuse it with the other Create-a-Servant thread that's already in the fanfic subforum, and separate from this one also for no good reason.
    There are two of these threads?

    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    To be fair, I think Gryffyfn actually has a point here (as annoying as his username is to spell). Arturia (an Age Of Man hero) had an A++ Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm and another one that once invoked makes her unreachable by literally any form of attack up to the eleventh dimension, which is only saved from being hax by how she doesn't have it in her possession for 90% of the story. Cid ain't got nothing on that.
    Grif for short if you want...

    Exactly. Plus, I think Anti Fortress is just an Anti Army Noble Phantasm with smaller AoE and a more focused blast. They have less bloom and more raw concussive force aimed at destroying large scale structures rather than an army.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    And the cost of all that swag was being the CEO's wife.
    The cost of this is being the CEOs secretary...

    Quote Originally Posted by CanonRap View Post
    Please don't make the age of the legend (or any aspect when it comes down to it) factor in how powerful you want to wank your original Servant

    King Arthur is an immortal dragon girl with a planet defense laser AND a spear that can rip apart reality

    Edison wields all the Presidents of the United States and has a lion head

    Blackbeard is a weeaboo and attends pirate weeaboo conventions

    Just do what you want
    I will from now on...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mizukume View Post
    I don't really have a problem with your powerlevel wank or creativity. I specifically called out the demi-servant part because it is a Mash-only condition, an established term. Gil called her by that term over and over again and that shit is a really big deal with her in FGO, in fact it is one of the biggest mystery in FGO atm. So I'm mad when people throw the term around randomly, but I won't call you stupid for not knowing that. Now that you knew, why not just make up another term for that grail-juice-getto condition instead of using a term that has nothing similar to yours. I don't mind if you didn't know FGO lore, and you are free to keep calling your master-servant-weird-combo that way since this thread is mostly fanfic tier stuffs, but yea I am mad.
    Because I am being meta in the description, so it's not an in universe one (that'd be "Temporary Servant" or Assault Master)...

    Quote Originally Posted by mewarmo990 View Post
    lol yes it does. Strongly implied at the very least.

    which is presumably why it's supposed to be impossible, why Mash is the big, mysterious exception to the rule

    I mean, c'mon you could at least read the scenes that talk about it the most before using it.

    edit: well unless you wanna say "in my fan fiction universe, demi-Servant means this" and if so ignore me
    In this thread only?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    Beethoven: The Weak Constitution variant is nice as is having Mozart as the natural enemy. I like Regis Ductu for the potential one can use with it. The second one however seems a bit too similar to Shakespeare's in my own opinion.

    El Cid: Honestly, this is your 4th or 5th version of the character. I think its best you just let it go.

    Crying, honestly it was just coincidence. I have another one that's been in the works for a while with the same skill. Not that she'll show anytime soon.
    Hey, not everyone was as understanding as you were. I had to make a lot of mods and I could just drop him on his head to satisfy everyone's unrealistic expectations in one go, so I had to lower it bit by bit and ask input to make sure he was at the highest possible level where he'd seem decent and not monstrous...

    Suffice the next two servants have enough feats or are Methuselah enough to warrant me not unwanking them from their original profile sheets. For one, Nuada is a goddess that is not divine and can be a servant even though she's a goddess... And Ilia Muromets beat the Antichrist once... And El Cid is supposed to be three times more powerful than either in their original status sheets...

    Since these ones don't warrant any nerfing thanks to historical crap, I don't have to nerf them.

  13. #14873
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AsGryffynn View Post
    For one, Nuada is a goddess that is not divine and can be a servant even though she's a goddess... And Ilia Muromets beat the Antichrist once...
    I'm going to assume that you're genderbending Nuada, because otherwise your statement doesn't make since.
    Since when did Murometz meet "the Antichrist"?
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  14. #14874
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six SpoonyViking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AsGryffynn View Post
    The guy whose two swords don't even reach the A rank? You just nerfed one of the big names of Europe into obscurity.
    God Hand is a Noble Phantasm that reflects one of the most well-known myths of the Western cultural hemisphere and gives an ability unmatched by any other Servant - and yet, it's "only" Rank B.
    Gáe Bolg is an instakill attack against the majority of other Servants, but it's "only" Rank B.
    True Assassin's Zabaniya is another instakill attack (although one that's harder to pull off), except it isn't even Rank B.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by mewarmo990 View Post
    Ahnold is clearly OP because he couldn't actually do all the things he could in his movie roles.
    I am thoroughly disappointed that you couldn't get "I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last" or "Remember when I promised I would kill you last? I lied" in there somehow.

  15. #14875
    虚無の境:意識 Lily Emilio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AsGryffynn View Post
    Because I am being meta in the description, so it's not an in universe one (that'd be "Temporary Servant" or Assault Master)...
    Then just use that "Temporary Sevant" or Assault Master" term in your sheet. That way you don't have to come out and say "no no in my fanfic, demi servant term is not like the one in GO, dun misunderstand". If you did that in the first place, I wouldn't have been confused when reading your sheet lol.
    Last edited by Lily Emilio; May 30th, 2016 at 06:14 PM.

  16. #14876
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Rider:

    True Name
    : Olivia Cromwell

    Alignment: Lawful Neutral (slants towards 'Evil' at times)

    Alternate Class
    : Saber, Ruler

    Strength- D
    Agility- B
    Endurance- C+
    Mana- D
    Luck- C-
    NP- B

    Appearance
    :


    History: Rider is Olivia Cromwell, an English Puritan leader famous for her role in championing a revolt against King Charles I. Supported by the people on Earth and God in Heaven, Olivia believed that she could create a new, godly Britain where order, justice and tranquility reigned. For the sake of that ideal, she didn't hesitate to baptize her country in blood.

    Though she succeeded in ousting and executing Charles, that was only the beginnings of the conflicts Cromwell would face. Not long after rising to power, Olivia grew contemptuous of the petty squabbles of Congress and abolished it outright, declaring herself de-facto ruler of England in an unprecedented military coup. She gave herself the title 'Lord Protector' to set herself apart from Charles and his dynasty.

    If there was a fatal flaw to Olivia Cromwell as a ruler, it could only be that 'she didn't understand humans'. She- who sought to enforce her ideals upon the world- never truly recognized or permitted human faults and foibles. She became a tyrant, one even more loathed then Charles ever was.

    In time, the tides of revolution turned on her. As Cromwell grew weak from Malaria, she bore witness as the glorious Republic she crafted crumbled to pieces around her. As she watched, her mind could only focus on one single question. "Why?"

    "Why? I did so much, I fought so hard for this country, these people. And now... everything will just go back to the way it was with no change? All I've done will be in vain, the blood I've spilled will be erased, my sacrifices meaningless?"

    "Why? I don't understand it at all... why did things turn out this way?"

    For someone who'd lived her life in a state of perpetual certainty, assured that herself and the path she set upon was correct, this newfound doubt was like a dagger of pure ice piercing her heart. Her desperate prayer gone unanswered by God or the heavens, Olivia Cromwell breathed her last, departing from this world amidst an ocean of confusion and doubt. It was not even illness that ended her life, but simply loss of the will to live.

    Not long after, her Republic sounded its final death knell. Charles's son returned to London from exile and was welcomed to the throne with open arms. All grudges against kings and the royal lineage were forgotten for the time being, as the nation was simply glad to be rid of Cromwell's tyranny. That day came to be known as the Monarchy Restoration. Forever after it was agreed that the king's birthday was to be kept as a day of thanksgiving celebrating redemption from tyranny and the king's return to government.

    Nevertheless. Even if her life's work was set back to zero, England will never forget the name Olivia Cromwell. Whether she is called a hypocritical tyrant or a far-seeing revolutionary who took the first steps towards eventual Democracy...

    Revered as a hero or reviled as a villain... she will never be forgotten.


    Personality: A stern, cold woman obsessed with notions of 'order' and 'justice'. A strict Puritan whose religious values guide her every waking action. She detests the decadence of nobility and vowed to see it overthrown. In battle she shows a more deranged side, laughing madly while stained in blood from herself and her enemies.

    Though not revealing it, Rider is beset with doubt concerning her life, goals and actions. Witnessing the fall of her Republic shattered her seemingly invincible convictions and while she still upholds them in word, she no longer believes them as earnestly as she once had in life. Her only wish is to finally answer her deathbed question, "Was I truly in the right?" She seeks the Grail in order to quell the doubts ravaging her heart. To that end, she will reluctantly take up her sword and commence one last bloodbath, not for her God or country, but for herself.

    If her Master is a kind soul, her own disposition may soften somewhat to match. She'll become more like the person she was before taking up the mantle of Lord Protector, an idealistic girl who truly believed she could change England for the better. Regardless, she is still an austere person with serious manners. Rider holds a great fondness for English food, one of the few 'luxuries' she permits to herself. Eating or thinking about such food is one of the few cases where she'll express enthusiasm openly.

    Likes: 'justice', 'order', Protestants, English food
    Dislikes: Catholics, kingship, her own heart
    Talent: hypocrisy
    Natural Enemy: Charles I


    Class Skills:

    Riding (A)- Ability to ride animals. At this rank she can ride all mundane steeds with a high degree of skill, but not Phantasmal or Divine Beasts. This high is enough to have aptitude for the Rider Class.

    Magic Resistance (B-)- Cancels spells with a chant below three verses, proving difficult to affect even by the likes of High Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals. Though a comparatively modern hero, Rider's immense Puritan faith bestows her a high degree of protection to any spells originating from outside her faith. This includes Sacraments of the Catholic Church, though not ones deriving from the Protestant sect or universal Christian beliefs such as the divinity of Christ.


    Personal Skills
    :

    Protection Of The Faith (A)- A Skill afforded to those who sacrificed themselves for a religious view. Despite the name it is not a blessing from a higher existence, but rather absolution of body and soul that is born from faith. But at higher ranks, it has the tendency to cause abnormalities in the personality. Rider was a devout Puritan whose beliefs guided many of her actions as Lord Protector. At this rank, it has the side-effect of making her obsessed with notions of 'order' and 'justice' to the point where relating with others becomes difficult.

    Charisma (C-)- Ability to inspire others and lead an army. At this rank, the Servant can command and effectively use the abilities of a large number, about a thousand or so, of warriors. Rider famously championed a commoner revolt against King Charles I, taking the throne herself under the title "Lord Protector". While capable in times of war and turmoil, her coldness and inability to empathize with human foibles made her a poor leader in peacetime. Hence why her Republic collapsed only shortly after her own demise.

    Hypocrisy (B)- Nature of one who became the very thing they fought against. Though she deplored Charles I's tyrannical excess, Rider herself is widely considered to have been no better upon taking his place as ruler. Reflecting this, any king facing Rider suffers a Rank-Down in all parameters but, against those with a legend of fighting tyranny, the Rank-Down effect applies instead to Rider herself. To those who meet both such criteria, this Skill will simply not take effect at all.

    Military Tactics (C)- Tactical instinctive ability used not for single combat, but on a battlefield where many are mobilized. Rider was a skilled general who lead her troops to many victories in the English Civil War. She recruited soldiers from all walks of life and managed them with firm discipline on the battlefield.


    Noble Phantasms:


    Lord Protector- Fury Of Puritania (C++, Anti-Unit): A Noble Phantasm sublimating both Rider's intense fervor in spreading Puritanism and her unbelievable coldness in battle. It takes the form of an ornate ceremonial sword, with a blade of finest silver, slightly blunted tip and golden decorations adorning the hilt.

    It is actually two Noble Phantasms classified as one, 'Lord Protector' and 'Fury Of Puritania'. The former reflects her role as "protector of England" while the latter comes from her reputation as "an ice-cold demon that casts out enemies of England".

    Invoking the latter title, her blade is submerged in 'cold flames' of an icy blue palette. These flames do not radiate heat but rather, impossibly, sap it from the environment, rapidly freezing over whatever they touch other then the blade itself. Tongues of flame will be constantly lashing out from the blade, trying to spread to the surrounding area. By swinging the sword, Rider can project these flames outward in sweeping arcs calling to mind guillotine blades as they rip through the air. Based on her antipathy towards the concept of kingship, flames produced through this Noble Phantasm deal double damage against foes tied to nobility.

    When its title of 'Lord Protector' is invoked, the former ability is sealed for the remainder of battle and replaced with a different one. Rider becomes designated as rightful 'Protector' of the surrounding area, where upon the leylines of said area to routed to her to aid in 'defending' it. She also gains Battle Continuation (C) and Guardian Knight (B) while within the marked domain. However, there is a darker side to Rider's 'protection'. Given enough time, Rider may end up draining the area's leylines completely dry, leaving it a desolate husk.


    Old Ironside- My Loyal Cavalry Steed (B, Support): A Noble Phantasm representing the cavalry force Rider formed and led during the English Civil War. Known as 'Ironsides' from Cromwell's own title of 'Old Ironside', they were gathered from people of all walks of life, rich and poor, noble and commoner. An unmatched military force united by faith in God and a willingness to fight for one's beliefs.

    As a Noble Phantasm, this takes the form of a lightly armored, ash grey horse which Rider can summon to her side at will. It glows with a faint golden aura, reflecting Rider's belief that divine providence favored her and her army. As a squadron, the Ironsides were known for their resilience and ability to cut their way through enemy lines, traits which are also reflected in Rider's horse bearing the same name.

    Old Ironside, as Rider calls it, will never grow fatigued no matter how far it runs, while Rider herself obtains a Rank-Up to Endurance while atop it. It also has the ability to cut through and bypass any kind of obstacle or barrier, whether that be uneven ground, solid walls or even magical ones such as certain Bounded Fields. The horse will simply go through all of these as if they didn't even exist. Their is no obstacle that can impede its progress. It will smash through walls, trample over rough ground, shatter magical defenses and even ride directly up vertical surfaces if necessary. Such is the resolve of Rider and her army.

    Incidentally, cavalry in Cromwell's time were referred to as 'horses'. As such, it is hardly a surprise for her cavalry-type Noble Phantasm to take form as a literal equine steed...

  17. #14877
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Homer: I like him. His skills are well thought out, matching his personality perfectly. Particularly Territory Creation, Protection of the Muses (True), Blindness and Chronicler I also like how his noble Phantasm can turn into "Save Me Achilles!"

    Cromwell: Never thought I'd see a Cromwell sheet around here. He (Or she in your case) is one of the more famous of our tyrants, almost on par with Henry VIII. Cromwell's personality is close to the real life counterpart and I got a kick out of the Charisma at (C-) and the Hypocrisy skill. I'm also fond of the Lord Protector Noble Phantasm which mirrors the duality of Cromwell's psyche.

  18. #14878
    Quote Originally Posted by NMR-3 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Update pushed.
    A little late, I realize, and very minor, but for what it's worth "Marcius" Cassius Scaeva is Marcus. Also I wouldn't put
    Romula Augusta
    Romulus Augustus
    as Gothic/Germanic instead of Classical along with the other Romans but that could go either way I suppose.

    In other news, not wanting to make a post with just that nitpick, I've finally finished one of my other Servants meant to be in the same War as
    Romula
    Assassin
    and
    Scaeva
    Berserker
    .

    Class: Rider (Also qualifies for Saber, Archer, Berserker, and Gunner)
    True Name: Jalal ud-din Muhammad Akbar
    Master: Old guy with runes
    Sex: Male
    Height: 180cm
    Weight: 84kg
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Attribute: Man
    Armament: Sword, Guns

    STR: C
    END: C
    AGI: B
    MGI: D
    LUC: A
    NP: C

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance D: Grants protection against magical effects. Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy.

    Riding B: Expertise to ride animals and vehicles. Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts.

    Personal Skills:
    Charisma A: The natural talent to command an army. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. Can be said to have attained the greatest popularity as a human being. Rider was a much loved emperor.

    Siege Tactics C: Tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for sieges against fortified enemies. Bonus modifiers are provided during use of one's own Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm or when dealing against an enemy Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm.

    Golden Rule A: Measures one’s fortune to acquire wealth. As one of the richest men in history, money problems are completely unknown to Rider.

    Keywords:
    King of Ascetics
    One who is not only a king over many men of many faiths, but also himself a founder of religion. Rider was intensely faithful throughout his life, and despite this welcomed the insight of other religions, and even athiests, in an attempt to seek out the truth of the divine.
    -
    Zulfiqar
    "There is no brave youth except Ali, and there is no sword which renders service except Zulfiqar."
    The legendary sword of Ali, cousin of the prophet Muhammad. A scimitar ending in two points, which was given to Ali by the prophet. Not something he would normally possess, this Zulfiqar is a Noble Phantasm created by Caster to replace Rider's original, mundane sword.

    Noble Phantasms
    Topkhana Mughal: Grand Cannons of the Gunpowder Empire
    Type: Anti-Unit, Anti-Army, Anti-Fortress
    Rank: E~B++
    Range: 0-99
    Maximum Targets: 500 people
    The weapons which carved the Mughal Empire: Artillery. Not a Noble Phantasm unique to Rider, and in fact he made use of it far less successfully in life than some of the other emperors, but because he is the greatest among them, he naturally possesses their shared Noble Phantasm as well.
    As it is a Noble Phantasm that does not belong to just one Heroic Spirit, so too is it not just one item. This Noble Phantasm’s nature is that of the artillery which earned the Mughals the nickname of a ‘Gunpowder Empire’. It manifests in many forms, from matchlock pistols to large cannons that must be mounted on accompanying beasts of burden. This is the nature of his summoning in the Rider class.
    There is no mystical effect behind the battery, nor any fantastical qualities to the animals that carry most of it. This Noble Phantasm relies solely on brute force and overwhelming firepower. Of course, as the size and strength of the artillery increases, its usability plummets. But, the sheer mental impact of all Rider’s ordnance bearing down upon the enemy is an advantage itself.
    Though lesser swivel-guns and cannons are mounted on all manner of beasts, including horses, camels, bulls, and even elephants, the greatest piece of Topkhana Mughal is Sekaste Zamin: Devastation of the World. It is the only specific weapon making up a part of Topkhana Mughal, and a Noble Phantasm in its own right, but it is not based on an actual cannon. Rather, it is the perfect representation of the grandeur of the Mughal artillery, a symbol of royal power brought with the emperor in times of both peace and war. A composite gun based upon the needlessly large masterpieces of the Mughal Empire- from a modest cannon only needing two dozen oxen to transport it, to others firing ammunition that was over a quarter of a ton each, to the legendary “Fort Opener”, which needed four elephants and a thousand oxen to even begin moving. It is an absurd, impossible weapon, and its single shot is the greatest act Rider is capable of performing, but the power behind that one bullet is unimaginable.
    Sekaste Zamin is the zenith of what Topkhana Mughal is able to achieve, but had the Mughal emperors been given the chance… Yes, surely Anti-Country guns of A rank would be commonplace within it, and Rider’s final gambit would be an Anti-Planet EX rank cannon instead.

    Ibadat Khana: The Grace of God Comes Suddenly to the Mind of the Wise
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: C
    Range: 30
    Maximum Targets: 100 people
    The impartial hall of Rider. In essence, very similar to a Reality Marble, but it is more like a Bounded Field representing Rider’s ideal than a true reflection of his inner world. A meeting house to debate the truth of gods.
    Within the hall is an absolute non-aggression zone that prevents Rider’s guests from attacking each other, as if they had been ordered by a Command Spell to avoid fighting. Fundamentally, Rider is not under Ibadat Khana’s effect, but he subjects himself to it anyways on principle. It is not an exploitable Noble Phantasm to him, but an opportunity to hold discourse with other wise figures.


    Bio
    Background: Born in 1542 and raised in exile, Akbar was crowned the Mughal emperor as a child during a war to solidify control over the empire that his father had lost before his birth, and shakily reclaimed just months before dying. Over the next few years, assisted by his regent Bairam Khan, Akbar firmly reestablished the Mughal Empire until, at 18, he sent Bairam Khan away. The ex-regent led a rebellion against Akbar, but was defeated, and left for a pilgrimage he would never return from. Bolstered with a vast amount of firearms from trade with Europe, Akbar then began consolidating and expanding his empire, a process which strained his personal relationships; after multiple disputes with his foster brother Adham Khan, Akbar threw him from a high terrace in a rage, and when he survived, he was dragged back up to the terrace and thrown over once more. Despite the personal issues that arose with Akbar, and the many rebellions raised against him, his rule was a prosperous one in which he strove to foster equality between his own Islamic faith and the native Hindus. Akbar was enraptured by religion, and held debates on the nature of God or gods for many years with men of all faiths, gradually becoming disillusioned by the self-centeredness of the faithful and replacing the talks with Din-i-Ilahi, his own religion of inclusiveness. He died in 1605 of dysentery, reluctantly maintaining his earlier appointment of his rebellious son Jahangir to succeed him.

    Blood type: Unknown
    Birthday: October 15
    Image color: Brown
    Talent: Hunting
    Likes: Religious discourse
    Dislikes: Narrow-mindedness
    Natural enemy: Lancer

  19. #14879
    Κυρία Ἐλέησον Seika's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clockehwork View Post
    A little late, I realize, and very minor, but for what it's worth "Marcius" Cassius Scaeva is Marcus. Also I wouldn't put
    Romula Augusta
    Romulus Augustus
    as Gothic/Germanic instead of Classical along with the other Romans but that could go either way I suppose.
    Tweaks committed. I also let the main Myth & History category go unspoiled, leaving the subcategory spoilers in place, because it looked weird.

    As to the up-thread discussion of whether this should be here or Fanfics, I'm neutral. Ergo, snap poll: who wants it to stay, and who wants it to move?

    (I'm not combining it with the Modern Fiction one, because it would screw with all kinds of things. Also I just don't like that thread).
    Beast's Lair: Useful Notes
    (Lightweight | PDF)
    Updated 01/01/15

    If posts are off-topic, trolling, terrible or offensive, please allow me to do my job. Reporting keeps your forum healthy.
    Seika moderates: modly clarifications, explanations, Q&A, and the British conspiracy to de-codify BL's constitution.

    Democracy on Beast's Lair

  20. #14880
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    I mean, considering this is kinda just the OC Do Not Steal thread...

    It's fanfics in spirit if not in actual body. TBH I'm fine wherever it is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

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