Create-a-Servant

[terraablaze]

Didn't one of the angels lead the fight agaisnt the fallen angles? Micheal or Gabrieal.

[SeiKeo]

Didn't one of the angels lead the fight agaisnt the fallen angles? Micheal or Gabrieal.

I believe Michael. @ Arnold: Seriously, I don't even remember anything like that.

[Yakumo-san]

On general terms, it's Michael who's said to be the one that fought Satan/Lucifer (note that Lucifer is never said to be Satan).
But I kinda forgot exactly where I saw that alternate story. Anyways, THIS IS THE NASUVERSE.

[Sunny]

I think Jesus actually did participate in the war from what I remember of Paradise Lost.

Along with God smiting things like Zeus by throwing thunderbolts on a flying chariot.

Paradise Lost was weird.

[terraablaze]

In the Nasuverse, Satan is more like Jewish Satan and is a prosecutor of humans because that is his job.

[Five_X]

Here's the Attila Servant. Only one NP, because it's all he needs, and it's pretty cool.

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Servant: Attila the Hun
Class: Rider


Background: Scourge of God, destroyer of Romans, Attila was a famous Hunnic figure of the mid-5th century. He razed many cities and led with a keen administrative skill rather than pure charisma, being able to control the bloodlust (and other sorts of lust) of his soldiers and getting various Germanic tribes to work cooperatively, winning numerous tactical victories against the Romans. However, he was defeated by "The Last Roman," Flavius Aetius, at the Battle of the Catalaunian Fields. Attila's influence waned not long thereafter, and he died by choking on his own blood after having drunk too much wine at a party. Though their leader died, the Huns remained a powerful force in the area, but not nearly as powerful as they had been under Attila's rule. The Huns as a people were famous horseback riders, and it is said that they spent so much time in the saddle that their legs deformed to fit the contours of their mount, and they were often unable to walk properly. It is for this reason that Attila himself is only able to be summoned in the Rider class.


Class Skills:


Riding – B++ (Attila has an incredibly high level of proficiency with nearly all vehicles and creatures, but cannot effectively fight on foot)


Magic Resistance - E


Personal Skills:


Pillage – A+ (this skill allows Attila to regain prana through destruction; at this rank, damage to buildings is also increased)


Eye of the Mind (True) – B


Dread Visage – B (moderately powerful foes, as well as Servants with low END, can be frightened away by Attila's presence)


Noble Phantasm(s):


Cadavera Vero Innumera – Carnage of the Catalaunian Fields – A+(+)
Anti-Army


Riding his horse around an area and digging his Sword of Mars into the earth, Attila creates a reddish-black void from which spills the blood of hundreds of thousands of corpses that takes effect when he has his horse stomp its front hooves on the ground and he calls this Noble Phantasm's name; this can be a small stream or a torrential deluge depending on the size of the void. This blood is boiling hot and spills across the land in the direction Attila is facing when he makes the hole, causing heat-based damage as well as potential drowning. If the void is large enough, half-skeletal human and equine gore can flow forth, contaminating the area further and causing more damage (hence the added “+”). All those who are immersed in the blood must make an Endurance check or be infected with vile diseases, which becomes harder to resist with the addition of corpses. This Noble Phantasm requires a continuous flow of prana, and when this flow ends the void will seal itself and the blood will remain for a time before evaporating. Anyone who breathes in this vapour takes additional heat damage and may become diseased. Even if the blood does little damage to Attila's foes, the ground will be scorched from the heat. Those allied to Attila are immune to all of the sanguinary effects.


As a final note, the Sword of Mars itself which Attila possesses is an A-rank Noble Phantasm, being an ancient divine weapon, and can reflect spells and such effects in order to make up for Attila's poor Magic Resistance skill.


Stats:


Strength - B
Agility - C+
Magic - D+
Luck - C
Endurance – B

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Attila's NP was quite fun to make. I also had some fun with the Sword of Mars, and I initially thought of linking it to the other Sword of Mars, Crocea Mors, but then I realized that Crocea Mors was too busy chilling in Britain being Caliburn.

[ScarletWeather]

Noble Phantasm(s):


Cadavera Vero Innumera – Carnage of the Catalaunian Fields – A+(+)
Anti-Army


Slicing his Sword of Mars through the air, Attila creates a reddish-black void from which spills the blood of hundreds of thousands of corpses; this can be a small stream or a torrential deluge depending on the size of the void. This blood is boiling hot and spills across the land in the direction Attila is facing when he cuts the hole, causing heat-based damage as well as potential drowning. If the slice through the air is large enough, half-skeletal human and equine gore can flow forth, contaminating the area further and causing more damage (hence the added “+”). All those who are immersed in the blood must make an Endurance check or be infected with vile diseases, which becomes harder to resist with the addition of corpses. This Noble Phantasm requires a continuous flow of prana, and when this flow ends the void will seal itself and the blood will remain for a time before evaporating. Anyone who breathes in this vapour takes additional heat damage and may become diseased. Even if the blood does little damage to Attila's foes, the ground will be scorched from the heat. Those allied to Attila are immune to all of the sanguinary effects.


As a final note, the Sword of Mars itself is an A-rank Noble Phantasm, being an ancient divine weapon, and can reflect spells and such effects in order to make up for Attila's poor Magic Resistance skill.


Stats:


Strength - B
Agility - C+
Magic - D+
Luck - C
Endurance – B

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Attila's NP was quite fun to make. I also had some fun with the Sword of Mars, and I initially thought of linking it to the other Sword of Mars, Crocea Mors, but then I realized that Crocea Mors was too busy chilling in Britain being Caliburn.

So he's Rider and his only NP is a Sword Phantasm.

...Actually yeah that does completely confuse me. His Noble Phantasm isn't his greatest accomplishment, it's his greatest defeat, and as Rider he doesn't even get a mount-related Phantasm. Also I'm really not sure how he only has one Noble Phantasm if the blood he summons is one Phantasm, but the Sword of Mars counts as a separate Phantasm that has its own properties and even a listed Rank. His stats seem about on par with what you'd expect for Atilla, just...

As cool as "I will drown you all in blood" is, kinda skeptical of a Rider without a related Phantasm? At the very least, change the Phantasm condition from "Swing sword, cut hole in space" to "When activated, blood springs up and flows out from the area he rides over". Then it's kinda/sorta more in line with the image of Atilla as the legendary scourge of god who's followed around by destruction. :/

[Five_X]

He's a Rider because he is a Rider. As a Hun he can't be summoned into any other class. His schtick is that he doesn't need a Rider-based Phantasm in order to be a Rider; he excels at mounted combat but cannot really fight on foot in any major capacity.

Plus, Noble Phantasms aren't necessarily based on accomplishments, they are based on legends associated with the person in question. And even then there's some leeway, such as with Ea. A defeat, if famous enough, can most certainly be a Noble Phantasm.

Secondly, the Sword of Mars is less a "Noble Phantasm" and more a possession. He owns it, but he can't use it, in a sense.

I'll fix it to add some stuffs about the blood and the horse, but that's only tentative until I can find a definite name for a horse that Attila may have ridden on.

Also, I made this while half-asleep in a few minutes. :P

[ScarletWeather]

As a final note, the Sword of Mars itself which Attila possesses is an A-rank Noble Phantasm, being an ancient divine weapon, and can reflect spells and such effects in order to make up for Attila's poor Magic Resistance skill.

If it's a weapon, it's a weapon, if it's a Phantasm it's a Phantasm?

Since Atilla can use it, it is kind of his Noble Phantasm, in the same way that Gil's entire treasury is his Noble Phantasm even if he can't use every single object in it to anywhere near what their future wielders could. So that's kind of what I was saying- even if the sword itself can't, say, do its full Excalibeam potential or whatever the Sword of Mars is legendarily famous for doing, because he owns it and he's famous for wielding it by all rights it should really be his Phantasm if it has Rank.

Also, I'm not really a stickler for the mount itself being a Phantasm- it's more that one of the consistent things with the Rider class is they have a mounted-attack Phantasm. Medusa has Bellerophon, Via Expugnatio is Iskander's, Lady Francis has the whole summon-the-Golden-Hind-pieces Phantasm, etc. I'm not really skeptical of the bloodbath so much as I am that Atilla is amazing at mounted combat, is a figure of renown in history for mounted combat, and none of his Noble Phantasms even remotely touch mounted combat. Just taking the scourge/bloodbath thing and combining it with a mounted charge rather than a sword which I didn't even know Atilla had until this point would really be enough.

Also imho, blood springing up from under the horse as he tramples everything is just way more awesome. :<

[Five_X]

Eh, blood springing up from the trampled ground is too impractical for Attila, though. He wouldn't have something that blatant. It's effect is to make the battlefield bloody and I'm not sure if you have looked at the edit. It's now activated by the horse itself, in addition to the sword.

Also, the sword is basically like one of Gil's treasures. It may or may not have some arcane usage, but Attila doesn't really care and uses it as a regular sword.

At the very least, I'll admit that he isn't Ramesses and thus doesn't have the whole "Haha fuck you class requirements" clause to rely on.

[Five_X]

New Servant! (technically not, but I've made at least a couple tweaks here and there for non-MPII purposes...)

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Servant: Gaius Julius Caesar
Class: Saber

Background: Born in 100 BC to a traditionally aristocratic family, Julius Caesar spent her early years studying politics and serving in the military, before being elected to the senate. She was a renowned orator on the level of Cicero, a man who is considered one of the greatest speakers in all history. At one point, a young Caesar was captured by pirates, but that did little to stop her, as she spent the time she was captured mocking the pirates and living fairly well due to her sheer inability to be intimidated. Later on in her life, Caesar mobilized several legions, and began her campaigns in Gaul, writing a book about the ordeal. It was some time after that when she crossed the Rubicon river in northern Italy and started a Civil War in Rome. In the ensuing chaos she fought nearly everywhere, from Asia Minor to Egypt. Eventually she won out, and became dictator of Rome. However, a conspiracy was built to assassinate her, and unfortunately it succeeded. As a person, Caesar is very proud, looking upon her past mistakes as examples of how she should do better, allowing no blow to her ego faze her. She isn't quick to become friendly, and can seem quite harsh even in regular conversation, though when dealing with people she respects or when her charisma is needed, her ability to get along with people can be truly remarkable. Being such an important and famous figure, she expects everyone to know who she is implicitly, and is quite frustrated when such is not the case. She has no idea that history has recorded her as a man and that she isn't actually supposed to be a woman, though she does note that her cognomen and praenomen are boyish.

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance – B

Riding - N/A Saber, in life, often refused to ride a horse, preferring to walk everywhere. As a result she has no real riding skill, though she does know how to ride horses relatively well, and she has more endurance for walking, jogging and running than most.

Personal Skills:

Charisma – B+ Caesar has immense ability to lead an army and motivate troops, though her Charisma skill is also used for great feats of oratory.

Cult of Personality – B Though Caesar is a relatively young Servant, this skill represents the legend that was created by (partially herself, with de Bello Gallico, and) Augustus and other Emperors of Rome after her death, the cult of the divus Iulius, the “divine Julius”. It gives her more power than her history would normally allow, due to her legend being reinforced by apocryphal and possibly fictional tales made to make her look better and more powerful. Her own implacable will does not allow her to be anything less than supreme.

Battle Continuation – C Related to her death by bleeding in the Senate despite being attacked by sixty or so senators and taking twenty-three stab wounds. This C rank of the Battle Continuation skill allows Caesar to fend off death until the end of a battle if she has taken lethal amounts of damage, but extreme damage will simply kill her; it is mostly a general resistance to damage, especially from stabbing and piercing wounds.

Military Tactics – A As a general, only Hannibal or Alexander could likely pose a challenge to her. This skill also has requisite sub-skills.

--* Logistics – A The ability to properly use resources at hand. This allows Caesar to maintain her army for a longer period of time without making camp, travel farther with her army summoned, use prana more efficiently, and operate for longer without a prana supply from her Master.

--* Adaptability – B This is Caesar's ability to understand an enemy's fighting style after fighting them. With this rank, after one average battle she will understand generally how a foe fights, especially if they command an army.

Noble Phantasm(s):

The Red Cape – Cloak of Inevitable Battle – C
Support

With this, Caesar dons her famous cape, which historically she would wear just before the start of a battle. To the Gauls and all else who opposed her, it was a truly frightening sight. On its own, the cloak is fairly weak, giving Caesar rank C of the Dread Visage skill, but it more importantly amplifies all of her stats (by one rank, unless she dulls its power to conserve prana) except MGI and allows her to command flames. Possession of this Noble Phantasm gives Caesar immunity to fire regardless of whether or not she is wearing it (hence her easy victory against the charging Boudicca). The main drawback is that using the power of the cape makes Caesar's prana drain at a much higher rate than usual, making it best for quick battles rather than lengthy fights. In addition, Caesar can only put on the cape when a battle is about to begin or when a battle has already begun, and while she is wearing it she cannot retreat from a battle until one side has lost and the other has won, or if there is a definitive draw, or if it is the enemy who retreats or generally disengages from the fight. The cape must stay on her body from when it is materialized to when the fight is over.

Alea Iacta Est: 3^rd Gallica, 6^th Ferrata, 10^th Equestris, 13^th Gemina – Legions of the Bull Rank - A
Anti-Army

Caesar can call upon any or all of her most famous and powerful legions, being Gallica, Ferrata, Hispana and Gemina, used in the Civil Wars and her campaigns in Gaul. They are highly flexible and strong troops, though they are also immediately recognizable. Unlike the armies of most of the other generals in the Manhattan War, her legions have access to naval power, siege weapons and building materials, allowing them to cross any terrain and be ready for any situation. When wearing her Red Cape, Caesar increases the morale of her legions greatly and pushes them to fight as hard as possible. The Roman Republican army is historically one of the most organized and effective fighting forces to ever exist, if not the pinnacle of such. Especially against generals from the Classical era, Caesar has a strong advantage due to the nature of the legions as a supreme fighting force adaptable to any situation or foe. This army is capable of raising a large camp if needed, given some time to set up the tents and fortifications.

Crocea Mors – The Forgotten Holy Sword of Vulcan, Emblem of the Future King – A+
Anti-Army/Anti-Fortress (the latter only when wearing cape)

It is unknown exactly how Caesar came to own this weapon, but since its creation for Aeneas by the god of smiths, it has been best known afterwards as the sword of Julius Caesar, a weapon that would bring death to all those it touched. In her attacks on Britain Caesar brought the sword with her, losing it in the shield of a Briton named Nennius. The sword would stay on the British Isles for the rest of its history, most famously being stabbed into a stone for only the true king, descended from the Roman Emperors, to pull out. So it was that Crocea Mors, the Yellow Death, became Caliburn, and also Excalibur, when the legends had not yet been separated. “Ex Calce Liberatus” stated an engraving in the stone in Latin, “Liberated from the stone”, and so one legend says the name had come to be. The basic power of the sword is to cause wounds that cannot be closed, leading to an inevitable death for weaker foes who are struck by it; this effect exactly is in practice doing “maximum damage” with each strike, which means that every blow that hits will somehow cause a major wound, which cannot heal. Caesar can also unleash this curse of death as a blast of energy which is amplified if she is wearing her Red Cape, which decimates large groups of enemies and is overall a highly destructive burst of power. If it is used whilst wearing the Red Cape, its prana usage is great enough to cause Saber to become dangerously low; using her Red Cape as well as Crocea Mors is effectively a method of thoroughly ending a fight. While Crocea Mors can be customized in its blast, able to concentrate its power down to twice the size of the gladius itself, slightly decreasing its power and making it Anti-Unit. If Caesar is currently commanding her army, this Anti-Unit form is the only one she can use. In order to use the full power of Crocea Mors in that situation, she would have to disband her legions and summon them again later.

Simply put, Crocea Mors is a highly powerful sword from a time long before Caesar was born.

Stats:

Strength - A
Agility - A
Magic - B
Luck - D
Endurance – B

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Beware the Wrath of Caesar.

[I3uster]

A buff by one rank on all attributes isn't C.
That's A minimum.

[Five_X]

Incorrect. C-rank is the physical power of the thing, not its value.

Also, not all attributes, and also prana-consuming.

[I3uster]

All but MGI, and the prana drain still allows for an Anti-Fortress NP to be used.

At least make it B+ or something, but C for a full stat raise is too low, even with one of the attributes not getting raised and prana drain. It has further advantages even.

[Five_X]

Bah, I don't see it that way. Even God Hand is only B rank, and that allows for silly amounts of overpoweredness.

[MssrNeko]

Edited my Lancer to make him more presentable. Here's Lancer 2.0.

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Class: Lancer
True Name: Māui
Alignment: Chaotic Good

Statistics:
Strength: A+
Endurance: B
Agility: C
Magic: C
Luck: E
Noble Phantasm: A++

Class Skills:
Magic Resistance
Rank: E (A+)
The protection against magical spells and effects. At this level, the spell is not cancelled but its damage is reduced somewhat. Being blessed by a primordial goddess, however, Lancer can effectively cancel any magic aligned with the element "Fire".

Personal Skills:
Divinity
Rank: C
Measure of a Servant's divine heritage. Lancer is the offspring of a mortal woman and a guardian deity of the underworld.

Eye of Mind (False)
Rank: C
Sixth sense for avoiding danger. Lancer has a good chance of avoiding critical strikes and defending against ambushes. Placed against the more "civilized" Servants with this skill, it has more akin with primal instincts than battle awareness.

Natural Body
Rank: B
Possesses a perfect body as a living being from birth. When checked against an opponent’s stats, Lancer’s Strength and Endurance will be counted as one rank higher.

Noble Phantasms
Inaika Lasso of the Maiden
Rank: B
Type: Anti-Unit
The lasso weaved from his sister's hair. It was with this that Lancer ensnared the Sun and beat it near-death. Once activated, coiled ropes of hair shoot out and wrapped themselves around the opponent. To break free, one must have a rank A Strength to escape. However, the speed at which this phantasm is released can be overcome by high Agility.

Te Ika-a-Māui Island Fisher
Rank: A++
Type: Anti-Battlefield
Lancer's trump card, the crystallization of his greatest feat: the creations of all the islands of Polynesia. Smearing blood across his fishing spear, the entire weapon becomes saturated in prana. And with one mighty throw, the deadly projectile is launched towards the target. Simply having a high Endurance attribute is useless against it. The opposing Servant needs a defense against the concept of "Creation" to survive. However, this phantasm is very costly, in both mana cost and collateral damage, so Lancer disdains from using this unless there is nothing left for him to lose.

Background
The legendary strongman of Polynesia. Born to the mortal Hina and Taranga, guardian of the underworld, Māui was discarded into the sea by his mother because she thought her child was dead. But Māui was saved by ocean spirits and Hina, realizing her mistake, retrieved her child. As he grew older, Māui’s talents began to make themselves known and he used them to accomplish many great feats. Using his immense strength, he pushed the sky away from the earth, pulled up the islands of Polynesia, and ensnared the Sun and crippled its progress through the sky. Using his cunning and wits, he stole the secrets of fire and gave them to man. At the height of his power, Māui decided to accomplish what he considered the most important feat: seizing immortality. However, he failed and as punishment for his crime, the gods brought death to the mortal world.

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Comments and critique welcome.

BTW, what is the font that this board uses? I hate seeing two different fonts....

[I3uster]

Bah, I don't see it that way. Even God Hand is only B rank, and that allows for silly amounts of overpoweredness.

The difference in a rank of stats is the difference between God Hand being an unavoidable brick wall of death or a minor obstacle.
And that's not even the only thing it does.

[Five_X]

The difference in a rank of stats is the difference between God Hand being an unavoidable brick wall of death or a minor obstacle.
And that's not even the only thing it does.

Eh? I'm not sure what you mean. Unavoidable brick wall of death or minor obstacle? Remember that Crocea Mors is Proto-Caliburn, back when Caliburn was an actual effective weapon.

Also, here are her adjusted stats, with the cape:

Strength - A+
Agility - A+
Magic - B
Luck - C
Endurance – A

Definitely powerful, but it wouldn't give her any more of an advantage of God Hand. Assuming GH can't really be blown apart in a single attack and that one scene was plothax, that is.

Also, imcreasing the cape's rank does nothing, and if anyhting makes it more powerful. What it is is a C-rank Noble Phantasm that has strong effects. The cape itself isn't necessarily powerful, and its own power (the fire stuff and the Dread Visage) isn't necessarily great.

[I3uster]

A difference in one rank of stats would mean turning all of her attacks (if she would have B-rank STR) into A-ranked attacks, meaning that she, if she'd borrow some of her armies equipment, would be able to penetrate God Hand multiple times even without showering it in yellow death.

Depending on the output of Crocea Mors this thing is her strongest NP, without a doubt.

[Milbunk]

So if I were to repost the Servant I created a while back would you guys mind judging it for me?