Create-A-Servant 2

[34]

Sima Yi: A Caster with 5 A-Ranked skill... I know nothing on the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, but I smell wank. Wuzhang Fort's 1 km Bloodfort Andromeda is too much, I guess. A reduction in range would nerf it a bit.

Sima Fa's just a regular 'summon army' NP disguised as a spellbook. I guess that's okay, but I was expecting some sort of widespread boost for the soldiers because it's still a military text.

wankity wank wank, yes. But i think it's kinda justified, because even Zhuge Liang can't beat him

Yeah, kinda like Bloodfort, but instead of a barrier, it's a fortress generating a mana-draining aura.
Well, his Skills are more than enough to boost the army, though.

[Theoneandonlyz]

, because even Zhuge Liang can't beat him

That really wasn't too hard a feat to achieve at that stage. Zhuge was simply too stubborn and too slow to adapt to changing circumstances. He locked himself into a fight he had no business being in out of some perverse combination of pride and dogmatism.

Sima simply leveraged his superior logistical position and waited for Zhuge's campaign (and his life) to run its course. There's really no brilliant strategy involved...just the clarity to see the situation for what it was and the patience to not fall for Zhuge's typical bullshit.

Lower Strategy to B or B+ with an emphasis on defensive maneuvering.

Remove Strategist's Command completely. That's just clutter on the sheet at this point.

Lower Deception to B. Sima really wasn't that good at it.

While Wolf's Awareness is very much in character it overlaps with Strategist's Advice, except on a personal scale. That's kind of cluttery so I would either remove it or lower it's rank. This Sima really isn't meant to act on a individual level.

[MehKitteh]

Zhuge Liang is overworked.

The enemy also turtles.

Of course he'll fall off eventually.

[34]

That really wasn't too hard a feat to achieve at that stage. Zhuge was simply too stubborn and too slow to adapt to changing circumstances. He locked himself into a fight he had no business being in out of some perverse combination of pride and dogmatism.

Sima simply leveraged his superior logistical position and waited for Zhuge's campaign (and his life) to run its course. There's really no brilliant strategy involved...just the clarity to see the situation for what it was and the patience to not fall for Zhuge's typical bullshit.

Lower Strategy to B or B+ with an emphasis on defensive maneuvering.

Remove Strategist's Command completely. That's just clutter on the sheet at this point.

Lower Deception to B. Sima really wasn't that good at it.

While Wolf's Awareness is very much in character it overlaps with Strategist's Advice, except on a personal scale. That's kind of cluttery so I would either remove it or lower it's rank. This Sima really isn't meant to act on a individual level.

Thanks, I will update it later.

[WhatShouldNotBe]

Would a servant that's kind of a "Reverse-Alter", where instead of an evil version of a Hero , it's a good version of a Villain, be an interesting idea?

[RoydGolden]

Would a servant that's kind of a "Reverse-Alter", where instead of an evil version of a Hero , it's a good version of a Villain, be an interesting idea?

If you can make it work from their legend (i.e they were a historical villain popularly remembered as a hero like Columbus, or a villain who was once good and fell into evil later on) then I'd say go for it. Otherwise no.

[WhatShouldNotBe]

If you can make it work from their legend (i.e they were a historical villain popularly remembered as a hero like Columbus, or a villain who was once good and fell into evil later on) then I'd say go for it. Otherwise no.

Huh.

its weird, you can do an evil version of a hero, like, say, Uther Alter, but you can't do something like, say, Moriarty Alter.

[RoydGolden]

Huh.

its weird, you can do an evil version of a hero, like, say, Uther Alter, but you can't do something like, say, Moriarty Alter.

Uther has at least a somewhat ambiguous legend (in particular his obsessive lust for Igraine in some versions of the story).

[EonADS]

If you can make it work from their legend (i.e they were a historical villain popularly remembered as a hero like Columbus, or a villain who was once good and fell into evil later on) then I'd say go for it. Otherwise no.

I wouldn't even say yes to the latter, honestly. Would that make Saber Giles an "alter" to Caster Giles? Or Gil-Ko an "alter" to the older Gilgamesh? The historical villain remembered as a hero could work, though.

Working on a Saber instead of the Rider Gordafarid or Berserker Loo-wit that I was intent on earlier, but I'm not going to be around much because of school. I'm already kind of behind.

[RoydGolden]

I wouldn't even say yes to the latter, honestly. Would that make Saber Giles an "alter" to Caster Giles? Or Gil-Ko an "alter" to the older Gilgamesh?

Yeah, on second thought that'd be more like a Lily.

[EonADS]

Yeah, on second thought that'd be more like a Lily.

It could maybe work in reverse, though. Someone who was a villain earlier in their lives who eventually turned good (or at least neutral). Though, the only one I can think of offhand is the Apostle Paul, and he barely qualifies as a "villain" in his early life.

Also, Richard the Lion-Heart would make a fantastic example of the "historical villain remembered as a hero" trope. People get so caught up in the whole "conquering warrior king" idea that they forget that he was a zealous genocidal asshole.

[asterism42]

This is mentioned in SF, tho. Richard explicitly tells Ayaka he's not a hero and she shouldn't think of him as one.

[Express]

Alexander allowed the complete destruction of Persepolis because he realized his men were getting super pissy and were thinking of leaving him. So he let them go nuts because before he always had them reign their shit in and respect the conquered countries.
Different people remember heroes differently.

Alex Alter pls

[You]

It could maybe work in reverse, though. Someone who was a villain earlier in their lives who eventually turned good (or at least neutral). Though, the only one I can think of offhand is the Apostle Paul, and he barely qualifies as a "villain" in his early life.

Also, Richard the Lion-Heart would make a fantastic example of the "historical villain remembered as a hero" trope. People get so caught up in the whole "conquering warrior king" idea that they forget that he was a zealous genocidal asshole.

A villain who became a hero or a historical villain remembered as a hero would just be a proper Heroic Spirit.
A improper Heroic Spirit who was actually a Hero in another timeline somehow might be an Alter. Or a villian who was twisted into becoming a hero with a Grail or something else too.

- - - Updated - - -

If you can make it work from their legend (i.e they were a historical villain popularly remembered as a hero like Columbus, or a villain who was once good and fell into evil later on) then I'd say go for it. Otherwise no.

If you look at all the Alters in canon, you'd see that none of them are Alters because of aspects of their legends.
Either something happened differently in different history or they got corrupted by the grail, made by a grail, warped by a grail or drank a youth potion but still found the meaning of Christmas and being a good Santa
If they went to shit in their legend that would just be like Berserker Lancelot or Caster Gilles.

[WhatShouldNotBe]

Or a villian who was twisted into becoming a hero with a Grail or something else too.

..... Now I wonder how people would react if a villain is slowly converted into a hero by something like a Reverse-Angra Mainyu.

hell, what would be the villain's reaction in their final moments?

[sherlock1110]

..... Now I wonder how people would react if a villain is slowly converted into a hero by something like a Reverse-Angra Mainyu.

hell, what would be the villain's reaction in their final moments?

Isn't that called Fate Grand Order? Making Saber Alter into a loli Santa?

[Arashi_Leonhart]

Well no, because that isn't a thing that happens.

[Ayr]

Isn't that called Fate Grand Order? Making Saber Alter into a loli Santa?

Loli Santa is Jeanne Alter, not Saber Alter

compare
http://fate-go.cirnopedia.org/servan...hp?servant=073
and
http://fate-go.cirnopedia.org/servan...hp?servant=141

[sherlock1110]

Long Post

Sima Yi: This is from China so I'll have no knowledge of the character at all. Sorry that I can't help in that regard. I'm assuming the positive modifier in Territory Creation refers to his establishment of "Ambush Points", although it is quite a strong additional effect while also being able to construct regular workshops, the wording also hints at the possibility of a Summon-An-Army Noble Phantasm *claps hands in glee*. Although Item Creation is generic I'm getting the vibe that this guy is about ambushing things like a min-max player in a JRPG or something. I remember there was some debate over the Personal Skills and I can see why, Strategy and Strategists Advice while different can seem like they are part of the same process, or expressing the same part of his character. Deception seems powerful, to say the least, if this is what it does at B+ Rank what can it possibly do at a higher ranking? I was having difficulty finding anything on it on the Type-Moon Wiki (not the best reference source) and what does the positive modifier refer to? It seems like a far too wanked ability that I don't think the Servant should possess, also if he is deceiving others with his words then skills like Discernment of the Poor should have some effect. Wolf's Awareness... Comes across as part Strategy, Instinct and then being able to turn your head 180 degrees? I didn't get the full effects for this one, but it seems to just be a composite skill. The first Noble Phantasm, please remember here that I have no knowledge of this legend, seems to make sense although I can see it's limits in a Holy Grail War as most civilians would be puzzled and one might say a little surprised if a giant fortress suddenly appeared out of thin air. And then it's Summon-An-Army. Both Noble Phantasms are, while not particularly interesting, appropriate and fit the character but wouldn't the Army never be properly summoned? Unless the fortress was in the middle of a city it's unlikely that Caster would have enough Mana incoming to summon and maintain them. It's a solid sheet overall although I'd think a little wanked in places, sorry.

Sweeny Tod: So I decided to look up a bit on this figure, I'd heard of him before but wasn't quite clear whether he came from literature or an urban legend but most historians tend towards the former it seems. I imagine you were trying to do spoiler tags for this sheet so I'll try and give a quick guide below:

In the cases where I use { whatever is meant to go in here } you would instead use [ whatever is meant to go in here ] for the actual code.

{spoiler}
{/spoiler}

Will create:

Spoiler:

{spoiler=Servant Identity}
{/spoiler}

Will create:

Servant Identity

Hopefully that should help, moving onwards this character is going to be quite an interesting case because after reading their story I have my own thoughts on the matter. I believe the Parameters are far too high, I know this sounds a bit too aggressive but I think that the reason why Sweeny Tod wouldn't make a good Servant is because he was a Barber and as such he wouldn't have amazing parameters or skills. Strength would be around E or D Rank at best while Agility, Mana and Endurance would all be ranked similarly. Perhaps Luck would be ranked higher considering how he got away with such a ridiculous and stupid plan for so long but that might be attributed to the uncontrolled rise in crime during the industrialisation of the time. I don't exactly like the story, sorry. The background you wrote for the character seems better than the original story in my opinion -_-. Although you've left Personality and Appearance incredibly thin, with his Appearance as well he'd be identified almost instantly in a Grail War (unless Saber Alter Lily Santa Barber is going to be the next big thing). Lovett Familiar doesn't seem like a proper skill, the reason you were probably challenged in writing this sheet is because Sweeny Tod is such a bad story that is more or less unfit for a Servant sheet, which is by the standards of me with Leopold von Sacher-Masoch as a Servant. Anyway the Personal Skills are under-developed and why would he have anything remotely like Battle Continuation? It doesn't seem to make any sense. Presence Concealment is also wildly inappropriate as he was a well known barber in London, which would mean he had Espionage of some variety. I looked up "rube", it's some kind of country bumpkin but it's an American thing so I don't really get it. I now imagine this crazed farmer summoning hundreds of country boys with which to assault his foes. Jokes aside the Noble Phantasm makes little sense either, while there is disagreement about how he killed his victims which changed as he became a reoccuring literary character (He did develop some kind of "polishing off" catchphrase) A+ is ridiculous. It's just a Noble Phantasm that really makes no sense but I'm having difficulty coming up with a Noble Phantasm for this character either, I just don't think he's an appropriate Servant.

Loli Santa is Jeanne Alter, not Saber Alter

compare
http://fate-go.cirnopedia.org/servan...hp?servant=073
and
http://fate-go.cirnopedia.org/servan...hp?servant=141

Thank you for correcting me, because it's not like I'm actually paying attention to this.

[zikari8]

Beast VIII

True Name: Riyo Gudako
Alternate Names: Protagonist
Alternate Class: Master
Height/Weight: 159cm ・ 47kg
Series: Fate/Grand Order
Country of Origin: Starlight Stage
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Gender: Female

Parameters:
STR: EX END: EX
AGI: D MGI: A++
LCK: E NP: EX

Likes: Eggplant, Netorare, Rolling gacha
Dislikes: Gacha, Shitty Devs
Talent: Wasting money
Natural Enemy: Jeanne D’arc
Attribute: Beast
Traits: Humanoid, Female
Catalyst: Salt
Voice Actor: Shimazaki Nobunaga

Skills

Class Skills

Independent Manifestation (C):
Independent Manifestation is a Class Skill that lends the capacity to manifest independently within the temporal reality. Renders resistance against the instantaneous imposition of death and attacks effected by time manipulation. Beast is effectively outside of the regular temporal reality of the world. She is capable of travelling to any point or place in history via a specific form of technology and manifesting there without necessity of energy cost or summoning by a master.

Authority of the Beast (A+):
Authority of the Beast is an Anti-Humanity Class Skill that enhances the skillholder's capacity to harm Heroic Spirits. In this case, it is a divine authority of a Master over the servants they summon. It is especially powerful against servants personally summoned by Beast and thus allows Beast near absolute physical superiority against the servants she summoned.

Self-Modification (E):
Self-Modification is a skill that permits the alteration of one’s own saint graph. In Beast’s case, it allows for the ability to switch between two forms, one male and female, though the male form is never used.

Personal Skills:

Servant Creation (EX):
Servant Creation is a skill that represents the ability to give artificially give birth to a Servant, instead of summoning one. A servant chrysalis can be created and then personally raised into a servant or given to someone else. The amount of time required for the chrysalis to become a full-fledged servant is determined by unknown factors. There is no way to control which servant is made. The person who raises the chrysalis becomes its Master. There is no way to know the servant’s True Name or Class except from the newly born Servant itself.

Degeneracy Pollution (A):
Degeneracy Pollution is a skill that expresses the ability to corrode the morality and character of all those within an area. All intelligent beings that come into contact with the user have their sense of morality corrupted slowly. They become unrestrained in their actions and typically perverted. The effects of the skill are proportional to amount of contact with the user.

Material Farming (B):
Material Farming is a skill that denotes the ability to gain material rewards for the destruction of one’s enemies. When an enemy servant is defeated, though they are sent back to the Throne of Heroes, the leftovers of their existence, such as unused mana, are converted into a form of physical treasure. They commonly take the form of a treasure chest with some loot inside, or prims of condensed mana. Occasionally, some stars are formed too but who the hell knows what they represent.

Dress-Type Mystic Code (D):
A mystic code skill that takes the form of clothing. The mystic code grants the use of a specific set of spells to its user. The user can choose between a variety of Mystic Codes and can change the one she is using at will by physically stripping off the current one and putting on the new one. The spells granted are dependent on which one she is wearing.

Noble Phantasm

Unskippable Reality

Crimson Regicide

Type: Anti-Player
Rank: EX
Range: World
Max Target: Humanity

Rather than a crystallization of Beast’s legend, this noble phantasm is a natural law of reality that ties Beast’s existence to the world. When Beast manifests at a point in time, this law is imposed on everyone in the world at once:
Noble Phantasms cannot be skipped.

As long as Beast remains in a specific time frame, that law is absolute and cannot be bypassed by any means possible. In effect, it is a power that preserves the connection cause and effect over all events. For any noble phantasm to have an effect, it must go through the preordained process of causality to do so and cannot skip the natural progression of events to reach the conclusion.

For example, a spear must hit its target in order to kill its enemy. Under the power of this noble phantasm, a spear cannot hit its target because it kills its enemy but must properly hit the target in order to kill the enemy. The process can be sped up or dragged out for any amount of time but the process itself cannot be skipped and the effect cannot come before the cause.

On the other hand, once the process has started, it cannot be interrupted or prevented. When the activation has been done, there is no choice but for everyone to patiently watch the Noble Phantasm sequence happen, no matter how long it may take. For example, once a Noble Phantasm is activated, a sword cannot go back in the time to kill the attacker as they activate their Noble Phantasm since the activation of the Noble Phantasm has become a recorded fact and cannot be interrupted or overwritten.

Though this law applies to Noble Phantasms mostly, it can apply to Noble Phantasm-like special techniques or events under the power of this Noble Phantasm. All such things have their processes preserved. A goon will not punch the hero during his transformation sequence. No one will talk during the beautiful speech on friendship. The ultimate clutch killing blow will be executed even if it misses. Planet Namek will explode even if it takes more than 5 minutes. Such events are preserved absolutely no matter how long it takes or what happens to the effect.

Character

Personality:

A degenerate girl with a loud mouth and hard fists. She is a pervert and hypocrite by nature, taking a fancy to sexually harassing girls she likes. Violence is her go-to way of solving problems and persuasion is a close second. She seems to be rather charismatic, making people fall in love with her or listen to her command naturally, though it may be a result of her overwhelming power level. She has an open love for Mashu Kyrielight and cannot physically stand not having Mashu by her side, losing sanity and self-control the longer they are separated.

She is hopelessly addicted to rolling gacha but has horrible luck. She encounters severe difficulty in proper gambling restraint but is happy to stop other people from rolling or enjoying themselves. As a result of her frustrations, she bears a grudge against the developers and tries to insult them whenever given the chance. Despite this, she is financially dependent on them and is pretty much their pet and thus can never really cross that final line.

Lore:

An anomaly that should not theoretically exist.

Beast VIII’s True Name is unknown but it is commonly referred to as Riyo Gudako or Protagonist. There should only be 7 sins of humanity and 7 corresponding Beasts, yet she is unmistakably an eighth. Where she has come from and why she has taken the form of a human are unknown but it is known that she is a being that has lived for at least 12,000 years. She serves as the master of Chaldea, at once the savior of the world and its greatest threat.

As a Beast, she carries the sin of “Entitlement” (The egotistical mindset of feeling that one has a right to specific things). It is the vice that plagues all services, as humans continue to complain and demand endlessly. Specifically, Beast VIII is born to the lack of NP Skip and selfishly demands its implementation with violence.

Beast VIII is essentially immortal. She has no lifespan, easily being able to live for eternity. Though she can be defeated and killed, death is only temporary and there will be a second or third “her” soon. As long as NP skip is not implemented, she will continue to exist and plague humanity. On the other hand, once NP skip is put in place, her immortality will wear off. Perhaps there is a purposeful irony to her actions, inciting the one event that will kill her. On the other hand, she’s probably just acting on instinct and doing whatever she wants.

Note: Why am I only capable of making joke Servants?