Create-A-Servant 2

[King of Padoru]

Man, I feel really honored for having a special mention on a sheet made by a veteran. I feel a bit of pity for having tried to do a Goliath as well, but our ideas seem to be quite similar, mostly with the personality, so I'll go with another idea instead.

Speaking of that, how messed up would it be to give Schrödinger a "virtually immortal" cat as a NP?

[RoydGolden]

Man, I feel really honored for having a special mention on a sheet made by a veteran. I feel a bit of pity for having tried to do a Goliath as well, but our ideas seem to be quite similar, mostly with the personality, so I'll go with another idea instead.

Thanks, man!

Speaking of that, how messed up would it be to give Schrödinger a "virtually immortal" cat as a NP?

Make Schrodinger a cat-boy like the one from Hellsing and then we're talking.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Okay this is what you meant Royd hmm... i go there a other direction i view the Biblical informations of Goliath and let him get his power from the Hatred of the exorcised Demons and Heretics also from his Tribes Deities Dagan,Baal and Derketo and the Gods and Goddesses that lost their names.
PS:at King of Padoru you had asked how David was able to defeat (my)Goliath ,right ? When yes then i lik to explain it to you or the others !

[RoydGolden]

Okay this is what you meant Royd hmm... i go there a other direction i view the Biblical informations of Goliath and let him get his power from the Hatred of the exorcised Demons and Heretics also from his Tribes Deities Dagan,Baal and Derketo and the Gods and Goddesses that lost their names.
PS:at King of Padoru you had asked how David was able to defeat Goliath ,right ? When yes then i lik to explain it to you or the others !

The core idea of an "avenger for the Pagan gods" is cool, but the sheet itself is way too scatter-shot. He just has too many NPs that have no connection to his legend. If the concept is that the gods of his religion are giving them to him for being their chosen champion (even though he never had most of them in life) then you should make that clear in the sheet itself, or maybe even give him a "composite NP" that lets him summon all of them like Rama's Vishnu Buja. Also, I'd like to add that Islamic Rites being included under his last NP makes no sense because Islam very much still exists and thrives in the modern age, Christianity's attempts to destroy it notwithstanding.

[King of Padoru]

I actually want the FC to be like this:
https://goo.gl/images/YkmNCJ

[RoydGolden]

I actually want the FC to be like this:
https://goo.gl/images/YkmNCJ

Go for it!

Schrodinger also studied Hindu mysticism and philosophy, so maybe you could give him a Skill related to that (Vedanta Magecraft?) if you do decide to write him up as a Servant, as well as the obvious quantum physics stuff.

[King of Padoru]

Go for it!

Schrodinger also studied Hindu mysticism and philosophy, so maybe you could give him a Skill related to that (Vedanta Magecraft?) if you do decide to write him up as a Servant, as well as the obvious quantum physics stuff.

Oh, I didn't know about the Hinduism part, thanks a lot for the tip!

PS:at King of Padoru you had asked how David was able to defeat (my)Goliath ,right ? When yes then i lik to explain it to you or the others !

Go ahead, although you should have explained it when making the sheet rather than waiting for others to ask about it IMO

[the god of world-0]

Cooler in the sense of his abilities or his personality? With David, I'd imagine he'd hate him for being an Israelite (follower of Yahweh), but have a grudging admiration for being the only one brave enough to fight him.

Might add that into the sheet sometime if I feel like writing up a Relationships section.

both i guess, he certanly is much more then a barbaric giant, just like medusa is more then a woman with snake hair or asterios is more then a guy with a bull head.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Oh, I didn't know about the Hinduism part, thanks a lot for the tip!



Go ahead, although you should have explained it when making the sheet rather than waiting for others to ask about it IMO

Okay the first Stepping Stone was as Goliath and his tribe wage a revenge war against a former ally tribe who slaught their childrenn as Goliath and the others were at a other battlefield,this war was the beginning of their demonification and as short before Goliath killed the tribes leader called a curse upon Goliath and his tribe .Slowly became the Philistinian a isolated tribe and a pestilence killed many members . Goliath was weakened as he faced David and the holy Will of Yahwe and the curse of the Philistines (and also the loosening power of Goliaths own Gods) took his part in his demise so became Davids Hamesh Avanim was the last Piece of the puzzle of demise.

[King of Padoru]

So, he died for an accumulation of conditions that weakened him + plot armor for David? That's basically Karna

[RoydGolden]

So, he died for an accumulation of conditions that weakened him + plot armor for David? That's basically Karna

The sheet explicitly compares him to Karna, so I suppose it's fair enough.

[Kabalisto Koga]

The core idea of an "avenger for the Pagan gods" is cool, but the sheet itself is way too scatter-shot. He just has too many NPs that have no connection to his legend. If the concept is that the gods of his religion are giving them to him for being their chosen champion (even though he never had most of them in life) then you should make that clear in the sheet itself, or maybe even give him a "composite NP" that lets him summon all of them like Rama's Vishnu Buja. Also, I'd like to add that Islamic Rites being included under his last NP makes no sense because Islam very much still exists and thrives in the modern age, Christianity's attempts to destroy it notwithstanding.

Well with the Champion of the gods is basically Philistinai Infernalis that enabbles him to use atleast parts of their powers plus the from the Christchurch eliminated heretics that studied Unmoral Magecrafts,also is it also reason why he can use the Hougu of his other classes . and can you understand now why he has battle continuation ?

- - - Updated - - -

So, he died for an accumulation of conditions that weakened him + plot armor for David? That's basically Karna

So is the Explanation good or is there missing something ?

[King of Padoru]

The sheet explicitly compares him to Karna, so I suppose it's fair enough.

Well, but this is like Saphadin and his "Rule Breaker Big Crunch". One thing is making a story/ability similar to that of a different Servant, and other thing is copy-pasting and modifying things very slightly.

To answer your question, Koga, the explanation is good, but it's 90% Karna's backstory. Now, let me ask a question, and excuse me if I'm rude:

Sword of the Dark Demise
Barakium

Type:
Anti-Fortress
Rank: A++
Range: 1~99
Description:
A Demonic Sword that is derived from Baal ,it is a Blackish Sword that was once wielded through Baal and after he recite Vestri Deus est Baal are burst Black Crimson Flames out of the Sword and he is able to attack his Opponents with a Sea of Flames.It is the primarily Version of Siegfrieds Balmung because once fought Baal with it against Odin and lost against him and the sword broke in two halves one halv took Odin and made a new Version of which Name was derived from the combination of ist invocation chant and Name Vestri deus est Baal.

How can you twist lore so much that you make Baal and Odin, two totally unrelated deities, fight against each other? I mean, I kinda expected something like this, seeing how Goliath seemingly was a titan slayer, but this doesn't even remotely look real.
If you wanted Goliath's sword to be divine, I've seen a theory that says his sword and spear were carried to Ireland by David's descendants and became the prototypes of two of the Four Treasures of the Tuatha Dé Danann: Gae Assail (Lugh's spear) and Claíomh Solais, a fiery sword. You could have gone with this and it'd be more Nasu-like, as you're pulling a Merodach and making a prototype Noble Phantasm.

[Kabalisto Koga]

Well i have read that many deities can be compared/equaliized with one of a other culturspehre and i have even read of a comparison from Indra and Herkules ,but to come back at your Question i ve found somewhere a passage where Odin fought against the Giants that i realized that it could also be Baal who fought against Odin.

[King of Padoru]

Okay, I've had a quick read at the "Indra = Heracles" thing and you're right, but this comparison is due to both Indra and Heracles having performed a similar deed. Besides, both the European and Indian culture descend from the same people, so it's logical that their myths are similar, and as far as I know, there is no relation between the Norse and the Israelites.

--- update ---

Okay, I've literally just found a relation between Odin and Baal, although it isn't remotely close to your idea of a clash of gods. I quote literally:

The name of one of Odin's sons indicates the meaning of Odin's own name. Balder, for whose death such lamentations were made, seems evidently just the Chaldee form of Baal-zer, "The seed of Baal;" for the Hebrew z, as is well known, frequently, in the later Chaldee, becomes d. Now, Baal and Adon both alike signify "Lord"; and, therefore, if Balder be admitted to be the seed or son of Baal, that is as much as to say that he is the son of Adon; and, consequently, Adon and Odin must be the same.

[RoydGolden]

If you wanted Goliath's sword to be divine, I've seen a theory that says his sword and spear were carried to Ireland by David's descendants and became the prototypes of two of the Four Treasures of the Tuatha Dé Danann: Gae Assail (Lugh's spear) and Claíomh Solais, a fiery sword. You could have gone with this and it'd be more Nasu-like, as you're pulling a Merodach and making a prototype Noble Phantasm.

This is a really cool bit of information. Where did you find it? I read about his sword and spear being brought to Ireland, but nothing to do with the Four Treasures in particular.

[Bird of Hermes]

This is a really cool bit of information. Where did you find it? I read about his sword and spear being brought to Ireland, but nothing to do with the Four Treasures in particular.

That’s true. It’s good to have sources but also have them verified.

[Historia]

The world's most well-known fan-fiction.

The Bible.

[King of Padoru]

http://www.biblestudy.org/theplainer...f-goliath.html

It may be unreliable, but I think it's consistent as the other Treasures have Biblical equivalents as well (Lia Fáil = Jacob's Stone of Destiny, Dagda's Cauldron = Holy Grail).


PS: Please don't kill me if I'm wrong and this is total bs

[Historia]

You know, you could always fact-check the site's sources to see if they're pulling it out of their ass or not.

Then you'd have to weigh that against how Heroic Spirits and Servants and the World work in the Nasuverse and all that jazz.