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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #13401
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Where does the information on Failnaught being a boomerang come from? Don't get me wrong, the idea is cool and all but I've never heard of it being depicted that way in Sir Tristain's legend (not that I'm an expert on the guy, pretty much all the details I know of Arturian mythology comes from Nasu). Also, a quick wiki search finds a reference to how he'd leave his bow in the woods with a mechanism so it'd fire at anybody nearby, which is obviously where you got the inspiration for his 'trap' arrows. Clever.

  2. #13402
    超刻 Hyperreal Nuclear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Where does the information on Failnaught being a boomerang come from? Don't get me wrong, the idea is cool and all but I've never heard of it being depicted that way in Sir Tristain's legend (not that I'm an expert on the guy, pretty much all the details I know of Arturian mythology comes from Nasu). Also, a quick wiki search finds a reference to how he'd leave his bow in the woods with a mechanism so it'd fire at anybody nearby, which is obviously where you got the inspiration for his 'trap' arrows. Clever.
    Garden of Avalon says Tristan does really weird things with a bow.

  3. #13403
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Also people saying stuff like 'that's totally not a bow'.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  4. #13404
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Well, most people seem to be fine with Cleo's NPs so I guess I'll just leave them as is.

    Speaking of Garden of Avalon, has anybody made a Vortigern Servant sheet?

    --EDIT--

    Looking through the OP, I can see that the answer is no.

    New question: Why the hell not?
    Last edited by Crying; March 4th, 2016 at 11:16 PM.
    Certified F/GO hater.

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  5. #13405
    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    What skill is that?
    David's Divine Protection. We did get a description of it when he was first revealed which is why I am sure Lancer should have it, but it doesn't actually state what it does, not clearly at least. Unless the effect of it is "makes the Servant think they are a tool of the divine" but that sounds more like part of the cause for their possessing the skill.


    Since there's a combination Servant & a native American Servant right next to each other just a little before, I felt the need to update an old Servant I had lying around which is both of those. Definitely not the Archer from the fic with the last two I've posted, but one from like a year ago when me and my friends thought it would be fun to stat up some Servants and theorycraft our Grail War. It got old fast, and this is one of only a couple that neither bugs me with how low quality it was, or got destroyed by canon in /Grand Order.



    Class: Archer
    True Name:
    Hunahpu & Xbalanque
    Maya Hero Twins

    Master:
    Sex: Male
    Height: 185cm・183cm
    Weight: 77kg・78kg
    Alignment: Chaotic Good・Chaotic Neutral
    Attribute: Sky
    Armament: Blowguns, bladed pitz ball

    STR: B
    END: C
    AGI: A
    MGI: B
    LUC: C
    NP: D

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance B: Grants protection against magical effects. Differently from the Resistance effect that merely rejects prana, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected.

    Independent Action A: The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the prana supply from the Master. It is possible to remain in this world for a week even without a Master. However, to use Noble Phantasms of great magical energy consumption, backup from the Master is necessary. By Archer’s nature as a pair of twins, however, this skill ceases to function while the brothers are separated.

    Personal Skills:
    Combination A: An exceptional skill shared by two heroes whose legends are irrevocably connected, so that to summon one necessitates the summoning of the other. Archer is a perfect example, a pair of brothers who are better known as the Hero Twins than by their actual names. They are summoned together in a single container, but are reliant upon each other as they were in life- if one half of the Servant Archer is unable or unwilling to battle, so is the other.

    Divinity A: The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. Though neither of their parents were themselves Divine Spirits, both possessed heavy divine blood such that Archer was not inferior to the sons of major deities. Also, Hunahpu ascended to become a sun god after his death, and Xbalanque became a moon god, giving them some additional divinity. Archer exhibits high offensive power in regards to Heroic Spirits with a lower rank of divinity and a lineage from gods of death.

    Necromancy A-: A school of magecraft centered on the raising of the dead and usage of body parts as catalysts with which to cast spells. Hunahpu has a great deal of experience with raising the dead, and specifically with spells to raise the still living from a death in the near future. However, he is unable to successfully perform such spells on anyone besides himself or his brother. Xbalanque is capable of the same, but lacks the discipline for it.

    Clairvoyance E: Superior visual perception and dynamic occipital capture, such as to supplement the long-range aiming of projectile weapons. Though the ranking is low, it is perfectly suited for Archer’s form of combat. Rather than track a high-speed target from a distance, the twins masterfully keep track of a rubber ball covered in blades passed between them at high speeds, hitting it back and forth off of their bodies without a scratch.

    Keywords:
    Pitz
    The Mayan name of the ballgame played throughout much of Mesoamerica. Played between two teams in a stone court shaped like the letter I, pitz uses a rubber ball which the players bounce off of their body. The exact rules of the ancient game have been lost, but neither brother is particularly interested in teaching them.
    -
    Blowgun
    A simple hunting tool, a tube from which a small projectile is propelled using the hunter’s own breath. Used by Archer as a hiding place inside Xibalba’s Bat House, and to combat the god Seven Macaw.

    Noble Phantasm
    Xibalba: Game on the Underworld’s Court
    Type: Anti-Team, Anti-Worship
    Rank: C
    Range: 50
    Maximum Targets: 2
    A spell like a Reality Marble stolen from One Death and Seven Death, the highest lords of death, which recreates their kingdom of Xibalba. A ballcourt which manifests around the Maya Hero Twins, and which they can only use when together and facing two enemies, usually an enemy Servant and their Master. Using their bladed ball, the twins begin to play the game of pitz. Their goal, though, is not to win the game; the ballcourt traps the enemies inside, and is used to hold them both where they cannot escape the Twins. Requiring both to maintain, it will break if either Twin dies, or if either chooses to allow it to do so; it also requires the concept of a “supposedly fair game” to maintain, and will break if either foe dies, as well. Whoever is killed inside of this Noble Phantasm is given the ultimate penalty: they inexplicably fall out of favor across the World, not forgotten, but with their legend ceasing to be something worthy of tribute and cast aside to be lost in time. Imposing on the dead the same punishment as the brothers imposed on the lords of death, it is an effect which robs legendary Servants and nobody Masters alike of the recognition they may deserve. A cruel final blow for their enemies, but the ultimate gamble for two brothers who mean the world to each other.


    Long kinda rambly year-old Bio
    A pair of great culture heroes of the Maya, Hunahpu and Xbalanque were twins conceived when their father, One Hunahpu, had his head cut off and placed in a tree by the Lords of the underworld, Xibalba. The daughter of one of the lords, Xquic, came upon One Hunahpu’s skull and was bid to come closer, until it spat into her outstretched hand, impregnating her. She was cast out because of the illegitimate pregnancy, but convinced the servants ordered to sacrifice her to instead trick the Lords of Xibalba, letting her escape to the house of One Hunahpu’s mother, Xmucane. Xmucane eventually accepted Xquic’s story and raised the Twins along with their half-brothers, One Artisan and One Howler Monkey. The preexisting twins jealously tried to kill Hunahpu and Xbalanque, but were consistently foiled until the pair transformed them into the Howler Monkey Gods, and they fled in shame. The god Huracan asked the Twins to defeat Seven Macaw, a vain god who claimed to be both the sun and the moon. They did so with guile, replacing his gilded teeth with corn, though not before he tore off one of Hunahpu’s arms. Arm reattached, Hunahpu and his brother then gave similar treatments to Seven Macaw’s sons, Zipacna and Cabrakan, who claimed to create and destroy mountains. The Twins bested both of them ironically using mountains; Zipacna was lured into a ravine and trapped beneath a mountain, while Cabrakan was fooled into chasing a nonexistent mountain and then poisoned. Following these exploits, the Twins found the gear that One Hunahpu and his own brother, Seven Hunahpu, had used to play the Mesoamerican ball game known to the Maya as pitz. The pair showed exceptional skill at the game and relished in it, the noise of their playing disturbing the Lords of Xibalba as their father and uncle had done. They are invited to play in the underworld against One Death and Seven Death, the highest Lords of Xibalba, where the lords attempt to kill them multiple times before even beginning the game, with a bladed ball and a bench designed to cook them. Their failed assassination attempts spotted, One Death and Seven Death are forced to play against the Twins in order to keep them in Xibalba. The Twins throw the game in order to enter the Dark House, the first trial of Xibalba, which the lords of death had used to humiliate One Hunahpu. After easily passing the Dark House, another game is played and thrown, leading the Twins to the second trial, Razor House. This continues, and the Twins pass through Cold House, Jaguar House, and Fire House without incident. In the final trial, Bat House, the Twins stuffed themselves inside of their blowguns to evade the bat god Camazotz, but Hunahpu peered out to see if the sun had yet risen, and Camazotz decapitated him, taking the head back to the Lords of Xibalba to be prepared as a ball. Xbalanque alone played against One Death and Seven Death until he was able to recover the “ball” and reattach it to his brother, after which they continued playing together by using a gourd as the ball, and won. Embarrassed, the lords tried to trick the Twins into an oven. Seeing through this ruse as well, they allowed themselves to be cooked and crushed into dust, which was then scattered into a river. They reformed as catfish, which then took the shape of young boys, who gained fame by performing miracles and dancing. The Lords of Xibalba called the two for another audience, ignorant as to their identities, and they did entertain the lords; this performance culminated in the ritual sacrifice and subsequent revival of Hunahpu. Amazed, One Death and Seven Death demanded to also be killed and revived, but, having killed them, Hunahpu refused to bring them back. The Twins revealed their identities, brought their father back to life as a maize deity, and revoked Xibalba’s rights to worship, before ascending into the sky as the sun and moon.

  6. #13406
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Divine Protection is a "skill that gives the user the quick-wittedness and the brute strength needed to defeat beasts unaided."

  7. #13407
    I? I am Ardneh. Funderfullness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    Divine Protection is a "skill that gives the user the quick-wittedness and the brute strength needed to defeat beasts unaided."
    That sounds like something specific to David, since he was given wisdom and the strength to kill a lion with his bare hands. You could probably get away with the skill providing them with whatever divine boon they were given (i.e. strength, wisdom, prophecy, etc)
    "We don't need martyrs right now. We need heroes. A hero would die for his country, but he'd much rather live for it." -Josiah Bartlet

    List of Servants I've made

  8. #13408
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Assassin:

    True Name: Fuuma Kotaro

    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

    Strength- C (B)
    Agility- B+ (A+)
    Endurance- E (D)
    Mana- D
    Luck- B
    NP- C+

    Equipment: Aside from his signature Fuuma shuriken, he also carries a seemingly unlimited number of kunai and regular shuriken on his person as well as several varieties of deadly poison, smoke-bombs, a blow-dart gun and two shortswords strapped to his hips. Dressed to kill, literally.

    Appearance:


    Personality: Generally stoic and deadpan. His heart is that of a mercenary who's loyalty is to money above all else. There's little he won't stoop to given the proper payment. His relationship with his Master is one of convenience only, and he won't hesitate to betray them if he sees the proper opportunity. He, who swore no loyalty to lord or country, was reviled as a demon by his contemporaries. He didn't mind such a reputation, and openly embraced the moniker of "Kotaro the demon" to terrorize his enemies. Definitely of the dark and gloomy sort, but he shows a softer side around women and children. When Ancestral Return is active he displays a far more flamboyant and cruel personality that relishes in destruction, truly embodying the demon that he's remembered as in popular culture.

    Likes: money, calm and quiet, being by himself
    Dislikes: extravagence, pointless bloodshed, Inversion Impulse
    Talent: anything ninja-related
    Natural Enemy: Hanzo Hattori


    Class Skills:

    Presence Concealment (A+)- Allows Assassin to conceal his aura from others, though he has to drop it in order to attack. At this rank, Assassin can render himself completely undetectable right up into the moment of attack.


    Personal Skills:

    Innocent Monster (A)- The nature of one whose legend has been distorted by history. Assassin's persona was exaggerated in folklore to that of a fiercesome giant descended from Oni, over two meters tall and with inverted eyes. While in truth he has no demonic blood in his ancestry, at the same time his reputation as a demon could not be called entirely without merit.

    Expert Of Many Specializations (C)- Access to and use of many expert skills. As the leader of the Fuuma ninja clan, Assassin displays all the skills necessary for a ninja including disguise, horsemanship, assassination, hand-to-hand combat, espionage, poison brewing, escape artistry and more at C ranked proficiency.

    Ancestral Return (A+)- Otherwise known as "Inversion Impulse". It is an ability possessed by those descended from Oni. By surrendering fully to one's demonic instincts, one gains power at the cost of reason, similiar to the Mad Enhancement of the Berserker class. While not truly descended from demons or Oni, Assassin possesses this Skill due to the effects of Innocent Monster. When active he gains a larger and more monstrous appearance; his hair grows to cover his lower-back, crimson runic markings appear along his body and his irises turn jet black, with white sclera. Gives a full rank-up to physical parameters in exchange for sealing his Presence Concealment Skill and distorting his personality to be more flamboyant and cruel. Assassin is highly reluctant to use this ability due to his lack of self-control once it activates, and will only do so as a last resort or if forced by Command Seal.


    Noble Phantasm:


    Fuuma- Specious Armament Of The Wind Demon (C+, Anti-Unit): Weapon associated with the name of "Fuuma Kotaro". A humungous, four-bladed black pinwheel-like weapon that can fold up for ease of storage. Its very existence is an anachronism and it was never wielded by the real Fuuma Kotaro in life, but became associated with him due to popular depictions. Morever, its sheer size defeats the purpose of a shuriken which is meant to strike invisibly from afar, and is nigh-impossible to use without inadvertently bisecting oneself. Only a Heroic Spirit whose technique has long since left the realm of mundane humanity could wield such a fantastical weapon.

    As a Noble Phantasm, its power alludes to his moniker of "wind demon" by granting him dominion over the wind itself. With a swing, he can whip up slicing gales or even medium-sized whirlwinds to assail his foes. But his main use of this ability is simply to guide the shuriken's trajectory in mid-flight, chasing after targets and always returning to his hand when thrown, amongst other feats. Ideally, his opponents will never even realize he can command the wind at all, and merely believe his accuracy with it to born from inhuman skill or some property of the blades themselves. For that reason, he'll only resort to its more flashy applications (whirlwinds, razor wind, etc) when put into a corner.

  9. #13409
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Feedback time as I'm still working on that Jonathan sheet.

    Crying - Wasn't Vortigern Uther's rival who turned into an avatar of britain as a white/black dragon that fed on holy sword light, completely draining Galatine of its power and most of excalibur before being stabbed by Rhongomyniad? Do it. He sounds awesome!

    Clockehwork - Sorry I didn't give feedback earlier but I know less than nothing about these legends, or native american lore/culture. The stats seem ok, I like the skills, necromancy gives off good flavour and I don't know the last time a blowgun was used so the variation seems good.

    RoydGolden - I like the Ancestral Return/Inversion Impulse skill it adds a lot of flavour to him and makes for a rather good (fake) assassin similar to Kojiro or Li Shuwen- more focused on combat, he'd probably get the nickname 'Demon Assassin'.

  10. #13410
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Rider
    :

    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

    Alternate Class: Caster

    Strength- E (D)
    Agility- C (B)
    Endurance- D (C)
    Mana- B (A)
    Luck- C (B)
    NP- A++

    Appearance
    :


    Personality: Cheerful and carefree. Her years ruling the underworld alongside Hades have given her the keen judgement and savvy of a politician, but in her free time she just likes to have fun without worrying about such serious matters. She generally displays a lackadaisical attitude to the War, having no particular wish on the Grail and only accepting the summons as an opportunity to check out the modern world. Doesn't hold any ill-will towards Hades, and refers to him with an almost girlish affection. One of her favorite hobbies is telling random strangers about how her husband kidnapped her on a chariot for their honeymoon, and delighting in their horrified reactions.

    Likes: having fun, Hades, sunlight, flower-picking, pomegranites, Demeter
    Dislikes: boring things, gloom, stick-in-the-muds, Zeus
    Talent: open displays of enthusiasm
    Natural Enemy: Aphrodite


    Class Skills:

    Riding (A+)- Ability to ride animals. At this rank, even Phantasmal Beasts and Divine Beasts can be used as mounts, excepting dragons.

    Magic Resistance (C)- Cancels spells with a chant below two verses. Cannot defend against Magecraft on the level of High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals.


    Personal Skills:

    Divinity (A+)- Measures one's aptitude as a Divine Spirit. Persephone was born when the king of gods Zeus impregnated the harvest goddess Demeter, and was further deified upon being chosen as ruler of the underworld alongside Hades. As a goddess, she symbolized both death and rebirth, as well as the passing of seasons. Due to the Heaven's Feel system being unable to manifest true divinity, her rank in this Skill is merely (A+) instead of its original (EX).

    Golden Rule (B)- Measures one's tendency to aquire wealth. At this rank, money is scarcely ever an issue for this Servant. Hades was the god of wealth as well as death, and he didn't hesitate to share his riches with his beloved.

    Affections Of The Gods (A)- Denotes boosting of parameters as a result of divine favor. In this case, affection is from her husband, Hades. All parameters (including Luck and Mana) are treated as Rank-Up at the start of an engagement.


    Noble Phantasms
    :


    Arpagí Persefónis
    - Lovestruck God Of Death (A+, Anti-Army): Crystallization of the event wherein in the lovestruck Hades spirited away the maiden Persephone to the underworld in his chariot. That chariot was then given to Persephone as a gift when she became his wife and queen of the underworld alongside him. When invoked, the ground itself is cleft asunder and a great obsidian and gold chariot emerges, decorated with ornate carvings depicting scenes of death and mourning. It's pulled by four peerless immortal horses, appearing as demonic beasts wreathed in shadows with glowing red eyes. Despite macabre imagery, these are genuine Divine Beasts. Their names are Orphnaeus, Aethon, Nyctaeus and Alastor.

    The chariot of the death god forged in the underworld, it seems to darken the surrounding environment just by its presence alone. Wherever it travels, streams of lost souls trail behind it, howling and moaning in a ghastly display. Anyone caught up in this charge may very well be carried along with it to the underworld, becoming no more then another restless spirit amongst many. Despite their incredibly contrary auras, Rider's degree of compatibility with these horses is suprisingly great. They are loyal to her as the bride of their master Hades, and she is affectionate to them in turn.


    Krános Skión- Helm Of Darkness (D, Support): A helm possessed by the god Hades in Greek Mythology, said to make its bearer invisible. One of the original divine weapons forged by the Cyclopes in Tartaros, along with Zeus's thunderbolts and Poseidon's trident. Though not its true owner, Rider can utilize this treasure as a gift from her husband. By wearing it, she seems to melt into the shadows of the surrounding area, obfuscating her appearance and presence to a degree equivalent to Presence Concealment (C). Like that Skill, the effect only lasts as long as she remains passive, and will cease the moment she initiates an attack. But for stealth and tracking purposes it's definitely an invaluable asset.


    Paradisos Háidēs- Unrivalled Underworld Garden (A++, Reality Marble): The bountiful garden that Hades grew for Persephone to cure her of her homesickness for the surface. A monument to the beauty of nature buried in the depths of the underworld. By invoking its name, Rider can recreate that fabled garden as a Reality Marble overwriting the current world. Extending as far as the eye can see, it's lit up by ghostly wisps of warm light drifting overhead and populated with every kind of plantlife no matter how fantastical. The paths are paved with lustrious gemstones, and a brook cuts through at the apparent heart of the garden.

    Inviting appearances aside, intruders would do well to tred lightly in this realm. It is still a part of the underworld after all, and Persephone has total authority over each and every plant contained within. All of them are weapons to be used at her discretion against intruders. Vines sprout from the ground to tangle their feet, branches lash out like deadly whips, beautiful flowers open up to reveal rows of monstrous teeth or fire piercing rays of energy and much more. Even the byproducts of the garden are dangerous in their own right. The sap given off from trees functions as a potent digestive acid, and the sweetly fragrant pollen gradually dulls the senses of any intruder to inhale it. Furthermore, a "surveillance network" of sorts is spread across all the flowers and trees, giving Rider a constant bead on the locations of any enemies within.

    It goes without saying that all of these effects are harmless to Rider herself, and to anyone she extends her blessing towards. What to her is a paradisical garden transfigures into the belly of the beast to swallow her opponents whole. Normal humans would likely be torn apart in seconds exposed to the garden's fury, while even most Servants would be lucky to last for much longer then minutes. The phrase "beautiful, yet deadly" applies here in spades, needless to say. Despite the incredible advantage it gives her, Rider can only maintain this realm for a short time of a few minutes or so due to the obscene amount of magical energy it expends. But that alone is enough to make short work of most opponents.

    This is a digression, but any who tastes even a morsel of the fruits growing within Persephone's garden will find themselves a permanent denizen of her Reality Marble, wandering it forever as a nameless, purposeless and reasonless shade.

  11. #13411
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Give her EX Divinity. A rank still means they're a demigod.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, I'd consider maybe having Aphrodite as her enemy, since the two of them butt heads in a few myths.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  12. #13412
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asterism42 View Post
    Give her EX Divinity. A rank still means they're a demigod.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, I'd consider maybe having Aphrodite as her enemy, since the two of them butt heads in a few myths.
    I think that's the fastest reply I've ever gotten in this thread.

    The description I used for Divinity (A) specifies "either a god themselves or a direct descendent of one", but I admit that may not be terribly accurate. I also wasn't quite clear at first whether Persephone was a god to begin with or not, considering how complicated bloodlines are in Greek myth (like Erichthonius for example who was mortal himself despite being the child of Haphaestus and Athena). She definitely became a god after marrying Hades and ruling the underworld alongside him, though. I'll probably keep it as is, and just add a note about how the limitations of the Grail system make it lower then it would otherwise be (following the precedent set by my Norse god Servants).

    I'll add Aphrodite under the Natural Enemy section once I finish writing this.

  13. #13413
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    If not EX rank divinity, perhaps A+?

    Also, Jonathan is almost complete, he's definitely the most difficult servant to make this far.

  14. #13414
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Well, I'd be happy to make a Vortigern sheet.

    Problem is, I've never actually read Gardens of Avalon. I know what happens in it, but all the details and stuff are unknown to me.

    So I honestly feel like I'd end up getting something horribly wrong if I did make a sheet for him.
    Certified F/GO hater.

    My Servants


    The starting penalty is five.


  15. #13415
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    I can't find Garden of Avalon, even on here. Just wing it and make a revised version later if it's a bit muddled.

  16. #13416
    Bitchin' Arashi_Leonhart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    I can't find Garden of Avalon, even on here.
    That would be because nobody has fully translated it yet.

  17. #13417
    祖 Ancestor NMR-3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crying View Post
    Well, I'd be happy to make a Vortigern sheet.

    Problem is, I've never actually read Gardens of Avalon. I know what happens in it, but all the details and stuff are unknown to me.

    So I honestly feel like I'd end up getting something horribly wrong if I did make a sheet for him.
    http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread...=1#post1841686
    There we go.

    (I made an Agravain sheet a bit ago, so I feel your pain in having to reconcile what we know of him in GoA with the stories).

  18. #13418
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Servant:
    Archer
    True Name: Jonathan
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    Place of Origin: Israel

    Strength- B
    Endurance- C
    Agility- B
    Mana- D
    Luck- C
    NP- D

    Height/Weight: 185cm/79kg

    Likes: David
    Dislikes: Those who threaten his friends
    Talent: Archery, Body guarding
    Natural Enemy: King Saul

    Class Skills:
    • Independent Action (B) - It is possible for a Servant to stay in the world for two days without a Master. However, this is the ideal value achieved by maximally conserving mana and avoiding battle and Noble Phantasm usage.
    • Magic Resistance (D) - Cancels Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy.


    Personal Skills:
    • Bravery (A) - The ability to negate mental interference such as pressure, confusion and fascination.
    • Clairvoyance (C) - Connotes superior visual perception and dynamic occipital capture, such as to supplement the long-range aiming of projectile weapons. Capable of keeping track of fast-moving object within a range of four kilometres.
    • Horde Breaker (C) - The ability to fight against large numbers of foes. All parameters gain a '+' modifier when battling against multiple opponents without any support from allies.


    Noble Phantasm


    • Ezel's Covenant Stalwart Guardian of the Future King (Anti-Unit)(Self) (D): A plain and unordinary bow, it has no special offensive abilities. However this Noble Phantasm is the manifestation of when he protected David, spiriting him from his father; the king. When Jonathan is protecting his master his own identity as a servant is obscured without reducing his parameters and his master's own magical presence is reduced. This allows him to appear as a bodyguard to a normal human. Additionally Jonathan's perception increases by maintaining a constant awareness of his surroundings, removing penalties of visual and audio obstructions. It is more effective with the master within the vicinity as Jonathan feels more energised and motivated to protect his master.


    Lore

    Jonathan is a heroic figure in the Hebrew Bible. He was the eldest son of King Saul whom he often clashed with; and close friend of King David. Like his father, he was a man of great strength and excelled in archery. The relationship between David and Jonathan is one of the most notable biblical relationships.

    Jonathan first appears after defeating a Philistine garrison and capturing a stronghold single handily. He was celebrated and loved by the people and soldiers, demonstrating his "prowess and courage as a warrior."

    His father King Saul had lost favour with the prophet Samuel and God due to his disobedience, and his son-in-law David, was recently declared to be the new king. Ripe with paranoia, Saul declared that anyone who ate the food before the evening came would be "cursed." Jonathan however, did not hear him and was hungry after the battle. Having eaten some honey without knowing that his father had said, King Saul tried to put Jonathan to death because of this "disobedience", however Saul relented when the soldiers protested as they cared for him greatly.

    This incident only estranged him further from his father which led him to meeting David. They instantly became best of friends and Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. Recognising David as the future king, Jonathan helps David escape from Saul, and asks him to show kindness to his family.
    Saul suspects that Jonathan is colluding with David, who he believes is conspiring to overthrow him. Saul insults Jonathan calling him the "...son of a perverse and rebellious woman!" Saul even goes so far as to attempt to kill Jonathan by impaling him with a javelin in a fit of paranoid rage.

    The last meeting between Jonathan and David would take place in and forest of Ziph at Horesh, during Saul's pursuit of David. There, the two would make a covenant before God before going their separate ways.

    He perished alongside his father and brothers in the battle of Mt Gilboa. As much of his family's decline is tied to David's rise, so do the stories about David eclipse those of Jonathan and his kin. What little is known about him are his friendship to David and participation in the constant war with the Philistines.
    He is a model of loyalty, truth and friendship.
    Last edited by Bird of Hermes; June 8th, 2016 at 01:22 PM. Reason: Added additional skill

  19. #13419
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    So I see you've finally finished up your Jonathan sheet. Pretty well-done, with no particular faults I can think of. I like the Horde Breaker Skill, which reminds me of a similar Skill I used for my Samson sheet way back when. NP is also neat. It's obvious that his NP would be based off the Covenant of Ezel in some way or another, but the how of it is where one's imagination has to fill in the blanks.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I mean, my critique may seem kind of crappy and vague, but that's because I can't really think of anything in need of improvement and the sheet itself is minimalistic enough (not saying that's bad) that I can't really comment on the flavor particularly. But I wanted to at least comment, knowing how I feel when nobody comments on my stuff.

    - - - Updated - - -

    In wonder what would happen if he was summoned alongside his bro David in the War. Especially to rivaling Masters, for extra dramatic potential.

  20. #13420
    Quote Originally Posted by The Bird of Hermes View Post
    Divine Protection is a "skill that gives the user the quick-wittedness and the brute strength needed to defeat beasts unaided."
    That might be what it is but not what it does. Like how Charisma is the ability to command an army, and what it does is provide bonuses to allies in group combat.

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