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Thread: Create-A-Servant 3

  1. #7861
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Hi Royd, yeah... Thanks! Yes, it doesn't. It normally would if he was summoned as Caster or Rider, but as Foreigner he is no longer a friend to children truly due to the distorted mindset, and thus although he maintains the skill due to him truly having it, it doesn't grant him anything.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also,

    Class: Assasin
    Alignment: Chaotic Balanced
    True Name: Carmen
    Personality
    A kind but fleeting woman, as ephemeral as a dream. One second she is assisting you, the next she is attacking you. Her wish would be to be able to find as many true loves as she wished to.
    Natural Enemy: Marie Antoinette

    Quotes
    Summoning Line: "Assassin, Carmen. I am lovely, am I not?"
    Ascension 1: (already described) "I am the most perfect rose of the ball, am I not?"
    Ascension 2: (the ball gown becomes ripped and she looks more warlike) "I shall help you. I am a stalwart bloom, am I not?"
    Ascension 3: (the ball gown instead becomes bloodstained and roses grow out of all of it) "I wish my death had never happened, but it is time to move on and has been already."
    Ascension 4: (She is tossing a flower at the perspective of the viewer) "My dear, you shall love me too.
    Bond Five: "My dear, I adore you. I will stick with you. However, I will stick with anyone else too. Is that clear?"
    Noble Phantasm (L'Amore): "Oh beautiful bird of love, come forth and carry me away to my true love. L'amore est oiseau rebelle!"
    Noble Phantasm (Fleur): "Oh my darling, you will love me soon enough. Here, a parting gift. Fleur Que J'ai Jetee!"

    Appearance
    A woman in a red and green ball gown which looks like the petals of a rose. She appears to have green sleeves tipped with red cuffs, but those are in truth roses winding around her arms. She has red hair and is fairly tall.

    Stats
    Strength: C
    Endurance: C
    Agility: B+
    Mana: C
    Luck: A
    Noble Phantasm: A and B

    Class Skills
    Prescence Concealment E- - Carmen is ridiculously attention-catching, and relies on confusion to get her goals.
    Riding C - Carmen can ride horses, though not particularly well. She can also ride the Rebellious Bird.
    Magic Resistance E - Has never come across magic.

    Personal Skills
    Double Summon - She has the class skills of both Assassin and Rider.
    Vampirism(Love) B - Carmen can absorb and leech love of others for her, due to her constantly fleeting love.
    Rule Of Symbolism (Rose) C+ - This skill, due to Carmen's rose motif, allows her to magically grow roses along her arms. Her sleeves are actually the roses, with sharp thorns.
    Espionage A - Carmen can pretend to be a non-servant woman with no parameters. This state is broken if she attacks or uses the Rebellious Bird but empowers the Hypnotic Flower and Seduction. This is the sublimation of her personality in the form of a Skill.

    Noble Phantasm
    L'amore Est Un Ouisue Rebelle - Habanera Of The Rebellious Bird A: The sublimation of her joy with freedom and her famous song. She is constantly carrying a cage with a bird outside of it. When its True Name is activated, the Bird, now the size of a horse. leaves and charms randomly enemies while buffing her Strength to B and her Agility to EX for a short time. She can also ride it and fly, activating the same effects but in addition buffing her Hypnotic Flower to A- with the minus being on people not attracted to women.
    La Fleur Que J'ai Jetee - Hypnotic Flower Of Charm B: The sublimation of her charm which captivates. When this Noble Phantasm's True Name is activated she tosses a flower that charmes the first enemy it hits. The charm stays until she releases it through Fleeting Love but it saps her Mana as it is used.
    Last edited by jishara; June 14th, 2022 at 01:52 PM.

  2. #7862
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Carmen: I wonder if you should've given her Double Summon as she has both Assassin and Rider Class Skills. And never seen the play but I guess her first NP symbolizes her desire for freedom? Given you mention she can ride it I presume it's about the size of a horse.

  3. #7863
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Hi Royd, I'm adding Double Summon. Yes, it symbolises her desire for freedom, but also her famous aria, Love Is Like A Rebellious Bird. I have made that more clear.

    Also, Class: Alter Ego
    Alignment: Chaotic Evil
    Source: History, Grimm's Fairy Tales
    True Name: Grimm

    Appearance
    A man who appears to be living shadow. He has clear arms but nothing else clear. Those arms turn silver during Airgid Lahm.

    Personality
    He is a kind person occasionally, but his wish for the holy grail is to absorb all other heroic spirits. He hates and will attack anyone. His two personalities of the two brothers are almost always in sync, and none of the other absorbed entities have personalities in him.
    Natural Enemy: BB

    Stats
    Strength: D
    Endurance: D
    Agility: B
    Mana: A
    Luck: EX
    Noble Phantasm: C, A+


    Quotes
    Summoning Line: "Alter-Ego, the Brothers Grimm."
    Ascension 1: (Already described art) "We fused in our spirits to ourselves."
    Ascension 2: (You can make out a complete humanoid body) "You are making us?" "More powerful?"
    Ascension 3: (You can see a face with blue eyes and black hair) "Ah, closer to us, but also more powerful."
    Ascension 4: (You can see the full body, a twenty-something man with blue eyes and black hair in a suit. He is kneeling down in front of you) "Master, you can see me? You can see what we truly look like?"
    Bond Level 5: "We will always support you master. Even if it goes against our aims."
    Noble Phantasm (Airgid Lahm): "She sacrificed even her hands and still kept herself pure. Now we shall draw upon those pure powers wickedly. Airgid Lahm!"
    Noble Phantasm: "Come forth, my spirits. Help me where you can. Eternal Tales Of Grimm!"
    Child servants: "Would you like to read one of my tales?"
    Shakespeare/Moriarty/Blackbeard: "Oh Master, we just met the most fascinating evil mastermind today."


    Class Skills
    Avenger C - The nature of one who gathers grudges. As a result of several of the fused spirits, he gains this.


    Personal Skills
    The Brave Tailor C - His fusion with the Brave Little Tailor granted him this. Allows him to trick enemies into believing that his Strength and Endurance are EX. In the proper hands of the Tailor, this would be his phantasm, and take the form of pretending him to be massively strong.
    The Snow Of The Bed B - His Fusion with Frau Holle granted him this. Allows him to create gold and snow through tossing the Pillow Of Frau Holle. Other then this this skill cannot be used for anything else and cannot be used without the Pillow Of Frau Holle. Opponents cannot use this even with the Pillow.
    Iron Henry D - His fusion with Iron Henry granted him this. Seals his heart, weakening all his emotions. In this state, grants him the effects of Mad Enhancement D. As his heart seals break Mad Enhancement is replaced with Charisma of the same rank.
    Purity Of Eternity A - His fusion with many of the spirits granted him this. Makes him stronger against Evil enemies. Of course, as he is evil this would be effective against himself.


    Noble Phantasm
    The Handless Girl - Airgid Lahm C: Grimm never had this in life, but due to him fusing into himself most of the spirits he wrote about in life he collected this one. When invoked, his hands become pure silver and gain a potent Anti-Evil feature
    Eternal Tales of Grimm - The Book Of Grimm A+: Gotten from his fusions with almost every spirit in the Grimm Books. Invokes every one, temporarily releasing them and creating a devastating maelstrom of creatures. The creatures are an Anti-Evil noble phantasm, as the stories generally end in good winning. One of the most prominent ones which grant him his skill may come forward after this.
    Last edited by jishara; March 27th, 2022 at 11:57 PM.

  4. #7864
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DelRey View Post
    I hate what is going on as much as the next guy
    But the russia today is not the russia back then
    As someone with a Russian Servant coming real soon, this is my stance as well on the matter. These figures have nothing to do with the atrocities committed by the current Russia (unless you're writing, say, Stalin or Lenin for example), and so long as the sheet doesn't glorify their current actions or anything like that, there's no need to ban them. If it helps, just look at them as their own individuals rather than as Russians.
    Last edited by BnEl15; March 26th, 2022 at 11:32 PM.

  5. #7865
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Source: Bejey Muzones

    Class: Archer
    Other Classes: Ruler(Sealed)
    True Name: Saint Catherine Of Alexandria
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Place of Origin: Alexandria

    Parameters:

    STR: D
    END: A
    AGI: C
    MGI: C
    LCK: B
    NP: B+

    Height: 170 cm
    Weight: 60 kg
    Likes: Saints, converting people to christianity
    Dislikes: Cruel emperors
    Talent: Shattering destructive objects, converting people to christianity
    Natural Enemy: Amakuza Shirou
    Attribute: Earth
    Traits: Weak to Enuma Elish, Female, Hominidae
    Armament: A bow, her gloved hands
    Catalyst: An ancient and shattered wheel

    Class Skills:
    Independent Action A - At this rank, she can operate without a master for a week. She was a very independent spirit and survived for weeks while being tortured, so has a high rank in this.
    Magic Resistance C - She was tortured by magic in life, but this was in the Age of Man and so she has a low rank in this skill.

    Personal Skills:
    Blood Of The Martyr B: This skill is granted to one who's blood was said to heal. It was said that her blood was a constant stream of healing oil, and so it is. Every time she is cut, she releases an oil of mana which rejuvenates anyone to touch it.
    Rhetoric Tactics EX - In life, she was able to outargue 50 of the best orators, even convincing them to switch faiths. She was even able to convert every single person to enter her cell into christianity. At this rank, her rhetoric is close to a curse, able to control anyone whom she talks to who doesn't have an equal rank in mental pollution or madness enhancement.

    Noble Phantasm(s):

    Pudicia
    I Am The Bride Of Christ


    Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
    Rank: B
    Range: 0 M
    Max Targets: Self
    This noble phantasm takes the form of a simple ring manifesting her oath as the bride of Christ and grants her Princess Of Loveliness and Protection Of The Faith at the same rank. Finally, she will passively get every once in a while, angelic figures healing her. "Ah, my angels, thank you for your kind support."

    Contrita
    Breaking Of The Wheel

    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: A
    Range: (2 M) 50 M
    Max Targets: (1) 200

    Manifests in her hands. When actively applied, her touch decays artifacts, including Noble Phantasms. Ones of D rank or Pagan C rank phantasms or lower, shatter at her touch and are unsalvagable. C rank or Pagan B rank become unusable for three days. B rank or pagan A rank become unusable for one day. A rank and above or pagan A+ rank and above are untouched. She can also use this inversely, instead of as the breaking of it, as the wheel itself, summoning an assortment of arrows to shoot out of her bow, or just a single one that enlargens into a spiked wheel. "Ah, of course you can grant me your weapon and we can... talk~ it~ out~. What do you say?"

    Lore:
    Saint Catherine of Alexandria was the daughter of the governer of Alexandria. A vision of the Virgin and the Christ lead her to become a christian. When Maxentius started persecuting Christianity, she went and rebuked the emperor for his cruelty. Thus, the emperor called the 50 best pagan debaters to refuke her arguments. They all failed and many of them converted to christianity and were immediately executed. Next, the emperor tried torturing the saint. But she remained stalwart and was aided by angels, doves, and the Christ himself. More than 200 people came to visit her, including the empress. All of them converted to christianity and were executed. Twelve days later, the dungeon was opened and Catherine came out more radiant then before. He then tried offering her marriage, but she stated that her bride was Jesus Christ, and refused. Maxentius condemmed her to be executed on a breaking wheel, but at her touch, it shattered. He then condemmed her to being beheaded. Catherine herself commanded the execution to happen, and she bled a milk-like holy oil instead of blood.

    Personality:
    A fierce and argumentative person, she is still kind to those who need it. She would be summoned exclusively in ruler class normally, but due to her refusing to be summoned there so she can meet other saints, she has become an Archer class servant. She has no wish for the grail.
    Relationships:
    Jeanne D'Arc/Saint Georgios: "A pleasure to meet you fellow saints. But, are you really this calm and placid? You are a famed dragonslayer. You are a famed warrior. And you are both so dull."
    Saint Martha: "Master, I think I've found a kindred spirit. The saint with the large cross pole."
    Amakuza Shirou: "You bely all principles of the Ruler Class. How dare you force your way in?"

    Creator Notes: Update!
    Last edited by jishara; July 12th, 2022 at 08:29 AM.

  6. #7866
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Top-level creator's note

    Guess who Territory-Infringed his way to Del's European fine arts corner, while Conceptual Adaptation (Formatting) his way through WF's style at the same time?
    Well, this one's not exactly a painter nor composer, but I guess she checks out. She also has a... very WF vibe to her, especially after I read Nannerl. As if something's telling me "this sounds like someone she'd write about". Maybe it's the bittersweet wholesomeness? Anyway, that explains the format.

    The formatting took a while. Not as complicated as formatting my Pretenders, but still. I'll probably go back to my usual format for my next sheet... or will I? I do like the aesthetic...


    Well, that's it from me. Del, WF, this one's for you.
    Alter-Ego of the Sorrowful Stage
    -- The Swan Princess --

    "Hiii~! I'm so glad to finally meet you! I'm the idol that will touch everyone's hearts with my performances! Coming at you live, it's-"
    ...
    "No, that's not it either... too gloomy, huh? I figured. That's just the type of shows I've been performing my entire life, after all. I should've known that I wouldn't be able to escape that curse so easily. Oh well, pleased to make your acquaintance. I am Anna Pavlova, an Alter-Ego, though you can call me Odette. That seems to be the role I'm supposed to play this time around, and though I dislike it, I don't intend on giving a half-baked performance. Now then, this prelude has gone on long enough. Please find yourself the most comfortable seat in the house, and enjoy the show."

    ~ ~


    Source

    "Huh, this is a peculiar experience. I never would have expected a humble ballerina like me to make it to the Throne of Heroes. As an Alter-Ego, no less. I don't even have any immediate connection to Tchaikovsky's play, but the world somehow deemed it fit to give me this role... No, it's not the world, is it? It's the curse of the audience. Well, not that I mind. I've spent my entire life dancing for their sake, so one more performance shouldn't be a problem. Still, Odette, huh... I wonder if we're actually more similar than we thought..."


    Class: Alter-Ego
    Other Classes: Lover, Faker

    True Name: Anna Pavlova / Odette
    Alignment: True Neutral
    Origin: Russia (19th-20th century), Swan Lake


    Parameters:

    STR: E
    END: D
    AGI: D
    MGI: E
    LCK: B
    NP: B

    Likes: Performing, the sound of applause after a successful performance, animals, trying out new things, romance
    Dislikes: Straying from her established image, overly-strict teachers, pneumonia, the image associated with her, sacrifices
    Talent: Dancing, becoming the center of attention, giving love advice
    Natural Enemy: Pavel Gerdt, Rothbart
    Armament: -
    Catalyst: An old, worn-out tutu, a pair of customized pointe shoes reinforced with hard leather


    Class Skills

    Composite Saint Graph (EX)



    A Class Skill denoting an existence similar to a High Servant. A byproduct of Innocent Monster, Alter-Ego's Saint Graph is comprised of two individuals; the ballerina Anna Pavlova, and the princess Odette from Pyotr Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. The split is roughly 70-30 due to the latter's status as a mere phantom spirit, where the body and dominant personality belongs to the ballerina, but the two can seemingly communicate telepathically, and the princess' character may occasionally reveal itself.

    "As a 20th-century ballerina with no fighting experience nor world-changing feat whatsoever, it's quite unlikely for me to be summoned independently, making Alter-Ego my most 'stable' Class. It's not my only one, though. Hypothetically speaking, if I give the princess more control over my body, I might be able to manifest as a Lover. On the other hand, any attempt to summon me without the princess would most likely result in me being a Faker, as Innocent Monster forcibly binds me to her character regardless. I'd rather not be summoned as anything other than Alter-Ego if I can help it, though. I don't have anything against the princess, but I don't want her taking credit for my performances, and the Alter-Ego Class just happened to be the most beneficial compromise we could come up with."

    Object of Desire (B-)



    A Skill connected to the feelings of love and obsession which this Servant inspires in someone else. It functions as a passive charm skill on the level of a mental attack. So much as being in the same place as her can incite feelings of affection, obsession, protectiveness and lust. An ethereal beauty who stands atop a glimmering stage illuminated by spotlights. One who received countless applause, flowers, and praises from the masses after every performance. The love she inspires in others is less romantic in nature and more akin to admiration and longing towards a distant star that one can never reach. Odette's influence as a fairytale princess elevated this Skill by one rank higher than it should normally be. At the same time, however, this Skill can receive a temporary rank down (which stacks) whenever Alter-Ego performs an action that contradicts her audience's image of her (making an "inelegant" mistake, cracking or laughing at jokes, making bold, crude movements, performing any genre other than slow, classical ballet, etc.).

    "Ah, don't worry about me. This is of no concern. I learned to bury my true self a long time ago. The sad truth about showbiz is that no one wants to see what lies backstage. They only want to see their ideal image of you. They want to see the perfect star that shines brilliantly onstage and nothing else. Anything less than that is just unacceptable, so there's really no need to pity me. Anna Pavlova exists solely as the lone star that shines brighter and more beautifully than anything else, enough to illuminate even the darkest corners of the night. That's... all there is to it."

    __________________________________________________


    Personal Skills

    Innocent Monster (B)



    The "curse of the audience" that made her manifestation as an Alter-Ego possible. Normally, it's highly unlikely for someone as recent as her to be summoned as a Servant. Even with her fame as a ballerina, such a thing should be impossible. At the same time, it's equally impossible for Odette to be summoned as anything more than a phantom spirit, a character from Pyotr Tchaikovsky's ballet. A certain miracle managed to accomplish the impossible, however.

    Anna Pavlova was best known for her solo performance, The Dying Swan. While the show was initially inspired by a flock of swans she saw at a public park, as well as a poem by Lord Alfred Tennyson, it subsequently influenced modern depictions of Odette in Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake. Its initial depiction of a swan's final moments at death's door was gradually conflated with the princess' final moments in the latter's final act. This created an unbreakable connection between the two figures, allowing them to barely surpass the threshold required to manifest as a single Servant. The two cannot be separated, an any attempt to forcibly summon one without the other will most likely result in stranger irregularities (such as Pavlova summoned as a Faker convinced that she is Odette, or Odette summoned as a Lover in Pavlova's body). Incidentally, due to this Skill, the ballerina has also manifested at a younger age, roughly in her early twenties. Rather than the peak of her fame as a performer, her connection to Odette has seemingly summoned her at the peak of her beauty, when her audience believes her to be the closest in appearance to a hypothetical real-life Odette.

    "I did watch Swan Lake a few times back when I first enrolled at the academy. It was... a masterpiece. There's no other way to describe it. The screenplay, the choreography, the accompanying music... everything about it was flawless. It was the ideal that every ballerina in the country- no, the world- aspired to be at the time. It really inspired me, even if I never did feature in that show in my entire life. Still, a real-life Odette, huh... Is that how they saw me? I'm honored, but I think they're mistaken..."

    Pas de Deux (A)



    One of Alter-Ego's specialties as a ballerina. A ballet-term meaning a duet performed by two dancers, typically male and female. In a single suite, the two performers move perfectly as one, synchronizing each step to their partner's movements and creating a magnificent spectacle for the audience. In Alter-Ego's case, this Skill represents her ability to understand another individual's "rhythm" and synchronize her movements accordingly after a brief period of observation. This is achieved by temporarily weakening her sense of self and following the target's lead, creating an effect visually similar to Instinct and Eye of the Mind. Through this Skill, her audiences may be treated to a sight where an enemy aggressively tries to attack her, only for her to turn it into a dance as she gracefully dodges every blow, as if knowing exactly where said enemy would strike next... in theory, at least.

    In truth, there is a clear limitation to what this Skill can do. While it does allow her to "predict" an enemy's movement to a certain extent, it doesn't come with the necessary stats required to dodge or block the attack. In videogame terms, it's like knowing exactly what the enemy will do next turn, but not necessarily having enough agility to dodge or MP to cast a defense spell. It's technically possible for her to pull off a perfect "show" without a scratch, but it's much easier said than done. It's also possible for her to increase this Skill's range, affecting more than one target in exchange for accuracy, as she would be forced to constantly juggle her focus between the different targets.

    "One, two, step and turn. One, two, step and turn. One, two, step, turn, and... bow. There. You see, every creature possesses a certain 'rhythm', whether they know it or not. Once you learn to grasp it, you grow one step closer to understanding them. My most famous show may be a solo performance, but ballet- and maybe showbiz as a whole- is not a one-man show. That's why it's important to surrender yourself to their whims from time to time. It's important for the sake of friendship and understanding, yes!"
    ...
    "To what extent should you surrender, you ask? ...Ahaha, I don't think I know the answer to that, unfortunately..."

    Weak Constitution (D)



    The curse of frail health, which persistently followed Alter-Ego from her life to her manifestation as a Servant. Throughout her life, it was said that she had a "frail, sickly appearance", which only supported her image as a gentle, otherworldly beauty. Unbeknownst to the general public at the time, her condition brought her much hardship in life. It was due to this appearance that she was first rejected by the Imperial Ballet Academy at the age of nine. Even after she was accepted one year later, this weakness continued to plague her for the rest of her life, arguably limiting her potential as her instructors forbade her from performing more taxing shows (or even more energetic movements in general) out of concern for her health. Unlike a certain Shinsengumi swordsman, she does not have a specific illness that stayed for a significant portion of her life, save for a case of pneumonia which claimed her life at the age of 49. While there is no risk of a sudden status drop, it's easier for her to accumulate fatigue, wounds take slightly longer to heal, and she has a conceptual weakness against disease-based magecraft, Skills, and/or Noble Phantasms, especially those that restrict her movement, similar to a human with weak immune system.

    "Back when I was diagnosed with pneumonia, there was actually one way to save me. A surgery. The success rate was high, and money was not a problem, but... I didn't want to. The doctor said that I'd never be able to dance again afterwards. That's why I refused. I spent my entire life onstage, I invoked smiles and tears in equal measure, and every night I could hear the audience's thundering applause in my dreams. Just... what would my life be like without the one thing that made me 'me'? That's why I danced. I danced as my lungs burnt up and my throat felt like it was swallowing broken glass with every breath. I danced until every last organ failed me, until I could dance no more."

    Swan Lake (A)



    The final act to Tchaikovsky's legendary ballet. Turned into a swan by an evil warlock and heartbroken after the prince was deceived into declaring his love towards the warlock's daughter, Odette chose to take her own life by drowning herself in a lake. The prince profusely apologized, but his actions could not be undone. Finally, the prince chose to die alongside his love and jumped into the lake, where they would stay together forever. Their pure love broke the warlock's spell, turning the princess' spirit into a human before the two ascended to heaven. At the same time, a flock of swans- fellow victims of the warlock who accompanied the princess- mourned the couple's deaths, gracing the stage with a beautiful dance before returning into humans one by one and leaving the stage, concluding the performance.

    A Skill usable by temporarily increasing the princess' influence within Alter-Ego's Saint Graph, allowing feats similar to Illusionism and Mana Burst, esentially releasing mana and illusions in the form of swans. Examples include dissolving into a flock of mana-based swans to avoid damage upon being attacked, conjuring swan apparitions to surround and confuse enemies, conjuring their feathers and using their softness to minimize physical impact or hardening them to use as projectiles, and more. At her best, Odette can manifest a pair of wings using their feathers, temporarily allowing her to fly. As a downside, however, manifesting this form and all its effects for too long gradually reinvokes the curse of "drowning" on her Saint Graph, causing chest pains and difficulty breathing which could end poorly combined with her Weak Constitution. Thus, this Skill is more akin to a special power-up she can only use in short bursts.

    "I still have questions on the nature of 'Odette' in my Saint Graph. I mean, is she the same Odette as the one in the play? A real individual with the same name who inspired Tchaikovsky? The people's perception on 'what the character Odette should be like if she truly exists'? It's all very vague, but one thing for sure... she regretted that part. That's what she told me. She doesn't want to sacrifice anything anymore. She wants everyone to be happy without sacrificing herself and losing those she held dear. That's her wish."

    ...
    "Ah, it's wonderful to have such a goal in mind, huh? As for me, I don't know... There's so many things I'd like to wish for, so many new things I'd like to experience and different performances I'd like to try out, but... it just doesn't feel right. I'm nowhere as decisive nor determined as that princess. That's why I believe it's a mistake for the world to cast me in this role."

    __________________________________________________


    Noble Phantasm(s)

    Surrender to the Gentle Call of Eternal Rest, O' Dying Swan

    Le Cygne

    "I see, it's time for another performance... Then take a seat and behold. I shall show you a splendor like no other. The swan shall soar just one more time before embracing the penultimate fate that awaits us all. I present to you, my masterpiece; The Dying Swan."

    ~ ~

    Type: Anti-Heart
    Rank: B
    Range: 1-200
    Max Targets: -

    Alter-Ego's most famous performance. A four-minute ballet solo that she performed over four thousand times throughout her entire life. The short performance follows the final moments of a swan as it frantically struggles and flails in vain before succumbing to death, accompanied by Camille Saint-Saëns' musical composition Le Cygne. A reminder on the inevitability of death, and the futility in resisting it. It was said that the ballerina's beauty and talent worked amazingly in conveying this message. The audiences left the theaters in tears, shaken and convinced that their lives would never be the same again afterwards.

    A technique that kills the heart, the body, and finally the soul in that order, all without a drop of hostile intention. Calling it an "attack" would be a mistake, as it is closer to a harmless performance. Thus, most defensive measures would fail to trigger, simply because the world does not recognize it as an attack.

    Upon its activation, targets are transported into a reality marble; a moonlit lake in the middle of a forest, where the calm waters acted as her stage, and the pale moon as her spotlight (this may be due to Odette's influence, manifesting a stage that invoked memories of her final moments as opposed to the stages that the ballerina actually performed on during her life). From there, Alter-Ego began to dance, putting the audience into a bewitched trance with her enthralling performance. This performance fills their hearts with serene, bittersweet acceptance. They become acutely aware of their demise, yet see no point in resisting it, similar to the swan who fought death in vain.

    After the heart is pacified, the body comes next. Targets would feel their bodies weakening, parameters dropping, and movement slowed, akin to the simulated effects of advanced aging. Alter-Ego does not possess the ability to invoke this weakening effect. Rather, it came entirely from the targets themselves. In simple terms, their hearts had sympathized so hard with the swan's depicted condition of "dying" that it started to affect their bodies. These targets had effectively "placed their feet in the shoes of another" to the point where their minds successfully convinced their bodies that if the "swan" onstage is dying, then they too must be dying.

    Lastly, the soul is extinguished at the conclusion of the performance, where if they fail to completely shake off the bewitching effect by the four-minute mark, all their organs would cease their functions, while Servants would instantly return to the Throne, all of them fully believing that they are dead, and accepting this outcome with a calm expression of bittersweet resignment on their faces.

    This entire performance must be done perfectly from start to finish, without a single interruption. Things such as loud noises, heckling, or even something as small as a premature applause from the audience before the performance is concluded is treated as an "interruption", instantly cancelling this Noble Phantasm and sealing it for the next few hours. Of course, the difficult part is shaking off the trance to perform those interruptions to begin with once the performance has started. In that case, one must be able to temporarily suppress humanity, or be someone who cannot register sympathy in the first place, as the moment one perceives "beauty" from this Noble Phantasm, they would almost certainly succumb to all of its effects.



    Bond 5

    Encore: Return and Illuminate the Dazzling Stage, O' Undying Star
    Le Cygne

    "I see, so that's all it was... I really did overthink this entire thing, huh? The people's judgment, my public image, and so on... none of those matter now. It's nowhere as complicated as I made it out to be! I just want to keep dancing, not as the ballerina in everyone's dreams, but simply as myself! So... please feast your eyes on this renewed performance, an encore from my liberated heart. Le Cygne! I shall dance until all life leaves me!"

    A different application of this Noble Phantasm, achieved by inverting the "curse of death" and applying it at Alter-Ego herself. According to one famous modern reinterpretation of the dance, the performance does not represent the inevitability of death. Rather, it shows an elderly swan stubbornly resisting the effects of illness and aging, dancing beautifully until the very end. This reinterpretation introduces bolder, more upbeat movements as the dance now runs on the theme of hope rather than despair. While it has been accepted as a creative reinterpretation by modern ballet communities, it completely went against the original's intended message, an act that would have been deemed as heresy by the older generations. To perform this dance would mean throwing away her established image, as well as her instructors' teachings of a "pure" ballet, which is why Alter-Ego would first need to learn to fully accept herself before even entertaining the thought of performing this interpretation.

    Upon its activation, this Noble Phantasm "locks" all of Alter-Ego's bodily conditions in one state. Reminiscent of the swan who still strove to raise its frail wings, and the woman who still chose to dance even as her body crumbled from illness, this dance is a defiant "rebellion" against the concept of death itself. So long as she keeps dancing, she is effectively invincible; her health will not decrease and status effects will not affect her. This is far from immortality, however, as her mana cost is doubled for the duration of this dance. Combined with her Weak Constitution, it's unlikely for her to be able to keep up this dance for more than a few minutes, after which all the exhaustion and damage she should have received during that time frame would finally catch up to her, greatly weakening if not killing her outright.

    A dance that focuses not on the inevitability of death, but the human capability to create something beautiful before the inevitable moment arrives. In simpler terms, while the original declares that "death awaits us all", this interpretation declares that "death awaits us all, but that doesn't mean we can't create a wonderful life worth remembering before that time comes".


    __________________________________________________


    Lore

    Swan Lake
    Prince Siegfried is celebrating his birthday with his tutor, friends and peasants. The revelries are interrupted by Siegfried's mother, the Queen, who is concerned about her son's carefree lifestyle. She tells him that he must choose a bride at the royal ball the following evening. Siegfried is upset that he cannot marry for love. His friend Benno and the tutor try to lift his troubled mood. As evening falls, Benno sees a flock of swans flying overhead and suggests they go on a hunt. Siegfried and his friends take their crossbows and set off in pursuit of the swans.

    Siegfried has become separated from his friends. He arrives at the lakeside clearing, just as a flock of swans land. He aims his crossbow, but freezes when one of them transforms into a beautiful maiden, Odette. At first, she is terrified of Siegfried. When he promises not to harm her, she explains that she and her companions are victims of a spell cast by the evil owl-like sorcerer Rothbart. By day they are turned into swans and only at night, by the side of the enchanted lake- created from the tears of Odette's mother- do they return to human form. The spell can only be broken if one who has never loved before swears to love Odette forever. Rothbart suddenly appears. Siegfried threatens to kill him but Odette intercedes – if Rothbart dies before the spell is broken, it can never be undone.

    As Rothbart disappears, the swan maidens fill the clearing. Siegfried breaks his crossbow, and sets about winning Odette's trust as the two fall in love. But as dawn arrives, the evil spell draws Odette and her companions back to the lake and they are turned into swans again.

    Guests arrive at the palace for a costume ball. Six princesses are presented to the prince, as candidates for marriage. Rothbart arrives in disguise with his daughter, Odile, who is transformed to look like Odette. Though the princesses try to attract the prince with their dances, Siegfried has eyes only for Odile. Odette appears at the castle window and attempts to warn Siegfried, but he does not see her. He then proclaims to the court that he will marry Odile before Rothbart shows him a magical vision of Odette. Grief-stricken and realizing his mistake (he vowed only to love Odette), Siegfried hurries back to the lake.

    Odette is distraught. The swan-maidens try to comfort her. Siegfried returns to the lake and makes a passionate apology. She forgives him, but his betrayal cannot be undone. Rather than remain a swan forever, Odette chooses to die. Siegfried chooses to die with her and they leap into the lake, where they will stay together forever. This breaks Rothbart's spell over the swan maidens, causing him to lose his power over them and he dies. In an apotheosis, the swan maidens, who transform to regular maidens, watch as Siegfried and Odette ascend into the Heavens together, forever united in love.

    Anna Pavlova
    Anna Pavlova (1881-1931) was a Russian prima ballerina of the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

    Pavlova was born as a premature child who regularly fell ill for most of her childhood. Due to her weak constitution, her parents sent her to live with her grandmother in the countryside south of Saint Petersburg, away from the hustle and bustle of the big city. It was here that Pavlova first found her passion for ballet, when her mother took her to a performance of Marius Petipa's The Sleeping Beauty. The show left quite an impression on her, and her mother took her to an audition for the renowned Imperial Ballet Academy at the age of nine. She was rejected due to her youth and her frail, sickly appearance, but she was accepted just one year later in 1891.

    Young Pavlova's training years were difficult. Her severely arched feet, thin ankles, and long limbs clashed with the small, compact body favored for the ballerina of the time, not to mention how she frequently fell ill during practice and performances due to her condition. Other students frequently mocked her with nicknames such as the broom and le petite sauvage (the little savage). Even so, the girl was undeterred. She would practice extensively on her own after every lesson, claiming that "No one can arrive from being talented alone. God gives talent, work transforms talent into genius". She took lessons from many notable ballerinas and choreographers such as Christian Johansson, Nikolai Legat, and Marius Petipa himself. Finally, she graduated in 1899 at age 18, after which she entered the Imperial Ballet Corps and performed publicly in her teachers' works. Her official debut was in Pavel Gerdt's Les Dryades Prétendues (The False Dryads), where her performance drew praise from most critics at the time.

    Pavlova's early years as a ballerina was a turbulent one. She was undeniably talented, yet she still lacked a certain image that would properly cement her status in the entertainment industry. Her enthusiasm occasionally led to her making mistakes, such as one time her quick, energetic movements caused her to lose her balance and fall out of the stage. She also tried to improvise her movements during a performance of Sleeping Beauty, surprising the Ballet Master and disrupting the choreography of the other performers. She also tried too hard to imitate legendary Italian ballerina Pierina Legani, to no avail. It was said that when her clumsiness led to another accident onstage, her teacher, Pavel Gerdt flew into a rage and harshly scolded her, saying "Leave acrobatics to others. It is positively more than I can bear to see the pressure such steps put on your delicate muscles and the severe arch of your foot. I beg you to never again try to imitate those who are physically stronger than you. You must realize that your daintiness and fragility are your greatest assets. You should always do the kind of dancing which brings out your own rare qualities instead of trying to win praise by mere acrobatic tricks".

    After applying Gerdt's advice, Pavlova rose quickly through the ranks, becoming a favorite of old maestro Petipa. What critics considered as her greatest weaknesses- her small ankles and lithe legs- she gradually turned into an advantage as the audience fell in love with her frail, ethereal image, which perfectly suited slower, more melancholic performances.

    In 1905, with the help of choreographer Michael Fokine, Pavlova created her magnum opus, The Dying Swan. Inspired by the swans she saw at a public park, a poem by Lord Tennyson, and Camille Saint-Saëns' musical number, she created a four-minute solo performance that would define her career for years to come. It was first performed in Saint Petersburg in 1905, and it soon became a symbol of a renewed era of Russian Ballet as a whole. Pavlova would perform this dance for more than 4000 times in her life, making her frail, gentle figure synonymous with the swan depicted in the performance.

    Pavlova's fame only grew following her masterpiece. In 1911, she formed her own ballet company and toured the world, with a repertory consisting primarily of abridgements of Petipa's works, and specially choreographed pieces for herself. Throughout her travels, she also learned a number of "ethnic" dances which she learned from local teachers, including Mexican, Japanese, and East Indian traditional dances. She also starred in a few silent films, most famously The Dumb Girl of Portici (1916) where she played the role of Fenella, a mute girl betrayed by an aristocrat.

    Anna Pavlova died in January 1931 at the age of 49, after 20 years of world tours and 32 years of her career as a ballerina. A few months prior, she was diagnosed with pneumonia, and was offered a surgery that could save her life, at the cost of never being able to dance again. Pavlova refused, saying "If I can't dance, I'd rather be dead". Thus, she spent what was left of her lifetime dancing until her body could no longer move. It was said that her final words were "Get my swan costume ready".

    __________________________________________________


    Description

    Dislikes:
    "Nothing really comes to mind now. Back then, I hated this body for all the limitations it imposed on me. How it continuously limited my potential, and how it crumbles bit by bit despite my fervent wish to keep dancing... Ah, but I suppose that's wrong. For all its weaknesses, this body also turned me into the person I am now, for better or worse, so I don't think it's right for me to hate such a thing..."

    Likes:
    "Um... dancing, of course. I believe art in general- be it painting, singing, poetry, or dancing- allows us to convey such profound themes that our usual tongues cannot. The fleetingness of life, the gentle inevitability of death, the human struggle to find meaning in their lives before they are claimed by the hands of mortality... I think it's wonderful how my dance could move the audience's heart like that. Oh, aside from that, I'm also fond of animals! Did you know I keep more than a dozen pets at home back then? There was a Siamese cat, a few dogs, birds, and even swans there. I took a few pictures with them, but most of them didn't make it to the press. Management and all that. Oh, let me tell you about Jack, my favorite swan. Eh? Did I really name my swan 'Jack'? Why, yes I did! He was a fine gentleman, that one. There was this one time when-"

    Wish to the Grail:
    "I already left my mark in the world. The Dying Swan earned worldwide acclaim, ballerinas in the present day look up to me as their perfect idol, and I still have an army of dedicated fans admiring my every performance. What else is there to wish for? If you ever happen to get your hands on one of those Grails, I think I'll just give it to Odette. I think she'd be able to put that to good use."

    Bond 5
    Dislikes:
    "It pains me to say this, but... I hated the woman named Anna Pavlova. No, not the person standing in front of you now, but the person who stood before that brilliant stage then. The perfect prima ballerina admired and beloved by all... I don't hate my fans and teachers, mind you. They had good intentions, and they supported me with everything they had, but at some point, I feel like their perception of me had become a little... suffocating. No, it's no one's fault in the end, but... I wonder if things could have been different."

    Likes:
    "Dancing, of course! No, really. This time I'm not just talking about The Dying Swan, but dancing as a whole. Be it ballet, flamenco, tango, kabuki... Dancing just feels a thousand times more liberating once you've truly set yourself free from those expectations! Oh, and I think I've finally realized it now; dancing is more than a way to confer those themes I mentioned before. More importantly, they're a way to share the contents of your heart to the rest of the world! They define myself better than any word ever could, and upon realizing that there's no need for me to restrain myself anymore, you can be sure that I'll give 200% more effort in my next performance!"

    Wish to the Grail:
    "What else is there to wish for? A chance for me to take the stage once again, an opportunity for me to dance simply as myself rather than the perfect idol the people saw me as, this wonderful, liberating feeling that I've secretly desired for who knows how long... Each and every one of my wishes have already come true, thanks to you and everyone in Chaldea... So I'll give it to Odette. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for her after all, so I owe her a lot. As for what she'd wish for... a happier ending to her story. A happy ending for herself, the prince, and her friends, all achievable without the need to sacrifice herself in the process. Even now, I can't say I fully understand the things she went through in that story, but I'll wish for that as a symbol of my gratitude. Her wish is my wish now."


    An otherworldly, ethereal beauty. The type that everyone admires, but few dare to approach due to the impression that she gives off; a fragile, delicate flower that could crumble with the slightest touch. This impression also invokes a feeling of protectiveness from her surroundings, as if protecting a precious object that could fade away and disappear at any moment. Not counting this impression, Alter-Ego just feels highly unapproachable, not because she is unpleasant to be around, but because just standing near her feels like standing before a brilliant star who lives in a completely different world from everyone else. She speaks in a gentle, soft-spoken manner, but one just can't shake off her overwhelming "prima ballerina aura".

    Very rarely, Alter-Ego may display a different side to herself. She may try to crack jokes, speak in a chattier, more casual manner, or dance in a wildly different style when no one is watching, but she tends to suppress this more energetic side of hers before long, believing it to be "disrespectful" and getting flustered whenever the topic is brought up. Anyone who sees this side of her would be left completely flabbergasted by what modern audiences would call "gap moe". She'd prefer to pretend the entire incident never happened.

    In truth, Alter-Ego is someone who felt trapped by her established "image". For so long, the world saw her as a dainty, yet peerless beauty best known for slow, melancholic performances, thanks to The Dying Swan, and the teachings she received from her instructors, and her poor health. Thus, anything that goes against that image is considered "disrespectful" to the fans who supported Anna Pavlova (specifically, the gentle, perfect idol image of her), as well as the teachers who taught her to embrace that image all those years ago. As things are now, there's nothing she'd like more than to break free of that suffocating image she found herself trapped in, but she still believes that doing so is much more complicated than it seems. On one hand, she doesn't want to alienate her old fans and teachers by throwing away her old persona. On the other hand, she knows that she can only maintain that facade for so long before she breaks, potentially hurting her more than pneumonia ever could. Thus, in order to fully realize her potential, Alter-Ego must learn to accept her true self, one that differs from the prima ballerina that performed onstage during her life. Should she realize that it's okay for that part of her to exist, her potential could soar tremendously.

    On another note, her Saint Graph also contains the phantom spirit Odette. It's hard to consider her personality, considering she only communicates telepathically with the ballerina. However, if the ballerina's words are anything to go by, she's best described as a (literal) princess with her head on the clouds. She's especially fond of giving (unwarranted) romantic advice like a chatty, annoying gossiper active in your head 24/7. That said, she seems to reveal a more serious side of herself in the presence of an evil that would separate two lovers apart. She especially enjoys hearing stories of couples who overcame all matter of obstacles to finally earn their happy ending. Sometimes, she also takes something of a mentor role to the ballerina, telling her that it's possible to achieve her happiness without sacrificing her fans nor her sense of self.

    __________________________________________________


    Relationships

    Camille Saint-Saëns:
    "The maestro who wrote
    The Carnival of Animals
    Le Carnaval des Animaux
    , including the piece eventually used in The Dying Swan... Ah, um, if you don't mind, would you mind providing the accompanying music in my next performance? I believe hearing it played by the hands of the original composer would provide a different experience like no other...
    "

    Other classical musicians in general:
    "Other maestros of old... It would be an honor for me to dance alongside your accompanying music. Some of these styles I am less than familiar with, so I humbly ask for your guidance in the matter."

    Daniel Auber:
    "I-Is that Fenella? She... sure exudes a different presence compared to how I pictured her. So that was a mistake, huh... Well, allow me to fix that! The era of silent films may have long passed, but I just can't rest easy knowing I've completely misinterpreted a character! Besides, um... getting back into acting doesn't sound like such a bad idea. Now, tell me all about yourself! By pantomime, if you must!"

    Rothbart:
    "I'm free from that curse now, you damned warlock. Oh? That wasn't what happened? You think I would accept your half-hearted apologies now? I should make sure that the same tragedy would never happen again. That no other love would end in despair by your hands, by strangling you right-"
    ...
    "Oh, I'm sorry, what was I doing? For some reason I tend to black out for a few moments whenever I get too close to you. Maybe my condition is acting up again..."

    Marie Antoinette, Hans Axel von Fersen:
    ..."Kyaa, there's always something sooo romantic about childhood-friends-turned-star-crossed-lovers, isn't there!? Like, the realization that the person most precious to you has been by your side all along, aah, I'm just weak to those types of things, you know!?"
    "Shush, you're being too loud."
    ..."Ahem, in all seriousness, I do feel bad for what happened to them... and there wasn't even some great evil that could be blamed for their tragedies. Life really is just that cruel sometimes..."
    "That, we can agree on."

    Robert Dudley, Queen Elizabeth I:
    ..."The one you love is over there, and now you're both free from the royal obligations that prevented you from getting together back then! What are you waiting for!? GO GET HER, LOVER BOY!"
    "Hey, hey! Indoor voice! Or, um, in-mind, telepathic voice or whatever! Besides, you know they can't hear you, right?"
    "Excuse me, miss, but are you feeling okay?"
    "Oh dear, it probably looks as if I'm talking to myself again... AAAAHH, THIS IS SOO EMBARRASSING!"
    ..."You know you're only making things worse for yourself now, right?"
    "Apologize! Apologize for ruining my image!"

    Alcina:
    A witch who deviously stole love from others. At the same time, a maiden in love who only wanted a chance at true love.
    *Odette.exe has stopped working*

    Ludwig van Beethoven (Caster):
    "There are and will be a thousand princes, but only one Beethoven... For all the tragedies that befell the maestro, I still envy him. He may not be Mozart, but he still created such beautiful masterpieces. To exist as something more than 'the second coming of Mozart' and break free from those expectations imposed on him... I wonder if I could ever do the same..."

    Madame Tussaud:
    "A different art form to depict the gentle inevitability of death, huh... I don't know anything about sculpting, but I think it's impressive just how far you went in pursuit of your art. On another note, I'm not new to the world of modelling either, but I appreciate your company in these sessions."
    ...
    "Oh? What's that? My mask does not seem to fit my 'true' expression? ...Ahaha, what's that supposed to mean? I really have no clue on what you're talking about."

    Bond 5
    Izumo-no-Okuni:
    "You know, I actually did learn a thing or two about kabuki during my world tour. Just the basics, though. I think it's a wonderful art form, but I considered it too flashy for my image and didn't give much thought to it at the time. Now's a different story, though, and I'd be delighted to learn from the founder herself!"

    Meltryllis:
    "The Alter-Ego of Pleasure. Just as I thought, she... looks absolutely stunning! It's like having a little sister or kouhai who shares your passion, and even Odette seems happy with this turn of events! Please, would you rather call me 'onee-san' or 'senpai'? I'm fine with both, though I'm more partial to the former. It gives off a more intimate feel, you see. Anyway, we have much to talk about! Your performance was an amazing sight to see, and I'd like to learn more about your techniques. To begin with, your perfect triple axel, just how did you do that!? I tried to do something similar before, but I always got dizzy by the second spin, and one time I ended up crashing into a pile of stage props. My teacher got very mad at me that day, and-"

    Nannerl Mozart (Gatekeeper):
    "Another one who could not quite escape society's gazes during her lifetime... How tragic. I don't know if it's right for me to say this, considering I was the same not so long ago, but the people's expectations, how they wanted you to act, and all that... none of those should define who you are! Your talent is genuine, and the work you put to hone it, even more so. It would be an honor for me to dance to your accompaniment. Shall we begin?"

    Pyotr and Petrolina Tchaikovsky:
    "Well, this is awkward. It's more than just meeting your idol, it also feels like... meeting a friend's parent? In any case, I see that even someone as talented as the great Tchaikovsky still faced their fair share of hardship during their life. It's nice that they're finally free to be themselves in this second life. Um, anyway, if it's not too much trouble... would you mind providing the music for my first performance of Swan Lake? It's always been on my bucket list, you see, and meeting you here just feels like a sign. I mean... when else would I make this dream come true, if not with the great maestro themselves? Oh, and while I'm at it, can I get an autograph!?"

    __________________________________________________


    Ascensions

    Ascension 1

    Source

    "So this is how idols of this day and age dress... Not bad. There's a difference in aesthetics between now and then, but the I can still see some similarities in the basics. Anyway, what do you think, Master? I asked Miss Crane and Miss Bertin to whip up a more 'contemporary' outfit for me, with some help from Miss Angelica, and this is what they came up with. To be honest, I'm not sure the image suits me. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing their performances, but that sort of stage... just feels too bright for someone like me. It clashes with my character, you see."

    Ascension 2

    Source

    "Purple, huh. Now this is a bit closer to the kinds of outfit I wore in life. The skirt feels a little too long, but I suppose that's fine. Most ballerinas prefer it to be higher up so as to not restrict their movements as they prance and skip around the stage, but such bold movements aren't really my style. My teacher always said to leave the acrobatics to others. He said I should 'do the kind of dancing which brings out my own rare qualities instead of trying to win praise by mere acrobatic tricks', so that's exactly what I did."
    ...
    "What I want? Gosh, I... never really thought about it, now that you mention it. I mean, is it okay for me to just throw away the image I've built up my entire life for the sake of my own personal enjoyment? A ballerina should always dedicate their performances for their audience, you know? Doing any less than that would be selfish."


    Final Ascension

    Source

    "Aah, so this is what that princess has been trying to tell me this whole time... Sacrifices aren't always necessary. It's okay to be selfish and seize your own happiness from time to time. Their voices, their demands, their expectations on how I should act... None of them can change the fact that I'm me, and nobody else! I'm the only one capable of defining myself, and I won't let anyone else say otherwise!"
    ...
    "Now then, allow me to reintroduce myself before the audience. I am Anna Pavlova, star of the Imperial Russian Ballet, the swan that finally learned to take flight. I'm nowhere as graceful or perfect as you may think, but I shall dedicate this next dance to all of you, my beloved fans who helped me realize the dreams I've kept buried for so long."


    __________________________________________________


    Extra: Spiritron Dress

    Spiritron Dress: Witch's Night

    Source

    "Ta-dah! How is it? Do I look like a Caster yet? I recently had this one made for our upcoming production, 'Alcina'. Not Handel's version, mind you. You know how even mentioning that one gets her in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Mr. Andersen and Mr. Jonson laughed themselves to tears after reading the revised script, though, whatever that means. Anyway, opera is a new thing for me. Combining vocals and choreography together sounds like a whole new challenge, but I think I did pretty well in the rehearsals so far, so I do hope you'll attend the premier."


    Spiritron Dress: Casual Practice Attire

    Source

    "Ooh, this one takes me back. I remember how I used to sneak out of the dorm rooms at night to practice alone in the main hall. Well, on the bright side, there's no way I'd end up being found passed out from exhaustion the next morning and receiving a scolding from the headmaster here, right? I know my own limits now, hahaha..."
    ...
    "That said, Master, on the unlikely, probably impossible chance you find me passed out in the halls during the early hours of the morning, can I trust you to bring me back to my room? And not tell anyone else? Oh, not that I'd actually get myself into that situation, of course! That was a hypothetical question, and I'm sure Odette would scold me before I get to that point... right?"
    ..."Hey, why are you making this my problem?"
    "Yep, she totally agreed to it, so there's no point worrying about me!"


    __________________________________________________


    Extra: Valentine's CE

    Strawberry and Salted Caramel Pavlova


    Source

    Valentine's gift from Anna Pavlova (Alter-Ego)

    "A dessert named after me? Really? I understand how my performances redefined the world of ballet, but to think it affected the culinary arts as well... Now that you mention it, there's no way I couldn't try my hand at baking, right? I mean, it's a nice new hobby that shouldn't be too hard, think of it as a relaxing break from my usual performances!"

    It was, in fact, not a relaxing break, especially for the other kitchen staff.
    It was unclear what happened exactly, but apparently Odette had to take over to keep her from accidentally starting a fire in the kitchen?
    Whatever the case, the end result is actually pretty good.
    The salted caramel and whipped cream comfortably melts in your mouth, while the strawberries add just the right amount of sourness to the dish.

    This is a gift not from Anna Pavlova, the perfect ballerina , but from Anna Pavlova, the girl who can't cook to save her life.
    And Odette, the princess who did 75% of the work.
    She refuses to take any credit for it, though, saying that it's her duty to help a friend in need during something as special as Valentines' day.

    __________________________________________________


    Bond CE

    ​Dance of the Imperfect Swan




    Arms folded, on tiptoe, she dreamily and slowly circles the stage. By even, gliding motions of the hands, returning to the background from whence she emerged, she seems to strive toward the horizon, as though a moment more and she will fly—exploring the confines of space with her soul. The tension gradually relaxes and she sinks to earth, arms waving faintly as in pain. Then faltering with irregular steps toward the edge of the stage—leg bones quiver like the strings of a harp—by one swift forward-gliding motion of the right foot to earth, she sinks on the left knee—the aerial creature struggling against earthly bonds; and there, transfixed by pain, she dies.
    Ah, there it is; my masterpiece.
    The one show that defined Anna Pavlova to this day.
    Even now, I can still recall every step as easily as I breathe.

    ...But I'm more than that. I've finally realized it now.

    This footage actually helped me realize something.
    Swans... on the surface, they appear to be gracefully gliding over the water like angels. It was the image that first inspired me then.
    But underneath the water, their feet must be paddling like crazy down there. And have you ever seen a swan angrily chasing after a pedestrian in the park? Their noisy honking noises are the farthest thing away from graceful!

    Point is, swans are beautiful, but there's more to them than what people see.
    They're more than peaceful angels quietly residing by the lakeside.

    I'm the same.
    The real me is clumsy, headstrong, bold, eager to experiment with new things... and nowhere as perfect as my audience believe me to be.
    But that's okay.
    After all, despite all my imperfections, I can still create something beautiful, and that's enough.

    __________________________________________________

    Creator's Notes
    Someone who's so well-known with their ability to perform sad, angsty shows, to the point they feel like that's all there is to them, and it would be wrong to perform anything else because that would betray the people's expectations towards her... Wait, guys, I can explain! This is definitely not a subconscious cry for help from me, I swear!


    • This is mostly me experimenting with a new format. I had to add some extra stuff such as the costumes and Valentines' CE to put the bond CE exactly at bond 10, and while for me it does help add to her character, your mileage may vary, as I know some people might consider it unnecessary. You be the judge.
    • Apparently there was already a canon Skill called Swan Lake which belongs to Summer Melt. Its effects are still vague, though, so I decided to put my own spin on it. There's also a Skill called Pas de Deux in Drangle's Tchaikovsky, with a completely different effect compared to the one here. I... have no excuse for that one, unfortunately. Just realized that when I was writing the relationships section.
    • Credits to everyone in the Womb Thread for helping me with the NP. This one... really involved a lot of flavor text, just like Del's advice.
    • Speaking of the NP, there's actually some sort of psychological basis to it, called sympathy pains, where you feel other people's pain or discomfort due to a high level of, well, sympathy. Obviously nowhere as wack as how the NP depicted it, but there's some truth to it, at least.
    • Just in case you miss it, click the "..." on Odette's dialogue whenever it comes up.
    • In my earliest versions of her, her components are Odette and Leda, as fellow swan-related characters. I couldn't figure out how Leda could contribute to the sheet, though, and after reading the connection between Swan Lake and The Dying Swan, I figured both Pavlova and Odette already has a powerful enough connection to be summoned together, and putting Leda there would just be forcing it.
    • FC is Shizuku Hinomori from Project Sekai, an idol rhythm game. I think I just hit an untapped fc goldmine there. The thing about rhythm games is that while there's only the same 20 or so characters, each of them has dozens of costumes, which would be ripe for costumes, ascensions, and alts.

    Last edited by BnEl15; April 5th, 2022 at 03:20 AM.

  7. #7867
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Wow! I really love this sheet! Great job. What do you think of my Saint Catherine and Grimm?

  8. #7868
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    Grimm is nice, I like you taking his works and translating it into a cool skillset for him to use.

    For Catherine (and maybe some of your other sheets in general), I feel like you could add more flavor text to the Skills and NP, like more justifications or more tidbits on their lore/character relating to the Skill/NP in question.

    For Catherine's NP, I feel like you can combine his second and third NPs to one. In my opinion, Servants shouldn't have too many NPs (though there are exceptions). Two is my usual limit, though others may have different opinions on the matter. If you feel like the NP section is too bloated, you might want to consider fusing two NPs into one if they share a common legend/origin, or just turning them into a Skill instead.

  9. #7869
    Wyrd oft nereð unfǽgne eorl, þonne his ellen déah... Skull's Avatar
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    Anna Pavlova/Odette: Man, this takes me back to when I was a wee sprog in the days of CaS2 and Rothbart was one of my first sheets.

    "Here's a bangin lil' tune about takin' on The Man!"

    (Check out my Super Special Awesome Servant Compendium here)

  10. #7870
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    "I have answered your call, Master of Chaldea.
    You summoned the Queen of the Ocean, she who wears the sea's currents as her dress.
    With my mighty Phantasmal Beast, the god of dolphins, at my side, I will calm the turbulent tides of this era swiftly and efficiently.
    I am the Leader of the Nereides. My illustrious name is equal to the sea itself.
    Congratulation, the great Amphitrite of the Rid-"




    < - ⪻ - ⋘ - ⪡ - ⫷ -- ≋ -- ⫸ - ⪢ - ⋙ - ⪼ - >< - ⪻ - ⋘ - ⪡ - ⫷ -- ≋ -- ⫸ - ⪢ - ⋙ - ⪼ - >

    L A N C E R
    of the Salty Depths
    = Amphitrite & Delphinus =
    ──


    "GOSH DARN IT, POSSI, HOW!?
    I even dragged Phini along! Why can I not be a Rider again?!"
    "Lady Phi ... does this mean I can go now?"
    "...No."


    Class
    Rider Lancer
    Alternative Classes
    Rider, Assassin
    True Name
    Amphitrite & Delphin
    Aliases
    Salacia, Agastonus, Halosydne, dolphin of the stars, "Lady Phi" & "Phini"
    Origin
    Greek&Roman Mytholgy
    Height/Weight
    170cm/51kg
    Alignment
    Lawful Neutral
    Attribute
    Sky

    STR END AGI MAN LCK
    C C+ A+ B B

    Likes
    dolphins (especially Delphin), horses, sea-food, a good fight, her husband & the deep, dark and silent ocean floor, sad music
    Dislikes
    her husband's tempering with her class, hippocamps & his job, his inability to die, happy music
    Talent
    fighting & negotiating
    Natural Enemy
    Poseidon, Athena (Summer)
    Armament
    garment made from Poseidon's hull, enhanced trident made from corals, saltwater halo
    Catalyst
    A trident adorned with crab claws and corals


    __________________________________________________________________________

    < - ⪻ - ⪡ - ⫷ -- Class Skills -- ⫸ - ⪢ - ⪼ - >Class Skills

    Riding A
    As a goddess of the sea, she can ride Phantasmal Beasts born from it with ease. She avoids hippocamps.

    Magic Resistance A+
    A Nereid from the Age of Gods who became the Queen of the Sea. Of course, she boasts a high rank. The rank was further increased through Surrounding Third.

    Protected Divine Core of the Sea B+
    Her Divine Core of the Sea is coated with one of Poseidon's Cores. Attacking her Essence is harder than usual and her authority is powered up. But it also partially overrides her classification. Instead of her natural Rider Class, she will be classified as Lancer.

    "Lady Phi, I dislike seeing you so sad because your plan did not work."
    "I am not sad! You are sad..."
    "Yes, that is true. That is my role here, so I dislike seeing you infringing on my niche, my Lady. But perhaps you wish to know why Lord Poseidon prevents you from manifesting as a Rider?"
    "I thought it is because I got his Lancer-classified Head Core? So there is another reason?"
    "Yes, my Lady. He says, and I only quote him: "If you ride someone, it is me, baby." I thought that may elate your mood again."
    *blushes, turns around* "Possi, you sly...I understand. Thank you, Phini."
    "Moister than an oyster again."


    __________________________________________________________________________

    < - ⪻ - ⪡ - ⫷ -- Personal Skills -- ⫸ - ⪢ - ⪼ - >Personal Skills

    Dancer on the Misty Surface A
    The Nereides were a Fairy-like defensive army deployed to protect the Mediterranean Sea from monsters and invaders.
    Poseidon fell in love with this particular Nereid for her fierce yet elegant combat style. Lancer dances across the battlefield and weaves water spells with each swing that hits like an ocean current. A fighting style that combines her prowess with the trident, her authority over water, and her agility to a frightening degree. She deals extra damage against aquatic opponents and is naturally faster and more dangerous when fighting near/in water or inside the mist.

    Surrounding Third A
    Her name translated. Denotes her as the one who gained a third of her husband's authority. A personalized version of Blessing of the God.
    A garment created from parts of Poseidon's Aletheia hull. A dress with the colors of the ocean, which reflects light as if she is swimming through the clear sea. It ranks up all her Parameters by one and increases her Magic Resistance further with a powerful magical barrier.
    Halos of saltwater rest above her head and on her sides which she can use as aquatic discs during combat.

    Ocean Eyes B+
    Aquatic Clairvoyance. The superior perception of a goddess living inside the ocean. She can feel the movements in the sea and gain a limited future sight from it. She can expand the area further through Delphin's natural echolocation.
    When not near a body of water the rank is E. If it rains or it is foggy, it can rise up to C again.

    Silver-Tongued Companion D+
    The ability to speak persuasively and charm others with honeyed words. Not an ability of Lancer but of her companion Delphin.
    His words help to let worries and doubt melt away like sea foam. But this skill is gained from the anecdote of him convincing Lancer to date Poseidon. A talent not born from trying to convince someone to do something but him just saying his mind that convinces others to do something…because they do not want to end up like him.
    Also has a Cute Appearance (Animal) effect which is super effective on Lancer itself.

    "Sometimes I wish I did not speak to you that day."
    "Phini, that is a mean thing to say. Especially to your Queen! But you did what you had to. Possi ordered you to do it."
    "That's the thing, my Lady. I didn't know you were the girl he was looking for. You Nereides look all the same and I just swam by as a last stroll before I 'visited' Charybdis to end me. But you looked all sad like a puppy, sitting alone on the shore. I thought perhaps I can do something good before I leave this world."
    "Hey! ...That is actually true, we all kinda look the same... But yes, I do remember you being all gloomy. You sounded so depressed. I thought I should at least try something out of my comfort zone. Stay true to my feelings and not my responsibility as a squad leader. Else I would end up like you. Now I am a happy wife and queen of the ocean."
    "Yeah...you played hard to get for no reason. And then I was promoted from a spirit to a god, was ordered to serve you, and Poseidon created more of my kind to rule over. Now I can not die and SEE ALL THOSE COPIES OF ME, SMILING! Why are they smiling?! I never smiled once in my existence and they do all the time? And they are vicious! They kill for fun! What kind of twisted joke is that?!"
    "...yeah they are actually kind of fucked up from a design standpoint. BUT I love them and they look just like I wanted."
    "You did this?!"
    *whistles and leaves*


    __________________________________________________________________________

    < - ⪻ - ⪡ - ⫷ -- Noble Phantasm -- ⫸ - ⪢ - ⪼ - >Noble Phantasm

    Triania Kymopoleia
    O Sea's Currents, Rush and Tear: Trident Sea Ray




    Her original trident enhanced with Poseidon's powers. It has the ability to calm or enrage the waters around her at will. In essence, it is a construct to command the currents of the sea. She can extend the range of her weapon by sending out highly pressurized water from the tips of her trident as blades.
    When she invokes this Noble Phantasm, she jumps on Delphin's back and rushes through the sea. Her companion jumps into the sky while Lancer readies her trident. The dolphin begins glowing with starlight and from within him the five star pattern of his Delphinus constellation is visible.
    The mechanical enhancements from Poseidon part from the middle blade and form two additional ones around Lancer's own trident. The four peaks begin rotating around the center.
    Shouting the True Name of their attack, Delphin blasts a laser of astral energy and Lancer shoots a powerful beam of compressed seawater surrounded by four smaller ones circling around it. The amount of water shot at the enemy is conceptually a third of the Aegean Sea. Midflight they combine into a starry maelstrom that annihilates the enemy.
    When the pillar of water collapses, it rains stars which transform the area into a water field filled with colorful corals.

    __________________________________________________________________________

    < - ⪻ - ⪡ - ⫷ -- Lore and Background -- ⫸ - ⪢ - ⪼ - >Lore and Background

    Amphitrite is a Nereid from Greek Mythology. One day she fought sea monsters born from the depths that wandered to the surface together with her many sisters. Poseidon observed them 'dance' from afar and fell in love with her beauty and strength. As one of the leaders of a Nereid Squad, she wanted to safe face and fled to 'protect her virginity but was enthralled by Poseidon's looks. She fled to the sea and Poseidon sent many of his familiars out to find and persuade her to marry him. The elusive nymph could not be found or convinced until she met Delphin close to her hiding spot in the vicinity of Atlas.
    A depressive dolphin-like spirit of the sea under Poseidon's command. He was not ordered to find her but just through happenstance, he found her on his way to end his life. A short talk later she was convinced to stay true to her feelings, left the Nereides, and married the King of the Sea. Thankful for his service, Poseidon ascended his familiar to a higher status just before he was swallowed by the monster Charybdis. Delphin became the god of the new species named after him and was depicted among the stars as the constellation Delphinus.
    Poseidon granted her a large part of his authority and made her the Queen of the Sea. Together they became the parents of Triton, who would one day succeed his father as King.
    Delphin became a servant of Amphitrite. Another origin story of the Delphinus Constellation tells the story of how Arion, a gifted lyre play and son of Apollo, sailed home. The other sailors plotted to take his money and kill him but allowed him to play his own dirge before being murdered. The sad song attracted many dolphins and when he took a leap of faith, was carried home by the kind sea creatures. That was Delphin too. He likes sad music.

    "No good deed is left unpunished...Imagine just enjoying some music from a ship nearby and then some dude stage dives on your head and wouldn't let go of you until you reached the next island. And to top it off he would not stop playing happy music after that.
    I hate happy music."


    __________________________________________________________________________

    < - ⪻ - ⪡ - ⫷ -- Personality & Quotes -- ⫸ - ⪢ - ⪼ - >Personality & Quotes

    Amphitrite acts like a stern warrior queen toward strangers but this persona quickly fades if alone with her companion. A woman who loves fighting the beasts of the sea and then cooking her trophies to have a hearty meal. She played hard to get at first but she loves her husband with every fiber. It seems like she has a thing for macho studs like Poseidon, who she lovingly calls Possi. Their love life is...well, look up what her Epithet Agastonos means.
    When she opens up to others, she continues her seemingly cold act towards them but uses cute nicknames for them. The whole dolphin species was made for her because she thought Delphin was cute. She blushes when one notices her adoration for 'girly things' like animals. She loves horses too but for some reason the mixture of dolphins and horses, the hippocamps, make her skin crawl. Unnatural combinations, in general, are her suspect. So do not mention you like catgirls.
    Her water halo depicts her mood sometimes. If she is sad it rains a little, if she hides her excitement the halo dances and if she loves little heart shapes form around the edges. Secret intel from Phini suggests it is Poseidon's way to know what she is thinking.
    She would never back down from a challenge. She is a proud fighter but after her marriage, she did not see much action because Poseidon feared others would be bewitched by her combat abilities like he was.

    Delphin is just sad. A depressive dolphin that does not want to be here anymore but has to. When he became a god his personality was fixed at the moment of his apotheosis so curing him is not really possible. He likes to be left alone on the ocean floor to act like he is dead. This brings him peace from the stressful job of serving the queen or sending messages for Poseidon and the rest of their merry family. He does like sad music.
    Despite being a god of dolphins, he dislikes his kind. He can not trust beings that seem always happy like they are. That they are formed after his image annoys him. He has a dry self-deprecating humor that sometimes unsettles his friends.

    "I have no wisdom to share, Master. The Queen standing before you rather fights than gives advice. You have enough wise ladies here. But if you need help trashing some sea monster, call for me."

    "So an alternative name for my constellation is 'Job's Coffin'? Shower my wounds with more saltwater, would you please?"
    "But I heard it is also the 69th constellation in size."
    "Nice."


    Francis Drake:
    "Get here you wench! You hurt my Possi and stole his grail! Time to give it back. I will feed your intestines to my companion and drink wine from your skull."
    "Eeuuuw. That's disgusting."


    Hevelius-Holst
    "Do not even dare to think about taking away my Phini with your powers. I will break your frail neck, human."
    "Please try anyway..."
    "What did you say?"
    "My loyalty belongs to Lady Amphitrite only, you villain! I'll eat your intestines if you dare...or something. Please!"


    Captain Nemo/Triton:
    "Hey, my little jellyfish! Aw, you still look cute, even if you are a bit different. I remember how you liked to play the shipwrecks your father got you from time to time. Now you can play with a big ship. Daddy is proud of you!"

    Meltryllis:
    They developed a friendly rivalry. They often spar together to find out who is the better fighter.

    Ciabhan:
    Delphin and Ciabhan became buddies at Summer Freud's bar. Them preferring Whisky, notorious for bringing out negative emotions, is a great chance for Freud to observe the differences in depression between aquatic life and humans.

    Summer Jeanne:
    "Look at this dude. Smiling all day, being happy to serve that woman he met on a beach...wouldn't be me!

    Anna Pavlova/Odette:
    "Like this? Oh man how can a frail little coral flower like you hold those positions? I feel like this kind of dance is harder than fighting! One, two three..."
    "I do not have the limbs for it but if I try, can I die like the swan too?"


    Charybdis:
    "Well...I do owe you a snack...wanna grab a bite? Not me, that would not work, sadly. But my Queen does some pretty good crabs. If I ask she would..."
    ...
    "Did you ask her out?"
    "..."
    "Aww, he smiled...that's nice. Wait, are you bleeding? PHINI!?"


    __________________________________________________________________________

    < - ⪻ - ⪡ - ⫷ -- Craft Essence -- ⫸ - ⪢ - ⪼ - >Craft Essence

    The Unwanted Class

    "Phini, I just noticed that I do not have my Chariot Noble Phantasm. Poseidon took it."
    "Oh no, what we do~ how tragic~"
    "You are just glad you do not have to pull it."
    "Of course! It is not even my job! The hippocamps were supposed to do it!"
    "You know how much I dislike them. This unholy fusion of two animals makes me feel jucky."
    "My constant state of being feels like this. You get used to it."
    "Then I perform my Noble Phantasm without the chariot. You take over its water beam. And I will use your back for standing."
    "Come again?"
    "Now that I think about it, I like this version even more. You do have a good laser beam when channeling your asterism. This might work out even better than before."
    "I think we should ask Lord Poseidon if --- ooof my back!"
    "Away to the simulation room! We have to train our new Noble Phantasm, Phini!"
    "Poseidon..."


    __________________________________________________________________________

    < - ⪻ - ⪡ - ⫷ -- Notes -- ⫸ - ⪢ - ⪼ - >Notes:
    A new case of "I love the art, I have to make a Servant out of it before anyone else". Same artist as my Pallanides, SWAV.
    Name of the NP is the name of her daughter, who got married to Briareos. Ya know, that one beast with 100 heads and stuff. He is the storm and she was the violent storm waves of him. But she had the name of "wave-stiller" too.
    The Dancer skill was inspired by a passage she appeared in.
    For those too lazy to look up Agastonos, it means 'Loud-Moaning'. From that and the anecdote of dolphins being attracted to arion's dirge, their personalities were formed.
    The Rider/Lancer stuff was from me being indecisive what class she should be. Then I remembered Poseidons different cores in the LB and decided to use this anecdote for her gimmick.
    I tried to find a FC for Delphin for not even 5min. If someone got suggestion for a depressive looking delphin lemme know.
    Nereides were the protectors of fishermen. So them being a fighting squad is not farfetched.
    No one knows that her name 'surrounding third' actually means. Triton means 'of the third' too. I think one day when I do a Poseidon sheet (No NINE, dont write me for this one) I make him the Third in line of something? A reference of him being the one in charge after Zeus and Hades? Or the third in line of his job after Protogenoi Pontos and Titan Okeanos?
    Last edited by DelRey; September 27th, 2022 at 02:27 PM.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  11. #7871
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Hi BnEl: Thank you for the comments. I will revise those now. I have also attached another one. How is this?

    Class: CasterPretender
    Alignment: Lawful Good
    True Name: Victor HartmannModeste Mussorsky
    Strength: DD
    Endurance: DB
    Agility: AB
    Mana: CA
    Luck: DD
    Noble Phantasm: DB

    Lore:

    Victor Hartmann was a fairly standard painter who died in the 1870s. His only big contribution which placed him on the throne was the paintings which inspired his dear friend Mussorsky's Pictures At The ExhibitionModest Mussorsky was a famous composer in the late 19th century. He was known to create a uniquely nationalistic style of music. This Mussorsky was summoned just after Hartmann died, while he was still grieving, causing him to summon himself as Pretender to keep Hartmann's memory alive.

    Personality:
    A grumpy and snappish person. Never willing to talk or help. His wish for the holy grail would be to be more famous then Mussorsky.
    Natural Enemy: Modeste Mussorsky
    A kind and genuine person, always willing to laugh with you. He has an undertinge of depression though, due to him being summoned just after writing the Pictures to commemorate Hartmann. His wish for the holy grail would be for Hartmann to be far more famous.
    Natural Enemy: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

    Quotes:
    Summoning Quote: "Hello, I am Caster, Victor Hartmann. You've never heard of me? How dare you!"
    Ascension 1 (Same appearance as described): "I want to work on my paintings, so that I can be seen as a great artist."
    Ascension 2 (He wears a paint-splattered smock instead of the tuxedo): "Of course I am less formal now, we know each other."
    Van Gogh: "Ah, you are not Van Gogh? Are you? Peculiar."
    Hokusai/Da Vinci: "I admire your artwork."

    Ascension 3 (He wears a simple blue shirt and gray pants) "I apologize for lying about my name. Pretender, Modeste Mussorsky."
    Ascension 4 (He looks at a painting on a wall) "Here, this is one of my favorites, the dance costume for little baby chicks."
    Bond Five: "I'm truly sorry about lying."
    Van Gogh: "You and I are one and the same."

    Appearance:
    An average-height man, looking about 25, with light brown hair. He is in a formal tuxedo. He holds a paintbrush next to him at all times, as well as some strange paperStack of music paper with him at all times so he can write down his ideas, and a paintbrush instead of a pen.
    Class Skills:
    Territory Creation A - Caster can create a gallery of pictures that allows him to empower his blows.
    Item Creation D - Caster can create anything that was within his works.

    Pretender Inversed A - Pretender is in actuality far more powerful than the person who's name he was summoned under, but due to his grief, can almost never be summoned out of this. This still has a certain kind of logic to it though, as Pretender made the pictures far more famous then they would normally ever be. Coincidentally, if Hartmann were to ever be summoned, it would be as Faker under Mussorsky's name.

    Personal Skills:
    Art Attacker CMusic Magic A: Hartmann isn't incredible at this, but he can use his painting as magic. However, it seems that every time he paints, the faint sound of music comes on. Mussorsky is in actuality using the music he composed as magic, while the painting itself is painfully mundane.
    Familiar (Chick Dance) - Allows him to summon chicken chicks and have them dance around. The sublimation of HisHartmann's ballet costume designs. They are weak and have only Item Creation E and Territory Creation E.


    Noble Phantasm:
    Pictures At MyAn Exhibition DB- This is the embodiment of the famous gallery that inspired Mussorsky to write Pictures at an Exhibition. When activated, he is able to summon forth one of the designs he had to become a pseudo-reality marble. In reality this is the sublimation of the piece itself, written by Mussorsky. He can use it in far more ways then he showed, assaulting enemies with emotion-affecting music, controlling them to fit into the paintings...
    Last edited by jishara; March 28th, 2022 at 12:37 AM.

  12. #7872
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    BnEl: Well, guess who Copyright Claims you for this misdemeanor?
    truly a great work from you. I enjoyed reading it.
    But i have technical qualms. First, both are phantoms but phantoms do not need to be AlterEgos. Look at Shinjuku and Nemo. But because your play on alternative classes are so strong we can overlook this minor nitpick.
    Still, on that matter the CSG skill seems redundant because no other Phantom has it. But it is basically like the High-Servant skill...which does nothing and just tells us they are a high servant. But I think the perfect place would be in Pas de deux as it thematically fits well and explains the high rank in it despite it being relatively weak due her low stats etc. To fix the naming problem because Tchaikovsky uses it too, give it the epithet of (Ballerina) and treat Drangles version as (Danseur). You could also use parts of the Grand Pas de deux like (Adagio), (Entree), (Variation) or (Coda). I really like what you and Drangle did with the concept. He did one as two and you did two as one.
    The format is of course pretty but you dont have force yourself to fill all the 10 bonds.
    Overall one of your best works this year for sure.
    Now I have to add a quote for her to my sheet
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  13. #7873
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Do you happen to have a comment for my HartmannMussorsky sheet?

  14. #7874
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    your short sheets do not fare well for classes of a higher conceptual level such as Foreigners and Pretenders. They rely on atmosphere, explanation and subversion of expectation which can not be done in such short posts.
    They appear rushed and surface level through the presentation. A sheet should not be shorter than what Vance and Kamera do in their sheets.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  15. #7875
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Hi DelRey, thanks for the comments. I will work on fixing those for Marius, Nannerl, and Hartmann.
    Last edited by jishara; March 27th, 2022 at 10:32 AM.

  16. #7876
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    @Del: Huh, you're right about the parallels between her and Tchaikovsky. Had I read them earlier on, I probably could have used a variation of his Pas de Deux in place of CSG (and rename her ballet-dodge Skill as something else, idk not that familiar with ballet terms). Noted, I'll try not to force an unnecessary CSG/High Servant Skill for my next Alter-Ego.

    Mrs. Sea-Queen and her depressed dolphin:
    Now this is a simple sheet I can get behind. I feel like your characterization really shines in this particular sheet, with every Skill and quote supporting their fun dynamic without making the sheet feel too bloated. Nice work (also as you can probably see by now, I'm not good at writing more elaborate reviews, but you can just imagine me giving an approving thumbs-up to this sheet).

  17. #7877
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Hi BnEl, what do you think of Hartmann?

  18. #7878
    Local Extra Class Aficionado DelRey's Avatar
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    i think your pas de deux skill is great as it is and adding the CSG effect to it would make it even better thematically.
    and thx for the review. It was a quick sheet and the formatting took longer than the conceptualization, so I am glad you liked it. And dw about your reviews, I get how my fellow veterans review here

    and i forgot to mention but I feel what you mean with the WF vibe. Im a bit stuck with a sheet I am convinced she should do but I have to get it out of my system as well.
    "Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."



    Behold my vault of Heroes.
    Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.


    The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
    University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings

    Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
    Create-a-Servant 4 soon.

  19. #7879
    Your average angst/edge supplier BnEl15's Avatar
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    "Hartmann":
    While I admire how you decided to write a Pretender this early on, I do agree with Del that the twist kinda falls flat, possibly due to your formatting. Most Fakers and Pretenders rely on bamboozling the readers with one expectation and hitting them with another through a big reveal. Like knowing this is a sheet of figure X, then revealing it to be figure Y instead, subverting the readers' expectations. In your case, I'm not that invested in "Hartmann" to begin with (I never heard of him before), so when the reveal hits, I just went "who?" (never heard of Mussorsky either before this sheet). I think fleshing out his character and lore better (maybe through a short bio, some quotes, etc.) would help us get more invested in the sheet, increasing the payoff when the reveal hits.

  20. #7880
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors
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    Hi BnEl, thanks for your comments. I will go through it.

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