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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #5681
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One Siriel's Avatar
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    There are always more worms.

  2. #5682
    Thanks for Spinecrush ma’am may I have another!

  3. #5683
    Κυρία Ἐλέησον Seika's Avatar
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    Huh. That's a real improvement from the rough draft. Nicely done.

    Perseverance where you had Battle Continuation before is a good change, but I'm still not wholly convinced by the rank. I feel that there are enough heroic feats of stubbornness in world mythology which are beyond 'standing in an incredibly difficult wrestling match for a night', so A+ is perhaps overestimating him.

    Eventually, it would be imbued with the feat "bow that shot arrows true against feasibilities''
    This needs explaining - what was the context of the feat (if it's related to the divine duel, then in what way did it act against feasibility?) and what is the effect?

    These skills maybe conferred to others a total of 12 times, after which it is lost forever. As long as one use remains, however, Jacob can activate it without expending a charge.
    'May be'. And I'm not quite sure what this second sentence is actually meant to say. Is it that he can activate it for himself whenever he wants if there's only a single charge left (but only could bestow it on another once more)?

    Otherwise, yeah, vastly better.
    Last edited by Seika; May 18th, 2013 at 03:44 AM.
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  4. #5684
    Perseverance where you had Battle Continuation before is a good change, but I'm still not wholly convinced by the rank. I feel that there are enough heroic feats of stubbornness in world mythology which are beyond 'standing in an incredibly difficult wrestling match for a night', so A+ is perhaps overestimating him.
    I guess? I'm still fairly certain that a weakling who abhors hunting and prefer to stay home and cooks somehow managing to overpower a God is pretty impressive. Think of it this way- whose feat would be more remembered? Superman flying into a burning building to save a baby, or a fireman doing the same? In the former case, Superman knew that he wouldn't be harmed by the fire. In the latter, the fireman may well fail or be burned alive.

    The gist of it is that, heroics carry with it a connotation that the people who perform them did so in the face of overwhelming chance of failure. For a single, glorious moment, Jacob overturns capital eff Fate. To use a poker analogy, he beat the Royal Straight Flush with the Dead Man's hand.

    This needs explaining - what was the context of the feat (if it's related to the divine duel, then in what way did it act against feasibility?) and what is the effect?
    Here's what I imagine happened that night. Jacob, after sending his many wives and servants across the river, was resting atop a rock. Just before he doze off, God appears in all his flashy glory, ready to start bossing Jacob around. Startled, Jacob shot Him, and the iron arrow strikes true, hitting God in the hips. This is simply something that's not supposed to happen. In days of yore, messengers -especially divine ones- possess the fate of "will not be harmed before the delivery of message".

    I may be wrong, of course, but as I understand most messengers in ancient myths tend to be unharmed atleast until they deliver them- maybe it is the cause of the "Don't shoot the messenger" taboo? Incidentally, I'd say this is what make God afraid of Iron and thus cannot drives off those iron chariots. The effect was that the shots fired will obtain the attribute of "Homing" and seeks target of its own volition. I dropped it from the sheet, through I left the words themselves in as an artifact. Not because I forget to edit it properly, no siree!


    'May be'. And I'm not quite sure what this second sentence is actually meant to say. Is it that he can activate it for himself whenever he wants if there's only a single charge left (but only could bestow it on another once more)?
    Yep. He can activate it whenever he wants for an arbitrary amount of prana, but only as long as he have a single "charge" left.

    Otherwise, yeah, vastly better.
    Thanks!
    Last edited by Aodyssey; May 18th, 2013 at 04:03 PM.

  5. #5685
    Superman, because Superman is famous and firemen do that all the time anyway. How impressive your feats are in comparison to your max potential mean nothing as far as ranking a Heroic Spirit. You can either do it or you can't. In fact, someone with invulnerable skin saving the baby would probably be considered a more likely candidate for Heroic Spirit status because he accomplished the task with something only he had, as opposed to the fireman who has all the equipment that all firemen have.
    Last edited by terraablaze; May 19th, 2013 at 10:25 AM.
    Araya, what do you seek?
    「アラヤ、何を求める」
    ------True wisdom.
    「――――真の叡智を」
    Araya, where do you seek it?
    「アラヤ、何処に求める」
    Only within myself.
    「――――ただ、己が内にのみ」
    Araya, what is your favorite color?
    「アラヤ、好きな色は?」
    Blue. No, ora-- Auuuuuuuugh!
    「青、いや、オレンジイイイイイアアアっ!」

  6. #5686
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One
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    Romulus, Founder of Rome
    Lancer
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral.
    Natural Enemy: Servant Rider.

    STR: B MGI: B
    END: C LCK: A
    AGI: A NP: A+

    Class and Personal Skills:


    Magic Resistance: B
    It grants protection against magical effects. At this level it cancel spells with a chant below three verses. It’s Important to note that the term "verse" refers to a set of three lines. Thus, a chant of two verses is equivalent to a Six-Line incantation. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for him to be affected.

    Instinct: A
    The power to "feel" the most favorable developments for oneself during battle. At this level, Romulus’ refined sixth sense is now close to true precognition. It grants the bonus effect of reducing by half the penalties caused by obstructed vision and hearing.
    According to the legend, the twins were rescued and raised by a she-wolf in the swamp of Velabrum; now, it doesn’t matter how many years a human may spend with wild animals, he will never be able to acquire their keen senses; however, in order to survive in such an hostile environment since early age, their childhood allowed them to overcome such “deficiency” by developing the natural sixth sense that lays dormant in every man. This survival instinct will later be further developed during their early days of brigandage.

    When it came the time to decide where to lay the foundations of the next-to-be Rome, Romulus successfully chose the Palatine Hill, receiving slightly more favorable auguries than his brother from the gods. Romulus was also said to be a successful war leader, able to turn the tides of a battle in a moment.
    This skill of his grants him the ability to choose and successfully defend the place (or person) he chooses to protect.

    Sworn Defender: A

    "Whoever it is, whatever it is, I shall defend it at the cost of my very own blood!"

    The capacity of a Servant to choose a region (or even a person) as his personal “element to be defended”. It increases combat capabilities and skills when fighting in its defense.
    It’s a skill related to Romulus digging the trench around the Palatine to define his city boundary, thus establishing the Pomerium, the sacred boundary of the city of Rome. As established by Romulus it was forbidden to cross its boundaries with arms, and thus when Remus attempted to do so his brother had to strike him dead on the spot, albeit with deep regret.
    In legal terms, Rome existed only within the Pomerium; everything beyond it was simply territory belonging to Rome.
    The Pomerium, the original line ploughed by Romulus around the borders of the original city in 21 April 753 B.C., was not a walled area but rather a legally and religiously defined one marked by cippi (milestones, boundary posts). Its establishment was both a mundane and a symbolical/ritual act, according to the Etruscan tradition. However, it encompassed neither the entire metropolitan area nor even all the proverbial Seven Hills (for example, the Palatine Hill was within the Pomerium, but the Capitoline and Aventine Hills were not). The Curia Hostilia and the well of the Comitium in the Forum Romanum, two extremely important locations in the government of the city-state and its empire, were located within it while the temple of Bellona (goddess of war) was beyond it.

    In Romulus’ case it’s a skill born from an absolute and self-imposed condition, which according to the legend tragically led to the killing of his own brother Remus. It takes its origin in Romulus’ unyelding obstinacy, a fitting skill for a warrior who swore to protect and was protected by the gods.
    Even after his earthly existence, Romulus kept protecting the city and the community he swore to defend as the god Quirinus.

    Divinity: A
    Romulus and his brother Remus were originally demi-gods, sons of Mars and Rhea Silvia. In addition, Romulus became the full-fledged god Quirinus after having completed his temporal mission.

    The name of the mother is also symbolic: the name of Rhea Silvia may suggest a minor deity, a demi-goddess or nymph of forests (interesting detail, since after birth the twins were in fact raised in wilderness). “Silva” means woods or forest, and Rea may be related to “res (gestae)” (meaning “feats”) and “regnum” (meaning “reign”); Rea may also be related to the Greek rheô, "flow", and thus relate to her association with the spirit of the river Tiber (the main watercourse of Rome), or even the Greek goddess Rhea.

    According to the legend, after almost forty years of reign, at the age of fifty-four, Romulus mysteriously disappeared in a storm during an eclypse, while he was inspecting the army at Campus Martius, and thus in a phenomenon that similarly attended his birth (according to Cassius Dio). After the storm passed, the king was nowhere to be seen. Afterwards he appeared in a dream to his old friend Julius Proculus (ancestor of the famous Gens Iulia), foreseeing Rome as the future Capital of the World and claiming to have ascended to heaven among the other deities as the god Quirinus. Romulus’ wife, Hersilia, became a goddess too with the name of Hora Quirini.
    However, from a more realistic point of view, it’s more likely that Romulus was killed by the Senate, weary of a king too much popular, and the legend of apotheosis was a way to calm the people.

    Charisma: B
    The natural talent to command an army. It increases the ability of allies during group battles. A rare talent. At this level, it is suitable for a king of a country.
    Romulus was a successful leader, both in and out of battles: the first set of rules were attributed to him. He divided the population of Rome between those who could fight and those who could not, creating the army of legions with the former group. From the rest of the populace he selects 100 of the most noble and wealthy fathers (Patres) to serve as his council, the Senate, while their descendants were called Patricians. He laid down the first Roman law and the first Roman calendar, settled the religious rituals and also inaugurated a system of government and social hierarchy based on Patronage.
    In order to first populate the newborn city, Romulus established “political asylum”, greeting and accepting exiles, refugees, the dispossessed, criminals and runaway slaves from all over the peninsula; a high rank of Charisma was obviously needed to successful lead such heterogeneous group of people.


    Noble Phantasm:


    Divine Spear Quirinus
    Spear of the Guardian God

    Rank: A+
    Type: Anti-Unit

    The demonic spear that Romulus used to kill his brother Remus in order to defend the sacred boundaries of the Pomerium.

    It takes its name from the god Quirinus, allegedly the deified Romulus himself. Quirinus was originally identified with a Sabine god of war; its name, meaning “wielder of the spear”, derives from curis, the name of the Sabine spears and from Cures Sabini, a settlement about 26 miles from Rome, and, according to the tradition the place from where Titus Tatius led his people (Titus Tatius was the co-ruler of Rome in its earliest days along with Romulus) and also renowned as the birthplace of Ancient Rome's second king Numa Pompilius (the king who established the actual cult of Romulus-as-Quirinus).
    Quirinus may also be a considered as a “oak-god” (since quercus in Latin means “oak”).
    The Sabines erected an altar to this god on the Collis Quirinalis, the Quirinal Hill, one of the Seven Hills of Rome. When the successive Romans settled there, they most likely absorbed the cult of Quirinus into their early belief system.

    He was, in fact, a very important deity in Rome’s first time, one of the fundamental, archaic deities. He constituted a divine triad along with Juppiter and Mars, where each of them was the patron god of a social class: Juppiter for the priests and ministers and Mars for the warriors and soldiers, while Quirinus presided over agriculture and the “third function” beyond religion and war, the productive activities of citizens. According to Maurus Servius Honoratus, Quirinus was the “tranquil Mars”, Mars qui praeest paci, Mars who presides on peace, the Mars who presided over the peaceful activites of free men and the internal borders of the city.
    Furthermore, it should be noted that the Flamen Quirinalis, the flamen devoted to the cult of this god, also presided over agrarian cults (for example, the god Consus). This flamen remained one of the patrician flamines maiores, the "greater flamens" who preceded the Pontifex Maximus in precedence.
    In this sense, from his name derived the terms Quirites (the earliest name of the Roman citizens, protected by this god) and curia (in ancient Rome, the entire populace was divided into thirty curiae, which met in order to confirm the election of magistrates, witness the installation of priests, the making of wills, and adoptions, and later on it will be applied to the meeting places where various assemblies gathered, especially the meeting house of the senate).
    The fact that Quirinus was a protective deity of peace and not a warbringer one is further ensured by the fact that Quirites were strictly civilians, and this name when applied to soldiers almost constituted an insult.

    Quirinus was portrayed as a bearded man with religious and military clothing, wielding a spear, as a deified likeness of the city of Rome and the pax romana, peace resting on victory. His function of guardian is highlighted by the location of his temple inside the Pomerium but not far from the gate of Porta Collina or Quirinalis, near the shrines of the gods Sancus and Salus. As a protector of peace he is nevertheless armed, in the same way as the quirites are, as they are potentially soldiers.

    “Quirinus” was also an epithet of the god Janus, the famous two-faced god who also presided over the beginning and end of conflict, among other things; the Ianus Geminus built by Numa Pompilius was a passage ritually opened at times of war, and shut again when Roman arms rested, probably to symbolize the “peace kept inside”. For this reason Janus, god of gates, is concerned with his function of protector of the civil community. For the same reason the Flamen Portunalis (the flamen “of doors”) oiled the arms of Quirinus, implying that they were to be kept in good order and ready even though they were not to be used immediately.

    As already mentioned, Romulus’ Noble Phantasm is the demonic weapon he used to commit fratricide; however, since Quirinus was also a facet of Janus, god of duality, the spear is still able to retain at the same time its status as holy, divine weapon.

    In another myth, it was said that Romulus once threw a javelin from the Aventine Hill that reached the Palatine Hill (where the king used to reside). This javelin planted in the earth so strongly that nobody could uproot it; it eventually started growing roots, becoming a giant Cornel. This tree was considered sacred, and attended by the population every time it showed signs of decay; nonetheless, it was indirectly destroyed by emperor Caligula.

    The spear acts as a powerful superconductor for Romulus’ Mana, a bundle of magic circuits of superior quality capable to channel all of its wielder’s Prana in an instant, and release it from the tip of the spear as a powerful explosion capable to push back every assault… if not downright killing the lesser tough opponents.
    Just as Romulus was elevated to the rank of a deity, his spear too became a divine weapon, and as such it could be regarded.


    Mh, he turned out to be quite powerful… more than I originally expected. Also, a lucky Lancer? Whoa.
    Anyway, one of the best bodyguard Servants you can get.
    And I hit the four-pages long mark this time too… but now you know everything there’s to know about Quirinus, hooray!
    Last edited by Sherrinford; May 21st, 2013 at 12:13 PM.


  7. #5687
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Demonic and angelic weaponry? What is this, Devil May Cry? *tomato'd*
    Nah, I kid. You're doing really neat profiles, Sherrin, and thus far I'd say they do justice to each Heroic Spirit, too!

    Not sure about the A Rank Luck on a Lancer though...but that's just from the Lancer Class container stats, and Romulus is that famous and founded a serious world power during the Age of Gods (iirc).
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
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  8. #5688
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One
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    Thanks!

    Yup, the A-rank in LCK is indeed caused mostly by him successfully founding the basis for the century-lasting empire of Rome, basically out of renegades and cutthroats.


  9. #5689
    ジュカイン Lycodrake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sherrinford View Post
    ...the century-lasting empire of Rome, basically out of renegades and cutthroats.
    Did this part really change, though? :3
    Quote Originally Posted by Seika View Post
    Yes, excellent. Go, Lyco, my proxy.
    F/GO SUPPORT

  10. #5690
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One
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    Oh you, the Roman army was a well disciplined one! (... I think?)


  11. #5691
    英霊 Heroic Spirit
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    OK, just finished reading the entire thread up to this point, was amazed by all the well made servants and am now preparing to post a few of my own.

    Before I started I wanted to make sure I had all the rules (formal or otherwise) properly in mind so I made a list (so as to lessen my inevitable suffering) please let me know if you would suggest any changes.

    RULES OF SERVANT MAKING

    1. Gil's Law- No servant may be better than the KING, he has very few equals, and no betters.

    2. Zelretch's Law- Due to the existence of infinite parallel worlds and only one throne of heroes, any and all beings (Fictional or otherwise) that are conceivable (and in some cases those that aren't) as heroes must be considered to have at least one version of themselves in the throne. (With some variation from our version due to some difference that allowed said person to become a hero).

    3. Perseus Limit- No Servant can have more than five noble phantasms.

    4. Skill limit- No servant can exceed six personal skills.

    5. EX rule- To qualify as EX rank means that comparisons are meaningless, either by having a numerical value exceeding two hundred or by being alien to the point of being utterly unquantifiable.
    Quote Originally Posted by Siriel View Post
    "Gilgamesh is always right, even when he's wrong."

  12. #5692
    Greatness, at any cost mAc Chaos's Avatar
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    The skill limit has more to do with Hercules, if your Servant is as maxed out as him then he better be on his level.
    He never sleeps. He never dies.

    Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.

  13. #5693
    Never quacked for this Kyte's Avatar
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    Those rules sound about right.

  14. #5694
    Sword of Chaos Knight of Khaos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emiya Kurou View Post
    OK, just finished reading the entire thread up to this point, was amazed by all the well made servants and am now preparing to post a few of my own.

    Before I started I wanted to make sure I had all the rules (formal or otherwise) properly in mind so I made a list (so as to lessen my inevitable suffering) please let me know if you would suggest any changes.

    RULES OF SERVANT MAKING

    1. Gil's Law- No servant may be better than the KING, he has very few equals, and no betters.

    2. Zelretch's Law- Due to the existence of infinite parallel worlds and only one throne of heroes, any and all beings (Fictional or otherwise) that are conceivable (and in some cases those that aren't) as heroes must be considered to have at least one version of themselves in the throne. (With some variation from our version due to some difference that allowed said person to become a hero).

    3. Perseus Limit- No Servant can have more than five noble phantasms.

    4. Skill limit- No servant can exceed six personal skills.

    5. EX rule- To qualify as EX rank means that comparisons are meaningless, either by having a numerical value exceeding two hundred or by being alien to the point of being utterly unquantifiable.
    An informal rule I tend to follow from time to time is the Law of Genderbending.
    Quote Originally Posted by Detective Blackstone View Post
    Just embrace the trolling and enjoy it like a fine croissant.

  15. #5695
    英霊 Heroic Spirit
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    Quote Originally Posted by KhaosSaber View Post
    An informal rule I tend to follow from time to time is the Law of Genderbending.
    Please detail this law, if it makes sense i'll add it to the list.
    Quote Originally Posted by Siriel View Post
    "Gilgamesh is always right, even when he's wrong."

  16. #5696
    分かろうとするな、感じれ Mcjon01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emiya Kurou View Post
    Please detail this law, if it makes sense i'll add it to the list.
    Law of Genderbending: Don't.

  17. #5697
    英霊 Heroic Spirit
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    If you can't give a good reason why not, I can't add it to the list.

    I see no problem with a gender bend if properly done, meaning with the reason behind he/she hiding their gender is explained in their history, or by having them be so awesome the reason doesn't matter like with Nero, and it has to be convincing and match the character.

    Any more suggestions?
    Last edited by Emiya Kurou; May 23rd, 2013 at 04:07 PM. Reason: error
    Quote Originally Posted by Siriel View Post
    "Gilgamesh is always right, even when he's wrong."

  18. #5698
    Never quacked for this Kyte's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mcjon01 View Post
    Law of Genderbending: Don't.
    Unless you work for Type-Moon.

  19. #5699
    分かろうとするな、感じれ Mcjon01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emiya Kurou View Post
    If you can't give a good reason why not, I can't add it to the list.
    See, now you're asking for a Theory of Genderbending. Stop moving the goalposts.

  20. #5700
    Because it's overdone, and usually stupid.

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