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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #4721
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by venomking View Post
    I'll admit I have no justification for his being a savior, it's the only class I felt that he didn't loos anything in. But he still has gods hand precesly becuase his represents his twelve labours, my idea is that he looses nothing under this class, and my aurgument I was ganan make was that he was only under that class in name, and is only expected under it for kindest towards others or something like that's. And the reason he summons the beats is becuase he ether killed or captured those beats, and I couldn't make a sensible abilty without him being able to summon those beasts.

    - - - Updated - - -

    If there is any other class more fitting for my idea I will replace it. But I felt that creating a whole new class would be like breaking some unspoken rule, cause if not I was gana creat true servant class. We're that servant has all the phanatasm said they would posses under each of the seven classes. But the exchange being they have no class skills, so they wouldn't have presence concealment, tertiary creation, presence detection, mana resistance, Praha burst, and independent action, and mad enhancement.
    The whole point of Servants is that they don't have every possible aspect of their legend. If you disregard that, you're not making Servants at all but something else entirely.

    Also, there already is a version of Heracles in canon with all seven of his labors. Alceides. And guess what? He doesn't have God Hand for that exact reason.

  2. #4722
    夜属 Nightkin
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    Quote Originally Posted by venomking View Post
    Stuff
    "I want to give my servant ALL the THINGS!" is not a reason to shoehorn a character into a class he has no qualifications for. Especially if that class isn't about giving "ALL the Things!" but something a little more meaningful.

    That's not a reason to design a Servant period.

    If you have to say "...oh he was just summoned under the class in name only" unless you're making joke characters like Santa Alter or Surfer Mordred then something has gone terribly wrong right from the start.

    At that time perhaps you should exercise a bit of restraint and just stop? Or actually go all the way and make something that's truly silly and worth a laugh or two?
    Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; February 26th, 2017 at 05:05 PM.

  3. #4723
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    A good joke servant is something like Angra Mainyu dual-servant double-summon Saver/Avenger, where Angra Mainyu meets a cute loli version of himself that existed because people wanted a representation of all the good in the world. Together, they argue about everything, and Avenger tries to be edgy, while Saver is uber!QT3.14.

  4. #4724
    夜属 Nightkin
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    Exactly like that...

    But what we have here instead is a pitiful thing just sort of lying there that we might poke at awkwardly with a stick or look away and pretend not to see but we know in our heart of hearts we did see it and that makes us feel bad.
    Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; February 26th, 2017 at 04:43 PM.

  5. #4725
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theoneandonlyz View Post
    Exactly like that...

    But what we have here instead is just sort of a thing lying there that we might poke at awkwardly with a stick or look away and pretend not to see but we know in our heart of hearts we did see it and that makes us feel bad.
    Kinda like..... how Bazett got killed off so goddamn early and never actually contributed to the Fate routes at all except in goddamn Hollow Ataraxia?

    *grumbles about Bazett deserving better*

    *grumbles about Bazett route*

  6. #4726
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhatShouldNotBe View Post
    A good joke servant is something like Angra Mainyu dual-servant double-summon Saver/Avenger, where Angra Mainyu meets a cute loli version of himself that existed because people wanted a representation of all the good in the world. Together, they argue about everything, and Avenger tries to be edgy, while Saver is uber!QT3.14.
    Hmm. That brings to mind... what if Angra Mainyu met my loli!Jesus?

  7. #4727
    夜属 Nightkin Hakuro's Avatar
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    Some of these Heracles NP already exists or have defined effects (like the girdle and the Nemean Lion clothing), while Nine Lives already reflects the killing of Hydra.


    The Beast Galore doesn't make much sense. Many of these beasts were just killed by Heracles, summoning and controlling them feels weird. I could see some of them (not all of them) being able to be used by a Rider-class Heracles, like Cerberus, because he didn't killed it, just tamed it.


    Also, summoning Gerion to fight sounds very weird. And the mares of Diomedes tries to kill and eat any human they see, I don't think Heracles can just ride them and expect to control them with some dead bodies.


    -------------


    And Zh1212 just now I saw your message, gonna answer it.

  8. #4728
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hakuro View Post
    Also, summoning Gerion to fight sounds very weird. And the mares of Diomedes tries to kill and eat any human they see, I don't think Heracles can just ride them and expect to control them with some dead bodies.
    Some say the Mares were actually tamed after being fed the flesh of their owner. Alexander's steed Bucephalus was even said to be descended from them in some legends. So that's one part of the sheet that does make some sense, though summoning Geryon is still weird as heck. Why would he be fighting for the guy who killed him and stole his cattle?

  9. #4729
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Some say the Mares were actually tamed after being fed the flesh of their owner. Alexander's steed Bucephalus was even said to be descended from them in some legends. So that's one part of the sheet that does make some sense, though summoning Geryon is still weird as heck. Why would he be fighting for the guy who killed him and stole his cattle?
    If you take that particular legend, one way of handling this particular NP could be giving Herc the power to subvert control of other servants' mounts and familiars in some way.

    With Geryon's Cattle a lot of things happened on that particular quest. Herc split a mountain in two (or simply pulled up 2 whole mountains depending on who you read) to form the Pillars of Heracles and the Strait of Gibraltar, sailed to "the end of the world" on a goblet he basically mugged from Helios, and then spent gods knows how long trying to drive said cattle (which were right up there with Apollo's cattle in terms of value) back to Eurystheus and fighting people left and right as he goes, only to have that asshat sacrifice them to Hera right afterwards. Really the whole deal with Geryon and Orthus was almost an afterthought.

    Any of those feats are NP worthy. Treating the 12 Labors as a simple list of stuff Herc killed and looted is really, really unimaginative and frankly lazy.
    Last edited by Theoneandonlyz; February 26th, 2017 at 08:31 PM.

  10. #4730
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    By the way, with credits to Hakuro for the idea, I've added an additional NP for Ulrich Von Lietchtenstein. It's very... interesting.

    Check it out if you're interested.

    Link to Servant Profile: http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread...=1#post2613662
    Last edited by SleepMode; February 26th, 2017 at 08:20 PM.

  11. #4731
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    By the way, with credits to Hakuro for the idea, I've added an additional NP for Ulrich Von Lietchtenstein. It's very... interesting.

    Check it out if you're interested.

    Link to Servant Profile: http://forums.nrvnqsr.com/showthread...=1#post2613662
    That's pretty cool. Definitely sounds like it could for some entertaining moments of mistaken identity if he were summoned alongside Arturia in a Grail War.

  12. #4732
    Bad News LeadDemon's Avatar
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    Arachne, Eternal Weaver



    Class: Caster
    Master:
    Alignment: Neutral Good
    Gender: Female
    Height: 160 cm
    Weight: 50 kg
    Attribute: Earth

    STR: E
    CON: E
    AGI: C
    MGI: B+
    LCK: D
    Noble Phantasm: A

    Legend:

    The core part of Arachne's legend is well-known, so this will be kept brief. To be specific, this is the Arachne of the Metamorphoses. A human weaver whose craft surpassed even the gods. In her arrogance, she challenged the goddess Athena to competition, and managed to best her, but consequently enraged Athena with her impudence. In the aftermath of this competition, Arachne committed suicide, only to be transformed into the first spider through the poisonous herb of Hecate.

    As an aside, this particular creation is largely the result of a certain reference in Fate/Apocrypha.

    Tactics:

    On paper, an excellent Servant that requires a bit of work to use properly. As with most Casters, Arachne is best suited for setting up in a particular area, creating her territory, and from there preparing for eventual conflict through strengthening her domain and designing magical items. The utility of her first Noble Phantasm, while not useful in all situations, is also a valuable card to play.

    When push comes to shove, though, it is possible to turn her from a half-hearted support Servant into a brutal combat monster. When utilized in conjunction with her second Noble Phantasm and a tactical mind, defeating even first-class Servants could be a distinct possibility.

    Of course, that second part of the story is something that shouldn’t be tapped into in the first place. Only the most cold-hearted and victory-obsessed of Masters would seek to walk down that road, and even those who do should understand what doing so means. If you have the strength of will to do so and the tact to avoid the bad end that awaits you, though, then perhaps Arachne the monster will serve you better than Arachne the human ever could.

    As a human, Arachne herself is a fairly straightforward individual, albeit one who works poorly with figures of authority. Prideful in her craft but generally considerate of others, she can be called a partner easy to get along with so long as she is viewed as a partner and not as a subordinate; in those cases, one should expect the same acerbic nature that angered Athena. Praise her when she’s worked hard, but don’t let her ego be overinflated. Don’t focus on combat and victory so much that you neglect the beauty of the world around you. Face forwards with a smile and let her stand beside you. In that sense, a certain boy from the mountains would probably have an excellent dynamic with her.

    Indeed, it is better to simply treat her as a human like any other. Combat potential is nil, magecraft ability is mediocre, but possessing a Noble Phantasm that the Master can utilize, first-rate Territory Creation, and the ability to make Mystic Codes on par with Noble Phantasms, if the Master is willing to work alongside her all the way, they will have a steadfast and caring ally.

    Class Skills:

    Tool Creation: C+++

    The capability to create items containing magical energy.

    On the general view, Arachne’s capacity in this is middling at best. While common items can be created, their quality is mediocre and scarcely deserving of the Caster class. However, this is overturned when creating that which is “woven”; in this field, whether past, present, or future, she cannot be matched by another. In terms of creations such as cloths and shrouds, it is possible to make Mystic Codes on par with a Servant’s Noble Phantasm.

    Territory Creation: B+

    The skill to build a special terrain that is advantageous to oneself as a magus.

    In truth, Arachne’s own magecraft skill is merely enough for the creation of a Workshop. However, when used in conjunction with the personal skill Seamstress to reserve the leylines of an area, the creation of a “Web”, superior to a Workshop, is possible.

    Personal Skills:

    Seamstress: A

    The talent of a weaver, a capacity that bases itself around strings. It is the ability to see, create, and affect strings; in other words, one could consider it analogous to a hybrid between Mystic Eyes and Pure Eyes.

    At Arachne’s level, it is possible to see the connections between any two things, whether this be the physical thread that holds a dress together or the magical thread that connects a Master to a Servant. Moreover, it is possible to interfere with these strings as desired, as well as create new ones.

    A first-rate ability which acquires surprising utility within the context of a Holy Grail War. All the same, though, it is a talent ill-suited to the heat of fast-paced combat.

    Monstrous Strength: EX

    The increase of the STR parameter for a time denoted by the rank of the skill, in exchange for the acquisition of monstrous traits. In this case, the skill is nonstandard as the transformation is permanent, and there is no gradual mode of change into the monstrous form. Once used, Arachne becomes the monster in full, and her status as a hero drops to the bare minimum.

    Arachne is none other than the “first spider”, capable of giving rise to swarms of her kin. Due to this status and age, her monstrous form has acquired strength and mystery that is first-rate among Magical Beasts. Thanks to this nature, though, she is capable of retaining human reason in this form, instead of simply becoming a mindless animal. Moreover, due to possessing this status, all spiders which exist are merely her children, and thus are subject to her dominion. It is not mental interference, but rather the awakening of an instinct primal to them as spiders to serve their mother.

    However, Arachne will quite simply not utilize this ability of her own will. It can thus be considered sealed unless a Command Seal is used. Once activated, her mentality is twisted along with her body, her human empathy replaced with a bestial drive. Alignment additionally is altered to Neutral Evil at this time. From being a doting, if hubristic, housewife, she becomes an obsessive monster whose emotions are amplified beyond compare. Annoyance becomes hatred, anger becomes killing intent, love…

    ...well, let’s leave that matter aside.

    High Speed Divine Words: D

    The talent to activate magecraft through speaking in the tongue of the Age of Gods.

    At this rank, High Thaumaturgy-level magecraft can be cast at the speed of Five-Counts. A decidedly weak capability by the standards of her era as Arachne was never a true magus so much as one who merely created magical things. Her efficacy as a standard Caster can only be called pitiful.

    This skill is sealed with the activation of Monstrous Strength.

    Noble Phantasms:

    Undoing of Inner Monstrosity
    Cloth of Purification

    Rank: -
    Type: Anti-Impurity
    Range: 1
    Maximum Number of Targets: 1

    The peak of Arachne’s craft and the crystallization of her as a weaver. As an aside, this Noble Phantasm possesses an analogue of itself in the modern day; whether the two are truly one and the same, though, is up for debate.

    Put simply, it is a passive-type Noble Phantasm of purification. Pain, disease, poison, mental interference, and so on are washed away by its touch. Moreover, so long as it is worn, any such impurities will not be permitted to take root in the first place. It can be considered something that stands on equal footing with the legendary Aqua Vitae, but it is worth noting that it will not do such things as heal damage.

    As a seamstress does not make cloth simply to be worn by herself, this can additionally be utilized by beings besides Arachne, for instance her Master, if permissions are acquired.

    This is Arachne’s craft, her pride, and her joy. The touch of the fabric, the way the light dances across its threads, the transcendent beauty given form by mere human hands. It would hardly be an exaggeration to call this Noble Phantasm “Arachne herself”.

    Creation of Newborn Monstrosity
    Herb of Hecate

    Rank: A
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Range: 1
    Maximum Number of Targets: 1

    If Arachne’s cloth is the story of her life as a weaver, this is the story of her fall into a monster.

    A jar which contains herbs. The jar possesses no special properties, but the herbs are creations of the goddess Hecate. While similar in atmosphere to a curse, in truth the effect that they realize is more akin to poison than magecraft; thus, in order to stave off the effects, poison resistance at a rank superior to the Noble Phantasm is required; this can vary depending on the dosage, though.

    Upon contact with oneself, the herb transforms one into a newly-born Monstrous Beast-class spider. This obviously does not apply if the being is “already a spider”. Both one’s mentality and abilities are twisted into those suitable for a spider. In other words, they are forced to join the ranks of spiders and begin anew. A profane trump card against which death is often preferable.

    However, it is not without its costs. As this Noble Phantasm is itself the recreation of Arachne’s fall, she cannot wield the tool of her own demise without paying an appropriate price. In order to materialize this Noble Phantasm, the transformation of Monstrous Strength must be activated. It thus goes without saying that, as with the skill itself, this Noble Phantasm should be considered sealed. While in some cases this portion of the legend was seen as a gift so that Arachne could weave for all her life, to Arachne after becoming a Heroic Spirit it is everything she despises about herself and her story. It is something she has come to view as the ruination of her life and simultaneously the heart of her legend. It is a pain that she wouldn’t wish even on the goddess who cast it upon her, thinking it a gift. It is a horror that she would rather die than release upon the world.

    ...this, of course, only holds while she is Arachne the human.

  13. #4733
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Arachne: Having written up a take on her myself (as one of my very first Servants, actually) I have to say this is pretty well-done. The Seamstress Skill and specialized Item Construction definitely remind me of the approach I went for my own Arachne sheet, though those are pretty natural common grounds for a legendary figure entirely based around weaving. We went for rather different takes on her personality; with yours being a somewhat heroic figure (until Monstrous Strength activates, anyway) whereas I had her as a tragic villainess.

    Her second NP being the herbs that turned her into a spider rather then simply the transformation itself (which you instead folded under Monstrous Strength) is also a creative touch. Regarding the cloth ... since you noted it negates poisons amongst other "impurities", would that apply to the effects of her second NP as well?

  14. #4734
    Bad News LeadDemon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    since you noted it negates poisons amongst other "impurities", would that apply to the effects of her second NP as well?
    That was part of the intent, yeah. Partly a way of safeguarding the Master from getting spider'd should they decide to go down that route (among other things), though obviously it'd be pretty useless in keeping Arachne from transforming. There's also a bit of poetry there thematically, which is nice.

  15. #4735
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeadDemon View Post
    That was part of the intent, yeah. Partly a way of safeguarding the Master from getting spider'd should they decide to go down that route (among other things), though obviously it'd be pretty useless in keeping Arachne from transforming. There's also a bit of poetry there thematically, which is nice.
    So it's as I'd assumed then. And I think compared to my version, your take is a little more like an "Arachne Lily" (with her NP shifting her closer to her evil self).

  16. #4736
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Hmm. That brings to mind... what if Angra Mainyu met my loli!Jesus?
    Shipping. Or murder.

  17. #4737
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhatShouldNotBe View Post
    Shipping. Or murder.
    It's a 50/50.

  18. #4738
    Totally not Eldritch WhatShouldNotBe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zh1212 View Post
    It's a 50/50.
    Possibly both, depending on whether she resurrects herself.

  19. #4739
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Another one of my questions, I'm currently stuck on making a Berserker!Ashoka, and while I'm not worried about the Parameters (OP Indian Servants ftw) I'm confused on what ranking of Mad Enhancement he should have....

    If anyone have an answer, please reply.

    (On one hand, I can make it EX and have him able to communicate calmly, but he will solve solutions with "murdermurdermurder" or A+ and have him be a serene but an unable-to-talk meat grinder...)
    Last edited by SleepMode; February 26th, 2017 at 10:59 PM.

  20. #4740
    So Many Ideas, So Little Time SleepMode's Avatar
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    Also, would he be of the Sky Attribute or Star?

    Sorry about and additional reply, I accidentally clicked the reply button!
    Last edited by SleepMode; February 26th, 2017 at 11:18 PM.

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