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Thread: Create-A-Servant 2

  1. #11761
    E-Rank Bronzefag MehKitteh's Avatar
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    *cries in bad sheets*

    Execute C:\local\lib\toh.exe?
    ---
    Dreams of swallow cuts.
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    summs up a lot of my ironic weeaboo circles
    Quote Originally Posted by Dullahan View Post
    people who have waifus are necessarily mentally ill


  2. #11762
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NMR-3 View Post
    Wait, why remove them from the global list? It's more of a bitch to navigate that way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Historia View Post
    Otherwise it'll become larger than it has any need to be. It's already bothersome to look at.
    .

  3. #11763
    Quote Originally Posted by Historia View Post
    .
    That's not a good reason. CTRL+F is what the OP is there for.

  4. #11764
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Historia View Post
    .
    A large but complete list is much better than posting inividual author lists. If I want to find out if someone already did Rider Napoleon it's much better to just ctrl+F his name than to look at each individual's personal list.

  5. #11765
    Quote Originally Posted by Kabalisto Koga View Post
    After i made the mistake to follow a spontan idea, i hope that with this profile i make it atleast some better. A Little note in Advance: i gave him the Herakless Treatment as Bereserker and i am searching also for a Bow/arrow Noble Phantasm as Archer and a Sword technique,(thanks to King of Padoru i have already a Rider mount for him *cough*thanks) which Fitting him and his Wind"Storm thematic.and that nobody says again i dont make Researchs i found out that he was a equally talented archer like he was in his Gada usage.also it it could be a bit incomplete at the Moment.

    Bhima


    Berserker
    Height: 260 cm
    Weight: 280
    kg
    Alignment:
    Lawful Good
    Attribute:
    Earth
    Origin: India
    Weapon: Gada,Sword
    Alternative classes: Saber, Rider, Archer
    Likes:
    rich meals,his Family,Elephants.
    Dislikes: Snakes

    Talents: Wrestling

    Natural Rival: Thor(?)

    Parameters
    Strength: A+
    Endurance: A+

    Agility: C

    Luck: C+

    Mana:
    A
    NP:
    A+


    Background
    He was the second Pandava ,the litle brother and the elder brother of Arjuna,Sahadeva and Nakula.


    Personality
    He is a quite Rough and to violence tending Man especially against Enemies of his Family .He likes to make jokes and pranks but can be in the same second as before Serious and stoic if the Moment call for it.He is actually a Deep caring Man towards his Family ,Friends and in the Case he likes him also his Master like when he should have a similar case like Illya or Waver then he would be unregaded the Class a example of a Big brother but should he dislike his Master he wouldnt has real Problems to crush him.but a certain redhaired Young shonen would he like somehow in more then one reason.


    Skills
    Class skills:
    Mad Enhancement:C
    It raises the stats and physical strenght by sa crifice of sanity and logic/skill capability based techniques/Nobelphantasm.
    He has due to being already in live a bit mad a middle Rank in it ,means he can hold a meaningfull conversation and react reasonable but is strongly influenced by his Emotions.

    Personal skills:
    Divinity:B He is the Son of Vayu the Deity of Life and Wind(sorry i dont find a other description for Divinity)
    Robust Health:EX Due to the Poison and venoms he endured in life and his Blessing of Vatsuki he gained his strenght and toxical Resilienz.
    gives him a plus modifier when poisoned or drowned in strenght and Endurance aswell a Poison resistence at Rank A but it makes him also resistence against nourishment so he Need (great) amounts of Food and drinkings to satiate his hunger
    Bravery: D (B+) He faced dozens of Monters and wars but displayed never cowardice ,his Braveness is through his stubborness(?) even present as Berserker.
    Mana Burst (Wind) B~:He has as Son of the Wind deity vayu a strong Wind based Mana Burst normaly he would have rank Ex but it is degraded and distorted/destabilized due to his Mad Enhancement so hehe is degraded in his Rank but especially in when he falls into raging can be unleashed a higher Rankmlike Mana Blast.


    Noble Phantasm
    Gada-Astra

    Vrigodharam

    Type: Anti-Unit ~Anti-Fortress
    Rank: A+ (EX)
    Range: 1~99
    Maximum number of targets:
    1000
    Description:
    It is the Weapon in which usage Bhima has reached perfection.

    Bhima is able to use his Wind-burts in connection with the trusts of the Mace ,upon calling its true Name are the ciphres glowing and they become permeable ,they release golden Tempests who are strong enough to repell even the strongest flame, after wave the Gada in the direction of his Opponent the form of the Tempest becomes the of a Giant wolf and they starting from the tail are flows the divine Energy into the fangs and foreclaws (visibly through the colorchanges into Grey) so that the claws are the only Gold colored remains and the fang ignite into Lightning .The wolf is fast enough that he could overrun a Rider-chariot.Upon the Moment the Target reach the area of the fangs are they piercing him and then are coiling the gales and lightnings around the target and literally "devours" the target by shreeding him to dust


    Rider and Archer Nobelphantasm (in working)
    I think you don't need to hear what people said about your servant, go create whatever's you want to create. If people saying your servant is op so be it, if they said it didn't make sanse then just said is okita soji and jack the reaper making sense?. You create servant based how you interpreting the legend, you crete servant by adding your own imagination in it, no way one person imagination and interpretations can always similar to everyone else. You in here because you want to write your imagination so who care about someone else said. If you want to make your servant op then make ut op. If you want to make different from it's legend by adding something then make it different. Good sevant sheet and you should stop listen to what people said, jist post and leave, let them talk whatever's they want.

  6. #11766
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    I mean sure he's free to do whatever he wants, we all make sheets for fun here after all, but this is a forum, we post sheets here to generate discussion and read criticism. Obviously if you post a sheet that goes against what's generally perceived as good or reasonable in the franchise then it's probably going to gather criticism against it. Koga is not obligated to listen to anyone, but it's inevitable that when he wants to participate in a community and even asks for people's opinion, that those who interact with him will be frustrated when he doesn't seem to care or listen to any of it.

    Now this post isn't meant to attack Koga or anything, I haven't even read the sheet and others said he got better at it, but if your advice to someone is to post and look away then they might as well not post at all. And writing sheets alone for themselves doesn't seem like something Koga, or anyone here, wants to do.

    Also it's interesting to me that you picked two very weak Servants as your examples, but that's besides the point.

  7. #11767
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Posting a sheet in a community and asking the members for advise just to ignore them because "lol i do what i want" makes you look like an a-hole. As pinetree has said, you don't have to listen to the 100% of the criticism, but you could at least pretend to care about what someone says. Otherwise, it'd be practically the same as writing the sheet on a paper and hanging it on a lightpost at the street so you can say "look at what ive done".

  8. #11768
    Dead Apostle Eater Historia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leftovers View Post
    That's not a good reason. CTRL+F is what the OP is there for.
    Eh. Seemed like a better idea at the time.

    Easily reverted.

  9. #11769
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    I have some sheets that are missing from the main index

    Neoptolemus
    Sebastian
    Orestes
    Okuni
    Cassiopeia
    Jack Sheppard
    Olympias
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  10. #11770
    Create History with the light even God doesn't know Der Ritter's Avatar
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    I'll be honest, finding the faceclaim was surprisingly hard to do. I guess people just don't like mixing their flavors of Saber.

    Faceclaim



    Class: Caster
    True Name: Artoria Pendragon Lily Alter
    Title: Lily of Dragons
    Alignment: Lawful Evil
    Source: Arthurian Mythos
    Region: Britain
    Attribute: Earth

    Parameters

    Strength: D
    Endurance: D
    Agility: B
    Mana: A+
    Luck: A

    Skills

    Class Skills

    Territory Creation: C
    The skill to build a specialized space that is advantageous to oneself as a magus, such as for collecting mana. She's fine with making a “stable” for attracting animals.

    Item Construction: E
    The skill to create useful items with raw components. Caster only has enough skill to make minor healing potions.

    Personal Skill

    High Speed Incantation: C
    She has otherwise great pronunciation, but often messes up and saying the wrong word by accident.

    Teachings of Morgana: B
    The magical skills she obtained from the tutelage of her elder sister, the Queen of Evil Fairies, Morgan le Fay. Some of the abilities she learned include the invocation of nature spirits, and how to bind magical creatures to her will. She has a bit of issue with remembering the right spell though, so she occasionally does things like making a bolt of lightning when she was trying to heal an ally.

    Mana Burst (Dragon): A
    A bit of a strange variation of the Mana Burst Skill possessed by other Heroic Spirits. The natural version and the various elemental variants are based on releasing magical energy in large, steady amounts, increasing the fighting power of the user's body and weapons. Rather in this case, it's increasing the effect of thaumaturgic rituals by pushing large amounts of energy into them. A simple fireball could become a massive firestorm. A gust of wind can turn into a tempest.

    As she's been trained in Magecraft by her sister, she's also learned to tap somewhat into the Red Dragon element in her, allowing her to make her spells carry an effect similar to Dragon’s Breath. Of course, this Skill will also activate on accident if she messes up the incantation, so it's in your best interest to not have her act as the party's White Mage.

    Noble Phantasm

    Noble Phantasm

    Caliburn Morgan: Shadow Scepter of Victory
    Rank: B
    Anti-Unit (Self)

    The famous Sword in the Stone from the tales of King Arthur, a ‘Sword of Selection’ who chooses a person worthy enough to become the next king. It could only be used by someone who would be honorable and chivalrous, or else it'd lose its splendor and break.

    However this one is already broken. It's golden light which sears anything has been snuffed out, and the blade is cracked in several places. The reason why this already happened upon her summoning is a bit personal to her, but regardless it's no longer a holy sword fit for the 'Ideal King.’ Even if it were reforged, the history behind it would be lost forever. It would no longer be the sword of Uther given to his rightful heir, it would just be an enchanted blade.

    Of course, a good sister has foresight enough to help fix their siblings mistakes and replace their broken toys. Morgan refashioned the shattered sword into a makeshift scepter, keeping the pieces held in their scabbard so that it can still function as a conduit for Artoria's magic energy. As it is, though, it's not really something that should be a Noble Phantasm. The actual reason for this Mystery is that if she were to risk it, Artoria could still unleash a golden blast on par with the Sword of Promised Victory with it.

    Rather than a burning slash of light, or a piercing white-hot shot, the effect is more like a massive blast of energy focused around the opponent, surrounding and incinerating them. But like her Saber counterpart, this act is more power than even a magic sword like Caliburn can handle, and so it will melt from the strain and heat. For this reason, one can also classify this as a Broken Phantasm.

    Lore

    History:
    A one in a million existence. An extreme “If” possibility buried within several other “If” possibilities.

    In the proper history of most realities, it is observed that Arthur Pendragon was sent to be raised by the knight Sir Ector, cared for and trained alongside Ector’s own son, Sir Kay. From this, they would learn the skills and way of a knight, forging the first steps to the legend of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table.

    This is not that story.

    Rather than be sent away to be raised by Sir Ector, the young Artoria had instead been plucked away and raised by her elder sister, Uther Pendragon’s eldest daughter Morgana, who would eventually become known as the Queen of Evil Fairies, Morgan le Fay. The witch perhaps for a brief moment saw the kind of future the two of them would have, and resolved to spare Artoria that cruelty she felt.

    “If the world cursed me and called me a demon I would care not, for surely the world is right to do so. But if it spat on her, and called her a soulless dragon with no capacity to understand men's hearts, I'd scream back at it, for certainly it is wrong.” Perhaps that was how she felt then.

    The two hid themselves in the realm of Avalon, the land of fairies, perhaps to wait out the troubles of the World, to wait for when the White Dragon finished his rampage and slumbered. Yet fate would still find them, and Artoria was given the same test that would occur on many a parallel world: pull the sword Caliburn from its resting place, marking her the rightful king of Britain and her people. Or to simply sit and watch as they burned before the dragon. She accepted, as she always would, though the reason was perhaps a bit different than others.

    “I saw me and my sister smiling. It can't be a mistake.”

    She pulled the sword out, as she always would, and it acknowledged her as the rightful king, as it always will. Yet the sword only shined its golden light for mere moments before shattering almost instantly. The chosen king she was, but a proper knight she was not. No shining knight would willingly side with an evil witch, let alone the Queen of Evil Fairies.

    Perhaps it was for the best. A dragon witch can't be seen with a holy sword in hand after all.

    Personality:
    She's a sheltered child, innocent to the ways of the world, only knowing the peace of Avalon for most of her life. She loves to learn about new things from the outside world, and loves trying to use it to make new ways to get her sister’s praise. For the most part she is still similar to the other Lily, and has a need to help every person in need she comes across.

    As her magic directly draws on her innate dragon element, it has gotten her to be somewhat temperamental, and may be a bit possessive of things close to her. She also has a bad habit with eating lots of junk food. Please give her a proper meal instead.

    She still has no talent dancing with men.

    Wish for the Holy Grail:
    If she had it, she'd probably just use it to help more people with her magic. A simple desire for a simple girl.

    Relationships:
    Arthur/Artoria Pendragon:
    “‘The King of Knights?” Yes, I suppose that's one thing I can't be now. But it's fine, right? There's already so many of “myself” who are knights, so one of me who is a witch is fine!”

    Saber Lily:
    “So that's what Caliburn looks like if it had not broken? Seeing it makes me feel… sad. As if it's a beautiful flower waiting to die. But “myself” and I both know-”
    “Yes. Taking this sword, seeing those smiling faces, it was certainly not a mistake.”

    Knights of the Round Table:
    “I vaguely know some of them, but there's a haze around the memories. Perhaps that's for the best. They are not my knights, or maybe never would have, so trying to compare would be unfair to them and “themselves.””

    Merlin:
    “My sister dislikes him, but he's a very funny person to be around. Sometimes he helps me with my spells, but he gets a bit carried away and bites his tongue when he starts talking too fast.”

    Jeanne D’Arc Alter Santa Lily:
    “Too much. She's trying way too much. Everyone knows I'm the ultimate evil little sister, so there's no need for a copycat who only shows up once a winter!”

    Likes: Tending to animals, listening to big sister
    Dislikes: Dancing
    Talents: Explosions!
    Natural Enemy: Jeanne D’Arc Alter Santa Lily

  11. #11771
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    Cute as heck, but only having one Broken Phantasm as the NP seems like a waste. Also, missed oportunity to include Medea fangirling even more than usual in the relations.

  12. #11772
    Create History with the light even God doesn't know Der Ritter's Avatar
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    I'm not cruel, Medea doesn't deserve such a horrific death. I mean, I'm not Urobuchi after all.

  13. #11773
    夜属 Nightkin CritHit's Avatar
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    "Class: Caster
    True Name: Arturia Pendragon Lily Alter"

    Truly God has forsaken us.

  14. #11774
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    What do you mean? This is a gift from God himself.

  15. #11775
    wwwww Spartacus's Avatar
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    Your Morgan sounds very cute.

  16. #11776
    夜属 Nightkin CritHit's Avatar
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    Lily and Alter servants are, imo, the two worst things to happen to the Fate series. Saber Alter used to be the Only exception, but then they made her an actual character and ruined it

  17. #11777
    闇色の六王権 The Dark Six pinetree's Avatar
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    I'm not too thrilled by them either but worst thing to happen to the series is a but much.

  18. #11778
    Trace: Overcringe King of Padoru's Avatar
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    I'm fine with Alters. The problem is when you turn the angry saint into a tsundere that tries too hard to be edgy and the dark goddess of Rhongomyniad into "I'm hungry. Don't stare at my cowtits"

  19. #11779
    夜属 Nightkin CritHit's Avatar
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    Meh, I'm hard pressed to find anything I hate more.
    -Creating scantily clad lolis: Cool
    -Going more Sci-fi: Awesome
    -Focusing more on Waifu-bait: Sad, but understandable
    -Making more "Main Stream" style stories (4koma comics and the like): Hilarious
    -Slapping Alter/Lily/Santa/Summer Version onto everything: FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

  20. #11780
    Create History with the light even God doesn't know Der Ritter's Avatar
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    - - - Updated - - -

    So what you're saying is we need to make a Summer Jeanne D'Arc Alter Santa Lily. :P

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