MoonCancer Kepler: I think the sheet needed more time for you to flesh it out. I have some idea of what the three laws probably entail, but you dedicate very little time to fleshing out a concept that seems essential to explain his absurd Noble Phantasm. The justification for his class is also a bit convoluted. I don't get how the Mystic Eyes came to be since you don't really delve into what Brahe's magecraft is and I don't see how observing the MoonCell allowed him to download stuff, or how it killed him, or how all of that translates into him being a MoonCancer.
Also, basing 90% of the sheet on TM concepts unrelated to his historical self as your entry to the Historical Fact contest is a peculiar choice lol
I'm awake, what's the--
NOOOOOO HISTORICAL ACCURACY
MY ONLY WEAKNESS
Fate\last call
night, dawn, and the birth of stars
╘══════════════════╕
Characters┤
Dictionary┤
Poll┤
Recent: Ch. ■┘
next arc: Spring 2024
Source: Bungou Stray Dogs
Class: Caster
Other Classes: N/A
True Name: Yosano Akiko
Alignment: True Neutral
Place of Origin: Japan (19th Century)
Parameters:
STR: D
END: D
AGI: C
MGI: B
LCK: C
NP: B
Height: 191cm
Weight: 120lbs
Likes: Peace, equality, self-sufficiency
Dislikes: Reliance, misogyny
Talent: Writing poetry
Natural Enemy: Oda Nobunaga, Altera
Attribute: Man
Traits: Female, Weak to Enuma Elish, Humanoid
Armament: Midaregami
Catalyst: A copy of Midaregami
Class Skills:
Territory Creation E: She is nigh-incapable of creating territories, so has a minimal rank.
Item Creation E: She cannot create many items, so has a minimal rank.
Personal Skills:
Myojo B: "Morningstar". A magazine which became one of the guiding lights in her life, which she wrote a lot for. It manifests as a skill, permitting her to create bursts of light which trace a path for her to follow, and accentuate all of her attacks.
The Day the Mountains Move B: The sublimation of one of her most famous poems. This permits her to reshape the earth, controlling it to send boulders rolling, create tripping hazards, sticking targets on top of hills or herself on top of them. Howeverm she can't reshape too much of it.
High-Speed Poetry Writing C: She was an extremely prolific writer so gains this skill permitting her to cast her stuff far faster, regenerating her mana to remove her boundaries in casting.
Noble Phantasm(s):
Kimi Shinitamou Koto Nakare
Thou Shall Not Die
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: C
Range: 1000 meters
Max Targets: 1
The sublimation of her most famous poem, Thou Shall Not Die, a plead to her brother to stop fighting and keep himself safe. When its true name is activated, a single target of her choice is safeguarded, appearing to be enwrapped in hair, for a short time from all dangers that it can. A noble phantasm born of a sister's wish to keep her brother alive.
Midaregami
Tangled Hair
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: B
Range: 10 meters
Max Targets: 1
The sublimation of her first poem anthology, Midaregami, a book consisting of telling the story of a woman whose hair is tangled in sin, but who manages to move forward without needing to untangle it. It manifests as her hair, which appears to grow endlessly with many tangles in it. When its true name is called, it enwraps a target, pulling it in to become merely a tangle in her hair.
Lore: Yosano Akiko (1879-1942) was a Japanese poet, author, and notable feminist who is one of the most noted Japanese poets from that era. In her early life, she was locked in her house. When she began writing, she wrote extremely quickly, writing many poems in a single day. She is most noted for "Thou Shall Not Die", Midaregami, and The Day The Mountains Move.
Personality: An elegant and serene person normally. She loves seeing figures from history to join her, though she dislikes those who were actively extremely warlike. She abhors those who want others to fight or die for them, which puts her at odds with most masters with the exception of those who fight in the front lines themselves or who joined the war by mistake.
Relationships:
Altera: "...Sword of the War God? What on earth?"
Oda Nobunaga: "Your wars killed so many people, and yet you merely ignore that? How dare you?"
Francis Drake: "Pirates? Interesting."
Queen Himiko: "A queen who led her people into an enlightened age. How wonderful to meet you."
Wu Zetian: "Your tactics may have been... cruel, but you built up an era of peace. How truly impressive."
Okita Souji: "The shinsegumi were a truly interesting force."
This is the better version, I hope.(If this is even allowed)
Since we astronomers are priests of the highest God in regards to the book of nature, it befits us to be thoughtful, not of the glory of our minds, but rather, above all else, the glory of God.
Author’s Notes version 2
Last edited by MuramasaMachII; September 3rd, 2023 at 07:43 PM.
Could've just edited the original post. As is you should probably delete the original since otherwise it'll be unclear for compiling purposes.
Got it.
I just figured out my first entry, and realized I really like making Berserkers, apparently.
Do you likejazzshort stories? Do you want something to distract from making Servants? Do you wish the idea of Shirou Kotomine didn't immediately bring edgelords to mind? Well, I can't promise it's good, but some would disagree with me.
Fate/Without Justice
Jesus, we already have sheets. The devil works fast but the peeps from Beast's Lair works even faster.
LMAO I'M SO SORRY but anyway, I know it's a joke but Imma use this opportunity to clarify stuff.
It's fine if you want to do something more subdued, respecting the accuracy of a person's tale. That's totally fine. But in the end, the only thing I'm asking in this prompt is basically this
Can you fuse your historical character with a mythological figure, as long as the main deal is historical? Yes. Can you make a sheet so out of pocket with crazy concepts and executions that it barely reminds one of the person they were in life? Absolutely. As long as the character is a historical™ verified™ person/animal/unknown thingy that existed and wasn't invented by anyone, go ham.
"oh this looks interesting," I say to myself as I spot something that sticks out while researching. "perhaps I should do a little bit of reading, just for context OH JESUS CHRIST"
Fate\last call
night, dawn, and the birth of stars
╘══════════════════╕
Characters┤
Dictionary┤
Poll┤
Recent: Ch. ■┘
next arc: Spring 2024
That's nice to hear for a newbie like me. I'm hoping to stick around then.
Ah oh good okay okay...really, the only thing stopping me is my shyness making me unsure who to ask this from...
Oh, speaking of questions though. If I have questions on things like "how does this skill work?" or "is there already a skill like this?" or "is there an NP that works like this?", should I ask it here or in the Create-A-Servant thread?inb4 the answer is obvious but im dense and dont realize it
Hey, thanks you two! I'm looking forward to showing off what I'm working on. I'm laughing my ass off writing it. XD
Um, though, maybe that might be just me.
Uh, well, at least it's something I do know no one has made a Servant before, so there's at least that!
Assuming my search results for this sub forum were correct and didn't miss anything...
Okay okay. Cool cool. I just felt the need to explain myself because I didn't consciously realize I was roleplaying until you pointed it out.
Lol same...
...except then I ended up with theee Servant ideas because I went "okay is there any historical figure i already like/is related to a topic I like already that i just don't know a lot about".
Aaaaahhhhhhh I was wondering if that would count but now I wanna try but...
...atm the idea that made me wonder that is Lolong with mythological buwaya, aka crocodile, which is a reaper. Sooo...Lolong would be too soon to count. And even then he doesn't really have a "legend". So he'd still not count.
There isn't really a "The Place", but I would personally recommend asking that kind of thing here.
Fate\last call
night, dawn, and the birth of stars
╘══════════════════╕
Characters┤
Dictionary┤
Poll┤
Recent: Ch. ■┘
next arc: Spring 2024
I second that
Everything related to before a sheet goes live can be asked there. If you need formatting help, Im ur guy too.
"Let's see the color of your coin, my friend."
Behold my vault of Heroes.
Where the Heavens and the Abyss breath the Music of Humanity.
The King's duty is to provide. And provide, I shall.
University of Formatting | Gallery of Potential | Memorandum of the Extra Class Kings
Our Kingdom will grow. And we shall know each citizen.
Create-a-Servant 4 soon.
Ah okay! Thanks for that! I'll go use it right now.
As for the formatting offer...I'll keep that in mind! So far I'm doing fine with the knowledge I already have of BB code and following your guide from your sig. But I'll ask ya if anything comes up.
"A drop of ink and water falls onto a fresh piece of parchment, heralding the start of the night parades..."
That would make a good preface.
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Last edited by Spelror; October 18th, 2022 at 12:41 PM. Reason: revamp.
how much the derailment of a "historical fact" sheet is tolerable? Is the challenge here is to stick to the fact as much as we can or are there ways we could distort the concept?
Would appreciate it if you check either of these links below
--- Fate/Antediluvian Hymn: Equilibrium of Chaos and Order ---
THE THRONE OF HEROES
thanks for the Visit!