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Thread: Create-a-Servant

  1. #14061
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nuclear Consensus View Post
    Mary the Jewess
    She's interesting. Potentially overpowered, if allowed to do the Caster thing of 'hole up in a place and build up power', but that's a good thing.

    Both of her Personal Skills being Magecraft-related is kind of eh, but otherwise good job.

    Quote Originally Posted by bigblack View Post
    Caster Altera/Attila
    Well, now she actually has some spell casting to qualify her as Caster, but there's still so many problems with her I don't really know where to start.

    First of all, that's still now how Territory Creation works. Second, Dolor Loculo Tribus, while actually a pretty cool NP, isn't suited for a Caster class servant, like, at all. Thirdly, Flagellum Dei could probably just be made into a (unique) Personal Skill rather than an NP, bu whatever. Stats are still too high for a Caster. I just...

    The only thing you changed from before was you gave her some spellcasting capability. So you've fixed one problem, how about all the others that were brought up last time?

    --EDIT--

    Anyway, I started working on this yesterday, then I remembered that the Hassan of Serenity exists and was basically the same concept, without having to have sex with the person to poison them. Still, I haven't posted a Servant on here for a while and I managed to get something resembling a full sheet made before I stopped, so here. Have an unfinished Vish Kanya.
    Vish Kanya
    Class: Assassin
    Master:
    True Name:
    Vish Kanya
    Sex: Female
    Height/Weight: 163cm/53kg
    Alignment: Lawful Neutral
    Appearance: This’ll do.

    Strength: E
    Endurance: C
    Agility: A
    Magical Energy: C
    Luck: D
    Noble Phantasm: C

    Class Skills:
    Presence Concealment: D

    Personal Skills:
    Seduction: A+

    Information Gathering: C

    Kalaripayattu: B

    Protection from Wind: D

    Noble Phantasm:
    ???: ? (Anti-??)
    Last edited by Crying; April 19th, 2016 at 10:39 AM.
    Certified F/GO hater.

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  2. #14062
    夜魔 Nightmare ZSB1999's Avatar
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    For a noble phantasm (if you're still looking for one) could be based on them creating the whole poison damsel archetype. Or you could make them a mix between 100-face hassan and hassan of serenity.

  3. #14063
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Assassin
    Beatrice Rappaccini



    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Place of birth: Padua
    STR: E
    END: E
    AGI: E
    MAG: D
    LUCK: C
    NP: A+


    Class Skill

    Presence Concealment (D): The capacity to hide one's presence as a Servant. This level is suitable only for spying. Assassin’s closeness with her father’s experiments mean that unless one can see otherwise, she will be perceived as a plant. Her danger lies not in her ability to hide, but her ability to draw close to people without arousing suspicion; her beauty and charm are enough to sooth even the most suspicious of hearts.

    Personal Skills

    Magecraft (B-): The ability to use various magecraft techniques as both a combat and support technique. Though a powerful natural spellcaster, being the only daughter of a famed magus who specialized in the creations of poisons and medicines, Assassin was never formally taught the craft and even now can only cast spells unconsciously. Her magic lies with plants: she can cause them to flourish and make them grow even out of solid stone. However, she can only summon and grow the poisonous plants bred by her father; ordinary plants will wither and die in her presence. Due to her untrained nature, she is unable to be summoned as a Caster, despite her natural talent and the fact that it would undoubtedly be a very good class for her.

    Poison Body (A+): A skill possessed by one whose very nature is poison, their touch brings delirium, their breath brings death. Suffused with the oils of poisonous flowers since birth, Assassin’s very existence is poison itself. Animals that dare to enter her presence are stricken with a swift and terrible death, and plants held in her hands will blacken and crumble. Her body and breath are suffused with a sweet, narcotic fragrance, which is caused by the poison filling her body seeping out.

    Resistance to Poison (EX): A skill that makes the user resistant to poison. As someone whose very existence could be considered poison itself, poisons are as air and water to her, and have absolutely no effect whatsoever. However, as a drawback, antidotes – those which nullify poisons and render them harmless – are anathema to her.

    Self-Delusion: (C):
    A powerful suggestion directed at oneself that raises resistance against mental interference. Differing from the Self-Suggestion skill, it is entirely unconscious, causing the wielder to view their body differently. Due to the traumatic nature of her death, Assassin is completely unable to comprehend the toxic nature of her existence, and is constantly puzzled why living things die in her presence. In addition, she views her father’s flowers as her ‘sisters’ and will address them as such.

    Noble Phantasm

    Rappaccini’s Garden – Walled Garden of Beautiful Death (Anti-Team, A+)
    Spoilered for size
    From its appearance, he judged it to be one of those botanic gardens which were of earlier date in Padua than elsewhere in Italy or in the world. Or, not improbably, it might once have been the pleasure-place of an opulent family; for there was the ruin of a marble fountain in the centre, sculptured with rare art, but so woefully shattered that it was impossible to trace the original design from the chaos of remaining fragments. The water, however, continued to gush and sparkle into the sunbeams as cheerfully as ever. A little gurgling sound ascended to the young man's window, and made him feel as if the fountain were an immortal spirit that sung its song unceasingly and without heeding the vicissitudes around it, while one century embodied it in marble and another scattered the perishable garniture on the soil. All about the pool into which the water subsided grew various plants, that seemed to require a plentiful supply of moisture for the nourishment of gigantic leaves, and in some instances, flowers gorgeously magnificent. There was one shrub in particular, set in a marble vase in the midst of the pool, that bore a profusion of purple blossoms, each of which had the lustre and richness of a gem; and the whole together made a show so resplendent that it seemed enough to illuminate the garden, even had there been no sunshine. Every portion of the soil was peopled with plants and herbs, which, if less beautiful, still bore tokens of assiduous care, as if all had their individual virtues, known to the scientific mind that fostered them. Some were placed in urns, rich with old carving, and others in common garden pots; some crept serpent-like along the ground or climbed on high, using whatever means of ascent was offered them. One plant had wreathed itself round a statue of Vertumnus, which was thus quite veiled and shrouded in a drapery of hanging foliage, so happily arranged that it might have served a sculptor for a study.
    The garden of Dr. Rappaccini’s palazzo in Padua, the home of his deadly daughter Beatrice, now called by her into existence as a Reality Marble. Because she was never allowed outside the garden, she came to view it as the entire world, and thus her inner world takes its form. Like all her magecraft she can only activate it unconsciously. A walled garden filled with the most beautiful and fragrant flowers, it nevertheless feels unnatural, and it may be a while before the prisoner realizes what’s wrong: aside from Beatrice and the plants, there are no living things in the garden, no insects, birds or any other wildlife. Using her magic, Beatrice can call on the plants to ensnare her guests, and it goes without saying that their very touch is deadly, far more so than their human sister. The strength of the toxins are enough to even overwhelm poison resistance, though gradual exposure over the course of several months allows one to potentially develop an immunity. Surrounded by high walls and iron gates, escape from the garden is impossible without Beatrice’s permission.

    Lore
    Assassin is Beatrice Rappaccini. A beautiful girl who dreams of love, her charms and innocence are powerful enough to lure in anyone who approaches. Traumatized by her death whilst alive, she has driven out all thoughts of poisons and flowers, and is unable to comprehend why things die in her presence, or at the touch of her sisters. Despite this, she is not stupid by any means, has a wide botanical knowledge thanks to the tutelage of her father, and can brew powerful medicine from her sisters if she so chooses (she doesn’t). However, her knowledge is purely mundane in nature and does not extend to magecraft. Her childishness and ignorance make her a very dangerous Servant.


    - - - Updated - - -

    #anothershamelessripoff

    I WANNA LOVE YOU BUT I'D BETTER NOT TOUCH
    Last edited by asterism42; April 20th, 2016 at 09:11 AM.
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  4. #14064
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Is Rappaccini’s Garden really worthy of an EX rank? Even if it is a Reality Marble...

    I mean, a similar NP I gave to my Persephone sheet a while ago (Paradisos Háidēs) was 'only' ranked A++, even though it was quite a bit more powerful and versatile. For this I would say something like A or A+ should be enough.

    It also seems like you could easily lump Resistance To Poison and Poison Body into a single Skill. Other then that it's a cool sheet, kind of like a cross between Hassan of Serenity (poisonous body, alluring) and Semiramis (garden, Magecraft).

  5. #14065
    夜魔 Nightmare ZSB1999's Avatar
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    Rider
    Theme


    True Name- Absalom
    Alignment- Chaotic Good
    Place of Origin- Israel
    Likes- His Grandfather, Solomon, Tamar, The People of Israel, David
    Dislikes- Amnon, Joab, His Hair Getting Tangled in Things, David
    Weapon- Shepard's Crook (Like Father, Like Son)

    Faceclaim


    Stats-

    Strength- C
    Endurance- D
    Agility- A
    Mana- B
    Luck- E
    Noble Phantasm- B+

    Class Skills-

    Riding- A-

    All creatures but those of Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast-rank can be used as mounts. However mounts considered "peasant-like" such as Mules and Donkeys will give Rider multiple Rank Downs to Magic Resistance, and a Rank Down to all Stats. This includes modern day vehicles that are seen as a "common man's" method of transportation.

    The minus is due to his death being caused by the mule he rode upon. The mule, ran under a tree where his long hair would be caught in the branches. The mule would then run away leaving Rider hanging defenseless, just waiting to be killed.

    Magic Resistance- A+ (C)


    Cancel spells of A+ Rank or below. In practice, the Servant is untouchable to modern magi, so it would not be an exaggeration to title the Servant a "Magus Killer".

    Being the son of David already grants Rider the highest amount of magic resistance naturally. However, his magic resistance has been boosted even further due to his experience dealing with magic through his brother Solomon, who is also known as the King of Magic.

    Personal Skills-

    Grace of God- A++

    The greatest body and good looks, a skill that denotes the "beauty of royalty". His charming manners, personal beauty, and insinuating ways, together with his love of pomp and royal pretensions, captivate the hearts of the people from the moment they lay eyes on him. This allows him to easily persuade others to do nearly anything he wishes.

    Military Tactics- B-

    Tactical knowledge used not for one-on-one combat situations, but for battles where many are mobilized. Bonus modifiers are provided during use of one's own Anti-Army Noble Phantasm or when dealing against an enemy Anti-Army Noble Phantasm. However when faced with an enemy that also has Military Tactics of any rank, this skill causes Rider's bonus modifiers to become negative. This in turn makes him weaker against Anti-Army Noble Phantasms.

    In life Rider was able to successfully lead a revolt and drive David out of power. He was a very skilled tactician and knew how to lead an army extremely effectively. His one and only loss was at the Wood of Ephraim. This battle was a total and utter defeat, and Absalom was famously caught in a tree by his hair during it. Later he was found by Joab and killed while he was hanging from the tree, completely defenseless.

    Rebellious Prince- B+

    A Skill that is given to Servants who were a member of royalty, and during their life time they became both a rebel and a king/queen. Grants the Servant Nature of a Rebellious Spirit- B and Charisma- B. The ranks of these two skills depends on the rank of Rebellious Prince.

    The King Serves the People- A

    This skill is only available to rulers that were humble and served their people in life. This skill allows Rider to gain the allegiance of any that he serves. The way he can serve someone ranges from servant work, to aiding them in combat. Any Anti-Mental Interference skills or Noble Phantasms negate the effects of this skill.

    And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him obeisance, he put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him. And in this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel" Here Absalom is shown with great humility. When a man came offer his respect and allegiance to the Prince, Absolam instead knelt before them and kissed their hand, showing to them that when he becomes king he will serve them.


    Noble Phantasms-

    A Chariot Fit for a Ruler

    Envy of the People- C++


    Support/Anti-Mind

    Rider's personal chariot that he used to help him enchant the hearts of the people. This chariot passively charms those that look upon it. This also means that those that have a high magic resistance (C or higher) would not be affected by the charm. The charm is less of a romantic attachment and more of a feeling of loyalty and respect for Rider. The chariot's activated effect is a boost to Rider's allies' stats. Specifically it adds a plus to each of their parameters. While this effect is active Rider cannot attack, he must let his allies fight for him instead. He can only defend himself by evading or blocking enemy attacks, and cannot retaliate in any shape or form.

    This Noble Phantasm is based off the magnificent chariot Rider obtained to charm the hearts of the people. This would lead to both the people of Israel and Judah flocking to him. This chariot also further supported Absalom by inspiring his troops on the battlefield. However unfortunately while this chariot won the hearts of the people, it was not meant for battle and Rider is unable to fight at his true strength from it, rather than aiding him on the battlefield it only hampered his individual combat effectiveness.

    Final Battlefield of a Rebellious Son
    Wood of Ephraim- B

    Anti-Army/Anti-Self

    Rider summons a Reality Marble that brings him and his opponent into the Wood of Ephraim. While in this Reality Marble Rider receives a minus to every stat. However in return he is granted command of his personal guard, containing fifty wraiths in total. This is based off how when Rider obtained his chariot, he also brought a group of fifty guards everywhere he went to further flaunt his power and obtain the envy of the people. These wraiths are not nearly as powerful as a servant, they may have servant tier parameters, but they are all at E rank. The final effect of this Noble Phantasm is that while inside, enemies cannot fatally wound Rider unless they have a skill that negates mental interference. This does not mean that they cannot injure Rider, in fact they can bring him to the brink of death, but they cannot deal the finishing blow. This is based off how David had ordered that no one shall kill Absalom during the battle of Ephraim's Wood.

    How Can I Be Remembered Without a Son?
    Absalom's Monument- B+

    Anti-Death

    It is said that you never truly die as long as there is someone that remembers you. Absalom had no heir and no way to ensure that his name continued on, to fix this problem he built a monument bearing his own name, so that he would be remembered long after he has died and been buried. Rider can build this monument only once during the Holy Grail War, should it be destroyed, the following effects will be lost. The effect of this Noble Phantasm is the ability to escape death, should Rider die, and the Monument is still intact, he will be revived at the monument at the start of the next day. This will continue until the Monument has been destroyed. The Monument itself, while sturdy and well built, should prove no problems for any servant seeking to destroy it (except possibly an Assassin or Caster). The number of revives is limited only to how long the monument lasts, and how long the master can continue to supply mana.

    Personality/Lore
    To some Rider may appear to be nothing more than an air-head that has no brains to go with his beauty. However this is certainly not true. During his youth he allowed others to think he was nothing more than just a pretty face and bided his time planning on how he would eventually take over the Kingdom. As the third son of David, succession through normal means was out of the question, and he could see that neither of his older brothers would be fitting kings of Israel. He was finally pushed to the edge and took action when his Half-Brother Amnon (David's Oldest Son) raped Absalom's sister, Tamar. He had Amnon murdered at a banquet, later known as the Banquet of Absalom (A Noble Phantasm he has access to if he is summoned in the Caster class). After having his oldest brother murdered, Absalom would flee to Talmai which was ruled by his Grandfather. Three years later he would return to Jerusalem and put his plan to take the throne into action. Using his natural good looks, and his skill at public speaking to good use, he became loved by all the people in Israel. After successfully stealing the hearts of the people through various methods he would continue to drive David out of Jerusalem and take the throne for himself. This victory would be short lived as he would face his end after the Battle of Ephraim's Wood, at the hands of Joab. Rider is very cunning and uses everything at his disposal to accomplish his goals. He is a kind and loving brother, but there are times where he realizes that the kingdom must ultimately come first. He will do almost anything if it means the betterment of the greater good. While he normally is patient and waits for the exact right time to strike, he is prone to making hasty decisions when he is angered, as shown with the murder of his older brother Amnon and his decision to fight Davids forces at the Battle of Ephraim's Wood. His rare hasty decisions will eventually catch up to him and lead to his death. It can be seen as ironic that his beauty, which allowed him to stage his revolt, would be the cause of his death. His long hair got stuck in a tree and he was left hanging there, defenseless, for Joab to kill. He had a very close relationship with Solomon and the two shared a mutual respect for one another. In a way, Absalom's actions are what would eventually lead to Solomon becoming king and succeeding David. Unfortunately where history remembers David and Solomon as Great Heroes and Wise Rulers. It only will remember Absalom as an evil and traitorous man. It says nothing of the fact that he did everything for the good of the people, nor of David's poor leadership at the time. Even Absalom's act of avenging his sister is not seen as justified. Rather it is used to make David look better and make Absalom look more like a demon incarnate. History doesn't mention the pain Absalom felt when he had to decide between his Father and his People. It twists his humble actions towards his people as simply a way to gain power instead of him showing love for those he ruled over.
    Last edited by ZSB1999; April 20th, 2016 at 04:44 PM. Reason: Added Skill

  6. #14066
    夜魔 Nightmare ZSB1999's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asterism42 View Post
    Beatrice


    Do I feel bad? No, no I do not.

    As for the sheet the only thing that I have to add is maybe give her the skill Looks of Loveliness. It would suit the whole beautiful girl part, and it would make people DESIRE her, which would make poison body much more useful.

    I'll just leave this here...
    Last edited by ZSB1999; April 19th, 2016 at 09:49 PM.

  7. #14067
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZSB1999
    True Name- Absalom

    So this is the Absalom sheet you'd been talking about, huh. Not familiar with his legend particularly, so when you said you'd do him as a Servant I was thinking he'd be Chaotic or Lawful Evil since he rebelled against the (mostly) heroic David. But your take on him is much more interesting.

    A little funny that he has the battle he (ignominiously) lost in as a Noble Phantasm, but then it does fit. Overall he sounds like a bit of a lackluster Servant, with all of his NPs (and some Skills) other then the Monument having key downsides, along how Riders in general are more reliant on strong NPs then other Classes. The Monument is a cool idea for an NP, the effect is quite powerful and yet it can easily be thwarted should his enemies figure out what's going on and just destroy it.

    Wonder what he'd think of Mordred, another famous rebel against a mythical hero-king whom he/she had a... complicated relationship with?

  8. #14068
    夜魔 Nightmare ZSB1999's Avatar
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    He is definitely weaker than most (of my) other servants. The thing that he has going for him is his persuasion and good looks. He basically has to capitalize on using his persuasion to gain more allies and then using those allies to fight for him. This is why his chariot NP might not seem like much, but its effects fit perfectly with his strategy of gaining allies, and then having them fight while he supports them.

    -EDIT-
    I could add his whole "Murder Banquet" thing as an NP. Do you think it would improve the sheet, or would it be something unnecessary tacked on? Also I based his stats around David's, but should I buff them?
    Last edited by ZSB1999; April 19th, 2016 at 09:02 PM.

  9. #14069
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Servant Assassin:

    True Name: Hassan of Gunpowder 'Bomb Witch'

    Alignment: Chaotic Evil

    Strength- D
    Agility- B
    Endurance- E
    Mana- D
    Luck- C
    NP- D

    Appearance:

    (Like this, only with a skull mask over the lower half of her face)

    Personality: Seductive and alluring. She appears attractive, but hides an unsightly personality that could be called rotten like trash within. She was reviled even by her fellows of the Hashashin, referred to by the title 'Bomb Witch'. Unlike the others, she did not commit her crimes for the sake of Allah, so was exiled from the clan and formally branded as a heretic.

    Her personal philosophy is best described as "All humans will someday die, so instead of rotting out under a ditch somewhere why not go out in a blaze of passionate glory?" For that reason, she sees destruction as the purest kind of euphoria and pursues it relentlessly, becoming what in modern day would be referred to as a 'Terrorist'. In her twisted mind, she is just doing people a favor, since "Human lives burn brightest just before being extinguished!" As such, it is likely she would get along greatly with a certain Kirei Kotomine, even despite differing religions.

    Likes: 'Going out with a bang!'
    Dislikes: erosion over time
    Talent: bombing
    Natural Enemy: all the other Hassans


    Class Skills:

    Presence Concealment (B-)- Ability to conceal one's aura from others, though it must be dropped before attacking. Assassin's ostentatious personality is not at all a match for this Skill, though her training as one of the Hassan i Sabbah insures that she's still capable of utilizing it at a fairly high degree of proficiency.


    Personal Skills:

    Demolition Expert (A+)- An expertise in the art of demolitions. At this rank, Assassin can discern at a glance the structural faults of any given building and how to best take it down. Not any form of supernatural ability, but a honed sense of one to have spent her life courting destruction.


    Noble Phantasm:


    Zabaniya- Ecstacy Of Exploding (D, Anti-Unit): Not a specific ability, but a generic title shared by all the 'secret techniques' of the Hassan i Sabbah. In Assassin's case, it consists in how she modified her body through painful surgeries to store and secrete gunpowder. Upon releasing it from her body, she can manipulate the gunpowder through accursed arts, forming a variety of shapes and patterns which she can detonate at will.

    Her most common use is to shape it into the form of butterflies, which flutter towards her intended targets before exploding. These expend only a little amount of gunpowder for a relatively small charge. She can also release greater amounts in the forms of spiraling dragons or other, more elaborate patterns. Another favored technique is to form a full-body replica of herself out of gunpowder to serve as a diversion, detonating should her opponent try to attack it. Also, if pushed to her absolute limit Assassin can choose to detonate all the gunpowder accumulated in her body simultaneously as a suicide attack, for a mighty explosion capable of leveling an entire city block.

    A highly powerful and versatile ability, accentuated by Assassin's own enginuity and wicked creative sense. But as it possesses little in the form of Mystery, its formal rank is quite low.


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    First time doing a sheet for one of the Hassan. Basically an OC, but that's true of all the Hassans featured across the Fate franchise. Might end up using her personality and powers in an original story someday, since I quite like the concept behind her. NP is obviously inspired by Papillon's "Near Death Happiness" from the Busou Renkin manga, with my own personal touches added. As always, be sure to drop by with comments and criticisms!

  10. #14070
    夜魔 Nightmare ZSB1999's Avatar
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    When I saw hassan of gun powder I was worried that it was going be a copy of the hassan from the third holy grail war. His ability is that if he touches your head, it explodes. But I was pleasantly surprised. Also nice job on the noble phantasm, I'm not all that creative, and would have just made it something like "BOOM! BIG EXPLOSION!", but you made it something more unique, so once again, good job. The fact that she only has one personal skill is a bit odd, but it fits for the sheet, so it's fine. All in all, nice sheet!

  11. #14071
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZSB1999 View Post
    When I saw hassan of gun powder I was worried that it was going be a copy of the hassan from the third holy grail war. His ability is that if he touches your head, it explodes. But I was pleasantly surprised. Also nice job on the noble phantasm, I'm not all that creative, and would have just made it something like "BOOM! BIG EXPLOSION!", but you made it something more unique, so once again, good job. The fact that she only has one personal skill is a bit odd, but it fits for the sheet, so it's fine. All in all, nice sheet!
    Thanks! Totally forgot about Hassan from the third war, though now that you mention it he did have a somewhat similar ability. See what you mean about only giving her one Skill, and I even thought about adding Disengage (at a really low rank), with the logic being that she'd need to get away after performing her bombings, but ultimately decided it was unnecessary.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, I think you're plenty creative. No need to put yourself down, ZSB.

  12. #14072
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Allahu Akbar

    Fate Grand/Order ID: 102947414/GreenBob
    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  13. #14073
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JetKinen View Post
    Allahu Akbar
    Was wondering when I was going to get a reply like that.

    Seriously though, when making a 'Middle Eastern Terrorist' themed character, inviting those kinds of political comparisons is inevitable. Though I did try to distance myself from such things by noting how she was unique amongst the Hassans for not committing her crimes in the name of Allah. She's a philosophical terrorist, not a religious one.

  14. #14074
    The smell of the lukewarm ocean and the chorus of cicadas RoydGolden's Avatar
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    By the way, anyone whose a fan of historical characters done in anime style (not like Fate, but not wholly dissimilar either) might want to check out the blog Moe History on Tumblr. As long as you don't mind the somewhat excessive (even by my standards) genderbending, anyways. I know I got inspired to make a Dorian Gray sheet after reading his entry there.

  15. #14075
    アルテミット・ワン Ultimate One asterism42's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm77 View Post
    He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
    Quote Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya View Post
    Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
    Quote Originally Posted by Five_X View Post
    Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
    Quote Originally Posted by Comun View Post
    I think Alex IV can eat Goku.

  16. #14076
    夜魔 Nightmare ZSB1999's Avatar
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    I feel as though I've done one too many Israel servants in a row...
    Next servant will be one of my little country's national heroes, a certain Midnight Rider

  17. #14077
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RoydGolden View Post
    Hassan of Gunpowder 'Bomb Witch'
    Wasn't there a Naruto character with basically the same ability?

    According to google/the wiki, yes but it was exploding clay rather than gunpowder. And they were a dude.

    ...anyway, questionable uniqueness aside, good job I suppose. She's a rather simple Servant, but it's nice to see one like that every now and then.

    --EDIT--

    Quote Originally Posted by ZSB1999 View Post
    For a noble phantasm (if you're still looking for one) could be based on them creating the whole poison damsel archetype. Or you could make them a mix between 100-face hassan and hassan of serenity.
    Like I said, I stopped working on her after I remembered the Hassan of Serenity existed and did basically the same thing. I might eventually go back and redo her sheet, but I'll probably just leave her as is - abandoned. If I do redo her though, I'll probably take your suggestion.

    Since I'm talking about abandoned sheets, I guess I'll bring up Guinevere. She's in the same position of 'I might go back and redo her one day, but probably not', however her reason was because she was a rather boring sheet and I just wanted to be done. If I did go back and work on her, I'd probably just give Berserker!Guinevvere an NP or two.

    Speaking of which, her NPs would probably be:

    Lancelot (or a fake Lancelot) would protect her, some sort of NP based around her almost execution and maybe something to do with the fall of Camelot.
    Last edited by Crying; April 20th, 2016 at 12:41 AM. Reason: Talking about my own Sheets
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  18. #14078
    Tranquilo, Japones, Tranquilo JetKinen's Avatar
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    Rider
    Faceclaim

    (Butch Cassidy on the Left and Sundance Kid on the Right)
    Info
    True Name:Robert LeRoy Parker & Harry Alonzo Longabaugh
    Also known as: Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid
    Gender: Male
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Likes: Vehicles, High Speed Heists, When a Good Plan Comes Together(Butch), his wife(Kid) .
    Dislikes: Cops, Investigators, The Bolivian Army, Last Stands.
    Parameters and Skills
    STR: D
    END: C+
    AGI: B+
    MGI: C
    LCK: C


    Class Skills


    Riding
    B+ - This is the Class Skill of Rider and Saber, is the ability to ride mounts. At this rank most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts.


    Magic Resistance
    D - This skill grants protection against magical effects. Differently from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. With this rank the Servant can cancel Single-Action spells. Magic Resistance of the same degree of an amulet that rejects magical energy.


    Personal Skills


    Combination
    B - This is the rare skill given to the pairs of heroic spirits that are summoned as a single set of servants. Butch & Kid are as good as a friend as one can possibly be. Since their legend became one. It's almost impossible to talk of one of them without mentioning the other. Killing one of them will also kill the other.


    Battle Continuation
    C+ - This is the strength of vitality for predicaments. Also, the ability to withdraw from combat and reach allied territory alive after being defeated. Allows for a last burst of action by them after being gravely injured.


    Disengage
    A - This the ability to break away from combat. The duo is specially good at speedy gateways.


    Marksmanship
    A+/C - This is the skill given by those heroic spirits who displayed great feats of markmanship with firearms. Both of them were excellent shooters, but Sundance Kid was known as one of the greatest markmans in the wild west. When compared to the other legendary bandits, he is only behind Jesse James and Billy the Kid. Butch meanwhile is mostly just a competent marksman.


    Planning
    A/C - This is a skill that denotes the ability to plan and plot. Butch planned most of the Wild Bunch heists. He knew the perfect time to attack, the best intimidation tactics and the best escape route. Sundance ended up getting some of those skills by osmosis.
    Biography & Lore
    Robert LeRoy Parker and Harry Alonzo Longabaugh, or more known as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid were the leaders of the Wild Bunch, the most famous gang of bank & train robbers of the Wild West. Butch and Sundance led the gang in some of the most famous succesful heists of the Wild Wests. Butch plans and Sundance markmanship gave them notorious fame all around the country. Soon the entire country was after them, so they ran away to Bolivia. In the end they could never leave their bandit life behind and they met their fate facing the Bolivia Army after a heist-gone-bad.


    The Duo if summoned in a Grail War have a real simple wish. To enact the greatest heist in the history of the world: Steal the Holy Grail. Butch is a jolly fellow, always with a smile in his mouth, but behind his smile he is always thinking on a plan to sucker someone in. Thanks to his poor aim compared to his buddy, Butch likes to use weapons with a bigger radius of effect to compesate for that. Like Dynamites. Loads of Dynamites. Sundance Kid is meanwhile visibly younger than Butch and a much quieter man. He always laughs at Butch jokes, but he is much more awkward with strangers. Always carries with him a picture of his wife and his trusty Colt Revolver and a Winchester Rifle that he uses for longer shots.
    Noble Phantasms
    The Great Train Robbery
    Grand Theft Auto

    This Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of the duo favorite type of Heist: The train one. Butch and Kid made multiple succesfull Train robberies in his life become one of the most notorious robbers in the wild west. They would always trike hard and quick, utilizing dynamites to stop the train, getting in using the dynamites to bust out the safe, getting the money and running away. Once the cops got to the train, they were already long gone. This Noble Phantasm allows them enact their favorite high speed heists once again.


    Butch & Kid can at touch steal a vehicle. If the vehicle is being piloted by a Servant they must first get their hands on whatever controls the vehicle, like the steering wheel for cars. Against normal human beings though, Butch and Kid only need to touch the vehicle. Once they do it, the owner will lose any sort of control over the vehicle which will be given to the duo. They can then store the vehicle, making it disappear in a flash of light, into a vault set in another space of reality. The vault works like a extra prana battery, and the more vehicles they have stored in that vault, the more extra prana they have in store to be used. Mix and match the vehicles inside the vault, outfitting them with whatever parts they have inside of it, and bring them out for their use. The vehicle comes out from an "invisible door" speeding at its max velocity. They generally use those vehicles for gateaways, but they can also the beginning of that technique as an offensive move, ramming the opponent with many vehicles, though that will quickly spend the prana they have store
    Anti-Unit - C

    Heres a pretty simple servant. Mostly posting them here because i think the Noble Phantasm is a neat idea. I think suddenly throwing an airbus at the opponent is a funny image
    Didn't write much on the lore this time, because i admitedly don't know much about them. Did the sheet mostly with the idea of the NP in mind.

    Once again feedback is always welcome.
    Last edited by JetKinen; April 20th, 2016 at 01:48 PM.

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    JetKinen's tries very poorly to translate a brazilian book

  19. #14079
    All of Your Sadness Crying's Avatar
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    That Rider is certainly... interesting. I like the idea of a train just coming in from off screen and ramming someone.

    F/GO
    Anyway, who do you guys think the other Grand Servants are?
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  20. #14080
    死徒二十七祖 The Twenty Seven Dead Apostle Ancestors Bird of Hermes's Avatar
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    Mary the Jewess - Has the potential to be very overpowered, With Kabbalah as a unique skill, I don't see High Speed Incantation as necessary, I had a similar issue with my Faust sheet. Everything else is great.

    Caster!Altera - Still not overly fond of the concept to be honest, you picked the class she is least suitable with so it just doesn't work whatever way it's spinned.

    Vish Kanya - She's unfinished so there's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said.

    Beatrice - I'm not sure the Noble Phantasm is EX worthy, I'd drop it to A or A+. Everything else is solid.

    Absalom - Seems a little underpowered but I think that's what you were aiming for. I wouldn't add the Murder Banquet as you already have 3 Noble Phantasms.

    Hassan of Gunpowder - She has a simple design but it works well. The minimalism works with her theme. Didn't expect to see Cinder Fall as a faceclaim but it works if she was a heritic.

    Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid - 10/10 of the Gyro and Johnny faceclaims. Very interesting Noble Phantasm (could it drop a steamroller on someone?)

    F/GO

    If we're keeping a biblical theme...
    Saber- ???
    Lancer- Loginus
    Archer- Nimrod
    Rider- Noah
    Berserker- Samson
    Assassin- Cain

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