Woah, I have never seen someone point two fingers at a person when stating they are watching them!Originally Posted by bahamut zero
Woah, I have never seen someone point two fingers at a person when stating they are watching them!
-Yet those gems will never roll anything-
I've always been fond of twisting children's stories, most notably Red Riding Hood. xD She might appear if you botch up a summoning ritual with a wolf part as a catalyst.
---------Red Riding Hood-------
Class: Rider
Alignment: Chaotic/Good
---Stats---
Strength: D
Endurance: C
Agility: B
Prana: D
Luck: A
NP: A
---Class Abilities---
~Riding: A
Able to manipulate mechanical contraptions and ride all creatures but the Phantasmal Beast and Divine Beast ranks.
~Independent Action: C
Capable of remaining in this world for one day without an established contract.
---Skills---
~Animal Dialogue: A
Able to effortlessly convey complicated communication of intention with animals. Unfortunately, for Rider, this is limited to wolves only.
~Self Modification: B
Ability to fuse her own flesh with that of others to either boost her offense or use a quick replacement from damage.
When the flesh comes from a person or creature with divinity, all Ranks are increased by 1.
---Noble Phantasms---
Red Riding Hood
Rank: B+
Type: Barrier
Red Riding Hood's mother had been a magus, and the hood she had been given was enchanted with defensive spells. It is as light as an ordinary cloak, and as long she wears it, it will grant her protection like armor; ordinary weapons will clang against it as if it were made of metal. It is able to powerful enough to allow Rider to survive the direct attack from one Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm, after which it will tear apart.
Fenrir - Big Bad Wolf
Rank: A+
Type: Support
Target: 1 ~ ???
By forcing a wolf familiar to ingest the blood of Rider, it will automatically transform into Fenrir; an ancient sentient powerful Demi-Human silver-furred werewolf with cunning, high intelligence and amazing prowess, along with even a small level of Divinity. His existence in this world is dependent upon Rider's prana, thus he will disappear into nothingness once she's completely drained. Fenrir is capable of transitioning between a human form for appearance, a large wolf form for speed, and a really durable bipedal form for combat. He is bloodthirsty and battlethirsty, with average magical resistance, and has a really bad relation with Rider. Sort of unpredictable.
His stomach has the properties of a Reality Marble.
This was the 'big bad wolf' in Little Red Riding Hood, using his human form to fool the little girl and her grandmother, before eating them with his wolf form. He was tracked down and had his stomach cut open so Little Red Riding Hood could emerge. She had mostly been protected from being digested due to her magic-imbued red riding hood, which was how she survived, but the uncovered parts of her body had been fused with the werewolf's acid, granting her similar powers to a wolf.
It is unknown whether he is the same Fenrir from Norse mythology, as he never speaks about his past.
-------------
There you go. A twisted children's book Servant.
Last edited by Merces; June 25th, 2012 at 11:03 AM.
Okay I think we have a new winner for the "Can't See Shit Captain" Award. Seriously, I am not reading this until it is possible to look at it without wanting to claw one's eyes out.
Sorry, something in the post glitched -_-"
But I admit, it did come out more longer than I was first expecting o_o
Last edited by Merces; June 25th, 2012 at 04:57 AM. Reason: Additional info
Fenrir and Leavateinn...um...okay? ^^;;;
F/GO SUPPORT
xD Chillax. Fenrir's just an uncontrollable summon that would quickly consume Rider's prana, while Leavateinn's just a detail. Similar to F/SN Caster and the Golden Fleece.
Stats are already good, though i'd probably give her Agility B and Mana C.
Too many redundant personal skills. I'd keep Animal Dialogue and Self-Modification, then ditch the other three.
Lavateinn needs to go. She'd be potent enough the big bad wolf. Also i liked the concept of the big bad wolf as a magical creature, because i heard in some tales the wolf did persuade the girl to ditch all of her clothing before eating her (subtext subtext).
"MONGLERS!" - Gilgamesh, last words
The Golden Fleece is directly connected to Medea.
Laevateinn has no connection to Red Riding Hood, neither does Fenrir.
Last edited by Lycodrake; June 25th, 2012 at 09:50 AM.
F/GO SUPPORT
That was in fact the entire point of the story in the first place.
Most of the skills seem to come from the wolf rather than Red herself, aside from Animal Dialogue and her hood. She seems more of a detail.
*sighs* Fine, fine, Leavateinn is gone.
And yes. That's exactly what I was trying to imply, with Fenrir being a werewolf ;]
As for the detail bit... true enough. Remember that in the story, the girl herself was harmless. It was the wolf that was the threat.
Well, my first attempt at making a Servant based on mythology, and my first serious attempt. Hope I didn't make any mistakes in regards to the stats or background.
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Servant Caster
Appearance
True Name: Jezebel
Alignment – Neutral Evil
Strength – E
Agility – C
Mana – A+
Luck – C
Endurance – E
Noble Phantasm – A
Class Skills
Item Construction – C
Capable of making powerful charms with various effects.
Territory Creation – A
Creation of a "Temple" becomes possible.
Personal Skills
Clairvoyance – C++
Capable of keeping track of fast-moving object within a range of 4kms.
High-Speed Divine Words – B
Greater Ritual-level Magecraft can be cast at the speed of Single-Action spells.
Mystic Eyes – A
Possesses Mystic Eyes that enchants the souls of those who the user looks at and of those who look at the user.
Noble Phantasms
Mark of the False ProphetEye of Baʿal
Rank – C
Type – Anti-Unit (Self)
The crystalization of Caster’s assotiation with prophecies, as well as her title of False Prophet, taking the form of a jewel. Using this Noble Phantasm Caster is able to boost her clairvoyance, granting her limited precognition. With this, she can predict her opponents attacks, as well as locate far-away enemies.
Divine Tome of Arcane LorePhoenicia
Rank – A
Type – Anti-Army
A tome of ancient spells said to have been created by the gods themselves. Caster can use the various spells contained within the tome, including High-Thaumaturgy-level spells, Golem familiars, or a Bounded Field replicating the City of Death, Mirey.
Background
Phoenician princess, and wife of Ahab, King of Israel, described in the Book of Kings. After marrying Ahab as part of a political alliance, Jezebel became the power behind the throne. She started converting Israel from worship of the Jewish god to worship of the Phoenician god Baʿal, and killed several Jewish prophets.
In response, the prophet Elijah challenged the prophets of Baʿal to determine whose deity was the real God. After her prophets failed and were massacred, Elijah became Jezebel's sworn enemy. Jezebel used her charms and influence in order to obtain what she wanted. After the killing of Naboth, a landowner who Jezebel had falsely accused and executed so she could take his land for her husband, Elijah prophesied her death.
After Ahab's death, Jezebel maintained power through her sons, Ahaziah and Jehoram. The prophet Elisha eventually sent his servant Jehu to overthrow the house of Ahab. During the ensuing confrontation, Jehoram was killed, and Jehu convinced the court officials to kill Jezebel by throwing her out the window. Her body was then devoured by dogs, fulfilling Elijah's prophecy.
Height: 165 cm
Weight: 61 kg
Blood type: unknown
Birthday: unknown
Measurements: B84 W57 H79
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by KAIZA; August 4th, 2012 at 10:18 PM.
It's pretty interesting, and definitely well-balanced, too.
However, you might want to expand the description of the Mystic Eyes (I'm not sure what they do, exactly) and her second NP, because it can apparently do so many different things, should get a longer explanation. How powerful are the golems? What does the City of Death entail, exactly? Death? Or cake?
<NEW FIC!> Revolution #9: Somewhere out there, there's a universe in which your mistakes and failures never happened, and all you wished for is true. How hard would you fight to make that real?
[11:20:46 AM] GlowStiks: lucina is supes attractive
[12:40] Lace: lucina is amazing
[12:40] Neir: lucina is pretty much flawless
Thanks.
And about the descriptions...Give me a few minutes.
Then he has captured the Essence of Nasu. Stat sheets should be as vague and unhelpful as possible, leaving maximum wiggle room for how abilities can be used by the narrative. Down with the details! Purity in stat sheets!
No three-sizes.
Instant failure.
Will not read.
There, I added measurements. :P
Though not sure if accurate...
Last edited by KAIZA; June 26th, 2012 at 01:24 AM.
For a Noble Phantasm that can deploy Grand Rituals near Reality Marbles, B rank is low.
Either increase the rank of Noble Phantasm, or reduce the bust of Jezebel. The power rank and bust size do not coincide.
...???...
...Duly noted. A-rank, then?
Anyhow, explanations, go!
I based the Mystic Eyes on Jezebel's penchant for charming and manipulating others for her own gain. She can basically use her Eyes to entrance other people (men in particular). Of course, this can be resisted, but its difficult.
Basically, a spellbook. Jezebel wasn't that famous as a magic user (although she supposedly practiced witchcraft), so this NP compensates for that. It contains spells for her to use both offensively (like, say, a "fireball" or a "magic laser") and defensively (like, say, a "shield"). She can also use it to summon Golem familiars to aid her. They are mostly cannon fodder, although they are not exactly weak. Think Caster's Dragon Tooth Warriors.
As for Mirey...it is basically a Bounded Field which surrounds a large area and seals ifrom the inside. However is caught inside it will be drained of prana to death. Servants are affected, but they can resist its effects, especially those with higher Magic Resistance. Some individuals may also resist the effect. Depends on the plot. :P
Hope this clears that up.
Last edited by KAIZA; June 26th, 2012 at 02:24 AM.
Very good. However, i do wonder what the '+' sign from her Mana stat corresponds to. Plus signs generally denote a condition that enables the parameter exceeds the original. If she has her mana boosted inside the bounded field of Mirey, i can accept that although usually bounded fields the scale of cities give better boosts than just upping mana. Give another plus to her endurance, maybe? E+ endurance isn't that great a factor.
"MONGLERS!" - Gilgamesh, last words
Well, yes, she gains a boost thanks to the Tome and Mirey. However, Mirey, despite the name, is not really city-sized. It's only a Bounded Field generated by the Tome (which replicates the City of Death). It can cover a large area, but city-wide would be a bit too excesive.
Last edited by KAIZA; June 26th, 2012 at 10:04 AM.
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