Remember when I said Santa would probably be my last servant of the year? Turns out I'm a filthy liar. I ended up making Aeneas while drunk on Gin yesterday.
I could either post him now with my awful abridged version of his lore and everything or actually neaten it up a bit.
What would the people prefer?
Unless you do something interesting with it I'd say nobody really cares about lore. So long as everything else is up to spec, go right ahead.
It should be obvious when the alcohol was affecting me in more places than others. This is by far the most drunk I've been when I've made a servant, I love Gin.
A part of me nearly went with a bad recolour of Achilles or Hector Source: (X)
Servant: Shielder Other Classes: Lancer, Rider True Name: Aeneas "Jupiter Indiges" Alignment: Lawful Good Place of Origin: Rome (Although born in Troy, he is fundamentally a Roman hero) Attribute: Sky Traits: Human, Roman, Divine
Height/Weight: 183cm/78kg Likes: Peitas - Seriously Dislikes: Those who disrespect the Gods authority Talent: "Mama's Boy" Natural Enemy: Dido, Camilla, Diomedes
STR: A
END: B
AGI: B
MGI: C
LCK: EX
NP: A++
Class Skills:
Magic Resistance: B
Grants protection against magical effects. Differently from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether. Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for them to be affected. Shielder hails from the Age of Gods and combined with the natural ability of his class container possesses high resistance.
Riding: C
The ability to ride mounts. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank, and A-rank can allow for Phantasmal Beasts and Divine Beasts to be mounted. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding.At this rank, one can flawlessly ride animals and vehicles that received a proper training and adjustment. Shielder was never famed for his skill with mounts and never depicted upon one although he was surely trained on the matter.
Self-Field Defence: A
A power displayed when protecting allies or an allied camp. Exhibits damage reduction surpassing the defensive limit value, but Shielder himself is not included as a target. Also, the higher the Rank, the more protective range spreads. Shielder lived by the virtue of selfless devotion and so possesses a high rank.
Personal Skills:
Deus ex Machina: EX
A blessing from Divine Spirits. Similar to other skills, Luck is boosted in dangerous situations. Closer to divine intervention in effect - at this rank as long as he is able to make a Luck related roll or check Shielder will automatically pass as long as he acts in favour of the Gods. This can be considered to a a "Cheat Skill".
During his adventures, the gods would often interrupt to assist him along the way many times either by clearing the path ahead or knocking aside armies. Venus herself even fought on behalf of him in battle and could potentially be summoned in his place as proxy - although with her power greatly limited in a class container.
Divinity: A
The measure of whether one has Divine Spirit aptitude or not. At high levels one is treated as a mixed race of a Divine Spirit. It also has an effect which reduces special defensive values called "purge defence" in proportion to the Divinity's Rank. It can break through Skills such as Protection of the Faith and Enlightenment of the Sacred Fig. A son of Venus who was raised to Godhood after death - Shielder possesses among the highest available ranks.
Journey of Flowers: D
A blessing given to those whose legends consists mostly of them taking the path of a king. The servants travelling is filled with hope, making the hearts of those who fight along them be more proactive. Throughout his journey, he did not overly develop or grow as a person, nor did he attain overt greatness on the field of battle due to reliance upon others to do so. He retains a low ranking of this skill for succeeding in his task of his journey to Italy and becoming precursor of Rome.
Mana Defence: A
The increase in performance caused by infusing one's weapons and body with Magical Energy and instantly translating it into defensive power. Lancer in this state could become a sacred wall that could easily protect an entire country.
Noble Phantasms
Venus Furor
Wrath of Mothers Piercing Blow
Type: Anti-Unit
Rank: B
Range: 1~40
Max Targets: 30 People
The spear of Shielder and primary Noble Phantasm if summoned in the Lancer class. A divine construct forged by the gods and used in his final battle against his long standing rival Turnas.
Legend states that when it was thrown, it got stuck in an Olive tree and Turnas prayed to the local gods it would not come loose and no matter what Shielder did, he could not pull it out. Enraged, his mother Venus appeared and pulled it out for him. After Turnas was nearly beaten, he hid behind his shield which Venus Furor pierced due to the blessing of the Goddess. When thrown, it will appear to always return to his hand. However that is not its true ability. With its name invoked, this spear can move freely with the power of his mind and will akin to telekinesis. However due to being summoned in the Shielder class, it does not possess the "true" ability" and would if summoned in the Lancer class.
Arma Vulcania
Divine Forged Armour
Type: Anti-Unit (Self)
Rank: B+
Range: 0
Max Targets: 1 Person
The armour of Shielder. This Noble Phantasm was forged by the God Vulcan upon commission of Venus. It is a predecessor of the armour of Achilles though due to the gap of time being very small in comparison, diminishment is minimal although it possesses less fame. Regardless it is comparable to the sets worn by Achilles and Diomedes.
His breastplate, helmet and grieves all function as one defensive duel-functional Noble Phantasm. It’s passive effect is deploying a continual, invisible field of energy that fits to his form perfectly so that his armour and entire body cancels out any attack of B rank or lower. If one were not wearing the complete set then non-armoured parts would not receive the protected field.
In the Shielder class, by calling out its true name due to comparison to the ‘Golden Boar’ armour of Diomedes – the individual pieces will combine into a set of armour that covers his entire body and grants a seal his current skills, replacing them with Mad Enhancement, Monstrous Strength and Scream of Awe. This is due to Diomedes armour being conflated with Tydeus’ arms and the hide of the Calydonian Boar. Regardless, this is still inaccessible in this class.
Aureus Gloria Orbis
Eternal Wonder of Rome
Type: Barrier
Rank: A++
Range: 1~20
Max Targets: 100 People
The mightiest Noble Phantasm of Shielder. The splendid golden shield is a glorious divine construct forged by Vulcan, a defensive Noble Phantasm equivalent to the shield of the Hero of the Illiad. Upon the shield, the future glory of Rome is depicted. It is a conceptual weapon of all the combined strength by its millions of citizens; past, present and future. All the pain and sacrifice they made, the pain of those they subjugated and the glory they attained. All for the Eternal City.
When activated with its true name, the shield flares up and becomes a golden Bounded Field, in the form of burning eagle - the symbol of Rome that stands alongside the eternal city. Within the protective field of the Noble Phantasm he is considered to be "Within the city that stands forever" - Shielder is protected from any external force. However it is also conceptualised as a part of Shielder's way of life. Peitas. Utter selfless devotion. It must be used to protect Shielder and if he does not, the Noble Phantasm will seal itself until he has repented. Whilst within the shield's field he can use it as an attack to charge forward to crush his foes under the conceptual weight of Rome. Despite the glory of the Noble Phantasm, it has been affected by the legacy of the eternal city that hungers to consume all and will burn away all land the eagle walks upon and harm those within who are not descended from Rome.
One could also consider it a blessing from his mother Venus, as the flame underfoot that he leaves behind him burn away anything to his touch, an attack akin to "Weaponise the concept of the planet Venus" similar to that of another deity.
A very alcohol affected abridgement of his Lore. Do not read if you have any sort of attachment to the Aenied or if bad drunk grammar causes you physical pain
The bridge of Classical Mythology between Greek and Roman. Son of the Goddess Venus and Trojan prince Anchises. He fought in the trojan was and got his butt kicked and rescued by his mother after Diomedes grabbed him by the leg and used Aeneas as a C Rank Noble Phantasm to beat half an army to death and Neptune saved him by breaking character to save him from one of Achilles drive by beat-downs despite him being a minnor character at this point. This is some less than subtle foreshadowing.
During the sack of Troy at the end of the legendary Trojan War, Aeneas was commanded by the Gods to leg it alongside his dad, his wife (who then died) and a buncha fanboys called the Aeneads. However he is plagued by Hera. I mean Juno - the roman rebranded version of Hera. In fact most roman gods and heroes were of Greek invention but given a new colour palette and name. ORIGINAL CHARACTER! DO NOT STEAL!!1! Basically if mythos was deviantart. Why is Juno even angry ad Aeneas, he aint don nothing wrong. shes just the go-to villain to screw over demigods for some reason.
anyway
Aeneas gets a fleet of ships because his mum gave them to him (a common theme that aint gonna stop soon so buckle down) and after a booze cruise to Thrace is told to go to Italy (where a lot of people from the Trojan war went to) as he is prophesised to become a great king. so off they go but Juno causes a storm for literally no reason to they crash at this island where they see a giant table with a ton of food so they eat it and a few harpies say
"One day you'll get so hungry you will eat your table!"
So they're like "Cool, whateves" and got lost and land in Buthrotum (how do you pronouce that?) and they're brought as prisoners to the rulers Helenus and Andromache. See Buttwhatever is a Greek city but has been taken over by trojans. but Aeneas is a trojan so why???
Plot holes aside, Helenus says if they go the short way, they'll die like super brutal to scylla and charybdis who are like the worlds greatest tag team wrestling team if WWE included murder. So they start the long ways around and one of Odysseus's men I mean Ulysses. DEFINETLY NOT ODYSSEUS.
ULYSSES IS AN OC. Nah screw it, he's just a renamed Odysseus. And this guy helps them away from this Cyclops that Odysseus just stabbed in the eye.
Then Juno asks Poseidon I mean Neptune to have them crash as Aeneas is supposed to destroy Carthage (Junos fav city) bu they crash in Carthage. Maybe Neptune was drunk.
So they Queen of Carthage, Dido (no not the singer) sees the crew get slam dunked on her shores and Venus forces her to become his Overly Attached Girlfriend because the Gods have no fucking idea of consent in a relationship. So these two are at it but Venus is like:
"Son, you know I just got you a super hot GF who I made to be always wanting it but you gotta go so you can be a king."
So Aeneas leave in the middle of the night. Dido is distraught as she was forced to love this due who bailed so she lit the entire city on fire and stabbed herself. In some versions she still survived for a few days. Holy shit she's hardcore.
So Aeneas dad dies and they celebrate I mean comisterete I mean HONOUR his memory by partying all day and night non-stop for a week. They party so hard they wake the dead guy up and he joins the party, gets wasted and says "VISIT ME IN HADES MA BOI" then dies again from alcohol poisoning.
So to procrastinate actually doing his job, Aeneas decides to go to hell. Relatable - I've been in retail and hell is preferable. so on his way to hell he meets Dido cause she died. Remember? I dont. well I say "Meet", meet as in when you see your boss/teacher/colleague you don't like in a shop so literally dive into the next isle. So he meets his dad and the dude gice him a nine hour lecture about how good Romulus is, how great Rome will be and how FUCKING AWESOME his decendent GAIUS JULIUS CAESAR will be. Because he apparently couldn’t do it alive.
so he climbs out of hell.
wait how did he even get in there anyways? what could this nerd do to go to hell? be bad to workers on black friday?
so he climbs out of hell. all his men are hangry (a new emotion I have invented that is a combonation of hungry and angry) so they end up eating their breadtables. BOOM! OMINOUS PROPHECY FROM EARLIER FULFILLED WITH SIGNIFICANTLY LESS PAIN THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT.
So they hit up the natives (the latins) and Aeneas is like. "Dude, I know this is your crib and we are basically a bunch of murderhobos with giant superiority complexes but hows about you let me move in and marry your daughter."
Then Juno returns to Ruin Everything and starts a war between these otherwise nice people.
So the kings BF who the princess was engaged to (Turnias) is psyched for this while Aeneas legs it because he has realised he has never actually won a single fight by himself because his mum has always showed up at some point to save his sorry ass so Venus saves the day (again) by hitting up her husband to make Aeneas a ton of legendary game-breaking weaponry despite the fact he's only a level 2 paladin.
So after schenanigans happen, Aeneas friend died who he was supposed to protect died and deciding to shamelessly rip off the moment from Achilles and Patroclus becomes a meatgrinder of death. Suddenly some of that sweet Grimdark Angst has made this loser competant.
So this turnip guy legs it and this significantly smarter and better woman called Camilla shows up and kills most of Aeneas' fanbase so he sends a dude to assassinate her while she's distracted by something shiny. because feminism hasn't been invented yet. Turns out this was a super smart move as she was the Goddess Diane's adopted daughter and she super-smites the assassin dude.
Then a whole lot more murder happens than I can physically talk about where a bunch of siginificantly more cool and interesting people die until it is the Super Final Shoenun Showdown between Aeneas and Turnip. Turnip dies.
So that happened. Aeneas and the princess are basically King and Queen of a literal mountain of corpses.
Thus ends the worlds worst continuation fic & state sponsored plagiarised propaganda.
Personality
The origin of a Homeric hero that has become the embodiment of traditional roman values. Although he has an arrogant temper, he will always prefer diplomacy to conflict and always maintains a calm and well mannered demeanour. Over his years he has seen much war has become numb to it - able to witness atrocities utterly unfazed.
He is extremely loyal to the gods and will speak out loud about them, praising them of every action and acting as if they accompany him. However due to his close connection to the gods he has a bit of a superiority complex, speaking to 'Lessers' in a snotty and condescending manner. He looks down upon those who do not originate from Rome or lack any connection to the Gods, particularly his.
Due to his mother giving him whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it - he is a very difficult person at times, especially around women. He is also extremely confident in his abilities - which he lacks as he forgets he has never actually won a single battle by himself. Not that he is bad by any means - he just simply can't compare to greats such as Diomedes and Achilles. However this façade breaks down if he nears defeat and he will beg and grovel to the Gods to save him and plead for mercy, though the chances of this are low. In short, he is the worst stereotypes of a Nerd.
It is possible to summon his younger self as Lancer from the midst of the Trojan war who will act very differently - almost as if he was a completely different person.
Also, don't play "Stacys mom" around him, he will not get the joke and the humour will be lost.
Tactics
As a Shielder, he possesses many defensive Noble Phantasms so it is best to play strategically. He is lacking in offensive power however his unique skill allows for him to overcome challenges he should by no means succeed. However his Noble Phantasms allow him to resist most forms of physical damage so it is best to draw out opponents and exhaust them before putting them down.
But when in doubt, call up Venus to do all the work.
Aeneas: Okay, that lore is pretty funny. I think you ought to rewrite his personality when sober though, since it helps to have something you can clearly visualize how a given character would act. Personality is really helpful in making Servants come off as more then pure stat sheets, while Lore is usually fairly expendable unless you have some really unique take on it.
The sheet itself is not bad. Very obviously comes off as a Roman counterpart of Achilles, but I presume that's intentional given your "Original character DO NOT STEAL" comment. Still, it makes his NPs feel a little bit generic, though with the shield you at least tried to vary it up a bit. Deus Ex Machina Skill is interesting. At first I thought the name was a little silly but it actually fits very well with the ancient Greek and Roman theatrical tradition of having the gods swoop in and solve the heroes' problems at the end.
"Diomedes grabbed him by the leg and used Aeneas as a C Rank Noble Phantasm to beat half an army to death"
I like this version more
Lanceneas
I'd probably incorporate that into a Lancer variant if I had enough
Gin
Inspiration
- - - Updated - - -
Originally Posted by WhatShouldNotBe
*claps*
Bravo, Bravo.
I wonder if one can make an Abridged version of other servant lores......
*bows*
I had a similar vibe with my Sir Balin sheet near the beginning of the thread but here I decided to unleash the beast/alcohol
- - - Updated - - -
Originally Posted by JetKinen
I mean it is good, but better myths has already perfected that kind of storytelling so how can we even compete
We can try. Bettermyths is over anyways so we may as well carry the torch.
- - - Updated - - -
Originally Posted by RoydGolden
Aeneas: Okay, that lore is pretty funny. I think you ought to rewrite his personality when sober though, since it helps to have something you can clearly visualize how a given character would act. Personality is really helpful in making Servants come off as more then pure stat sheets, while Lore is usually fairly expendable unless you have some really unique take on it.
The sheet itself is not bad. Very obviously comes off as a Roman counterpart of Achilles, but I presume that's intentional given your "Original character DO NOT STEAL" comment. Still, it makes his NPs feel a little bit generic, though with the shield you at least tried to vary it up a bit. Deus Ex Machina Skill is interesting. At first I thought the name was a little silly but it actually fits very well with the ancient Greek and Roman theatrical tradition of having the gods swoop in and solve the heroes' problems at the end.
Yeah, I'll rewrite the personality section after work today.
As fir the NP's, it's the best anyone can do - for the class at least. I know I joked about how he was a cheap rip off of Achilles but he really was. The whole Aenied was (in my opinion) state sponsored propaganda that was legitimate plagiarism of the Odyssey although with a trip to hell thrown in for no reason than to tell everyone to praise Caesar. Hell, Virgil even said if he died before he finished writing it to burn it.
With the Deus ex Machina skill I nearly used it as an excuse to summon Venus instead as she won most of his battles but that niche belongs to Artemis and Orion.
He sounds like he could rival Perseus as a 'most successful Shinji Matou'.
......
is it bad that I feel like Perseus only gets a bad rap because we're kinda looking at him through not entirely unbiased eyes?
I mean, we only hear about him through Medusa, and she's..... not exactly the most reliable of narrators for telling the story of the guy who killed her.
Percy is much different from Shinji from the glimpses we get of him in Prototype.
I'd possibly qualify him as 'Shinji but a lot nicer'.
Originally Posted by Sandstorm77
He's just putting the bone of his sword into other people until it explodes and lets out parts of him inside them.
Originally Posted by AvengerEmiya
Genderswaps are terrible, but I think I and other people would hate them less if Fate didn't keep ignoring actual heroines throughout history and folklore. Like, why bother turning Francis Drake into a woman when Ching Shih and Grace O'Malley exist?
Originally Posted by Five_X
Fate Zero is just Fate Stay Night for people who think Shirou is too girly
Isn't he really only like that because his fuckboy Master got cancer and died or something.
Before he was super edgy and brooding, I don't think he infiltrated Ayaka's school until after the albino kid was dead.
Percy is much different from Shinji from the glimpses we get of him in Prototype.
I'd possibly qualify him as 'Shinji but a lot nicer'.
I'm not sure if the Perseus in Prototype is even the same as the one referenced in Hollow Ataraxia to be honest. After all, Proto is kind of an alternate universe.
Originally Posted by Bird of Hermes
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