Heroes of Justice

[RadiantBeam]

The ending of this fic will be the moment Shirou accepts that in order to be a hero of justice, he must run around the city naked.

[blitz1/2]

Damn, it was only now that I realised that Bow Girl is Kuro, I always thought she was Archerko.

[Santo]

Damn, it was only now that I realised that Bow Girl is Kuro, I always thought she was Archerko.

Allow me to say.

...

You know...that's probably my mistake...huu...

[Elf]

This is just . . . <3.

That is all.

[Ergast]

The ending of this fic will be the moment Shirou accepts that in order to be a hero of justice, he must run around the city naked.

Dammit, Beam! Stop saying things like this with an avatar like that!

On an unrelated note, Emma is awesome.

[Aiden]

This is just . . . <3.

That is all.

keisan doori desu

[Fafnir]

The ending of this fic will be the moment Shirou accepts that in order to be a hero of justice, he must run around the city naked.

Instakill for many anti-heroines...

[Ergast]

Instakill for every heroine/anti-heroine...

Fix'd that for you, buddy

[RadiantBeam]

Instakill for many anti-heroines...

Shirou's got to get that harem of his somehow!

[lethum]

Well, if he's decided to run around naked, chances are that he is more ready to engage with interest parties in a more... kinesthetic way.

[TheInfamousMan]

I know that Bow Girl will be pretty happy...

[Elf]

Lancer: "Lad, you're beating you're self black and blue!"

Shirou: "My privates hurt, Lancer!"

Archer: *On rooftop, smirking.* "Just as planned."

[Santo]

So I took the time to write some more of this crazy thing.

And Aiden did me the favor of looking over it to (Hopefully) fix the atrocity I call grammar.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

...

Look I don't want to talk about it. >,>

Anyways, without further ado.

(*<*)b---~*<(Expecto! Snippetus! Strategicus!)

...

(>c<)<(EXPLODICUS!)

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Last time on: Heroes Of Justice.

“No you cannot do this!”

“This path…I don’t believe it’s the wrong one.”

“You dare make me walk the same ground as you!?”

“Sorry. I like you the most, Saber. So I won’t give you to a guy like him.”

“Well done. So…now what? What can you do now?”

“I do not wish it if it will dirty me. I already have everything I wanted.”

“Ex-!”

“Come! SABER!”

And now…the conclusion.

The event that would come to be known simply as 'The Calamity' happened that day. On that day, the Shinto shopping center had been almost completely destroyed.

In the days to come, people would only know to say: “If only Rin and Luvi-cough!- Nir and Aviul had not squished Mysterious Heroine X's meatbuns."

“L-Look! I’ll buy her some more alright! No need to get violent!”

“▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅!!!!” was Sword Man's eloquent reply.

“You just destroyed the meatbun store!”

“▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅!!!!” Bow Girl happened to agree with her valiant counterpart, and could only add to the point.

“Why is it my fault!?”

“▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅!!!!”

“... now you’re just being unreasonable.”

“▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅!!!!!!”

The battle was heated indeed.

Then, the light of the sun dimmed, as if clouds were amalgamating into a most terrible storm, one that would terrorize the oceans with its fury. A storm that would destroy anything and everything in its path.

But no…it was not that…the sun was still shining in its full glory across the noonday skies. It was simply being outshone by a golden radiance that stood unequaled before all other feeble competitors.

He smirked. “To think that my eternal rival and his succubus could be pushed to such limitless fury! To think that in his love-fueled rage, he would forsake and forget his promise! To think that justice, honor, and leniency would simply be wiped from his mind…that is something I cannot allow…no my friend, your honor is worth more than a pair of petty thieves.”

Gilgamesh stretched to his (relatively) impressive height, the golden radiance of his might enough to blind a common man.

He smirked and threw his arms wide and a dozen doves took flight alongside his discarded jacket, shirt, and pants. His radiance reflecting from their snow-white plumage, “hear me now you mere mortals, for you are about to be judged by the one and only King of Heroes! Feel proud that it is I that passes Judgment upon you, for you have gravely transgressed against me!”

The voice of Gilgamesh resounded with earthshaking power, even the echo of his mighty declaration enough to drive a mere mortal to their knees in reverence.

He was, of course, completely ignored.

When one has a pair of maniacs swinging what can be described as a hunk of raw iron and a marble pillar, one tends to get tunnel vision.

A royal vein pulsed magnificently on his regal forehead.

“You dare?” Only in italics and bold could one properly denote his royal rage, a luminous haze shimmering behind him as dozens of masterpieces that were also weapons came into being.

The subsequent rain of death pulverized the dying carcass of the Shinto shopping center, annihilated the clothing of Nir and Aviul, sent dozens of faceless Non-Player Characters flying in a blatant display of their impotence, and shocked Sword-Man and Bow-Girl out of their murderous rage.

They coughed as they waited for the smoke to clear.

“Gilgamesh!” Sword-Man said once he managed to catch a glimpse of his rival.

Gilgamesh smirked, he then jumped down from the pole upon which he stood. Proudly facing off against the shirtless Sword-Man. “Sword-Man, I saw that you were having trouble, so as your Lord and Master, it fell upon me to aid my pitiful vassal!”

Before Sword-Man could answer, coughing came from the one part of the dust cloud that had conveniently not dispersed, hiding the notorious would-be thieves Nir and Aviul.

“Do not interfere Gilgamesh,” said Sword-Man as he held a serrated sickle across Gilgamesh’s chest, barring his way, a murderous light shining from his eyes. “They squished Saber’s meatbuns. I must deal with this alone.”

“Who?”

“Mysterious Heroine X.”

“Ahh, this is a matter of the heart! A duel for the honor of your woman! Truly I should not have interfered. You have my permission to continue on alone.”

Sword-Man glowered and ignored his haughty rival, and brandished his katana at the clearing cloud of dust.

But when the dust finally settled, Nir and Aviul were nowhere to be found. The only ones there were Rin and Luvia their clothes wrinkled and askew, as if they had been put on in haste.

But that, as we all know, is impossible. Their clothing must have been mussed by the destruction around them. The fact of the matter being that the nefarious would-be jewel thieves had escaped.

Rin looked around herself, her eyes widening with shock when they fell upon Gilgamesh’s chiseled abs and steely pectorals, his Goldenness clad only in what the people of the town called ‘the tighty goldies.’

“Aww, hell.”

Her utterance caused Gilgamesh’s crimson gaze to snap unto her form, a wolf-like grin spreading on his lips. He did not walk, he did not prance, he prowled to the scampering Rin.

“My Queen! Such a shame to see you in such deplorable state.” He swept her up into a princess carry, holding her supple body to his hard muscular chest. “I must rectify this immediately! Be patient while I bring you to the Royal Room and prepare the Scented Bath. And after that we will-”

Yes, the capitals were entirely necessary.

“Let! Me! Go!” Rin screamed as she struggled ineffectually.

Gilgamesh did not listen to her protest. “-hall lick the sweet nectar that will be produced by the petals of your sacred flower as my Royal Ram pulses with anticipation while we-”

“WHAT THE CHRIST ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?”

“-istening to the melody that shall be your heated moans as we climb upon unknown heights in the mountains of passio-”

“I NEED AN ADULT!”

“-eaning into one another as we drive each other to the crescendo! Losing ourselves in the sensations as we-”

“Gilgamesh.”Sword-Man pressed the tip a spear lightly against Gilgamesh’s neck. “Put her down.”

“Sword-Man!” said Rin with a hopeful smile.

Gilgamesh, as was his wont, smirked. “No my young vassal you misunderstand! She may be tsun now, but the dere will come! She is only a little shy, somewhat out of her depth due to the anticipation she feels for the wild sex.”

“What wild sex!?”

“The wild sex we’ll be having my dear, now hush,” whispered Gilgamesh lovingly.

“Be that as it may,” said Sword-Man, “you need to let her go.”

“Ohh Sword-Man you still do not understand... how quaint. Come, I shall elucidate for you.”

Gilgamesh then leaned down and whispered into Sword-Man’s ear. The color red climbed up from his neck, to his cheeks, and up, until his entire head to the tip of his ears was the same shade as his hair.

“My god,” he said as he stumbled back. “T-To think that it was like that!”

“Yes my vassal…now you understand.”

“I-I never would have thought!”

“Indeed.” Gilgamesh smirked and winked. “Now go, I am sure your own queen will be ecstatic when you put what I’ve told you to good use. My Queen you will need to be patient, for I shall need to scatter the rose petals upon the satin sheets of our bed.”

Gilgamesh then walked away unimpeded, Sword-Man falling to his knees. “The world of adults…truly is terrifying,” he said with a shell-shocked expression on his face.

Luvia chose that moment to recover from her concussion. She blinked, twice, and saw the struggling Rin and the retreating Gilgamesh.

“Unhand her, you gaudily clad royal cretin!” she screamed as she gave chase for the purpose of rescuing her totally platonic arch-nemesis from certain doom.

"How many times have I told you I don't know who this Ayaka is!?" screamed Rin as she pushed at his face.

“Nonsense, my dear, you have blue eyes!”

The three rounded a corner and were lost from sight.

And then Kuro, still dressed only in a towel, tackled Sword-Man to the floor.

“Sword-Man! I was so scared! Bow-Girl took my clothes and disappeared!”

Sword-Man snapped out of his shock. “That villain! To think we worked together! I had hoped she had turned from the path of evil.”

“Yes~ Nya~” said Kuro as she wiggled to bring as much of her exposed flesh into contact with Sword-Man’s chiseled chest as she could manage.

“Young lady, please cease your inappropriate behavior.”

“Nya~”

“Look, Ku- er, young lady,” Sword-Man said as he took her by the shoulders and gazed fiercely into her eyes. “I will entrust upon you an extremely important task.”

“Kya! You’ll rely on me!?”

“Yes, take Saber, help her walk away from this most terrible tragedy. I will meet up with you as soon as I can!”

“…Help who?”

Sword-Man sighed. “Mysterious Heroine X.”

“Oh, right. Of course, Sword-Man! I’ll do as you ask.” Kuro then scampered off, the towel miraculously keeping her decently covered, and took the hand of Mysterious Heroine X. Gently helping the catatonic super heroine to her feet as she fiercely held the bag of squished meatbuns to her chest.

“Now now, come on, we need to go.”

Mysterious Heroine X did not even nod numbly, she simply walked where she was led, her steps heavy and her gaze dull.

Sword-Man watched them go, he then turned and faced the one store that had not been annihilated.

“Well,” he said as he took a step to its doors, “might as well see if they sell meatbuns.”

And then a small fist in a leather glove smacked into his temple going at eighty kilometers per hour.

“Sword-Man,” said Bazett Fraga McRemitz as she recovered from the momentum of her own attack.“We meet at last.”

[Aiden]

That one took a while.

[Santo]

That one took a while.

Yes it did.

...

Thank you for nagging at me to write it. xD

[Lycodrake]

Gilgamesh being a bit of a ham and molesting Rin/Nir/Ayaka was quite hilarious, I have to admit.
Also: Bow Girl/Kuro is arguably one of the best parts of this.
Bazett was introduced with her full name and said "we meet at last" = villain material.
...or so I think. XP
Thank you both for another hilarious installment.

[Santo]

Glad you liked it. ^_^

[YeOfLittleFaith]

....

You made Gilgamesh Moczo's Proto-Gil.
You goddamn made him Moczo's Proto-Girl.
YOU MADE HIM MOCZO'S PROTO -

PFFT -HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH




.... hurk! Breathe!
My sides xD

Gilgamesh just won this update. Christ. His entrance was so overblown and overdramatic.... pigeons! White birds flying off as he (un)dressed to his superhero outfit!
X3
Speaking of which. The "tighty goldies".

I kinda lost it there.
And let me say. I really like it when Gil isn't as assholery as his canon self and him and Shirou actually have something of an odd companionship or the like.

Poor Saber. Everyone just knows her by Mysterious Heroine X as opposed to her actual superhero name!
And actually, poor Shirou too. Bazett just got on the scene. Because level 30 Bazett out of fucking nowhere.

[Santo]

Necroing after a few month's but hey, that's how life goes.

So...here is the thing. I got an idea to continue this thing but...is anyone still interested?

Neither Aiden nor I are the type of people that you see going "I WANT 'X' NUMBER OF REVIEWS BEFORE I CONTINUE IT HUR DUR WEEPY WEEP!"

But when the last snippet only got two comments...well...it dealt a tad of a blow to our desire to continue it. >,<

So...if it would not be too much to ask. May I have a show of hands as to who would be interested in seeing more of this thing?

[Kirby]

I'm still interested.